Then he trotted to the back of the ship and pulled the silver sheet from his mysterious invention. To Scamp and the other two frowning Spacemutts it was just a mess of wires and circuits with a large funnel at the top and a long barrel sticking out at the front.
‘What’s that?’ they all said together.
‘The Cat Litter Cannon!’ said Butch, pointing to various parts of the contraption. ‘You fill the funnel with litter, here, and fire it through the cannon, here. And when the cats see all that lovely litter they’ll forget their evil plans and want to have a wee instead!’
Poppy frowned.
said Butch moving over to a diagram on the wall and scribbling a quick equation. ‘But if I narrow the cannon and increase the firing pressure, one grain of litter should be enough shatter a giant china saucer.’
said Rocket.
‘There’s no time to wire it into the Dogstar’s mainframe,’ said Butch. ‘So we’ll have to strap it to the front of the ship, where one of us will need to operate it manually. And it will have to be someone small enough to fit behind the cannon.’
Rocket, Poppy and Butch all looked at the beagle pup.
‘I’ll do it!’ said Scamp, wagging his tail excitedly.
Just then the warning lights began to throb across the control panels and a siren sounded through the ship. ‘WORMHOLE OPENING OVER PLANET MARS!’ said WOOF, in a louder, more serious voice than usual. ‘MOUSESHIP SIGNATURE DETECTED!’
‘Get us down to the surface, Poppy,’ said Rocket, knowing their plan would fail if Fluffkins saw the Dogstar circling Mars. He scanned the Martian landscape and quickly located a large enough crater to land in, where they could also prepare the cannon without being seen.
Poppy bounded back to her seat as Rocket sent her the coordinates and Butch prepared the ship for a rapid descent. As the Dogstar fired its engines and shot down through the orange atmosphere, Scamp looked back in time to see a spiral vortex ripping through the starry sky.
Flight of the Flying Saucers
The wormhole opened above the red planet in a swirling tunnel of purple light, and through it came the clockwork Mouseship, key turning and tail spinning as it zipped through space and time.
The metal mouse burst through the atmosphere of Mars with a clap of thunder and began hurtling towards the ground. At the last minute, two wheels appeared from its underbelly and the Mouseship bumped along the red, rocky surface, rattling to a stop before the vast saucer squadron.
A metal door dropped down with a clang and Baldy scuttled out with a pile of satin cushions, placing them in a line from the base of the Mouseship to a tall podium with a giant screen behind it. Moments later, Lady Fluffkins stepped from the ship and made her slinky way along the row of cushions, head and tail held high.
The tabby troops meowed from their saucers as the white Persian stepped up to the podium and appeared on the screen, and fell silent when she tapped the microphone. Lady Fluffkins then leaned forward, cleared a large hairball from her throat and spat it out in front of her.
‘Earth!’ she purred, spinning the matted ball playfully with her paw. ‘A small blue planet filled with mangy mutts and dumb, hairless creatures that call themselves humans.’
Baldy glanced down at his pink, fleshy body and gulped.
‘But the time of man and man’s best friend has come to an end,’ the empress continued. ‘Martian moggies! You have built this magnificent fleet right under the dogs’ stupid wet noses, and tonight you will invade planet Earth and complete my glorious empire!’
A yowling cheer erupted from the feline fleet, followed by the humming of engines as the flying saucers all hovered above the ground. Lady Fluffkins kept them waiting a moment longer as she squashed the hairball beneath her paw, then the Persian slowly lifted her head.
‘FLY, MY GINGER PRETTIES! FLY!’ she roared, and swiped the squashed hairball from the podium. With that the fleet of flying saucers took to the sky, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake.
When the dust settled, Lady Fluffkins frowned at the sound of rumbling jets coming from a nearby crater. She looked at Baldy, who shrugged helplessly. Then the empress gave a deafening YOWL! as the Dogstar slowly rose up above the podium and took off after the saucers.
