by E. L. Todd
The Doctor
Doctor #1
E. L. Todd
Hartwick Publishing
The Doctor
Copyright © 2019 by E. L. Todd
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Prologue
1. Pepper
2. Pepper
3. Pepper
4. Colton
5. Pepper
6. Pepper
7. Colton
8. Pepper
9. Colton
10. Pepper
11. Colton
12. Pepper
13. Pepper
14. Pepper
15. Colton
16. Pepper
17. Colton
18. Pepper
19. Colton
20. Colton
21. Pepper
Also by E. L. Todd
Prologue
Pepper
There were two options.
I could refuse to cooperate, throw a tantrum, and kick and scream the entire way. With a broken heart and a delirious mind, it’s what I favored in that moment. I didn’t want to be reasonable or understanding. I wanted to sit behind my desk at the shop and never leave.
Colton’s message popped up on the screen. Babe, are you coming?
Babe. He’d called me that every day for the last five years. Now that sweet endearment would disappear for good. When enough time passed, I might forget about that nickname altogether.
But I didn’t want to.
Pepper?
I looked out the window to the darkness outside. A storm of clouds covered the sky, and raindrops pelted against the window, streaking down until they ran into the flowerpots outside on the concrete. The sound was comforting because it was loud enough to drown out my labored breathing.
Colton texted me again. I hate this too… You have no idea.
I wanted to hurl my phone at the wall and watch it smash. He had the audacity to say that? He hated this?
I hated it more.
I was the one who’d lost everything.
I stared at the wet windows a little longer, and that’s when the second option came into my head.
I could walk in there with my head held high, my shoulders back, and finish this with the last bit of strength I had. Kicking and screaming wouldn’t change what was about to happen. It couldn’t erase the past. The only thing I had control over now was me. Maybe I had every right to stare at the rain and ignore him.
But that wasn’t the option I wanted to take.
I texted him back. I’m coming.
I stepped inside the law firm and was ushered into the office where our attorney was waiting for us. My waterproof jacket had beads of water rolling down the material and onto the floor. My shoes squeaked against the tile with every step I took, audibly reminding me this was completely real.
Not a nightmare.
John sat behind his desk, the paperwork laid across the surface along with two fancy pens. All he needed were a few signatures, and that would end everything.
End my marriage.
Colton rose to his feet when I stepped inside. Concern was heavy in his body movements, and when he made eye contact with me, I was relieved to see the same pain I felt mirrored in his eyes. It wasn’t pity just for me.
It was his own heartbreak.
He stilled in front of me, a moment of awkwardness because he didn’t know how he should greet me. His arms rose impulsively, his instinct to hug me like he always did. Maybe the look on my face changed his mind, because he lowered his hands to his sides then sat down again.
I pulled my hood off the back of my head and sat down, indifferent to my soaking wet clothes and the water dripping all over the floor.
John didn’t complain. He pushed the two sets of papers closer toward us. “Just a few signatures and we’re done. Painless.”
Because the painful part had already been completed. We’d divided our assets so we could walk away with equal shares of our wealth. We hadn’t bought a house, so dividing our bank account in two was pretty simple. While that procedure was excruciating, this was worse. It was somehow worse than when I packed up my things and moved out of my own home.
Because this was final.
Colton, the love of my life, was no longer my husband.
He was my ex-husband.
I thought of my two options again, how I wanted to handle this particular moment. Bursting into tears was my natural reaction, but that would only make me weak. More importantly, it wouldn’t change anything.
Colton didn’t grab the pen first, as if that would be insensitive.
I took an extra breath before I picked up the thick ballpoint pen and added my signature. I scribbled it at the bottom, writing my married name for the last time. I added my signature to the rest of the sheets before I pushed them toward Colton.
He didn’t take the pen right away. Instead, he stared at me, a thin film of moisture in his eyes. Signing our divorce papers seemed just as hard for him as it did for me, even though he wanted this to happen.
Even though he was the one who left me.
He sighed quietly before he grabbed the pen and added his signature.
It was done.
We were over.
Officially over.
We sat in the back seat of the taxi as we headed back to our apartment building. The rain was coming down hard in the darkness, and the windshield wipers were working furiously to throw the rain off the window. Downtown Seattle was lit up beautifully by the lights from the buildings, and the rain only added to its charm.
But right now, I was immune to it.
Colton glanced at me from time to time, looking for tears on my cheeks.
I’d cried enough. I couldn’t do it anymore.
The ten-minute drive was spent in silence. The two of us could make a conversation out of thin air. We were so close, had a connection so deep, and it was strange that we didn’t feel it now.
