“Let me pay you for your time with Corey,” he said impulsively.
The mood instantly shifted. She stiffened, dropped her hand and stepped back. “I don’t need your charity.”
“This isn’t charity,” he insisted.
“Do you pay the parents of Corey’s other friends when he visits?”
“Well, no…”
She crossed her arms. “I rest my case.”
“I only want to do what’s right and fair for you.”
“If I didn’t like this arrangement, I wouldn’t have made it.”
He’d already known she was proud and now he could add stubborn to the list. Then again, if obstinacy hadn’t been an integral part of her character, she wouldn’t have come as far as she had.
Mac held up both hands. “OK. I won’t say another word about it.”
“Good.”
He shifted the focus of their conversation to defuse the tense moment and to clarify a few details. “You must have been a child bride if you have an eight-year-old daughter.”
“In a manner of speaking. I was eighteen when I got pregnant with Ronnie and once that happened, we decided to get married. Looking back, we shouldn’t have tied the knot, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time. What about you?”
He hadn’t spoken of Elsa for years, but he couldn’t expect Lori to share her past if he wasn’t willing to reciprocate.
“I met Elsa in college. We knew from our first date that we were meant to be together.” His throat tightened and he drank his cider.
“That soon?”
“Oh, yes. She was gorgeous. Not just outside, but inside, too. She was sweet, loving, funny, and it seemed as if she could read my thoughts, my moods. We were definitely on the same wavelength.”
“You were fortunate.”
“I was,” he admitted. “We got married in an elaborate affair before I entered medical school. She was a teacher, so she didn’t have any trouble finding a job. Everyone, especially her students, loved her. She was my whole life. My reason to get up in the morning.”
The familiar maudlin feeling was starting to descend and he willed it away. “She’d been advised not to get pregnant because she was a severe diabetic and had a heart defect, so we decided to adopt as soon as I finished my residency.”
“Best-laid plans,” she murmured.
“Exactly. The doctor advised her to terminate the pregnancy, but she refused. Things went better than we’d expected and we both started to feel as if everything would work out. As much as we loved each other, how could it not?”
He paused, waiting for the familiar pain to clutch his gut and close off his throat, but to his surprise he felt more sadness than heart-wrenching sorrow. “Toward the end, everything that could have gone wrong did. Then, during labor, she developed an amniotic embolism and died. I felt utterly helpless. Here I was, a physician, with the staff of an entire obstetrics department at my disposal, and I couldn’t do a thing.”
“You must have been devastated.”
“To put it mildly. My life, which had been perfectly on track, had turned upside down in a few hours.”
“Leaving you with a baby.”
He leaned against the counter and stared into the cloudy liquid in his cup. “I couldn’t stand the thought of having this helpless infant instead of Elsa.”
“So you blamed Corey.”
He nodded. “Like my in-laws blamed me. They refused to keep in contact, so I sent Corey to my sister’s and finished my training. For a while, I turned to alcohol, but it didn’t take long to realize that drinking in my spare time wasn’t the solution. My profession became my crutch instead.”
“What turned things around?”
“Six months after I finished my residency, my sister brought Corey back. She didn’t want to, but she told me that his place was with me.” He managed a weak grin. “She suggested that I stop working twenty-hour days and start living again now that I had a two-year-old depending on me.”
Lori smiled. “In other words, think about getting married.”
“How did you guess?”
“My sister tells me the same thing. Obviously, though, you didn’t.”
He shook his head. “I hired a nanny for the first few years.”
“And kept your same hectic schedule.”
Mac shrugged. “At first, I couldn’t bear to come home—the nanny wasn’t Elsa. By the time I got over those feelings, I’d made myself indispensable at the hospital. I couldn’t come home whenever I wanted because I had patients depending on me. Anyway, when my nanny quit, I found Martha.”
“You were lucky.”
“I was. I hope my next housekeeper can compare.”
“Actually, I was thinking of you and your wife. Not everyone gets the opportunity to share a love that’s so special. Even if it didn’t last the fifty or sixty years you’d planned, at least you were able to experience it for a little while.”
Her comment jolted him out of his melancholy mood. “Is that how you felt about your marriage?”
She stared at the floor tiles for a few seconds before she met his gaze. “No. If Ronnie hadn’t come along, we would have gone our separate ways long before we discussed weddings. He was having a tough time with his personal life and I felt sorry for him. Glenn said that he needed me and I was flattered and naÏve enough to think that I could save him from himself.