The Dogstar gave chase to the flying saucers with the modified Cat Litter Cannon strapped to its nose. Poppy had to crane her neck sideways in the pilot seat to see where she was going, while Rocket watched nervously as Scamp made practice swings with the weapon. The pup wore a harness around his belly to hold him steady and goggles to protect his eyes from dusty Martian winds.
‘The engines are now at maximum power!’ Butch barked from the back of the ship.
Poppy pushed the levers forward and quickly closed in on the feline fleet. The plan was simple: shatter the soaring saucers and then return to Mars to capture Lady Fluffkins.
The Spacemutts all watched nervously as Scamp focussed his sights on the fleeing craft, and held their breath as the first round of litter streamed from the cannon. The shower of grit shot through the sky at bullet speed, but missed the flying saucers completely.
‘Give him time,’ said Poppy, pulling the Dogstar around for another attempt.
‘He’s just warming up,’ said Butch, adjusting the fuel valves.
Rocket nodded and held his breath, though at that moment the captain was more worried about the safety of the pup than the threat of the enemy craft.
When the Dogstar came about, Scamp knew to pull the cannon to the right on firing, and this time the torrent of litter showered through the saucers, immediately shattering half of the fleet. China pieces filled the sky like exploding fireworks, with ginger tabbies shooting through the air in ejector seats.
The beagle waved a triumphant paw and the Spacemutts cheered his success. Then Poppy zoomed around the falling debris and took off after the remaining saucers. With expert steering, she managed to gather most of the saucers together like a sheepdog herding sheep, and Scamp shattered them in a rapid fly-past. Then they took off after the few remaining craft, who looped the loop and spun wildly, but were no match for the nimble Dogstar.
The beagle pup was now more confident, swinging the cannon back and forth, and firing short bursts of litter as the china craft fled in all directions. CRACK! SMASH! CRASH! they went, and the sky was filled with a blizzard of broken crockery.
With Butch keeping power levels up and Poppy steering under Rocket’s orders, Scamp made short work of the remaining feline fleet. Working as one, the Spacemutts quickly cleared the sky of saucers, smashing all except one, which had doubled back and was flying close to the ground.
‘After him, Poppy!’ said Rocket.
The Dogstar took a vertical dive and then gave chase mere metres above the ground. Scamp swung the cannon wildly to get a shot, but the saucer kept pulling back alongside their ship, just out of range.
Rocket and Poppy growled as the ginger minion poked his tongue out at the beagle pup, shamelessly taunting him.
Scamp tried desperately to swing the cannon round for a sideways shot, but the safety harness holding him to the ship made that impossible. So the pup unfastened the buckle and clung to the weapon as it spun round the nose of the Dogstar. Scamp quickly dispatched the saucer with one short burst, but the cannon kicked back and knocked the pup clear from the ship.
‘NOOOOO!’ yelled Rocket, watching the pup fall. The captain immediately bounded to the back of the Dogstar and threw open the cargo doors. He gulped at the red, rocky ground speeding past below him and then leaped from the rear of the ship.
Rocket hit the ground hard and rolled in the dust to lessen the impact, then he sprang up and looked around for Scamp. The pup was still tumbling along the dusty surface of the planet, and eventually bumped to a stop at the base of Lady Fluffkins’ stage.
Rocket bolted forward as fast as he could, but the white Persian had been watching everything. The empress moved like lightning to the edge of the platform and then leaped on the helpless pu
p.
Bye-bye, Beagle
Rocket skidded to a halt as Lady Fluffkins landed on the dazed pup, pinning him down with all four paws. The captain lowered his head and gave a rumbling growl, circling the Persian and her puppy prisoner.
‘One step closer, Spacemutt,’ hissed Lady Fluffkins, ‘and it’s bye-bye, beagle!’
‘Let him go, furball!’ growled Rocket.
‘After he broke all of my lovely saucers?’ hissed the cat. ‘Not likely!’