Colton reached his hand across the seat and grabbed mine. He squeezed it three times, telling me how he felt without actually saying the words.
I didn’t pull my hand away. I waited a long time before I reciprocated.
I squeezed him back.
The cab arrived at the building, and we stepped out of the rain and into the lobby. We ditched the elevator and took the stairs to the third floor, where our apartments now sat across from each other. When Colton had first told me the truth, I was in shock. The apartment across the hall happened to open up that afternoon, and since apartments were nearly impossible to find in Seattle, I just took it.
Now I lived across the hall from him.
Probably not the best idea.
Colton walked me to my door, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. With blond hair and blue eyes, he was a beautiful man. With his strong physique, nice cheekbones, and shoulders that made every woman swoon, he was absolutely perfect. But his physical attributes didn’t compare to what was underneath.
That heart of gold.
His eyes lingered on the floor before they rose to meet mine. Several seconds passed before the moisture developed in his eyes, the heartbreak that rivaled my own. He took a deep breath as he stared at me, his nostrils flaring slightly. “I’m so sorry…”
It was impossible to be angry at him, even though I had every right to be. But I loved this man so deeply that I didn’t feel an ounce of rage. “I know.” I knew this killed him. Every time I broke down in tears, he did the same. He hated himself for hurting me, and he hated himself for losing me too. Befo
re I knew it, the tears started to sting my eyes too.
Colton cupped my face with both of his hands and pressed his forehead against mine. His fingers pressed lightly into my skin, his touch warm and soft. He closed his eyes and breathed with me, holding me like nothing had changed. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t live without you, Pepper. I just can’t. You’re my best friend. You’re everything to me.” He kissed my forehead and rested his lips there, tears streaking down his cheeks.
“I know…” Now the tears came full force, streaming down my face like two rivers.
He pulled his lips away so he could look at me, unashamed of the emotion he put on display. “I know we should spend some time apart. But after that…I want you in my life. I don’t want that to change. I know we won’t be spending the rest of our lives together…but I still want you there every step of the way.”
I was still in love with him. I could feel it in my heart every time I looked at him. When we were this close together, my breathing came out uneven because I couldn’t forget the way his lips felt against mine. My marriage had been perfect because I was married to the perfect guy. I never wanted it to end. I needed to get over him, but the idea of losing him from my life forever wasn’t an option. He was too important to me. “You know I can’t live without you, Colton.”
He gave me a smile, but it was filled with so much heartbreak, it simply looked sad.
“Give me some time. I’m still…” I didn’t want to say the words out loud, but since he already knew how I felt, it seemed pointless to hide it. “So in love with you.”
His eyes watered even more. “I loved being married to you, Pepper. I really did.”
“I know…”
“I wish…I didn’t feel this way. I tried to fight it so many times—”
“Don’t.” I didn’t want to go through this again. I didn’t want him to feel guilty either. “It’s okay, Colton. Even if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change anything. I would still do it all over again…even if I knew it was gonna end like this.”
He closed his eyes for a brief moment. More tears fell. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do. We deserve each other.” I grabbed both of his hands with mine. “We’re both going to marry other people…but that doesn’t mean we won’t spend the rest of our lives together.”
He brought my hands to his lips and kissed each one. “I’ll make sure the next guy is good enough for you. Not that I believe there’s any guy out there good enough for you.” He brought my hands to his chest and placed them over his heart, right where I could feel his steady pulse.
Even now, I saw how much he loved me, how much he hated making me suffer. He was still the same man I fell in love with, a man who was kind, compassionate, and loving. I should have known he was too good to be true. “I find it hard to believe there’s a man good enough for you too. But I’m sure we’ll both find them…in time.”
1
Pepper
Six Months Later
I slipped on my heels then walked across the hall. My bag was over my shoulder and I was running behind, but I needed to make a pit stop before I headed to the shop and opened the doors.
Colton was standing in the kitchen with his open tie hanging down his chest. In a white collared shirt with black slacks, he was almost ready for work but not quite. He held a hot pan over the stove, and once he finished his scrambled eggs, he poured them onto a plate. “You’re running late.”
“I could say the same to you.” I went to the counter near the door and sorted through the mail. My stuff still ended up here since I hadn’t changed my last name. The fact that I lived across the hall didn’t make it any easier for the mailman to figure out where to put my stuff. I found the banking paperwork I needed for my shop and slipped it into my purse.
“Do I look like a post office to you?” He carried the plate and silverware to the table, where his hot coffee and newspaper sat. A teasing tone was in his voice, but he was also grumpy because he’d never been a morning person. Thankfully, he worked his own hours at the firm. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be employed.
