by Laura Landon
Hugh reached for her hand. “I was thinking I no longer want to spend one more day away from you.”
“Hugh—”
“You can argue if you want, but it will do no good. I’ve made my decision. I intend to spend every day of my life with you. I want to watch my son grow—and any more sons or daughters you give me.”
Nellie bit her lower lip as if fighting to stop the tears.
“Do you know why, Nellie?”
She shook her head.
“Because I love you.”
The first tear spilled down her cheek, and Hugh wiped it away with his thumb. “The night I landed in your lap was the luckiest night of my life. When you agreed to be my wife was the second luckiest night. And just now, when you presented me a son, was the culmination of all those magnificent times. I love you, Nellie. With all my heart.”
Another tear fell from her eyes, then another, and another.
“It’s all right, Nellie. You don’t need to love me. I have enough love for the two of us. Just give me a chance to show you how much I love you.”
“Oh, Hugh,” she said, then swallowed hard. “I know you think you will be satisfied here, but that’s only because of the babe. In time, you’ll yearn to return to your life in London.”
“If you read my letters, you’d know that—” Hugh stopped. Was it possible she hadn’t read his letters? Was it possible she didn’t know how desperately he’d begged her to change her mind? To allow him to come back to her?
“Did you read my letters?”
Nellie lowered her gaze and slowly shook her head.
“Where are they?” he asked. “Do you still have them?”
“They’re in the desk. In the center drawer.”
Hugh rose from beside her and went to the desk. There they were. All unopened. Wrapped in a blue ribbon. He picked them up and took them to her. “Read them, Nellie. Then if, after you’ve read them, you still want me to go, I will.”
Hugh placed the bundle of unopened letters in her lap and walked to the door. He stopped with his hand on the latch. “I’ll send your sisters up to care for the babe. You need to rest.”
“Hugh, I—”
“It’s all right, Nellie.” He looked down at the babe in her arms. “He’s a beautiful babe. You’ve given me the most special gift in the world.”
And he left.
Nellie’s sisters had come for the babe and instructed her to get some rest while she could. But she couldn’t sleep. Not until she read Hugh’s letters.
She gently untied the ribbon that held them together and counted. There were eighteen letters in all.
She opened the first one and read it. There was nothing special in its message. A short line of how much he enjoyed being back in London, then a mention of an event he and his friends had attended at which they saw Colette and her husband and another sister, but he didn’t know which one it was.
Nellie smiled. It didn’t surprise her that he didn’t know one sister from another.
He closed his letter by asking how everything was at Red Oaks. She assumed that was his way of inviting her to write him. Which, of course, she never did.
She opened the next letter, then the next. They were identical to the first. He enjoyed being in London. He spent a great deal of his time with his friends, Jeb Danvers and Caleb Palmer. They’d been through a great deal together, and she knew their bond was close.
Then the tone of his letters as well as the length of them changed. His first letters were nothing more than short notes to keep in touch. Gradually, though, his letters became longer. He wrote several lines of his thoughts, as if he missed talking to her. As if he needed to include her in what he was doing and who he was seeing. In what he was thinking.
Then, the tone of his letters changed again. The excitement she heard in his first letters gradually faded. The more letters she read, the more solitary he became. Until she reached the letter where he didn’t simply ask her how she was but suggested that if she’d like, he could come to Red Oaks to visit.
Nellie’s eyes misted as she folded Hugh’s letter and returned it to its envelope. There were three more letters to read, and she wasn’t sure she had the courage to read them. Yet she knew she couldn’t fail to read them.
She opened the next letter and skimmed through the first paragraphs where he rambled about what he’d seen and done. She turned to the last page and read his words.
He missed her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to know if she was all right. He wanted to know if she would allow him to come to Red Oaks for at least a little while.
The next letter was basically the same, except asking bordered on pleading. To which she hadn’t answered.
Nellie swiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks. There was one letter left, but her heart ached so intensely she wasn’t sure she had the courage to read it.
Nellie’s hands trembled as she opened the letter. The words were written in his bold script, but he didn’t start out with news of London. Instead, he wrote . . .
My dearest Nellie,
I remember the night I first saw you. The night I fell from the terrace and opened my eyes. I still see your face as I saw it that night. Filled with concern for me. A woman willing to do whatever she could to help someone she’d never met. But I was a fool not to realize what a gift I was gazing upon.
From the day I stepped onto English soil after having survived the war, I made a vow to enjoy every day to the fullest. But I was so busy enjoying life, I didn’t realize that I was wasting the time I’d been given. I didn’t know how precious life was until I met you.
In your quiet, self-assured way, you opened my eyes and allowed me to appreciate how special the life I thought I hated could be. I was selfish and self-absorbed, but you gave even more of yourself, knowing you would receive nothing in return. You accepted me for what and who I was without attempting to change me. And no matter how I try to make sense of why you would do something so compassionate, I can’t. Other than it’s because you are so good.
