“Anya was her name. We met and fell in love at a ball. One night of madness followed by a century of...”
“You don’t have to go into details.” Sera’s grip on his hand tightened. He flinched as his cuts reopened. Evidently, it wasn’t wise to anger her by speaking of other women. She had asked to know his secrets. She would have to live with the truth of them.
“I loved her for a century and then three more.”
“You love her even though she left you?” She dropped his hand.
He had deserved that. It had sounded as though he had just confessed his undying love for another woman.
“She left me without a word. I spent years, one hundred of them, looking for her at every ball and social gathering. I haunted the places we had stayed or visited frequently.”
“Why did you stop searching for her if you love her so much?”
Antoine sighed and placed his hand on his chest. “Something happened that demanded my attention and deserved it more than a woman who had walked out on me.”
“Your brother’s bloodlust.”
If only it were that simple.
“Snow had been suffering on and off with his bloodlust for many centuries. The symptoms had been minimal, inconsequential, so we thought it would remain that way. Doctors said that with regular, higher, intake of blood he would be fine.” Antoine closed his eyes and cursed the name of those doctors for what felt like the millionth time. “I was so caught up in Anya that I just presumed Snow was doing well. I stopped checking on him and let him get on with his life. He never told me that the symptoms were getting worse and the attacks more frequent. I probably wouldn’t have listened even if he had.”
“You would have. It isn’t your fault that he kept it secret from you.”
“It is, Sera. I should have been there for him.” He was sure that if he had been there for Snow, had continued to speak to him about his bloodlust and ensure that he was doing well that he could have averted the disaster that had befallen them. He should have been there for his beloved brother and it haunted him, filled his mind with images of how different things might have been.
“You can’t spend your whole life focused on your brother’s needs and his needs alone. He has a sickness, a disease, and that isn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“I didn’t blame myself. I blamed my parents. I cursed my family for breeding this illness into us both. I knew that eventually I would walk the same dark path as my brother trod, and that, like him, I would be too proud to admit that the demon was seizing more and more control over me each night.” Antoine sat up and dug his fingers through his brown hair. He stared into Sera’s green eyes, the deep colour of them soothing away his agitation and coaxing him into continuing. Speaking to her felt so easy, as though she had come into this world for the sole purpose of hearing his woes and easing his pain. “When Anya left me, Snow found me drinking half the blood in the cold store and stopped me. He confessed that by drinking more blood, he had only quickened the awakening of his bloodlust and strengthened the hold it had on him.”
“He wanted to save you from going through it too.”
Antoine nodded. “So I owe him, not just for the warning that has helped me keep the bloodlust at bay for far longer than he was able... but because of what came after.”
His throat closed, emotions squeezing it as memories bombarded him. He shut his eyes and frowned, struggling against them as they swept over him, crashing through his mind. Pain tore at his heart, until it felt as though it was going to kill him. He gritted his teeth and curled over. He couldn’t do this. He had been wrong. He still couldn’t talk about what had happened.
Sera frowned and cupped his cheek, her palm warm against his face. Her steady heart sounded in his ears, soothing and calming him, giving him something to focus on as he battled his pain. She stroked his face, fingers soft against him, tender, conveying her concern. Her other arm settled across his back, hand curling around his shoulder. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to the shoulder closest to her and he wished he could feel her lips on his flesh, not his shirt.
“What happened?” Her hand fell from his face to his chest. He slowly opened his eyes and looked across at her. She stared down at her hand on his chest, her heart beating wildly now, as though she could see through his bloodstained shirt to his scarred flesh and was piecing things together for herself. “Did it have something to do with what happened to you? Did someone hurt you and make Snow lose control?”
Antoine laughed scornfully. “No.”
He stood and paced across the room, needing the space.
“I was so busy looking for Anya that I didn’t see the warning signs. Snow had confessed the depth of what he was going through. He had confided in me and I should have dropped everything so I could help him. Instead I was chasing after a ghost.”
He reached out with his senses, across the corridor and into Snow’s room. His brother was peaceful, at rest, and the depth of it surprised him. There was something in Lilah’s lullabies after all.
“Snow had a bad night.”
“How bad?” That question was cautious, wary, and conveyed that Sera knew just how badly he meant but she needed to hear him say it.
There was no way she could imagine the carnage he had witnessed.
Antoine turned towards her, weak from the grip that memories of that night had on his heart and his mind.
“A waking nightmare.” Those two words fit the scenes playing out in his head so perfectly.
Sera reached out to him and he went to her, slipping his hand into hers and allowing her to lure him down to sit on the edge of the bed. She placed her arms around him and he didn’t shirk her, just soaked up the comfort she offered and wondered what heavenly being had placed her on this Earth and brought her into his life. It felt as though she had been made for him.
“I have never told anyone this. Not even Snow knows the full story... although I suspect he remembers more than he admits.”
She didn’t tense. She started a slow motion of her hand over his back, stroking and soothing, calming his pain so he could speak.