“My parents weren’t pleased by my decision, so we said our vows before a judge at the courthouse. My sister, Molly, and I baked a cake for our friends—that was the extent of our celebration.”
She heaved a deep breath. “So, no, I didn’t experience what you did in more ways than one. I’ll always regret missing out.”
“It could still happen.”
“Maybe, maybe not. I know one thing, though, if I’m fortunate enough to have a second chance, I won’t settle for anything less than what you had.”
“I guess that’s where we’re different,” he said slowly. “Even if I were willing, no other relationship could compare to what I had with Elsa. Not only that, but I refuse to go through that pain again.”
During those moments when the house was quiet and Ronnie was fast asleep across the hall, Lori had imagined a man like Mac filling those empty places inside her. Although she didn’t hold out any great hope for it to happen, hearing him plainly state that no other woman could measure up to his wife completely destroyed her fantasy.
Lori would have liked to have argued the point, to tell him that isolating himself wasn’t healthy, but he spoke as if his mind was made up and nothing she could say would change it. So she didn’t try.
He probably didn’t mean his rejection to be personal, but it certainly seemed so. Even without Mac’s description, she assumed Elsa had been as beautiful as her name—and a veritable saint—and Lori was, well, just Lori. She was the invisible girl-next-door, the behind-the-scenes gal who kept things running smoothly so that everyone else could enjoy themselves.
Thank goodness she hadn’t done anything foolish when he’d tried to comfort her. As it was, she’d probably let him see far more than he should have when she’d pressed his hand to her face. He’d never know how badly she’d wanted to feel his arms around her, because she didn’t want to strain their newlyformed friendship. He clung to his past love like a man hanging on a lifeline, and any perceived threat would only cause him to grip it tighter. He’d told her things that few others knew, and she didn’t want to jeopardize their fragile connection.
At least she understood why a chasm separated Mac from his son and why Mac was determined to remain single. Just as he anesthetized his patients against physical discomfort, he’d anesthetized himself to emotional pain by sealing off his heart.
Fortunately, Mac’s attitude toward Corey had changed and he was willing to modify his parenting ways, at least as far as his job would allow. If only she could ensure that he wouldn’t slide back into his old habits, regardless of his good intentions, once he hired the nex
t housekeeper.
“Please, don’t be angry with me for saying this,” she began, “but Corey needs someone more permanent in his life than a person who stays until they receive a better job offer.”
“He has me.”
“Yes, he does, but I’m worried more about what will happen when you find another Martha. Will you go back to spending your days and nights at the hospital? Will he take second place again?”
“At times, it’s going to be unavoidable,” he said defensively. “I’d like to promise that I’ll be home every night, but I can’t. My branch of medicine isn’t a nine-to-five job.”
“It’s not a question of once in a while,” she pressed on, determined to be Corey’s advocate. “I understand about sharing the on-call schedule. I’m just curious if you intend to cover the department by yourself.” Like you did before, she thought. In spite of having one partner and five CRNAs, Mac had pencilled his name on the calendar more often than not.
“As the one who is ultimately responsible for the entire service, I’m expected to put in more hours than everyone else, especially when there’s no one else to call upon.”
“Yes, but—”
“For the record, Josh and I are trying to make things more equitable, but it’s going to take time. Corey has to understand that and be patient.”
“I’m sure he is,” she began.
“I also realize we aren’t as close as we could be,” he admitted. “While our quantity of time together isn’t the same as what you and your daughter share, I’m trying to improve the quality. For now, it’s the best I can do.”
Lori felt duly chastised at his sharp tone. “I’m sorry,” she said stiffly. “I had no right to say anything. I just want Corey to be happy.”
His shoulders heaved with a sigh as if he regretted his outburst. He rubbed his face with one hand and when he spoke again, his voice was even. “Speaking of happy, Ronnie wants a father. Are you going to give her one?”
She hadn’t expected him to turn the tables. “When I find the right guy, she’ll have the father she’s always wanted. Until then, we’ll manage on our own.”
Once again, a pregnant pause descended until a girlish voice interrupted from the doorway. “Is it time to eat?”
Saved by a child, Lori thought, grateful for alwayshungry children. “It certainly is,” she said with a counterfeited heartiness. “By the time you two wash your hands, I’ll have dinner on the table.”
