The Sweetest Kill
By: Shannon Alexander
S.B. Alexander© Copyright 2014
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, alive or dead is entirely coincidental.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced to a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.
Song titles and quotes used without permission
“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don't.”
-Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three –Several months later
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter One
I grew up in a house where God ruled everything we did. We ate, we prayed we breathed the word of our Lord and Savior.
Our parents Tom and Mary Taylor were hardcore Jesus freaks. That’s not an insult to any of you who believe in God. No way, but my brother and I grew up in a life where we were constantly being told how all of our ‘normal’ moments were somehow blessings from God, and our ‘mistakes’ made us abominations.
You see my older brother Jaxon and I were the children of a youth minister and Susie Homemaker. My mom was wonderful when we were little, but over time she became almost brainwashed…My dad… Well he can be a bit overkill with the word of God.
My brother Jaxon and I were very close growing up. We lived in Southern California, where we didn’t have to worry about cold winters, so we spend the majority of our days out and about, as far from our father as we could get. Neither of us really believed in God. We didn’t want to listen to the preaching day in and day out. Jaxon and I were best friends, we made our lives work.
Until we entered high school.
Jaxon was always a looker, that’s what mom and Grandma Smith always called him. He was tall, he had enough muscle from playing sports and he had these gorgeous green eyes that he got from our dad. This pretty much sealed his hand in the girl department throughout middle school and into high school.
He was athletic, smart like I was and girls would throw themselves at him. He didn’t mind, but it made my dad crazy. He always yelled at Jaxon for taking part in sex before marriage. Telling Jaxon that God would never approve. Jaxon didn’t care about that. He made it a point to flaunt his sexual activity.
I should point out, that my dad was never really physically abusive, just exhausting and degrading in some ways. I don’t know that he was doing any of it to be mean, but these were his beliefs and Jaxon and I didn’t really share them. Dad knew this, and although he didn’t use his fists, his words hurt us. He would bring home children from his youth groups and take them fishing and tell them in front us how he wished he had not been tested with “evil” for children.
He didn’t know or care that it pushed us away. It just got worse.
Jaxon dated a girl, Ashley for a few weeks his senior year in high school. I was becoming a junior, having skipped a grade in middle school. Ashley was pretty enough, but she isn’t what I would consider beautiful. She had dirty blonde hair, brown eyes and a slightly thin frame.
I didn’t really like her, she wasn’t around often, and when she was she was rude to me, telling me to stop hogging my brother like a dog. The looks she gave my brother were odd and bothered me the most. She was in love with him. All the girls were. But Ashley had a look about her that told me she would do anything to keep Jaxon and the social status that came with being with someone like him.
She didn’t come from the ‘right’ side of the tracks. She came from a rich family, not that that was any reason for her to behave the way that she did. Her social status however was poor, her dad was a known drug pusher, and her mother was rumored to be a prostitute. Her family as a whole didn’t have much respect, but they waved the green and people closed their mouths.
Ashley was also into drugs. Jaxon didn’t know that until after he started dating her and when he found out he dumped her right away.
Only that was when Ashley chose to tell Jaxon that she was two months pregnant.
They had been sleeping together several weeks prior to starting to officially date. Jaxon didn’t ask girls out, but there were rumors about him and Ashley going around, rumors that called her really bad names and Jaxon felt sorry for her. His attempt at ‘saving’ her rep only cost him his.
Of course with a baby on the way and a girl with a drug problem, he realized most of the rumors about her were true just a little too late.
Ashley was sent to a rehab program when she was 6 months pregnant. She returned a few months later, two months before graduation, and she was 8 months pregnant. Jaxon dropped out of school to get a job. Ashley made it clear she would not be keeping the baby, and Jaxon refused adoption. Even though Ashley was not happy about him keeping their child.
He didn’t have a problem being a father. My dad however, had a huge problem with it. He told Jaxon that if he decided to father this child, without marrying Ashley that he would not be welcome in his home.
Jaxon took money out of his savings from Grandma and Grandpa Smith and got his own place. He ended up getting a great job at our Gym teacher Mr. Erickson’s, family car dealership. Jaxon started making decent money right off the bat, he was good at what he was doing and it allowed him to save the majority of his savings for baby stuff.
He offered to let me move in with him. I wanted to finish school though. Jaxon and I had been going to private school our whole lives, and although part of me wanted to follow my brother and be free of the bible man, I didn’t want to leave all my friends just yet.
It was hard at first, mom and I would visit Jaxon often. When Ashley had the baby, we were there. Jaxon named her Josslyn Olivia, which made me cry. He told me I was the most amazing woman he knew so it only made sense that his daughter would be named after her aunt.
