Close enough to be uncomfortable, though it fell far short of describing the true agony of being caught between the demands of his wolf and his conscience as a man. Instinct wanted to soothe the girls, to give them whatever they required to reassure them they were safe. Decency made him recoil at the idea of taking a traumatized young woman to his bed. And young they were, some of them sixteen or seventeen, too young for bedding, and far too young to be bartering with their bodies.
Given his choice, he’d bring Edwin Lancaster back from the dead and kill him again.
Victor dragged his temper under control with several steady breaths. “I think about what could make a sixteen-year-old girl ready to give herself to a stranger. I think about what pain, what neglect and abuse must have broken their spirits. I even think about the ones like Rose, who are older and quieter but flinch if you move too quickly, and I wonder how any of us can do right by you. How any damn thing we do won’t be wrong somehow.”
“So it’s better to play games with us.” Her eyes flashed. “Better to lie.”
She was infuriating. “Lie? About what?”
“About the way you felt.” She folded her arms around her body. “You lied every time you turned your back on me, and it hurt, Victor. Even if you had the best of intentions.”
“When I turned my back on you, it wasn’t a lie. And by the time it would have been one, I didn’t need to turn my back. You’d turned yours. I was too late.”
Instead of arguing, Simone bit her lip and sank to the bed, her shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry I brought it up. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
Defeat. She looked defeated, and it wiped away his frustration and anger, leaving behind the soft ache of failure. He had failed her, even if he hadn’t meant to. “It matters to you.”
“No.” She breathed a soft noise of frustration. “You’ve explained your motivations, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect more.”
“Maybe not. But I never intended to hurt you.”
When she looked up, it was with painful vulnerability. “I should have lied. Told you that you didn’t have the power to hurt me.”
Victor had to go to her.
He moved slowly, and her vulnerable expression gave way to wariness as she shook her head. “I don’t need you to coddle me. It’s silly.”
She was wary, but she hadn’t pulled back. “I’m hoping you’ll coddle me a little bit, even if I don’t deserve it.”
After a moment, she unbent enough to favor him with a trembling smile. “You’re doing this to humor me, I know you are.”
“Then you don’t know nearly so much as you think.” He stopped just short of the bed and held out a hand. “I’m sorry, Simone.”
Her humor faded, and she slowly laid her hand in his. “So am I.”
She wanted him. It wasn’t a new realization, but it was a thousand times more dangerous now that they were trapped alone, naked, with the moon singing in their blood. By tomorrow morning he’d be climbing the walls, horny and riled and in desperate need of a good run.
Or a good ride. How tempting it was to just give in and let instinct take the blame.
Tempting, and unacceptable. So he lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Forgiven?”
Her gaze was soft and serious, and she answered in a wistful whisper. “Always.”
Her sweet acceptance soothed the harsh edges inside him enough that he felt safe settling next to her and looping one arm around her shoulders. “We’ve both had a long day. Perhaps this isn’t the time to be discussing serious issues.”
“Or it’s the very best time,” she mused quietly. “We can’t run away from anything.”
“And we’re too exhausted to be diplomatic?”
Simone laughed gently and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes I think trying to be diplomatic only gets us in trouble.”
He loved the feel of her curled trustingly against him. “Trying to talk gets me in trouble. This is more than I’ve said in a month.”
“That settles it.” A pretty blush colored her cheeks. “We’re truly opposites, in nearly every respect.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I like listening to you talk.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “We’re going to be all right, darling.”
“We’re both smart and resourceful. Of course we will be.”
“And they’re going to be all right without us.”
She barely hesitated. “If they can muddle through without the supplies, yes.”
It wouldn’t be easy, or they wouldn’t have taken the risk of meeting Slim in uncertain weather to begin with. “Seamus has done more with less in the past, and Joan seems plenty stubborn. They’ll make it.”
“Then we only have to worry about ourselves.” The back of her hand grazed his thigh through the blanket. “Tomorrow’s the full moon.”
That fast, he was rock-hard and aching with the need to touch her. “It is,” he agreed, and even to his own ears his voice sounded hoarse.
“Things happen,” Simone told him slowly, “and I need you to understand. To tell me it’s all right. Because I wouldn’t push you, Victor, not for anything, but tomorrow…” She swallowed hard.
The loss of control would be unforgivable—for him. But he couldn’t put the responsibility for his actions on her shoulders. He cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead, ignoring the way her sweet, clean scent called to him. “Whatever happens, we’ll manage. I’m not uninterested, it’s simply not the way I would choose to be with you. It’s less than you deserve.”
“That isn’t—” Her words melted into a growl, and she bit his jaw.
Jesus Christ. Her hair had dried in auburn tangles that knotted around his fingers as he fisted his hand in the disheveled mass. He dragged her mouth from his skin and nearly groaned at the sight of the smooth line of her throat, pale and vulnerable in the firelight. “It’s less than we both deserve. Believe me, Simone, if you end up underneath me, I’ll take you. I’ll take you so completely you’ll never forget the feel of my cock. And if you think I’ve been an asshole so far, you don’t want to see me fighting to convince my wolf that you don’t belong to me. This is not a game.”
