That Yesterday

by Teal Haviland

  She was weary of this debate, but she needed to calm herself. Amaziah was Yahuwah's closest advisor and one of the only angels who could see Him whenever he needed to. He was her only real hope in being granted the task she sought.

  'Gabrielle, you would be in constant danger. The incident that just took place when you went to Earth with Phalen and the quickness in which the Fallen noticed you should have made that clear.'

  'I don't need to be reminded of the danger. I am quite aware of it,' she snapped, then took a deep breath. Amaziah's pulsing energy turned a deep crimson—a visual caution for her to be careful. There was no other angel she was as close to as Amaziah now that Javan was gone, no other she trusted and loved more, and she knew he felt the same. They were more than just brethren; they were much like a human father and daughter though angels don't have biological ties like humans. Regardless of their closeness, his patience with her and her moods had limits, and judging by the silent warning, she was pushing it. Gabrielle took a few more moments to get a grip on herself, then continued. 'That doesn't change anything. Would you please just ask Yahuwah again if He'll let me do this? Tell Him I am willing to take the risk.'

  'But He may not be willing to let you take the risk, Gabrielle. You are important to Him. You hold a lofty position, one difficult to fill. One that's too important to risk a new angel with no experience stepping into your role if something were to happen to you. The abilities and powers that go along with it can be ill-used if put in the wrong angel's control. You have gained a great amount of trust with our Lord, and every demon on Earth knows it. They will try to hurt you—kill you—if they have the chance, just to get a taste of revenge on Him for casting them out of Heaven.'

  'I could have dealt with what happened earlier even without Phalen.'

  'It might not always go so well for you, Gabrielle. Or for those with you. You are not invincible. For an angel who seems to be so wary of attention concerning her powers and abilities, you certainly seem to have every confidence of what you are capable of doing. There are those who have fallen who are powerful, and when gathered in force, they can be even more so. What will you do when faced with an opponent who is, at the least, as skilled as you?'

  'They were more powerful. I realize I don't know just how much it would have affected them, but those who were created, at least as powerful as me, would have lost a significant amount of that power in their fall. And I don't know what I will do when faced with an opponent who is a good match or better than me, Amaziah. I suppose I will do what I always have, use the gifts Yahuwah has bestowed on me. But we both know there are few demons I have to be concerned with. I'll see them coming. I can evade them and any threat they pose.'

  'But that won't help you against the spiritual attacks. You, alone. Against Darkness. Even you won't see it coming. And it will happen often, quietly, sneaking into the places in your mind that a human body will leave unprotected.'

  Gabrielle had no argument. She would not be able to protect herself as well from the dangers to her spiritually while incarnated. Amaziah waited for her to respond, but she took the opportunity to change the subject instead.

  'Speaking of the encounter with the Fallen, one of them assumed we were there to try and find a book—a book the demons are apparently seeking. Do you know what they were talking about?'

  His face clouded with a puzzled expression that she was sure was identical to the one she had when the demon spoke the words to her, only Amaziah seemed a bit more taken aback.

  'Amaziah, do you know what he was speaking of?’

  Amaziah snapped back to their conversation.

  'There are many powerful books, but I don't know of any still in existence that would benefit the Fallen enough to demand our attention.'

  Even as he said the words, Gabrielle could sense that wherever his thoughts had been, he was being pulled back there to search for an answer.

  Quiet lingered between them, and she remained still, both in form and communication. The best thing to do was wait. She wasn't sure what to say now, anyway. For the first time, though she didn't know why, she felt the argument was turning in her favor. Amaziah had never before relinquished on this subject, but she sensed his desire to fight what she wanted was waning.

  I wonder why?

  Something else was brought on by his silence. A feeling of dread washed over her. She shivered. Was the chill just an after effect of being so close to evil or some early foreboding? Something concerning the book? As the silence stretched, Gabrielle searched for a way to shake the dark feeling. It seemed to be taking root, though, making her want to go to Earth even more to find out what the demon was speaking of.

  She tried to remember anything she had heard about a book over the thousands of years of her life that may be of some concern. Something that Amaziah had not heard of. That wasn't likely. There didn't seem to be much he didn't know. Regardless, she didn't like the feeling that hung over her. Something was coming—something the Fallen knew and she didn't. And that was definitely troubling.

  There wasn't much she could do with so little information, but she could make a trip to the realm of the Shifters—to Corstorphine. She could find out if Grayson or any of his fellows had any information, and if they didn't, she could ask for their help in finding out more about it. She felt her heart warm as she thought of taking time out to see her old friend. It had been too long since their last meeting—far, far too long.

  Amaziah's voice pulled Gabrielle back from her thoughts. When she focused her attention on him again, she noted his color was back to normal. From the glow cast around her, she knew hers was, too.

  'Gabrielle, while you were on Earth, Yahuwah made the decision to allow you to live as a human if you still wanted to when you returned. It seems dealing with the danger you are bringing on yourself, first hand, has not changed your mind as I had hoped it would.'

