by Lynda Aicher
“And that’s bad?” Dani teased, or at least Kennedy thought she was teasing.
“Not in itself.”
“So…?”
“I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Oh.”
Yeah, oh. Sex was something to be enjoyed, not analyzed. Repeatedly. Until her panties were wet and nipples hard.
“So…maybe you should have it again?”
“Sex? Definitely,” she snarked, switching the air conditioning up a notch.
“With that guy.”
Dani’s flat delivery blocked her attempted dodge. She heaved a sigh but kept it silent. It didn’t help that her friend doubled down on her grilling by staying quiet. And there was a lesson in the art of drawing out the truth.
“I can’t,” Kennedy finally huffed. “I didn’t get his information.” On his insistence. Which was good, knowing what she did now. “And I don’t think a repeat would help my situation.”
“And what situation is that?”
“I’m horny as hell.” Maybe she should’ve swung by her condo and gotten herself off before heading to the office. She’d turn the car back now if she thought a round of masturbation would help.
Dani’s laugh rolled through the car. “Poor you.” Her false sympathy got the smile her friend was probably going for.
Kennedy checked the time, winced. “Am I keeping you from something?”
“I have a meeting in ten.” Their mutual VP titles meant they each worked too much, both to get where they were and to stay there. Phone calls and texts had become their main touch point despite living just miles from each other.
“I’ll let you go.”
“I’ve got a few minutes,” Dani said. “What was different about last night?”
The straight shot should’ve been expected, yet it still caught her by surprise. Her mind flashed to being pressed against the window, breaths short, a finger rammed up her ass. I could fuck you here.
She would’ve let him fuck her any way he wanted. She had.
She cleared her throat, squeezing her legs together. The ache in her pussy intensified, but worse than that was the want that sang within her. She wanted that freedom again when she couldn’t have it.
Once had been too much—too dangerous.
Losing control was one thing. Giving it up was completely different.
“Hey,” she said instead of answering. “I actually have to go. But thank you for listening.”
“Kennedy.”
The reprimand in Dani’s voice stalled her from disconnecting. She fisted her hand in her lap, annoyed at herself for even calling. “What?” She laced the word with innocence.
“Do what you need to do to get over whatever’s hanging you up,” Dani advised. “Take your power back. Do your thing in the Boardroom.”
Do your thing in the Boardroom. Of course. She sagged into the seat, the obvious smacking her in the face. Why hadn’t she thought of that? “Thanks, Dani.”
“Anytime.”
She ended the call after a round of goodbyes, her thoughts flying through her options and schedule in tandem. Relief filled her now that she had a plan, or was it a mission? She’d given her power to one man, and he’d managed to strip her of something else.
Thankfully, she had the ability to change that.
Dani had introduced her to the Boardroom not long after she’d become a member herself. The exclusive sex group was every man’s desire and woman’s fantasy. Anything was possible, within reason, if someone else was interested. It provided freedom for the sexually open—or deviant—under the insurance of privacy.
She’d once joked that the group had been made for her. It fit her so perfectly. She thanked her friend every time she utilized it without backlash or recriminations of any kind from anyone.
Sex without ties or accusations. Public sex.
That revved her up like few other things did, and she had Dani to thank for that too. The brazen confidence required to not only flaunt her sexuality, but revel in it in front of others, had bled into every facet of her life.
Dani had shared that power with Kennedy when she’d been a sweet little sixteen-year-old. Maybe the sweet part had been nothing more than a front she’d worn in deference to her parents, because it hadn’t taken much to shatter it. A few nights. That was it.
Nights among Dani’s crowd of influential teen socialites spent executing dares to stave off the boredom, and she’d never turned back. Never questioned how one of those dares had ended with her spread on an obnoxiously long dining table, masturbating, while getting high on the lust-filled looks around her.
She cleared her throat, reached for her water bottle only to curse its absence. She’d managed to progress halfway to the next exit during her conversation with Dani. At this rate, she’d be lucky to make it to the office in time for her meeting with her father. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but time was ticking, and she’d already wasted too much of it.
A couple of forced maneuvers across lanes crawling at a snail’s pace took longer than the length of her patience. Her hallelujah shook the interior when she reached the exit ramp. If luck stayed with her, she’d hit the office in time to snag the production manager before he took his lunch break.
A smile broke over her face as her sense of purpose returned. No way was she letting one man break her stride. Mystery Man Matt had turned out to be a fantastic lesson on what she should never do again.
And if nothing else, she was a very quick learner.
Chapter Eight
“Yes!” Matt jumped to his feet, his cheer blending with the crowd around him. “Go, Beach!”
His grin was huge as he watched his daughter charge the court to celebrate with her volleyball teammates. As a freshman at CSU Long Beach, she still rode the bench like she’d expected when she’d accepted the scholarship. But that hadn’t diminished her joy for both the sport and the team she was a part of.
