by Jody Holford
He turned his head. She was already looking at him but now their eyes found each other.
“They do. I was unsure of that before. I mean, I work odd hours and overtime. I thought we could do this together even if we weren’t a couple. I try to be a good parent; I would do anything for them. And I thought letting them be with their mom without boundaries was what I was supposed to do, but I was wrong. She hasn’t changed. Gina has always been one hundred percent about herself. I don’t even think she realizes it. That’s the worst part. She’s always surprised when her choices backfire and hurt others. But even knowing that, I can’t regret it because of them.”
She hated how his voice dipped low, more pained than angry, and she wondered if he ever missed the woman he’d fallen for—not the mother of his girls, but the woman she’d been before.
“Why didn’t you ever marry her?”
Kate wondered if she’d gone too far, but Elliot reached out and touched her hip in reassurance, heating the spot with just the touch of his fingers. Just as quickly, he pulled his hand back.
“I was never sure about the wife and two-point-five kids deal. At the time, we were just hooking up, having fun. When Gina told me she was pregnant, I was all in. The problem was, she wasn’t. Still, I was willing to try hard enough for the both of us. But a relationship can’t work like that and neither can parenting. She moved in with me and that…well, it was a disaster. At first, I put it down to pregnancy—her irritability, unhappiness, her need to pick up and go, the way she changed her mind every five seconds and never seemed satisfied with anything. As much as I loved Grace and Beth from the second they were born, I couldn’t marry Gina. I couldn’t promise myself to her if I could so easily imagine my life without her in it. The first time she took off, the girls were six months old. When she came back after two weeks, there was nothing romantic between us. She didn’t love me. Ever, I think.”
Kate bit her lip and then took the jump. “Did you ever love her?”
Even in the dark, she could see his eyes were sad. “I don’t think so. Not the way I should love a woman I have two children with. I’m sad for her. She’s missing out on the only good things that ever came from us meeting. I’ve tried to fill in the gaps, make excuses for her not showing up when she says she will or forgetting promises she’s made the girls. But I’m done. She had her chance and now it’s my turn. I’m going for custody, and I think I’ll get it, mostly because I don’t even think she wants it.”
Kate thought she’d been a fool, but Gina definitely took the gold there. “They’re so lucky to have you, Elliot.”
When he smiled, Kate curled her fingers into her arm so she wouldn’t reach out to him.
“We need to get through Christmas and then figure out daycare, afterschool care, that sort of thing. It won’t be easy. But it’ll be right.”
Kate rolled onto her back and burrowed a little deeper into the covers.
“I’ve looked into it before,” Elliot said. “It’s expensive to put kids in daycare, but with them in school all day, maybe it won’t be so bad. It would basically be after-school care and maybe some holidays. Plus, your family actually said they could help out a bit with picking up from school and stuff. You come from a good place, Aarons.”
She shook her head against the pillow. Back to Aarons. When she was Kate, he could hold her hand and steal her breath. But when she was Aarons, they were locked in the no-touch friend zone. When things started to get more intimate, it was like he had to remind himself to switch between gears.
“I do. They’re good people and they mean it when they say they’ll help. I can too, you know.”
“Yeah? How are you with decorating? I need to get a tree up pronto.”
Kate jackknifed into a sitting position, mouth open, and looked down at him. “You don’t have a tree up? What is wrong with you?”
“I’ve been a little busy. And I didn’t know for sure they were going to be with me over the holidays.”
Kate got out of bed and padded to the fridge. She grabbed two bottles of water and brought them back, crawling on top of the covers. “You should be ashamed of yourself. It’s just over two weeks until Christmas. Fifteen days, Elliot.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Tell me you’ve shopped.”
“Uh. Mostly?”
She sank back on the bed and sighed. “You are so lucky I’m coming home. Christmas is magic and miracles and you need decorations. Everywhere. Don’t you want your girls to experience all the wonder of Christmas?”
He sat up, leaned against the headboard and took one of the waters she passed him.
“There’s still time, Kate.”
She scoffed, quietly. “Clearly, you’re a guy.”