  Amaziah paused, and again, Gabrielle remained silent, shocked to hear Amaziah's words. She never prepared herself if what she was asking for was granted. Now, she not only didn't know what to say, she wasn't sure how to act or feel. Part of her was thrilled but another part of her was concerned. Even if Amaziah didn't think she took the threat seriously, she did.

  'However, this is only being granted to you for six months. You will have to return to us and the safety of Heaven after that time has transpired, whether you have accomplished your goal or not. Do you understand?'

  Gabrielle took another long moment before she could answer him as thoughts of all she would learn and all the dangers she would face played in her mind.

  'Yes, Amaziah. I understand.' She found her thoughts immediately going to the young man in her visions and wondered if she would have enough time to find him. She hoped so. As much as she tried not to, she couldn't help but feel the desire to search him out.

  'Good. I'm surprised you don't seem happier about the news.'

  She pulled her mind away from the human, worried that she wasn't being careful enough to block her thoughts. 'Believe it or not, I am not happy about the need to do this at all. I have to, though, if I want to help regain the upper hand in this war. I admit I am looking forward to experiencing things I never would otherwise, but this decision is driven by concern and fear of what will happen if I don't go.'

  'Yes, I imagine it is. You have always carried a tremendous burden along with the position you hold. No other comes to mind who would have done as fine a job as you.'

  'Really?' Gabrielle couldn't help but laugh humorlessly at the accolade. 'I wonder. If I had done a better job to this point, there would be no need for me to live as a human.'

  'My dear Gabrielle, if you must doubt something about yourself, doubt your negative thoughts. Don't waste your energy on what doesn't deserve it. You have always been more critical of yourself than needed.'

  'Maybe . . . maybe not. I'd like to believe you are right, though,' Gabrielle responded, but so quietly she wondered if Amaziah heard her at all. In a normal tone, she continued. 'When
do I begin?'

  'Right away. The location has already been chosen. I can take you now.'

  'You're coming with me?'

  'Only to make sure you are safe, and I will be there if it is ever needed. You will have to have my Aegis Veil around you, as well as in your mind, at all times while in your human body. It will help protect you from detection but still allow for the most realistic sensations and emotions possible. It's the most powerful protection I can offer without being by your side myself. But it will dull your Divine discernment. You won't be able to easily spot the Fallen. So be even more cautious than usual.'

  Gabrielle was still having a difficult time believing this was finally happening. She was moments away from beginning her life in a human body—even if it was going to be brief.

  'Are you ready, Gabrielle?' Amaziah asked to get her attention. But what captured it more was the undertone of concern she was sure she heard with the words.

  'What? Oh . . . yes. I'm ready.' She realized he wasn't just asking her if she was ready to leave, he was asking if she was sure she was ready for all this task would ask of her.

  'Then let's get this over with, shall we?'

  Chapter Three

  Gabrielle ~ Incarnation

  As soon as Amaziah felt she was settled, he reluctantly left, and Gabrielle headed to the beach. She then spent the entire day with the sun, sand, sea, and humans, and now her time to be by herself for a while was coming to an end. Being alone was a rarity for her. She was normally surrounded by her brethren.

  A bright flash of lightning and immediate crack of thunder sent the few remaining humans scrambling to gather their belongings from the beach as they tried to beat the downpour. Some people had been so eager to get out of the path of the storm—one that seemed particularly angry—that they abandoned some of their things.

  Gabrielle scanned the discarded items—bottles of lotion, trash, scattered towels, a beach ball, and an umbrella tumbling away as if trying to outrun the wind. Gabrielle mused that the gusts were trying to push the people, even her, out of the way to safety. The storm was of no concern to her. Nothing that belonged in the human world could harm her. It was the beings who didn't belong among humans who could make her wary, but there were few of those who caused her worry.

  Gabrielle turned her attention away from the umbrella's dance into the distance and gave it back to the water in front of her. The intensity of the surging waves had grown steadily. She stood with her feet just within reach of the fingers of water that seemed to stretch to tickle her toes, enticing her with each break of waves against the sand to come in and play for a while. The sun that had given its warmth throughout the day was setting just ahead of the storm, reflecting against the liquid horizon of the Gulf of Mexico. The fiery sky boasted shades of red, orange, and yellow that reflected and mingled on the surface of the stirring waters as gusts of wind roused the fabric of her long black dress, whipping her legs as if urging her to hurry—to move on and take shelter before the storm unleashed its rage.

  As terrible as this storm threatened to be, this wasn’t the one that she was concerned with. It wasn't a storm of rain and wind and lightning that she was here to outwit—it wasn't the one that threatened her life. Gabrielle closed her eyes and tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, but the new thoughts that rushed in to replace them were no better.

  The mental calm the tropical landscape helped her achieve earlier had waned, replaced by a familiar ache as her mind wandered to memories of Javan. She'd been on this beach many years ago. Only that day, she hadn't been alone. She had been with him.