Her eyes fluttered shut, ginger lashes coming to rest on her cheeks. “So you keep reminding me. Do you think I would make light of something like this?”
“No. But last time I hurt you by not telling you why I pushed you away. Unless you’ve changed your mind about possibly leaving in the spring…”
She tensed under his hands and opened her eyes. “Making that decision now, based on this attraction, would be horribly selfish of me. Then again, so is this, isn’t it?”
If it was, he was every bit as selfish. Arrogant ego whispered that he should stretch her out and show her just how good he could make it. Addict her to the pleasure of his touch, to the things he would do to her. With instinct riding her, they would wallow in animal need. He could almost taste her on his tongue already.
“Not selfish,” he whispered, struggling to banish an image of firelight on her naked breasts as her hips lifted desperately toward his mouth. “Human. But it can’t happen, not if we can help it.”
She exhaled, one single shaky breath. “How big is this island?”
“I’m not sure.” He loosened his fingers. “Large enough that there might be some game. Rabbits, at least. Maybe deer.”
“Then we can go hunting tomorrow.”
A different sort of chase. Safer, and necessary. “We can.”
Her tremulous smile steadied. “Ready to try the vegetable soup?”
“Past ready. I’m hungry enough to eat Guy’s cooking.”
She affected a shudder and rose. “I figured you’d eat your shoes before going that far.”
“They’d taste better.” And he’d make jokes about eating his shoes all night if it kept that beautiful smile of hers alive. “Anything I can do to help?”
She waved him away. “You must have a hundred other things to do if we’re going to be here for a whil
e.”
At least that many. Victor rose and stretched carefully, testing sore muscles. The hours spent resting as a wolf had accelerated his healing, which meant the bruises he’d earned getting them safely to shore would certainly be healed by morning. One look out the window, however, put to rest any ideas he’d had about braving the storm in search of more firewood. The wind battering the cabin walls showed no signs of abating and, even under the relative shelter of the trees, snow accumulated with impressive speed.
It would be a few days at least before Guy could risk taking his boat to the mainland. The island Victor and Simone had ended up on was just enough off the easiest course that rescuers from Breckenridge weren’t likely to find them without magic. A trip to Searsport, then, and a phone call to Slim, who would have returned to Boston by now. Guy would realize they’d left the morning of the storm, and then…
Magic might be their only hope of being found before spring. At least their wizard would be highly motivated. Not the most pleasant thought, but Victor pushed down jealousy and possessiveness in favor of practicality—and protectiveness. It didn’t matter who got the job done, as long as Simone was returned to safety. Whole. Happy.
His.
Victor’s fingers tightened on the window frame until the wood creaked under his punishing grip. Not his. And somehow he’d find a way to remember that.
Chapter Six
The sun passed its zenith and began to sink in the west. Simone and Victor had spent the morning and afternoon of the second day trying to prepare the small cabin for a stay of indeterminate length, but they’d ended up snapping and fighting more often than not, even after their tentative truce.
It had to be the pull of the moon in her blood. It left her with immediate, unthinking reactions that were more animal than human, and her wolf wasn’t comfortable with Victor’s. They shared a bond, but it didn’t hold the same ease she shared with the rest of the pack, all because they’d been too busy struggling not to give in to the greater intimacy they both desired. And uneasy wolves in their situation usually ended that wariness in one of two ways—sex or violence.
Fucking or fighting.
Victor hefted the rock he’d been using as a makeshift hammer and held out a hand. “Nail?”
She passed him one of the nails he’d pried from a chair. “Do you need another strip of wool?”
He stretched the fabric they’d salvaged from the wreck tight against the wall and nodded. “This is the least sheltered window.”
And they couldn’t spend all their time as wolves, especially her. When there was no moon, she could barely shift even if she had to. “How well-built is the other cabin?”
“It looked less sturdy than this one, but it did have a lean-to with firewood. Some of it might be drier than what we have here.”
Worth checking, though maybe not tonight. It wasn’t yet five, but the moon had already risen in the sky. If the gentle magic pulsing through her body felt like a flame, then Victor’s must have been like a wildfire. “We’ll have to stop soon.”
“I know.” He drove the nail through fabric, wood and wall with three swift blows, the hard muscles of his arm and shoulder straining against his shirt. “I can’t hold on much longer.”
Her first thought was to soothe him with her touch, but then she remembered that such a thing would only rile him further. “Do you mind if I get a head start?”
He shook his head, then thrust out a hand without looking at her. “Let me have the last few nails. I’ll finish this up.”
His control was clearly tenuous, and it made her feel better about running out on him. “I’ll stay close,” she promised, backing toward the door.
“No—” The rock hit the floor with a thump, his shoulders going tight. “Change in here. Please.”
A growl escaped before she could stop it. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“You’re vulnerable while you’re trying to change. If you’re not staying in here, I’m going out there.”
She was more vulnerable near him, and if he hadn’t figured that out… “Fine.” Two buttons popped off her shirt as she tore it open, and she balled up the fabric and threw it at his head. “I’ll do it right here.”