“Um. I thought that was clear before this conversation.”
The amusement in his voice didn’t escape her. Neither did his guy-ness. Kate had tagged along the day Lucy had done a calendar photo shoot with a bunch of the men from the community to raise money to rebuild the town rec center, which had burned down. It had definitely brought in the funds. Elliot had been there, shirtless, along with Lucy’s now-husband, Char’s husband, and a few others. And Kate’s memory of Elliot was forever tattooed on her brain. Even now, she could easily picture his defined abs, the smooth ridges dusted with dark hair leading into the waistband of basketball shorts that clung to his hips.
“Kate?”
She blinked and cleared her throat. “What?”
“You were complaining about me being male at Christmas. I’m admitting my folly and asking if you’d mind shopping with me for the girls. You love shopping—which is a flaw I’ll overlook because I want to use it to my advantage. Plus, you shop for your nieces all the time. I didn’t exactly grow up with all of the Christmas trimmings, but I know your mom doesn’t do anything halfway.”
“No, she really doesn’t. And Christmas is the absolute best. Of course I’ll help you. You definitely need all the help you can get.” Taking a sip of her water, she ignored the way his laugh did funny things to her stomach—like he was running his hand along her skin, chasing goose bumps. She shivered again.
“Cold?”
Not even a little bit. “Nope. But I’m tired.”
He nodded and crawled out of the bed. Kate frowned.
“You can sleep with me,” she said. As soon as she said the words aloud, she squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could take them back. “I mean, beside me. In the same bed.” Elliot stared at her, his mouth dropping open slightly. As she continued to babble and gesture to his daughters, one dark eyebrow raised. “I mean so your…your junk is safe. So you don’t get kicked. I won’t kick you. Oh, my God. Make me stop talking. Tell me to shut up. Make it stop.”
Elliot stood, laughing and shaking his head. Kate held herself very still, hoping that maybe she’d disappear into the weird flower pattern of the comforter. Just when she thought she might be able to breathe again, Elliot leaned over, hooked his fingers around her neck, and tilted her head back. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes closed as his lips, Elliot’s soft, warm lips, touched her forehead.
“I think it’s safer with the girls.”
Kate nodded as he pulled away. The spot he’d kissed tingled with warmth, and Kate got under the covers, trying to pretend she hadn’t spoken. Her stomach tightened. Grabbing a pillow, she tossed it at him as he settled into bed.
“What’s this for?”
“Protection.”
Elliot laughed and though she couldn’t see him as well now, she bet that even his eyes were laughing, which was far better than being offended by her implication
“Thanks for keeping my junk safe, Aarons.”
“It’s the least I could do.” Or I could just stop talking and claim insanity in the morning.
“Good night, Kate. I’m glad you joined us for the ride.”
Her stomach stopped seizing, and a tranquil kind of pleasure washed over her. “Thanks. Me too. Good night.”
She fell asleep trying very
hard not to think about Elliot, his body parts, or the feeling of his lips against her skin.
Chapter 5
Kate opened one eye to the feeling of a little finger tapping her on the shoulder. Grace leaned over the side of the bed, into her and whispered loudly, “Are you awake?”
Kate closed her eye and buried her cheek into the pillow. “Not really. You okay?”
Grace curled into her side, shifting, turning, and burrowing into Kate like she belonged right in the spot between her body and her arm. Grace’s head shared Kate’s pillow and her little hand was on top of where Kate’s now rested on Grace’s belly.
Opening her eyes, it was easy to smile down at Elliot’s older-by-two-minutes daughter. “You comfy, sweetheart?”
Grace nodded. “Santa is coming soon.”
“That’s right. And tonight we’ll be home,” Kate whispered back. Glancing over, she saw Elliot still asleep with Beth burrowed into his body, much like Grace was with Kate. A pang of…God, what was that? Need or want or something shot through her hard, like a jolt of electricity.
“We didn’t get Daddy a present yet. Can you help us? Me and Beth have ten dollars. Aunt Shelly paid us five each to go watch TV.”