Why did it feel so right to confide all of this in her? He had held it inside him for so long now. Everyone knew he and Snow had no other family but no one had ever questioned why. No one but he and his brother knew what had happened that night at their family mansion.
“What you saw tonight... that is Snow on a good day.” He rested his head on her slender shoulder, seeking more comfort and warmth from her. He felt cold. He could still feel the icy blast of snow that had cut him to the bone that wintry night. He could still see the freshly fallen powder stained dark with blood. The place that had been such a core part of his life, full of happiness and security, love and warmth, had become a terrible vision of horror that had tainted his memories of his time there. Both his future and his past had been destroyed that night. “I came home late. It was barely a few hours before dawn. It was snowing heavily and the grounds seemed strangely quiet... the sort of quiet that sends the hairs on the back of your neck standing on their ends and triggers your senses to high alert.”
“God, Antoine... Snow didn’t—” She cut herself off, as though voicing her conclusion was too horrific, let alone hearing him confirm that it was right.
“There was no sign of the carnage from the front of the house but on entering it I found a bloodbath. My family, from my cousins’ children to my aunts and uncles, all savaged to the point where I could no longer recognise any of them. I had thought it was hunters, but the attack was too brutal. Werewolves crossed my mind next. I heard a noise outside, coming from the back of the house. Every room I passed through to reach it was... I do not think I need to say.” Antoine closed his eyes against the pain and focused on the soothing motion of Sera’s hand across his back. She was so warm and compassionate, taking away his hurt with her touch as though she was absorbing it into herself so he didn’t have to suffer. What strange magic had she worked
on him to bring him to his knees so quickly? It was too late now to turn back. He would confess all, would confide these terrible things in her so she could witness the full brutality of his past and would know of what he too was capable. “I found Snow trampling through the roses, drenched in blood, dragging our mother’s corpse behind him. He was looking for something. I wasn’t sure what it was until he turned and spotted me. Then I knew with chilling certainty that he was seeking more blood.”
Sera stopped breathing, the motion of her hand against his back ceasing too.
She was still for too long. He needed to hear her speak, needed the reassurance that came with her steady caress.
He jumped and his heart lodged in his throat when she flung her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tightly, her face buried in the crook of his neck. “My God, Antoine... your brother did those things to you.”
Antoine tamped down the sharp wave of pain that threatened to tear through every scar on his body, unwilling to surrender to the past and afraid that the intensity of it would wake Snow. His brother needed his rest. He had vowed that night that he would do all in his power to ensure that Snow never suffered like that again, a slave to his bloodlust, mindlessly killing and unaware of what he was doing as he gorged himself.
“He did not mean to. It wasn’t him who attacked me that night. It was the sickness that festers within him.”
Sera tightened her hold on him. “He said something like that to you earlier. I heard him.”
“He means it,” Antoine said on a sigh. “I fought my brother and although he almost bested me, the familiar scent of the blood he was spilling and the sound of my voice eventually reached him. I brought him back but I didn’t have the heart to do the right thing, not even when he begged.”
“He wanted you to kill him.” There was sorrow in her voice. He felt it in his blood too, but it was his sadness not hers.
“Was it cruel of me to refuse such a request? I forced him to promise me that he would never take his own life in payment for what he had done to me, and to our family. He was all that I had, and I love him. It was not Snow who wrought such horrific destruction that night. It was his bloodlust. I told him that, countless times. I promised him that together we would master it and he would be free again. I mean to keep that promise.”
“You didn’t want to be alone.” Those words were whispered but each screamed in his ears as though she had shouted them.
There was a time once when he had convinced himself that he had refused Snow because he had wanted to help his brother and save his life. That honourable intention had faded and worn over the years to reveal the uglier truth beneath.
He hadn’t wanted to continue in this world alone, bearing the horror of what he had witnessed and what he had done. He hadn’t wanted to kill his own flesh and blood, the brother who was everything to him, who he had looked up to all his life and loved more than anything in the world.
“I did not want to be alone,” Antoine echoed, empty inside as the truth of it sank in. “So I made Snow suffer. I cannot lose him, Sera.”
“I know.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead and he sat back, wanting to look into her soothing forest green eyes and see in them that she didn’t think he was despicable for the things he had done and she didn’t fear the darkest part of him that would inevitably surface one day. He needed to see that she knew what she was getting in to by choosing to be with him, before this went any further.
Sera smiled softly, her eyes full of understanding, overflowing with compassion and concern.
“You need to save him, not only because he is your brother and you love him, but because you need to know that you too can be saved.”
Wise woman. She had seen through the mask of one intention to the others that lay hidden beneath.
“You are not your brother, Antoine.” She stroked his cheek and then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He wanted to drown in her then. Wanted to kiss her and make love with her in an attempt to lose himself and leave reality behind, forget everything they had talked about and the uncertainty of it all. Sera was good, and beautiful, and pure. Perhaps as Lilah could sway Snow from the darkest moments of his bloodlust, Sera could protect him from the demon completely and help him hold it at bay so he never suffered as his brother had.
Perhaps.