After that mom wasn’t allowed to come out any more. Dad put his foot down and told her that she couldn’t be condoning behavior like that and she didn’t argue. At all.
The truth was I loved my mom, but I lost a lot of respect for her the day she chose to turn her back on her granddaughter and her son. It wasn’t out of hate, dad I think loved Josslyn too, he kept a picture of her in his wallet that I would see each time he pulled it out. But it was almost like he was afraid of being considered a hypocrite if he and his wife were seen supporting their son who had a child out of wedlock and didn’t finish high school. Image was everything to him.
My dad’s desire to be a good dad was over shadowed by his need to be this valued religious man. He cared more about what God might think, that he cast us all aside. I knew in his own way he loved us but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t try and talk to Jaxon, he didn’t try and ask questions.
It was around this time that I chose to sit down with mom and dad and tell them I was moving in with Jaxon and Joss. I explained that I loved them very much, and I would miss my school, but Jaxon needed help. The baby was only 2 weeks old and he had to return to work at the end of the month. He needed someone to stay with her. I did some research and found an onlin
e school that would allow me to finish my high school diploma, and they were able to connect directly with my current school, so I could take final tests at the school under the Head Masters supervision.
Dad wasn’t happy
That was really it. No one fought me.
The next day, as I was packing up my stuff, dad was ranting through the house saying that we didn’t respect him as man of the house. That God gave us everything and we were fools to throw it away.
My respect for dad didn’t die, it just kind of… faded. Then again, I think it had always been doing that. Fading, melting into nothing.
Jaxon was beyond excited to have me moving in with them.
As for Ashley, she signed over her parental rights. They had to go to court a few times, Ashley had to have psychological evaluation done to prove that she was making the choice for the right reasons and not under the duress of something like Post-Partum, but everything came back clear and on Joss’s one month ‘birthday’ she became all Jaxon’s.
Josslyn was an easy baby. Jaxon and I fell into a really easy pattern of taking care of her. She didn’t wake up more than twice a night to feed, so he took those. If he was too tired one night, he would wake me up and I would gladly sit up and feed her.
She didn’t cry a whole lot. In fact she was probably one of the happiest babies I had ever seen. It made being an 18 year old stand in mom/aunt pretty much awesome.
I loved her, and she loved me. As she got a bit older she would prefer me over Jaxon sometimes, and he didn’t mind that. He was always telling me how thankful he was for all of my help and support. But really what else did he expect? Jaxon and I were really all the other had. We had awesome grandparents but they moved to Florida years ago, so outside of mom and dad we were it.
Jaxon use to always tell me “whatever man ends up with you, he’s going to know he’s the luckiest man alive every single day from the day he first meets you. You are a rare one Liv, you and Joss are the only signs I have ever had that actually God exists.”
I always held hope that he was right.
Chapter Two
My senior year was pretty much a blur.
My friends from school didn’t stick around. Except for Alexis. She had been my best friend since we were little girls. The others didn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. They didn’t understand why I would give up my freedom to take care of my brother’s baby.
They didn’t understand family I guess.
I went to see my mom every other week for the afternoon. Usually when dad was getting his sermon ready for his youth group. She and I would sit and have tea, I would tell her all about Josslyn trying a new food, or her odd attempts to crawl.
Mom would offer me advice, and I would take most of it. She raised two kids, I figured it made her feel like she was still a part of it all.
I never took her advice about dad however.
I figured when he would learn to let go and accept Jaxon, I would do the same for him.
Jaxon was different about the dad thing though. He was always urging me to talk to mom and dad. He would tell me to go over for dinner. I always refused.
After a while he stopped pushing it.
He didn’t force me to invite them to graduation.
But Jaxon and Joss were in the front row, clapping for me as I received my diploma
Jaxon and Joss were there when I made the choice to not go to college, a huge decision for me. Jaxon was stern and asked me to re-consider, but when I shared with him what I really wanted to do he told me he supported me 100%
Chapter Three –Several months later
I did all the photos for Joss’s first birthday and Jaxon told me I had to find a way to take photo’s full time.
So I decided to take a few photography then business classes and Jaxon helped me build a freelance business.
I worked for myself. Set my own hours, and I rented out a small space where I could do photo sessions when needed.
I made decent money, I saved most of it for my own place. Jaxon told me I could stay, but when he started bringing home girls late at night I started to feel like maybe being almost 20 and living with my big brother wasn’t really a good idea.
Three weeks after my 20th birthday, I moved into my very first townhouse.