  It was a time before humans settled the now overpopulated Florida coastline. Before she lost the only love in Heaven she could ever have. Before she had the empty space inside her she did now that was constant and as loud to her as it was silent to others. Many times she'd heard a human say, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.’ She’d argue that if it was the kind of love one angel had for another of their kind, it’s better to have simply never loved. An angel who lost their Reyah will forever grieve them as if it just happened, without any chance of another in their life to ease the sorrow. It didn’t matter if that loss was due to death or if they had been cast out of Heaven, the result was the same.

  Gabrielle closed her eyes, sensing the last warmth the sun’s rays would offer her face and bare arms on this day.

  Now is not the time for regrets.

  She pushed the sadness away, focusing instead on the Earthly sounds of seagulls calling to each other in the distance and palm fronds rubbing against their neighbors as they tossed in the wind. When she opened her eyes, the sun was on the cusp of slipping away for another day. She wished it would take the memories of Javan and her love for him with it, knowing it was a lost wish even as she made it. The light the sun lent to create the vibrant colors she'd seen moments before now conceded to the dark blues and purples of dusk—chasing the light into gloom and void. There was still just enough light to make her eyes glint like emeralds and her long waves of dark hair to shine against the ensuing shadows.

  A bolt of lightning drew her attention in the direction of not only it but also a human who had been slow in leaving the openness of the beach. The length of his stride told her that he was aware of his vulnerability to the strands of electricity that were almost constantly ripping the sky apart. Gabrielle's body tensed as the man, in his mid-twenties, began jogging toward her and smiled—looking at her a little longer than she was comfortable with.

  Am I doing a good job of looking normal?

  She felt a pang of worry grip her stomach as she wondered whether or not she was going to fit in here or stand out like she did in her eternal home. The reality of being so different from her brethren was completely inescapable in Heaven. She caught herself hoping, on many occasions, that things would be easier for her on Earth.

  Please just let me fit in . . . at least here.

  Another flash and crack of thunder made the man jump, and he pulled his hands quickly to his ears. He glanced over his shoulder at the storm, then back at Gabrielle.

  “That storm's going to be a real nasty one,” the man said as if he truly was concerned about her safety. A slight scowl reinforced the worry in his tone.

  She just smiled and nodded. His concern, though kind, was wholly misplaced. But he would have no idea of that—at least, she hoped he wouldn’t suspect.

  She looked around to see if she drew any other attention but there wasn’t anyone left. They’d heeded nature’s threats. Even if they did notice the seventeen-year-old standing at the water’s edge, they probably wouldn’t take enough time to realize she was, somehow, different.

  They don’t notice the fantastical side of their world at all.

  The thought both relieved and disturbed her.

  Gabrielle turned her attention back to the sunset as she, once again, tried to distract herself from her thoughts and recalled her day.

  She’d spent the day under a much different sky, one full of sunlight and cotton clouds, experiencing the added sensations her human senses allowed—senses she had no need of in her true form. She was enjoying being incarnated this time more than any before. It was the first time she’d been on Earth for more than a few minutes without drawing the unwanted and dangerous attention of every demon within a hundred miles. All thanks to the Aegis Veil.

  While spending part of the day walking slowly in and out of the shops along the road running parallel to the beach, enjoying the protection the veil offered, she discovered the blissful taste of mint chocolate chip ice cream. She loved the way the cold slipped down her throat but didn't understand why it caused her to shiver and get little raised bumps on her tan skin. To her relief, they went away as quickly as they appeared. It had been a nice change from the heat of day, and she looked forward to another scoop before she made her way to her temporary home.

  The task ahead was going to be difficult, and she hoped she was doing the right thing. It
made little difference if she was one of the most powerful angels Yahuwah ever created if she couldn’t figure out how to make humans have faith again. So many from her home, as well as here on Earth, were relying on her success. She and her brethren were losing the battle that had been waged between Light and Darkness for thousands of years. It was beginning to slip through their fingers so fast that Gabrielle was concerned the decision to live here had been made too late.

  This was all she could do, though.

  This, and handling karma—making sure people receive the appropriate rewards or punishments for their choices. Free will is a wonderful gift, but so many used theirs without a conscience now, and humanity’s lack of conscience was the biggest obstacle to winning the war.

  Gabrielle breathed the warm, moist sea air into her lungs, stretched them as far as she could and exhaled slowly. She needed to clear her mind of her concerns.

  Just concentrate on your goal.

  It was difficult to ease her tension. Her job had been affecting her mood more harshly every day. As much as she loved her position as The Angel of Karma, she hated the hostility she found herself experiencing most days—a nasty repercussion of dealing with so much bad karma. Handing out a little more good karma would go a long way in making her less edgy.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to listen only to the waves. They were coming in at a more rapid pace as the angry clouds grew closer.

  Soon, there won't be more than a heartbeat of time between each break of waves.

  Her focus on the sound wasn't what soothed her troubled thoughts. It was the image of the young man. She loved seeing this stranger's face pass into her mind’s eye. She loved it, and at the same time, was frightened that she loved it. She didn’t know who he was—the young man with the blue eyes she wanted to retreat into. She did know the feelings she seemed to be having for this human were forbidden, something she couldn’t act upon.