“Are you part fae?” He searched her eyes, looking for something magical in them, a spark of fae power. It was possible for a fae to mate with a human. Her ancestors might have passed it through her bloodline to her.
She laughed. “I don’t think so, why?”
Antoine brushed his fingers through the silken threads of her wavy ash blonde hair. “Whenever I look at you... whenever you touch me... I feel bewitched.”
Sera smiled. “I think that’s just plain old lust.”
He shook his head. “No... it is deeper than that.”
Her eyes widened. His did too. What he had said could be considered a sort of declaration, the kind that he had promised he would never make again. It was the closest he could ever come to saying the words all women liked to hear, and it was far too early for those sorts of feelings between them.
“Maybe you’ve just been alone too long.” Her smile became a wicked grin. “You need a woman’s touch and some company, and that’s all this has to be, Antoine, if that’s all you can give me.”
Antoine raked his gaze over her. She had to be part fae. A wicked sort of one. It would explain that aura of innocence she wore to mask her naughty side.
A side he wanted to become more acquainted with.
A side that was addictive.
She was willing to let this end.
He wasn’t.
Now that he’d had a taste of her, not just her body but her warmth and the beauty of her nature, he wasn’t willing to let her go.
Antoine placed his hands flat on the bed and kissed her, leaning forwards at the same time, driving her backwards until her head hit a deep red pillow.
She had sealed her fate by seducing him and there was no turning back, no matter what happened.
She was his now.
CHAPTER 9
Sera lay on the bed beside Antoine, watching him sleep. The crimson silk bedclothes rode low on his hips, revealing a delicious muscular ridge that ran over his hip and downwards under the covers. Her gaze followed the deep brown curls back up to the sensual dip of his navel. She wanted to lick that hollow. Had a few times already. Antoine laughed and told her to stop whenever she dipped her tongue into it.
It was hard to believe that the man lying next to her was the same one she had watched interacting coldly with others, keeping his distance. He had changed so much since three nights ago when Snow had lost himself to a fit of bloodlust and Antoine had told her things that had left her feeling honoured, touched, and a little bit in love with him. That he had never told anyone else the story of his past and what Snow had done, and had chosen to confide it all in her, still had her reeling to a degree. He had lived through so much darkness and terror. It made her want to give him light and love.
She gently brushed her fingertips across his brow and trailed them down the angular curves of his cheek to his jaw. He frowned and then sighed in his sleep. If he woke before midnight, it would surprise her. She felt worn out from their last bout of lovemaking, was tired to the bone and in need of sleep, but the sight of him kept her awake.
He frowned again.
Snarled.
His lips peeled back to reveal fangs.
Sera scooted backwards when he began to thrash side to side. He kicked at the covers, clawed at the pillows, and came close to hitting her.
“Antoine?” Sera got to her knees, nude in the middle of the bed. He snarled again and lashed out. She evaded his wild swings and grabbed his wrists, wrestling with him. The tighter she held him, the more he fought. He was too strong. Her heart pounded, eyes glued to his face as he growled. It was no longer fury in that thick snarl, but pain, endless agony that had h
er heart aching for him. What horrible things was he reliving in his sleep? Was it the night that Snow had butchered their family and tried to kill him?
He kicked out, catching the bedpost with his foot and making the whole frame shudder.
“Antoine!” Sera pushed down on his wrists in an attempt to pin him to the mattress but it only made him struggle harder. She didn’t know what to do. Whatever he was dreaming about, he wanted to fight it and therefore he would fight her. He lashed out with his feet again, one tangling in the sheets and the other smashing hard into the black wooden bedpost. He roared, his fangs enormous, and rolled his eyes. Crimson irises flashed as brightly as coals.
Her blood chilled and sank to her toes.
The mahogany door burst open and she turned wide eyes on the intruder. Snow’s pale blue eyes were equally as large.
“Devil, female, cover yourself and release him. You are only doing more damage than good.” He tossed the words at her on a dark commanding snarl and stalked into the room, the muscles of his broad bare torso shifting with each step, long legs tightly encased in black jeans.
Sera instantly grabbed the sheets, pulled them around herself, slipped off the bed and stood. Snow rounded the foot of the bed to the side opposite her, furthest from the door, his bare feet silent on the wooden floorboards, his gaze on his brother were he lay naked on the mattress, still tossing and turning. She kept her distance from Snow, torn between remaining near Antoine in case he needed her and maintaining a head start in case Snow turned violent.
Could she leave Antoine with him if he did?
No. She knew the answer to that question without even needing to think about it. She would protect Antoine no matter the risk. He had suffered enough for several lifetimes. She couldn’t let Snow hurt him. She wouldn’t let anyone hurt him.
“Is it bloodlust?” Those words trembled in the air between them for long seconds before Snow finally looked at her and shook his head.
“Just a nightmare, but not the sort I would recommend interrupting.” Snow placed his hand on Antoine’s forehead, his large palm and fingers easily spanning it. “Shh, Brother. All is well.”
Dark and Dangerous: Six-in-One Hot Paranormal Romances Page 97