“No.” I took the seat beside him and shoveled half of his food onto my plate. “You look like a diner.”
As if he wasn’t the least bit surprised, he drank his coffee and looked at the newspaper.
I sorted through the rest of my mail to make sure there wasn’t anything else important. Most of it was junk. There were a few bills too, but I would still classify those as junk. I ate the scrambled eggs then looked through my emails to see if one of my shipments was coming in. It seemed like it was going to be delivered today by noon. “How’s work going?”
“You know, blah, blah.”
“Blah, blah?” I asked, finishing my plate until it was just as clean as it was when it came out of the dishwasher.
“Yeah.” He turned the page of his newspaper. “Sums it up.”
I got the impression Colton didn’t like his new law firm, but he never came right out and actually said it. He’d always been an outgoing guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, but it never seemed like practicing law resonated with him. He’d been pressured by his father, and now he was stuck in a career he didn’t really care about. “What’s new with you?”
“The girls are going out tonight. You guys wanna join?”
“Depends.” He shut the newspaper and then worked his tie with his fingers. “Where are you guys going?”
“This new sports bar called Hopkins. It opened up near the market.”
“Not a fan of sports bars. The food is garbage, and the beer is watered down.”
“But you know who goes to sports bars?” I teased. “Fit men.”
He finally got his tie together, but it was a sloppy job. “Spoiler alert, babe. Only straight men go to sports bars. Not much for me there.” He abandoned his dishes on the table when he stood up and grabbed his coat from the rack.
He used to leave his dishes everywhere when we were married, but now that we were just friends, I ignored his bad habits. It wasn’t my problem anymore. Now I also left my dishes behind so he would have to deal with them later.
Payback.
“So, are you coming or not?” I left the table and walked up to him with my mail tucked under my arm. His tie was sloppy, and normally he cared about his appearance to a meticulous level. It was only more evidence that he didn’t care about his job. I undid the silk fabric and started over, making sure it was tight and crisp. I flattened my hand and smoothed out the material against his chest.
“Obviously. I’m not gonna pass up booze and friends.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Alright. See you tonight.” He grabbed his satchel from the rack and pulled it over his shoulder. He opened the door and prepared to walk out.
“Eh-hem.”
It took him a second to turn back and look at me, as if he knew exactly what I was gonna say based on my tone. His face was visibly tense, prepared to hear something he didn’t want to listen to.
“It’s been six months, Colton.”
He held my gaze but didn’t suppress his irritation.
“You need to tell them.” We’d been playing house for the last six months, showing up to family dinners and putting on a show for his parents. For the first month, it was fine because Colton needed some time to prepare himself. But now, I suspected he was dragging it out as long as possible. If I never pushed him, he would pretend we were married forever.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll do it soon…”
“Soon? As in when?”
“Soon.” He turned around and walked off, his shoulders tense from the provocative conversation.
I watched him walk away without calling him back. His parents adored me, so telling them we’d been divorced for six months would break their hearts. On top of that, he would have to explain why our marriage didn’t work out.
I knew that was the part he was dreading the most.
Stella held up a one-piece ensemble w
ith an open crotch, the black lace leaving very little to the imagination. She held it up to herself and turned to the mirror, imagining how it would look on her bare skin. “You think this would look good on me?” She fluffed her hair, like that would miraculously make her look more gorgeous. She was a personal trainer, someone in high demand, and she had the kind of figure fit models possessed.
I sorted through the shipment that had arrived and hardly looked at her. “Everything in this store would look good on you.”
She fished for the price tag and nearly gagged. “Who spends a hundred and fifty bucks to get laid?”
“A lot of people.” Well, except me. It’d been a long time since I’d worn lingerie. The last time I did was for Colton, and now I felt stupid because I had been trying to impress a gay man.
“But who can afford this?”
“You’d be surprised…” A large number of my clients were women with rich husbands. They didn’t have anything else to do, so they came in here for a shopping spree. I also had a lot of bridal parties come in here for lingerie parties. They all bought the bride-to-be something special for her wedding night.
“I need to find a man who can buy me this stuff. No way in hell I’m paying that price.” She returned it to the rack then gave me a guilty smile. “No offense.”
“None taken,” I said with a chuckle. “It’s all higher-end stuff, designer quality shipped from France and Italy. You do get what you pay for.” I believed in my products. I didn’t buy mundane pieces and then jack up the price for profit. Maybe to other people I just sold sex clothes, but I really enjoyed what I did. I put women in the right bras, and I helped them overcome their self-esteem issues when they purchased lingerie. Some of them were too nervous to go for it, but I convinced them their man would love it.