As for Matt, he was just relieved that Dawn had locked into an activity that’d given her structure and a support system that’d propelled her from junior high to college. Now if only his son could find the same…
He filed out of the stadium with the rest of the spectators to wait for her. A part of him couldn’t believe she’d grown up. In his mind, she was still that scared little girl he’d scooped up from social services. The sucker punch still hit him whenever he thought back to that day.
Of traveling for twenty hours with no sleep, weighed down with a shit-ton of guilt and anxiety strapped to his back. Only to find his kids—his two small children—huddled together in the corner of a stranger’s home, tears streaking their cheeks, betrayal radiating from their eyes.
He scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to shake off the memory even though it was securely lodged in his long-term storage bank. For years, he hadn’t wanted it to fade. He’d seen it as his due penance for being so blind to what had been going on in his own home. Now, it only cropped up when his guilt pulled it forward.
The reminder of exactly how dangerous the dominant path could be had been enough to end any wayward desires he’d had—until the other night. Now that old guilt-inducing memory appeared to be making friends with his newest, the one of Kennedy’s lust-filled gaze staring back at him as he slammed into her.
His dick twitched, that empty ache charging forward to taunt him with wants he couldn’t acknowledge.
Only he had. With her.
“Dad!”
He spun around, arms spread to catch his daughter up in a hug. “Hey, Sunshine. You guys did great.”
She pulled free, her eye roll so familiar it was actually endearing in that moment. “The team did, yes. Me…” She wiggled her hand in a so-so motion.
“Nah,” he contradicted. “Don’t cut yourself down.”
“I’m not.” She shrugged. “I’m just being honest. You taught me that.” Her side-eye contained just enough snark to have him chuckling.
“I believe I also taught you that being a smartass woul
d get you into trouble.” He hauled her into a side hug before she could object, her laughter making his grueling week worth it.
She rolled out of his hold, dancing back. Her hair bounced in her customary pony tail, her wide grin infectious. “Only if I get caught,” she taunted, laughing at his fake scowl.
“It’s a good thing you’re too old to ground,” he grumbled.
“Ha!” She tucked her hands into her hoodie pocket, head tilting as she studied him. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” He bolstered his automatic response with a smile. Her narrowed eyes said she didn’t believe him. “And you? How are classes? Did you get that test sorted out in biology?”
“Ugh!” Her head dropped back in an exaggerated display of youthful annoyance that’d once driven him nuts, but he now treasured. She was growing up so fast in so many ways.
He listened to her ramble for the next hour, shifting from one topic to the next as they sat on a bench outside the stadium. The campus was quiet at night, but the lighted paths chased away the darkness. He’d liked the vibe when they’d toured it last year, and he was relieved to know Dawn was enjoying the school.
He gave his watch a quick glance, regretting it and his wince when she cut off her sentence.
“You have to go.” Her statement didn’t need a response. They’d only managed to have dinner together once that week despite being a few short miles from each other. Her being in Long Beach had been an added motivation for him to attend the convention.
“You’re still coming home for Thanksgiving, right?” he asked instead of answering.
Her scowl communicated her thoughts on his question. “Of course.”
That guarantee was only good for a limited time, though. Soon she’d have other places to be and her own life to live. “Good. Your grandmother would be disappointed if you didn’t.”
“Just grandma?”
He nudged her. “Ben too.”
Her bark of laughter came out bright and doubtful. “Sure.” She sobered. “How’s he doing?”
A cloud of worry swooped in to dampen the moment. “Good, as far as I know.” The conversation level of a sixteen-year-old boy tended to consist of grunts and forced one-word responses.
Dawn frowned, concern showing. He sat up. “What?” he asked, insistence leveled in his tone.
She stared at the ground, shoulders rolling forward. “Nothing.”
“Dawn.” His mother had used the exact same warning tone in his name, the one that said don’t push me or you’ll not like my response. He’d hated it as a kid but valued the effectiveness as a parent.
She jerked around, her scowl hard. “Nothing,” she insisted. “He’s just…” She squirmed. “I don’t know.” Defeat sagged through her. “Quiet.” She gave him a side-glance. “He barely responds to my texts anymore. I know we’re both busy, and I don’t reach out as much as I should, but…” She shrugged. “It makes me worry.”
“Ah, Sunshine.” He pulled her in, willing his embrace to be enough to cure her concern. “I love you.” He kissed the top of her head, damn amazed that he’d managed to raise a kid who still worried about her younger brother when her own life was filled with exciting distractions. “I haven’t noticed anything outside of the normal teen angst.”
But that didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t so old that he didn’t remember his own teenage years. Temptations were everywhere. Combine that with horny, still-developing bored brains and it didn’t take much to go down the wrong path. He’d had sports and his mother’s discipline to keep him steady when many of his childhood friends had toyed with drugs and gangs.
That constant nugget of worry twisted in his stomach as he sped down the path of possible trouble. There were no guarantees, though, no matter how invested he was or how much of himself he’d devoted to his kids.
Dawn leaned into him. “Okay.”
Her easy acceptance of his lame reassurance didn’t help his own concerns now that they’d been pinged. “We’re all looking forward to having you home for a week.” He reluctantly stood, checking the time again. “Do you have enough money?”
