I blushed furiously and went into a little coughing fit. There was no way around it and no way in hell I was going to be able to keep it secret from her any longer. If there had been even the smallest chance, I had just blown it.
“He gets an A+,” I said, finally deciding to give in.
Stella crowed and pumped her fist up in triumph. “Oh man! Who could have ever seen this coming?”
“Certainly not me,” I replied with a sigh. As much as I enjoyed being with Landon I couldn’t push away the worry when it came to my job. Not only that, now I was weighed down with guilt over our argument. I was too harsh on him.
“At least there’s documented proof his grades are improving,” Stella mentioned casually.
“What do you mean?”
Stella raised her eyebrows and quickly looked around before dropping her voice to a barely audible whisper. “Have you been reading the emails from the Tutoring Center at all?”
I felt sick to my stomach, “I haven’t. I’ve been too busy studying and keeping up with everything.”
"Yeah, busy studying Landon Bryce's cock," Stella deadpanned.
I gasped and smacked her on the arm, raising my finger to my lips and shushing her. Now my heart was racing.
“There have been rumblings of some grade fixing going on by tutors and student athletes. You know how it goes with them and its sort of how you mentioned about being glad a coach wasn’t breathing down your neck, only not all tutors get so lucky.” Stella laughed and winked at me even though the conversation was entirely too serious to make the pun appropriate in any way.
I stopped walking and went cold. I needed to gather proof of Landon’s work. I couldn’t be investigated for grade fixing because if anyone from the Tutoring Center bothered to look closer at me and Landon I might actually lose my job. We reached my house and I invited Stella in.
“It’s been forever since we've hung out and chatted like this,” I told her longingly. Talking to Stella had quelled my anger, even though that anger had only been replaced with anxiety. Stella agreed so I fished my keys out of my bag and unlocked the front door.
My entire world crumbled in an instant.
My mother was doubled over in agony on the floor.
It had been a couple hours or so since Ivy left my house. I still hadn’t heard from her, not that I was at all surprised by that. She wasn’t the type to call or text me very often. On top of that, she had stormed out of my place after spewing a storm of insults at me.
What she said got me thinking, but it didn’t change the fact that I was upset by the way she spoke to me. What hurt the most was thinking how low she thought of me. Even after all the time we had spent getting to know each other and connecting on a deep level, she still thought of me the same way she did back when I first walked into the Tutoring Center. I felt frustrated, but I knew the only way to fix this and move forward was to actually talk to her.
I reached for my phone, hoping she had already calmed down.
It went straight to voicemail. I felt instant disappointment drop over me.
“Ivy,” I started, “I just wanted to say that… Well, you were right about my dad. I called him and now I know that I should do that more often.” I paused and said a muffled ‘bye,’ before ending the call. I leaned my head back against the wall and waited for her to return my call. I knew it could be a while, but I had nothing better to do. I felt pretty tired anyway so lounging on my balcony wasn’t exactly a task.
I waited and waited, but she never called back. When enough time had passed and she still hadn’t called, I decided to text her.
“I want to talk. I get it now.”
There was still no answer even to my text a long time later. I stared at my phone and gripped it tightly to keep from hurling it off the balcony in a fit of anger. I stood up and stumbled into my room, pacing back and forth in front of my bed. I knew she needed time to calm down. She had been really upset, but I made the first move and reached out twice. Was it not at least common courtesy for her to respond?
I felt slighted.
As I continued to pace back and forth in my room I started to go over everything she had said to me earlier that morning. It worked me into more anger at first, but then I focused on her rant about being a good son. I thought of her mother and I stopped, the blood draining from my face.
Every ounce of anger I felt turned to concern. Something could have happened to her or her mother and here I was, worked up over feeling rejected.
Ivy was more than right to call me selfish. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. I hated that about myself. I stared out the window for a moment, thoughts racing. I needed to know everything was okay with them.
Against my better judgment, or more like I wasn’t thinking everything through, I called the Tutoring Center. I explained I had been trying to get in contact with Ivy, but was unable to and asked if they could help me. They told me they couldn’t give out that kind of information so I asked if I could have Stella’s phone number, figuring she would be willing to help me track Ivy down. Still they refused to give me anything so I finally got fed up and dropped my father’s name. The person on the other end of the line went silent for a moment before reluctantly muttering Stella’s personal cellphone number.
I thanked them begrudgingly and ended the call, quickly entering Stella’s number and calling. When she answered after the third ring, I exhaled loudly in relief.
“Stella! This is Landon. Landon Bryce, Ivy’s student, the football–”
“Landon,” Stella cut me off, “I know who you are.” My heart sank. Stella’s voice sounded shaky and it was clear she wasn’t in high spirits. I feared the worst.