It was a rental, with the option to buy after the first year. I was making over 600 for a photo shoot, which meant that if I really wanted to save I could totally buy the place.
The townhouse shared an entrance, but I had my own entire side. It was the largest thing I had ever seen considering it wasn’t a house.
There were 3 bedrooms. One for me, one for Joss and one for an at home office.. I insisted when deciding to move out that Jaxon let me take her once a week or every other weekend so that he could go out and have fun too.
At first he wasn’t really sold on the idea, he told me he had taken up enough of my life, but when Joss came wobbling in and climbed on my lap and passed out, he kind of knew we needed to have our own time. Now that Joss was nearly two, Jaxon wanted her in day care until she was old enough for preschool. At first I protested, until he explained that she needed the social interaction, and that I needed to be a 20 year old and enjoy my life.
There was a large eat in kitchen. This was my favorite part, I loved cooking. I wasn’t very good at it because mom had always done it. Since I had gone to stay with Jaxon I was picking things up and couldn’t wait to continue learning.
It is all one level, which I love the most. I wouldn’t have a hard time baby proofing for when Joss would be with me.
The walls are all white, while the windows have black trimming which I find interesting. There is also a huge backyard and I couldn’t wait to get Joss a play set.
The landlady is amazing. Her name is Erica, she is actually an old friend of a guy that Jaxon works with. She met me on the day I moved in and told me about the neighborhood. It is a gated community, with a home owner’s association but she said I didn’t need to be a part of that. The grass needs to be mowed at all times, and we have a sound ordinance, but it isn’t anything I am too worried about.
She tells me about my neighbor as well. “He’s just a sweetheart, he’s single so maybe you all will get on just fine. He keeps to himself most of the time, doesn’t make a lot of noise but I think he’s just a doll.” I notice she she’s blushing.
“He isn’t home at the moment, I wanted to introduce you. You two share the entry way which means you each get a key. My only rule is that the entry way stay clean. If you notice that his side is messy, just sweep and clean it up he will do the same for your side.”
I nod my head as she hands me my keys and I sign all the paperwork.
My very first place!
Chapter Four
There is no sign of my neighbor the first few days I am there. Erica had mentioned that he goes out of town every couple of weeks. I’m pretty excited to blast some music while unpacking, without feeling like I might disturb him.
Jaxon and Joss had gone out of town for the week. To Florida to visit our grandparents. I decided to skip this trip so I could focus on making my new place feel more like home.
Of course I didn’t consider the furniture company unloading a ton of furniture and not putting most of it together.
I purchased the extra assembly package, but it turns out there was a mix up and they were short men so no one could stay to help out.
I get mostly everything into the right rooms, but I have to put Joss’s toddler bed together as well as a toy box, an Ikea entertainment center and my night stand that seems to include one too many pieces.
My work is cut out for me.
About 6 hours into building I decide I need a break. I jump in my Murano heading to the grocery store to buy myself some soda and snacks. If I was going to slave over furniture I’m going to be fed and happy.
When I come back, I notice a white F150 with enormous tires in the parking spot next to mine.
I guess my neighbor i
s back.
Which kind of puts a slight damper on my plans to jam out with tunes while pigging out and building stuff.
I don’t see anything but a huge pair of shoes outside his door when I walk into my apartment.
I turn my music back on, opting for Eminem instead of my normal country, to get the blood flowing.
About 3 minutes after I finished Joss’s bed I realize I have made a huge mistake.
I put the bed together in the living room, and her doorway is not large enough to move the bed back through.
I am going to have to take the bed apart to get it through the door.
Frustration hits me and I just scream
I grab my soda and chips and sit at the table for a few minutes, glaring at the tiny mahogany bed sitting in the middle of the floor.
Suddenly there is a knock at my front door.
I grab my iPod off the deck click the little button on the top to turn it off.
When I open the door, standing there is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen.
He is tall, well over 6 ft. He’s wearing a white tank top and black gym shorts. Tattoo’s cover his arms, traveling up to his neck.
He has muscles everywhere. Clearly he spends a lot of free time in the gym, I have never seen a man so built.
His eyes are piercing blue almost clear
As I am checking him out I realize he’s looking at me with a knowing smile on his face.
God is he hot!
“Hey” he says slowly reaching his hand out to me, a sexy smile pulling at his lips “I’m Dean your new neighbor, Erica told me you moved in I wanted to come by and introduce myself.”
I reach forward and shake his hand. Noticing how rough and soft his warm palm feels at the very same time. “I’m Olivia, or Liv whatever.”
He holds my hand a moment longer than necessary I start to pull away, worried that he will notice the pink flush I can feel creeping across my cheeks
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