‘He was acting under my orders,’ barked the captain as he continued to stalk around the Persian, slowly closing the circle. ‘I’m the one you really want!’
‘Hmmm,’ purred the cat, with a twinkle in her eye. ‘That’s true!’
In one rapid movement Lady Fluffkins leaped from Scamp and on to Rocket’s back, hackles high and tail puffed out like a pompom. She immediately dug her claws in and began screeching like a wild thing as the dog bucked to throw her off.
‘YEOOOOW!’ shrieked Fluffkins, leaping on to the dog’s head and tugging at his ears.
‘GRRRRRR!’ growled Rocket, rolling on to his back to shake her free.
Fluffkins and Rocket separated and stalked around each other like sparring scorpions, growling and hissing, before the surprisingly strong Persian pounced again and knocked the dog on to his back.
A few metres away Baldy crept out from under the podium and was just wondering whether to assist his mistress when Scamp sprang up and gave a low growl. The cowardly minion immediately thought better of it and shot back into his hiding place.
Lady Fluffkins and Rocket fought like cat and dog, rolling around in a cloud of red dust with paws swiping and fur flying. The cat was smaller than the dog, but twice as fast and with sharper claws. However, when the dust finally settled, Rocket was standing over the hissing, spitting ball of white fur. The dog was exhausted, but he managed to hold the villain down.
‘Your war against Earth is over, Fluffkins!’ Rocket panted. ‘I’m taking you back to the Dogstar, where you will be held in a maximum-security cat basket.’
‘You really think you can catch me so easily, you foolish fleabag?’ sneered the empress, smiling wickedly. ‘I believe your dumb doggy brain has forgotten someone.’
Rocket looked around and then frowned at a cowering, hairless servant who was peeping out from beneath the stage.
‘Not him!’ scoffed the Persian, and glanced up at the sky. ‘Them!’
Rocket and Scamp were suddenly aware that it was growing very dark, as though a black cloud was passing overhead. And when they looked up, the sky was filled with hundreds of parachuting ginger cats, all diving in their direction.
‘Uh-oh!’ said Rocket and Scamp together.
Just then the pair spotted the Dogstar flying low, slipping in under the cloud of cats and skimming the ground ahead of them with its cargo doors still open. Rocket immediately grabbed Lady Fluffkins by the scruff of the neck and the two dogs bounded after the ship.
laughed the Persian, bouncing up and down below the dog’s jaws.
Rocket growled through gritted teeth.
‘I was just thinking that you can’t possibly get me and the pup aboard that rust bucket,’ she chuckled, as the first dozen tabbies thudded to the ground behind them. The cats cut their parachutes loose and quickly gave chase. ‘You’ll notice he’s already falling behind.’
Rocket glanced to the side and could see that Scamp was tiring, and the rapidly growing tide of tiny tigers was gaining on him. Fluffkins was right – he couldn’t save the pup and apprehend her.
The Dogstar had slowed to close the distance between them, but it was still too far away to jump. Rocket was exhausted from the fight, but knew he had to find the energy for one final push.
The captain of the Spacemutts had two choices. He could capture the evil empress and finally put an end to her evil war against planet Earth, or he could save one brave little puppy.
This decision was made in the blink of an eye.
Rocket immediately tossed Fluffkins over his head into the surging sea of ginger fur and snatched Scamp from the grasp of the ferocious felines, who had their claws out and were swiping at his tail. The dog then bounded with all his might towards the cargo hold, panting hard.
Poppy used all of her piloting skills to keep the Dogstar low and slow, and Butch appeared at the back of the ship, barking encouragement to his captain.
The ginger cats were a whisker away from pulling him down when Rocket found a final burst of energy and threw the pup to the safety of the ship, before jumping up after him. The Dogstar immediately closed its doors on the hissing cats and soared away.