I know I don’t deserve you. I have nothing to offer you. I’m not nearly as good as what you deserve. But I can’t live without you. I think of you every hour of every day, and my heart aches from missing you. I see your face in every dream and wake up wanting to be with you even more. And I die inside when I think you might not think of me at all. Or want me even a little.
I love you, Nellie. I’m not sure I can face another day without you. Please, tell me you love me a little. I never thought I’d resort to begging for anything, but I’m begging now. I’m begging that you can find it in your heart to love me enough to take me back. I’m not sure I can survive another day without you.
Please, Nellie. You mean everything to me. Please want me enough to take me back.
H
Nellie clutched Hugh’s letter to her breast and let the tears flow. Night after night, she’d tried to sleep but couldn’t because she missed having him near her. Then as the babe inside her grew, she ached for Hugh to be there so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her. And all that time he’d wanted the same thing. He’d wanted to be with her, because he loved her.
When her tears were finally spent, she pulled back the covers. Her movements were slow, but after a moment she was able to drop her legs over the edge of the bed and stand.
The pain stilled her for a moment, but she knew she could endure anything to tell Hugh how wrong he’d been. She needed him to know how lonely she’d been without him. And how desperately she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
Nellie leaned against anything that might steady her as she made her way across the room. When at last she reached the door, she was consumed with an urgent need that he know how much she loved him.
She turned the knob and opened her mouth to call to him, then stopped. Her eyes focused on the most handsome man in her world. The man of her dreams. The man she loved.
“Nellie,” he whispered, stepping to her and scooping her in his arms.
“I love you, Hugh. I’ve always loved you.”
Hugh carried her across the room and gently placed her on the bed. “Oh, Nellie, promise me you’ll never ask me to leave you again.”
“Never, Hugh. Never. I love you too much to live even one day without you.”
“And I couldn’t survive a day without you. I don’t know why I didn’t realize how much I needed you from the start.”
“Because you didn’t need me. But you do now, and I don’t intend to ever let you go.”
“Don’t you dare try, Nellie. Don’t you ever dare try,” Hugh said as he brought his mouth down to hers.
Epilogue
Hugh looked around the room. He was humbled that so many friends had gathered for the weeklong celebratory event he and Nellie were hosting to commemorate the birth of their son. Little Edward was now nearly six months old, and there were so many friends and family in attendance that they were forced to use Red Oaks’ seldom-used banquet hall.
Nellie’s five sisters and their husbands were here with their combined twelve children. It gave the hallways of Red Oaks the most delightful constant noise. Then, too, there was Nellie’s father, the Earl of Lyman, and Hugh’s parents, the Marquess and Marchioness of Bentingham, as well as Hugh’s brother, the Earl of Shelton, and his family.
It nearly overwhelmed him to think of the layers of friendship and support that would always surround his firstborn. And first among them were Hugh’s closest friends, the men who had risked their lives, shoulder to shoulder, to earn their place in the Traitor’s Club.
Ford Remington had been the first of the traitors to marry. He’d chosen the ideal woman to be his wife and had turned into a highly regarded shipping magnate.
Jeb Danvers and Caleb Parker had teased him unmercifully for abandoning the traitors when he joined Ford in the ranks of the married, but Hugh would never regret his decision. He was too happy. He had everything he could ever want in life. Even his father had told him how pleased he was with the choices Hugh had made, both in his life and in his wife.
Even though Jeb and Caleb swore they were happy with bachelorhood, Hugh couldn’t help but hope that in time they would each find someone to love. They both deserved to be as happy as he was.
Jeb and Caleb caught Hugh’s look and excused themselves from the group of men with whom they were conversing. They strode across the room, turning every eye with the confidence they exuded.
“That’s a fine son your wife has provided you,” Caleb said.
Hugh laughed. “You make it sound as if it were all Nellie’s doing that Edward is such a remarkable babe and I had nothing to do with it.”
“Well, you may have played a small part in the process, but it’s a good thing your wife was able to rid the babe of all your flaws and bring out only her exceptional qualities,” Jeb said as he joined in with the teasing remarks.
“Laugh all you like,” Hugh countered. “At least I’ve found the most remarkable woman on the face of the earth.”
“I doubt Ford would agree with you on that point.”
Hugh laughed. “Perhaps not. If forced to, I would admit that we were equally fortunate to have found such exceptional wives. My question is, when are you two going to make your matches?”
“Never!” Caleb said, reaching for a glass of champagne from a busy footman.
“Same here,” Jeb said, also taking a glass. “And to make sure you and Ford don’t attempt to weaken our resolve, I’m going to take myself far away from the two of you for a while. Caleb will have to fend you off on his own.”
“Where are you going?” Caleb asked, as surprised as Hugh was by the news.
“Scotland, if you can believe it.”
“Scotland? Whatever for?”
“For my father. It seems one of his dearest friends is near death. He asked that Father send someone he trusts to Scotland to get something in particular that he wants Father to have.”
“Do you know what it is?” Hugh asked.
“No, but evidently it’s very valuable.”