Something was wrong.
“Stella,” I said in an equally shaky voice, “Are- Are you with Ivy?”
She sighed, “Yes, we’re at the hospital with her mom.”
My blood ran cold. Without a word I ended the call and rushed downstairs. As I bolted toward the front door, my teammates who were hanging out in the living room asked where I was off to in such a rush.
“Calm down, man! The game isn’t this morning!” There was a round of laughter and I scurried to grab the door handle. I didn’t have time for these childish exchanges or to explain anything. Noah jogged up to me and asked what was going on.
I glanced over at the guys, who were too preoccupied with their video game to care about what was going on between Noah and I.
“Listen, Noah, I have to go be with Ivy. It’s an emergency.” I gulped before going on, “I don’t know, man, I might not even make it to the game.” I didn’t notice the others had paused the game. They’d overheard everything. I heard my teammates scoff at me, so I quickly stepped out to look at them. They were all looking at me like I was completely crazy. I didn’t have time to deal with them or explain further to Noah so I ran out to my car as fast as I could.
I didn’t even know how fast I was driving as I made my way to the hospital, but all I could think of was getting there as quickly as possible. I practically threw the keys at the valet and ran inside, immediately spotting Ivy. Stella nudged her and nodded toward me. The moment Ivy looked up she ran to me crying.
I immediately wrapped her in my arms and held her tight. As much as I knew she was hurting for her mother, I couldn’t help but feel immense relief knowing she was safe and sound. I felt better just being there with her and all I wanted was to provide her with even the tiniest bit of comfort.
That was when the thought struck me—I must love her.
I had always put myself first and nothing had ever stood in the way of football but here I was, not even caring if I missed one of the most important games. It was the second time she had broken through my wall of selfishness.
I was more concerned about her than myself.
“It’s all my fault,” I cried into his chest, “This is all my fault. She’s here because of me, Landon. If I hadn’t been so selfish I’d have been home to pay close enough attention to her. I would
have noticed something was off. I would have picked up on the symptoms. I could have avoided this!” I cried more and more, my tears soaking through the thin fabric of his t-shirt as he held me tight.
“You know your mother would never blame you like this and she wouldn’t be okay with you doing this to yourself either.” He said as gently as possible.
I cried more. I knew deep down he was right. All my mother ever wanted was for me to be happy, but I was too consumed with guilt. Landon saw that side of me every day. I was constantly worried about her. I hardly ever lived in the moment. I stopped sobbing and held my breath thinking about what he had just said. I thought of my mom, unconscious on the hospital bed, and felt something I couldn’t make out.
My mother only wanted me to find my flowers through the dirt.
That was the thing that would make her the happiest. I pulled back and looked into Landon’s eyes. He wiped away my tears and cupped my face reassuringly. He was it.
“It’s you,” I whispered. “You’re my flower that’s grown through all the dirt, Landon.” A single tear slid down my cheek. He kissed it instead of wiping it away before kissing me on the lips. I could taste the salt of my tear, but it was easily the sweetest, most meaningful kiss I had ever experienced.
The kiss lingered, our lips just touching. Neither of us wanted the moment to end. It was the only real comfort I had felt through all of this. Landon finally pulled back enough to look in to my eyes. I felt my chest tighten. He was looking at me in a way he never had before. I suddenly felt nervous as he opened his mouth to speak.
“I love you, Ivy.”
It was three days later, but my mother was still in the hospital. I had barely set foot outside of the place the entire time. Stella had come by as often as she could to bring me a change of clothes and food. She also kept me company, but I quickly felt guilty about taking up my best friend’s precious little amount of free time.
“Stop that,” Stella scolded me. She had even helped me get extensions from my professors, all of them were very sympathetic to my situation.
The first day was the hardest. My mom hadn’t regained consciousness and I was starting to fear for the worst. Landon stayed by my side the entire time, but even that comfort quickly started to fade away. By late night I was inconsolable, back to blaming myself and sobbing relentlessly into my hands. Landon sat silently beside me. I know he was wishing there was some way he could take away my pain.
As Landon rounded outside the hospital room to head to the bathroom, he ran into Stella. I quieted my sobbing as much as I could so I could hear what they were saying.
“If my father could write a check to make this go away for her, I’d tell him to give away every last penny we had.”
“I know,” Stella said sadly. I know they both hated seeing me this way.
“Are you sure you don’t want a ride home?” Landon asked.
“No,” Stella responded, “Stay with her. That’s way more important.”
Landon spent the rest of the night wide awake, alternating between sitting silently beside me as I cried and cradling me in his strong arms. Sometimes I cried against his chest and other times I was completely quiet and out of tears. I was never asleep. It was early morning when my mother finally began to stir. I jumped up at once and scurried to the bedside.