As the Dogstar made its way back to Earth, Lady Fluffkins was stomping through a sea of ginger cats, angrily flicking red dust from her fur. The tabbies backed away as their empress made her way back to the clockwork Mouseship. Before boarding, the Persian surveyed the ruined saucers scattered across the Martian landscape. The debris of broken china made Mars look like a winter wonderland.
‘Clear this lot up!’ she spat. ‘I want this planet spotless!’
Then Fluffkins leaped inside her craft.
The terrified tabbies immediately spread out and began sweeping up the mess. It would take years to gather up every piece of china, and they knew this was their punishment for failure.
Baldy quickly gathered up the satin cushions and hurried after his mistress. The hairless servant immediately took the controls of the Mouseship and set a course back to the Catnip Nebula, while Lady Fluffkins sat seething in her throne. The empress said nothing for the entire journey home, and when they eventually arrived Baldy waited nervously.
‘I will get that little blue planet one day,’ she hissed. ‘And those mangy dogs too!’ she added, flicking out the claws on all four paws. ‘But in the meantime . . .’
Baldy quickly crouched down because he knew what was coming.
‘YAAOOOOWWW!’ screeched Lady Fluffkins, leaping from her throne and landing on a giant scratch post at the centre of her ship. The Persian was a blur of white fur and claws as she attacked the tatty column, swiping and slashing and yowling with rage.
The Solo Mission
Back on Earth, the dogs returned to their kennels in time for the morning rounds and before the first visitors of the day. Rocket, Poppy and Butch settled down on their blankets to rest, while Scamp paced up and down the bars. The beagle pup was tired too, but he had something on his mind.
‘They’ll be coming back again today,’ said Poppy. ‘And this time they’ll take you home with them.’
‘Who?’ asked Scamp.
‘The family that came to see you yesterday,’ Poppy said, smiling.
‘How do you know?’ Scamp frowned.
‘When you’ve been here as long as we have, you can tell,’ said Poppy.
added Butch.
‘They did seem very nice,’ said Scamp. ‘So maybe they’ll take you three as well, if you behave yourselves when they come back. Then we could all live together!’
said Rocket.
‘Lady Fluffkins will be plotting another invasion, and the Spacemutts are Earth’s only defence against the feline forces.’
‘Then I’ll stay too,’ said Scamp. ‘I’ll nip the family’s ankles when they come back. Then they won’t want me any more and I can join the Spacemutts for good!’
‘No,’ Rocket said firmly. ‘We need your eyes and ears out in the world, watching the Earth cats to make sure they’re not planning an uprising of their own.’
‘How?’ asked the pup.
‘If you see a cat in the garden, chase it out!’ said Rocket. ‘Even if it’s just perched on a wall – bark at it! Let them know we’re always watching.’
‘But you’ll be a dog down if I leave!’ said Scamp.
‘Your kennel won’t be empty for long and we will train up another new recruit,’ said Rocket. ‘But we will always remember the brave young pup who took down the Martian moggies.’
Poppy and Butch nodded i
n agreement.
‘Proud to serve the Spacemutts!’ said Scamp, and gave a paw salute.
A familiar scent filled Rocket’s nose and when the door suddenly opened, he started barking as loudly as he could. Poppy quickly jumped up and chased her tail in rapid circles, yapping like a mad thing. And Butch howled, growled and dribbled on the floor.
The family hurried past the three noisy dogs and crouched down when the warden opened Scamp’s kennel. The little dog ran to them, wagging his tail and licking their happy faces. He couldn’t wait to join his new family and was very keen to begin his solo mission.
As Scamp was led away the three dogs winked, and the pup gave a farewell ‘YAP!’ to his friends.
When the warden closed the door, the kennels fell silent again and the three dogs returned to their blankets to sleep, and to dream about the day they would defeat Lady Fluffkins once and for all. Then the Spacemutts could stop growling and tail-chasing and barking, and find happy family homes of their own.
Fluffy Assassins from Mars! Page 2