“How long do you anticipate being gone?” Caleb asked.
“No more than two or three weeks, I’d imagine. Not so long that you’ll run out of friends to put up with you,” Jeb teased.
“If our friend gets bored in London,” Hugh said, wrapping his arm atop Caleb’s broad shoulders, “he can always visit me in the country.”
Hugh laughed when his friends groaned. “You’ll be careful, won’t you, Jeb?” Hugh said, not knowing why he thought to say something like that. Perhaps because Jeb had nearly died during the war when he was captured behind enemy lines. Perhaps because Jeb still bore the emotional and physical scars from the time when he was imprisoned and tortured. Perhaps because, even though he was the strongest and most formidable of the four of them, he was also the most vulnerable.
“Of course. I plan to leave from here first thing in the morning. Father hinted that I mustn’t delay since his friend’s end seems near. Once I get what it is he wants Father to have, I’ll return straightaway.”
Before Jeb finished his sentence, Nellie walked toward them alongside Ford and Callie. Hugh was glad to see Nellie get along so well with Ford’s wife. He would make sure they invited Ford and Callie to Red Oaks often.
“Are you three solving the world’s hefty problems?” Nellie asked, looping her arms through Hugh’s.
“I tried,” Hugh answered, “but neither Jeb nor Caleb have the slightest idea what’s going on. Their existence consists solely of London’s gaming world.”
“That used to be your world, too, Hugh,” Jeb teased.
“And I have this wonderful lady to thank for showing me a much better life.”
Hugh lowered his head to place a kiss on Nellie’s forehead. The look Nellie gave him caused his heart to swell with love for her.
With his friends watching, he placed his finger beneath her chin and lifted it until her gaze caught with his. Then, he lowered his head and kissed her again, only this time on the lips.
He was the most blessed of men. He would always love having her in his life.
“Darling, it’s time to toast Edward’s future,” Nellie reminded him.
Edward’s future.
Hugh pulled Nellie shamefully close against his side. He could toast Edward’s future. All he had to do was wish the child a future with a woman who could set his world aright and make her home in his heart. A special woman. An extraordinary woman.
A woman just like his Nellie.
About Laura Landon
Laura Landon enjoyed ten years as a high school teacher and nine years making sundaes and malts in her very own ice cream shop, but once she penned her first novel, she closed up shop to spend every free minute writing. Now she enjoys creating her very own heroes and heroines, and making sure they find their happily ever after.
A vital member of her rural community, Laura directed the town’s Quasquicentennial, organized funding for an exercise center for the town, and serves on the hospital board.
Laura lives in the Midwest, surrounded by her family and friends. She has written nearly two dozen Victorian historicals, thirteen of which have been published by Prairie Muse Publishing and are selling worldwide in English, one in Japanese, and several in German. Two are Scottish historicals.
In October 2012, Laura experienced an amazing day when Amazon’s Montlake Romance published not one but three of her newest novels. Two of these have been optioned for publication in Russia and Turkey. Several are also available in German. To date Montlake has published seven of Laura’s Victorian historicals and Kindle Press three.
Always beautifully set and with a mysterious twist or bit of suspense, Laura’s books average a million pages a month read by her loyal readers.
LAURA LANDON IS A PRAIRIE MUSE PLATINUM
KINDLE PRESS AND AMAZON MONTLAKE AUTHOR
WWW.LAURALANDON.COM
Also from Laura Landon
by Prairie Muse Publishing
; SHATTERED DREAMS
WHEN LOVE IS ENOUGH
BROKEN PROMISE
A MATTER OF CHOICE
MORE THAN WILLING
NOT MINE TO GIVE
LOVE UNBIDDEN
KEEPER OF MY HEART
THE DARK DUKE
CAST IN SHADOWS
CAST IN RUIN
CAST IN ICE
CAST IN SCANDAL
(novella in Her Majesty’s Scoundrels boxed set)
JADED MOON
THE DEVIL’S GIFT
From Laura Landon
by Montlake Romance
SILENT REVENGE
INTIMATE SURRENDER
INTIMATE DECEPTION
THE MOST TO LOSE
A RISK WORTH TAKING
BETRAYED BY YOUR KISS
RANSOMED JEWELS
From Kindle Press
THE SECRET ROSE
DARK RUBY
DECEPTION IN EMERALDS
THE TRAITOR’S CLUB: FORD
WHERE THE WOMAN BELONGS
NOVELLA
See all of Laura’s books at Amazon.com
COMPANION BOOKS (series)
by Laura Landon
THE BROTHERHOOD
When Love is Enough | Broken Promise
RANSOMED JEWELS
Ransomed Jewels | Jaded Moon
Dark Ruby | Deception in Emeralds
THE REDEEMED
The Most to Lose | The Dark Duke
CAST IN SCANDAL
Cast in Shadows | Cast in Ruin
Cast in Ice | Cast in Scandal
THE TRAITOR’S CLUB
Ford | Hugh | Jeb | Caleb