She stalled his hand as he reached for his wallet. “I’m fine, Dad.” She squeezed it. “But thanks.” Her grin returned. “I had this amazing teacher who hounded in the value of having a budget and sticking to it.” She flashed another quick wink that succeeded in getting a chuckle from him.
“Good.” His nod was supposed to be stern. Her laugh said he’d failed. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.”
He gave her a last hug before walking her to her dorm despite her insistence that she was fine on her own. His heart ached as he watched the door latch behind her. She sent a last wave to him through the window before heading back to her life.
Where had the time gone?
He cycled through answers during his late flight back to San Francisco and walked to his car. Time had a way of dragging through a day only to speed by during the month as routine blended everything together. And now he was a forty-one-year-old man rushing toward fifty on the same cycle of daily existence that’d gotten him through those first hard days and months after he’d reclaimed his kids. Twelve years had flown by in a blink.
He slammed his car door, savoring the echoing silence that followed. He took a moment to simply breathe in his own space. No one hounding him. No one waiting for him, expecting something, wanting more of his time, his thoughts, him. Just quiet.
And into the nothing wove the enticing image of Kennedy. That saucy smirk and directness countered by her beautiful submission that’d never become dependent. With it rose the addictive rush of power that’d laid its familiar tracks, reminding him of old needs he’d thought dead.
No, they were very much alive, especially now.
He tugged at the collar of his T-shirt, rolled his head to ease the tightness in his shoulders. A stale coffee scent permeated the air from the travel mug he’d left half full when he’d arrived at the airport days ago. Another late-night traveler trudged through the parking garage, taillights flashing on a car further down the row.
The normalcy grounded him. He had responsibilities to his kids, his mom, his company. He couldn’t get lured into the dark side of his needs. The ones that teased at the authority he’d learned to wield as an officer and the fulfillment that came from giving another what they craved.
He whipped his car into Reverse, focused on getting home. His responsibilities called and they started with touching base with his son. Ben was a little too much like him. A little too headstrong. A little too cocky.
A little too blind to the things he didn’t want to acknowledge.
The clench in his groin mocked him.
Screw that. He could fuck without the edge, get off without controlling every aspect. He’d managed fine for over a decade. He owed it to Ben to remember that. His personal needs were secondary to those of his kids.
The kitchen light was still on when he pulled into his driveway twenty minutes later. He was proud of the little semidetached house he’d slowly remodeled into a cozy home. It didn’t offer much in square footage, but the location in a good school district and kid-friendly area made it golden. Plus it was just down the street from his mother, who, even now, played a vital role in raising his kids.
He might have no idea who his father was, but he’d gotten damn lucky with his mother.
He found her curled up on the couch reading when he came in through the garage door. “Hey, Mom.”
Her smile still had the magical ability to hug him from a distance. “Matt.” She tucked a bookmark between the pages of her novel, stretching as she stood. “How was your trip? And Dawn? How’s she doing?”
With her hair studiously cut close to her scalp and her preference for efficiency over style in her clothes, she presented the same practical image he remembered from his childhood. Her hair might be grayer now and her middle a little rounder, but she still marched through life determined to kick it instead of
being kicked down.
“It was good.” He set his bags down, exhaustion swooping in. “And Dawn’s good. She sends her love.” He rubbed his eyes, covering a yawn. “I didn’t expect you to be here.” A frown crept in. “Is Ben okay? He’s here, right?”
She waved his concerns away with a flick of her wrist. “Everything’s fine. I just got lost in my book and then decided to wait.” Ben had outgrown the babysitter age years ago. It was Matt who hadn’t wanted him home alone the entire time he’d been gone. Ben had argued differently.
“Let me walk you home.” He held the front door open, snatching up her overnight bag from its spot on the floor. The brisk night air woke him up with the bite of cool fog that loved to creep off the Pacific and hang over their coastal city.
She tugged her sweater tighter around her and took off at her customary crisp pace that hadn’t slowed as she’d aged.
“Did Ben give you any trouble?” he asked.
“Nothing worse than you did at that age.”
Matt snorted, draping his arm over her shoulder to give her a squeeze. “That doesn’t reassure me.”
“Bah.” She wiggled out of his hold. “You turned out just fine.”
Thanks to her. As a young single mother, she could’ve fallen into any of the social traps and stereotypes of the time. Instead, she’d worked hard, skimped and bullied her way into a better life for both of them. She was a hard act to live up to, but she’d also been his inspiration when he’d landed back in town with two little kids and no idea what to do next.
The short walk down their quiet street brought back a slew of memories. He’d lived most of his life within this two-block radius. His only departure had been during his time in the service, and that had ended in dismal failure. He’d loved his job, had loved the military with its structure and chain of command.
He also blamed it for honing and tuning his desire for control.
“I could be better,” he mumbled.
His mother stopped, and he instantly regretted his moment of weakness. Her scowl was part annoyance, part concern. “Why would you say that?”