Kate closed her eyes and counted to ten. Grace shifted, so she was on her back, looking up at Kate. When she opened her eyes and looked back into Gracie’s, she hoped her irritation didn’t show. “Of course I’ll help you. We’ll figure it out when we get home, okay?”
Grace nodded again. “I’m hungry.”
Just like that, the topic switched, and Kate wished she could turn her thoughts on a dime that way. Instead, she yawned and stretched. “There’s a restaurant. We can go get pancakes.”
Grace sat up, nodding her head frantically. “I love pancakes. I’ll wake Beth and Daddy.”
Kate glanced over again and took in the sight of Elliot sprawled on the bed, his eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks in his sleep. He wore a dark green T-shirt and one of his hands was dangling off the bed. Beth was beginning to stir.
“Why don’t you just wake Beth? Let your daddy sleep. We still have a long ride.”
Grace tiptoed over to Beth while Kate pulled herself from the bed, grabbed her carry-on, and went to the washroom. She brushed her teeth, tied her long, dark hair up into a ponytail, and washed her face. Sliding into a bra, she figured there was no harm in all three of them heading to the restaurant in pajamas. She finished up and opened the door, still moving quietly.
She nearly squealed when her eyes met Elliot’s wide-awake ones. His quiet laugh sent a delicious shiver over her skin.
“Hey.” His dark eyes were drowsy as they watched her. Leaning on his elbow and hip, his blanket trailed down and his shirt had bunched, treating Kate to a view of the abs she remembered very well. Her eyes followed the ridges before she remembered herself and snapped her gaze back up to his.
Kate kept her eyes firmly on his face. “Hey. We were going to grab some breakfast. Why don’t you go back to sleep?”
“Daddy doesn’t like mornings unless he’s going to the beach,” Grace said, putting her shoes on.
He might not enjoy early hours, but he looked damn good in the morning. “I don’t really blame him,” Kate answered.
“I can get up,” Elliot said, starting to do just that.
She held up a hand. “Sleep.” It was the least she could do for hijacking his trip. It would also put some distance between her and his abs.
Beth walked over and thrust a shoe up so Kate could see it. “I can’t get this undone,” she said.
“Then ask for help politely, Beth,” Elliot said.
Kate untangled the knot and handed the shoe to Beth, who murmured, “thank you.”
“You sure?” Elliot’s eyes searched Kate’s.
Pretending the weight of his stare didn’t unlock guarded places inside of her, she made a dismissive gesture. “I got this. You’re driving so you can use the extra rest.”
“Thanks.”
The girls gave him noisy kisses and Kate wondered if he’d be able to fall back asleep. She never could. Once she was up, she was up. Beth and Grace chattered all the way down the horribly patterned hallway.
“We haven’t seen Santa yet,” Beth said as Kate pressed the button for the elevator.
Kate gestured for both girls to go in before her. “I’m sure there’s time. Did you write letters?”
“I’m pressing the button,” Grace shouted.
“It’s my turn,” Beth said.
“No, it’s mine,” Grace answered.
Kate put a hand on each of their shoulders. “Shh. People are still sleeping. Grace, press the button. Beth, you press it on the way back up.”
Beth gave a small “hmph,” while Grace pressed the rounded two. Kate smiled down at them, thinking it would be lovely to have such minor worries.
“We didn’t write letters,” Grace said.
“Well, there’s still time for all of that,” Kate said, wondering if she should mention it to Elliot.
“No there isn’t,” Beth said, still frowning.
“Why don’t we write them while we wait for breakfast?” Kate asked.
Both girls beamed, their smiles overtaking their entire faces, twin smiles that caused happiness to simmer in her. Adorable.
They settled down with menus, and Kate ordered a vat of coffee. Once they’d placed their orders, pancakes for both girls and waffles for Kate, they got down to the serious business of penning letters to Santa on the back of their kid’s menus.
“Are you writing one, Kate?” Beth asked.
Grace had her pen resting on her lips, her eyes scrunched in thought. “She can’t write one. She’s a grown-up.”
Kate nodded. “Santa brings stuff to kids. Grown-ups take care of each other,” Kate said.