“Mom,” I cried. By that time Landon was too tired and it was too late for him to make it the game, but he didn’t say anything; there was no use in making me feel guilty for that on top of everything I was already going through.
My mom spent three days total in the hospital. In the late afternoon of the third she was well enough to be sent home. I had done everything to make sure she was taken care of and, true to form, diligently took notes on everything nurses and doctors said.
“Honey,” she finally said with a sweet smile, “I think you can take me home now. I don’t think these fine folks would say otherwise if it weren’t true.”
“I know, mom,” I responded softly as I knelt in front of her. “I just can’t help being worried about you. I love you so much mom.” She ran her hands through my hair and nodded, an affectionate look in her eyes.
Landon helped get my mother into a wheelchair and then pushed her out to his father’s car, which he had borrowed to make her ride home more comfortable. His sports car wasn’t the best option. He was attentive enough to actually think about that.
“Thank you,” I told him in a broken voice as he opened the back passenger door for my mother. He smiled and nodded, closing the door once she took a seat. He did his best to drive smoothly to our house, avoiding any bumps he saw on the road no matter how small they were. Once we arrived, he helped her back into the wheelchair and pushed her up to the front door. I thanked the heavens that we had a paved ramp in place to make the wheelchair maneuvering easier.
“Are you hungry?” He looked from my mother to me, but we both shook our heads.
“That’s sweet, dear, but I don’t have much of an appetite,” she told him. She asked to be pushed to the living room and Landon helped her into her favorite armchair. I quickly helped her get comfortable, hoping she would be able to take a nap and get the rest she needed. The two of us sat on the couch next to the chair and watched a movie together, but it wasn’t long before mom was fast asleep.
I looked over at her sleeping peacefully in the chair.
I cried seeing her looking so content and at rest. Landon held me close and let me get all my emotions out. He only wanted to comfort me. I loved that about him. Even though this was his first time going through anything like this and being so selfless, it seemed like it came naturally to him.
“I know you don’t feel like eating but I think you really should,” he finally told me. I grumbled in complaint, but he coaxed me into the kitchen nonetheless, even if he only got me to eat some fruit and drink some water. He was probably right; it was better than nothing.
I could see the sun was beginning to set. “You don’t have to stay,” I told Landon.
“Are you kicking me out?” he joked.
“Of course not!”
He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around me. “I was just kidding,” he muttered against the top of my head, smelling my hair and kissing me softly. I looked up at him. I could see so many emotions in his eyes and I only hoped he could see the immense gratitude in my own.
“Maybe I don’t have to stay, but I want to.” He kissed me on the cheek, right at the corner of my lips, and swept his thumb over the side of my face.
I smiled weakly and sighed. Then my eyes instantly grew wide.
“Landon,” I croaked, “The game. The big Homecoming game– you missed it! What’s going to happen?”
He could already see my breakdown coming. “Hey,” he barked. He held my chin gently and repeated, “Hey. Don’t worry about that.”
“How can–”
He pressed his finger to my lips, effectively silencing me. “You don’t need to worry about it because I’m not worried about it. I’ll be fine. Somehow the football thing will work out. But, Ivy,” he paused. He cradled my face between both his hands and looked deep into my eyes. I felt a fluttering in my chest. He was looking at me the way he did in the hospital just before he told me exactly how he felt.
I could hardly believe he had said those three little words. The only thing that shocked me even more was how I felt. It was a feeling that had been creeping up inside of me for a while. It felt like a lake overflowing with water until the dam broke and it all spilled over. The dam broke in the hospital; when he held me tight and looked at me with glistening eyes.
That was when the water spilled over.
That was when I knew I loved him too.
The very young man I detested from the second I met him, the one my mother had warned me not to dismiss so easily, had gotten under my skin to this point. I couldn’t even wrap my head around how it was possible. I couldn’t pinpoint the moment all of it started to turn. One day I was complaining about him and
then, suddenly, I was falling for him without knowing it. But the entire time we both took risks to do things we never thought we’d ever do.
I couldn’t help but wonder how his football career would end up after missing the game and a ton of practices to be with me at the hospital, but he was assuring me everything would be okay. All I could do was believe him. If he was calm about it, there was a reason. I was tired of not being calm. I had been through three days of stress and emotional storms at the hospital. Now I just wanted to focus on Landon and all the amazing feelings he brought out of me.
“Ivy,” he repeated, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’m doing what's best for me.”
“This is what’s best for you?”
He almost looked disappointed, “Of course it is. Being right here with you, being here for you and your mom, that’s what’s best for me.”
Fourth Down and Dirty: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 12