The metallic sharpness of fresh blood filled the air. Victor opened his fist and the bent nails clattered to the floor. He drew in a deep, shuddering breath and let it out on a growl.
Then he moved.
His bleeding hand slapped against the door beside her head. Wild, heady power filled the cabin, more and more, until the walls seemed too flimsy to contain it. He lowered his mouth to hover over hers, stealing her breath and giving her his own. “You’ll do it right here.” A quiet whisper.
Another command.
This close, this intense, and still he held his body carefully away from hers. Make me. When she tried to say it, her tongue refused to move.
He smiled and licked the corner of her mouth, and she gasped as pleasure tingled through her. “So much fire in you, Simone. Even when you hold your tongue it burns in your eyes.”
Sheer frustration drove her answer. “You don’t know how hot I burn.”
“Not nearly as hot as I could make you.” The hand not against the door landed on her side, fingers warm against her skin. “Would you like that? If I slipped my fingers between your legs and showed you how to melt?”
Simone choked on a moan and scrambled to open her pants. “Touch me, Victor. Feel me.”
He snarled and caught both of her hands, jerking them away from her body. For a moment she thought he intended to pull away, to leave her, but instead he guided her arms up, pressing her wrists against the door on either side of her head. “No going back,” he whispered hoarsely. “Still want me to touch you?”
“Silly man.” The truth was terrifying, and she gave it to him anyway. “Whether you take me or not, I’m yours. I belong to you.”
All of the tension drained out of him in the space of a heartbeat. Victor pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “We’ll change. Run. I don’t want to be distracted trying to ignore the moon’s call, because what I plan to do to you will take hours.”
This close, she was loath to release him. “Kiss me, just once.”
“Not just once.” His lips curled into a smile before he pressed them to hers. Warm. Gentle, but unyielding.
Heaven.
Simone opened her mouth, straining toward him in absolute, utter need. Different this time, because she felt something new, something she’d only glimpsed in him before.
Possession.
He took his time kissing her, as if every moment before had been stolen and now he knew he could explore her at his leisure. His tongue swept along her lips, teasing one moment and strong the next, learning every inch of her.
She didn’t realize she’d tried to move her hands until his fingers closed tight around her wrists. She bit his lower lip, a giddy sort of joy bubbling up inside her.
His chest vibrated against hers, a low growl she felt more than heard. He tugged away only to close his teeth on the edge of her jaw. “Accept me, sweetheart. Let me in, and I can help the change go easier. I have power to spare.”
It burned inside him, a warm glow that drew other wolves like moths to a flame. “That isn’t why. You know that, right?”
“Why what, honey? Why you want me?”
“Yes.” She felt suddenly shy.
He smiled slowly, and it lit up his usually severe face. “I’m starting to believe that.”
Her chest ached, this time with the words and promises she had to hold back. “Run with me. And tonight…”
“And tonight.” He kissed her once more, then stepped back and closed his eyes. “Tell me when you’re ready. I’ll help you change.”
Her pants hung open around her hips, and she pushed them to the floor with shaking hands. “I’m ready.”
Soft power curled around her like a comforting blanket. It whispered to her wolf, coaxing her to life, and the readin
ess with which she responded surprised Simone. She barely had time to kneel before the spark of magic in her flamed and grew, bringing the change in a rush of heat and power.
In what seemed like moments, she stood on four legs, pawing impatiently at the floor. When he joined her, they could run, hunt.
Strong fingers stroked her head and the fur at the back of her neck, and Victor chuckled as he reached for the door. “Run. I’ll catch you.”
He didn’t have to tell her again. Wherever she ran, he’d find her, sniff out her scent and chase her down. She almost lost her footing at the thought, then launched herself past the tree line and into the woods beyond the small clearing.
Almost immediately, gentle rustling and the scent of rabbit perked up her ears. She could stage a chase of her own, procure a gift for her future mate.
And then they’d hunt together, make this tiny island their own as the full moon strengthened in the darkening sky.
Victor ran them both hard.
Part of it was the need to explore the boundaries of their new home. The island was large enough to support animals and a dense forest—good news for them in case they ended up having to stay until spring. The thick layer of snow on the ground made running a challenge, but it also made tracking fresh game laughably easy.
They hunted under the full moon until Simone’s energy began to flag. She was a beautiful wolf, small and graceful and full of boundless enthusiasm. Satisfaction flooded him every time he looked at her, every time she came close and licked his chin or butted her nose against his jaw.
She was his, and she knew it.
Shifting back to his human form too soon would leave him feral and edgy, but staying a wolf too long would exhaust her. After a few hours, Victor began to herd her back in the direction of the cabin, willing to deal with his own discomfort to spare hers.
She caught on, but stopped short with a yip, and he had to nudge her on before she moved again. She paused again as soon as they cleared the trees by the cabin, watching him carefully.
He huffed and nipped at her flank, and she danced away and bounded to the door. He’d propped it open before shifting, so she had only to push it wide and run inside.
Undertow: Building Sanctuary, Book Two Page 6