Beth looked at her sister. “But we can still ask for stuff for Daddy, right?”
Grace looked at Kate, who opened her mouth then closed it. Maybe she should have waited on this. Every family had different traditions, though she wondered if Elliot and the girls did. Kate knew he had a rocky relationship with his own parents and wasn’t close to them. He didn’t have the girls every Christmas either, Gina and he had shared.
Kate went with her gut and hoped she wasn’t overstepping. “I’m sure you can ask for something for him but Santa can’t guarantee anything. Why don’t you just write your letter and I bet he’ll do the best he can.” There. Open ended.
“If you’re asking for something for Daddy, so am I. What are you going to ask for?” Beth said.
“I want Santa to bring him a puppy,” Grace said.
Kate laughed, nearly choking on her coffee. “Wow. That would be fun for him, wouldn’t it?” She didn’t think Elliot wanted a gift that spread his attentions any thinner.
“If he got a puppy, we could take care of it for him,” Beth said.
Grace nodded excitedly. “I’m going to ask for a puppy for me, too.”
Beth rolled her eyes comically. “You can’t ask for two puppies.”
Grace frowned. “It’s not two. One would stay with Daddy all the time and the other one comes with us when we go to Mommy’s.”
Kate listened to their banter, letting the caffeine work its magic.
“We’re not going back and forth anymore. Daddy told Mommy he was done with that and if she wanted to see us she’d have to come to Angel’s Lake,” Grace told her sister.
Kate’s eyebrows rose. She wondered if Elliot had meant for the girls to hear that.
“Mommy doesn’t like it there,” Beth said.
Grace shrugged. Her eyes shimmered with sadness and she looked down at the pen she was holding, twisting it in her grip. “That’s just too bad. Because that’s where we’ll be.”
Beth said nothing to that, and Kate’s heart squeezed. Trying to lighten the mood, she wrote something down on her own list.
“Oh, I have a good one,” she said, covering her words with her hand.
Both Beth a
nd Grace were immediately distracted from their gloom.
“What is it?”
“Do you want a puppy too?”
Kate laughed and glanced at both of them. “Actually, I would love a puppy, but my wish is that you both have the very merriest, bestest Christmas ever.”
Both of the girls giggled as two servers brought their meals.
“Bestest isn’t a word, Kate, but I’m going to ask Santa to bring you a puppy too,” Grace said, her smile wide and toothy.
“All right, pancakes for you two ladies and waffles for Mom,” one of the servers said.
“Oh,” Kate said before surprise stopped her words.
“She’s not our mom. She’s our Kate,” Beth said.
A rush of warmth filled Kate’s chest, making her feel like she might burst.
“Well, you’re both so cute, that sounds like a good thing to be as well,” the waitress said. Kate saw the apology in her eyes when their gazes met.
Grace dug into her pancakes, more ripping them apart with her fork and knife than cutting them, while Beth asked for help. Kate was just pushing Beth’s plate back to her when she saw Elliot out of the corner of her eye.
She took a moment to drink him in at a distance. There had to be something in the water in Angel’s Lake because it was home to some seriously fine-looking men, but none of the others had ever made her pulse sprint quite like Elliot Peters did. His dark hair was tousled, like his fingers had traveled through it a few times. A bit of scruff outlined his strong jaw and those smoky, dark eyes were pinning Kate to her seat. Jesus. Breathe. The sight of him strolling over in a pair of cargo pants and a cozy gray hoodie was almost better than caffeine. She picked up her cup, gulped some down. Almost.
“Mind if I join you girls?” Elliot’s eyes stayed on Kate even as he spoke to his daughters.
Grace and Beth looked up, mouths full, and said, “Daddy!” at the same time. Elliot laughed, leaned over to kiss them both on the head, and then gestured to Kate to move over.
All thought fled her brain for a second before she realized she’d frozen. She laughed too loudly and scooted over on the booth’s padded seat. He slid in and his thigh brushed up against her pajama-clad one. It’s just the fleece that’s making you warm. If you can share a bed, you can share a padded seat. Actually, don’t think about sharing a bed.