Unfortunately, she’d lost her appetite. She could only hope that she hadn’t lost her opportunity to look out for Corey’s interests as well.
CHAPTER FIVE
“THANKS for coming, Mrs Spillman,” Mac said as he ushered his latest applicant to the door. “I’ll get back to you in a few days.”
Hattie Spillman, a spry woman in her sixties, smiled benevolently at Corey. “I’ll be looking forward to your call. I did tell you that I’ll be gone Monday for the bank’s historic home tour.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And I mentioned that Tuesday morning is my bridge club.”
“Yes,” Mac said. “I remember.”
“Did I say something about needing Friday afternoons off for my weekly trip to the beauty shop?”
Mac struggled to keep from staring at her white hair, which looked as if she’d walked through a wind tunnel. “No, I don’t believe you did.”
“Oh, my. I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached. The mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be.” Her hands fluttered to the wisps hanging on her forehead. “Well, I couldn’t bear to lose my standing appointment with Carlton for a shampoo and set. Why, I know a woman who’s been on his waiting list for years. I’d be devastated if he gave my time slot to someone else.”
Mac opened the door. “We certainly wouldn’t want to be responsible for upsetting your routine.”
“How thoughtful. I wish my grandchildren felt the same. Did I mention that I have three?”
“Yes, you did.” Mac had the niggling suspicion that Corey would be the one looking after Hattie, instead of the other way around.
She bent down to tweak Corey’s cheek. “Such a delightful little boy. You won’t be any trouble at all, will you?”
“No ma’am,” Corey answered dutifully, although Mac could see the resentment shining in his eyes and tense line to his jaw as she pinched his skin with vigor. In the last two weeks, Mac had learned to read Corey as only a parent could, which had been rather enlightening. He’d never thought of Corey being particularly stubborn, but he’d seen evidence of it more often than he’d expected. Either Corey had matured to the point where he wanted more independence, or Mac had finally spent enough time with his son to see what had been under his nose all these years.
He suspected it was the latter.
In any event, Mrs Spillman needed to go because their chores were waiting. He and Corey had to spend what was left of their Sunday afternoon doing laundry and he wanted to catch up on a few back issues of The Anesthesiologist before playing the promised game of checkers.
Mac shook off his thoughts and bestowed a polite smile upon their guest. “As I said, I’ll be in touch.”
She stepped over the threshold. “I’ll be gone on Monday.”
“I won’t forget,” he promised as he started to close the door. “Goodbye.”
As soon as the latch clicked, Mac heaved a sigh, then glanced at Corey. “What did you think of her?” he asked.
Corey peered at him owlishly through his glasses. “Do you have to ask, Dad?”
Mac smiled as he gently caressed the red mark on Corey’s cheek. Where had the baby he remembered gone? It wouldn’t be long before Corey would be driving, shaving and, heaven forbid, dating. How could he possibly navigate those choppy waters without Elsa? Out of habit, he searched Corey’s face for traces of her and waited for the familiar stab of pain to hit on recognition. To his surprise, the eyes, the nose, the high cheekbones that he’d associated with his wife weren’t hers. They were Corey’s—a unique blend of both his parents.
It was a startling revelation, and one he wasn’t totally comfortable with, because he didn’t know what it meant. In fact, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know.
“Dad?”
Mac pulled himself back to the present. “Sorry. Does it hurt?”
“A little.”
“Want an ice pack?”
“It’s not that bad. I’m OK.” He cocked his head. “I hear the dryer buzzing.”
“Then we’d better take care of it, hadn’t we?” Mac replied.
A few minutes later, as Corey watched him fold his jeans, he asked, “Are you going to cross Mrs Spillman off your list?”
Mac smiled at Corey’s hopeful expression. “I’d say so. What did you think about Mrs Partridge?”
Corey grimaced. “I didn’t like the bird lady.”
“Bird lady?”
“Yeah. Partridge. Bird. Get it?”
“Ah, the bird lady. Well, I wouldn’t call her that to her face.”
“I’ll bet her students did,” Corey said, clearly convinced. “She even looks like a bird with her pointy nose and beady eyes.”
Mac saw the resemblance, but he was slowly running out of applicants. Perhaps it was time to focus on their good points rather than the bad ones. “Yes, but she could help you with your homework.”
“But did you hear her, Dad? She said the school curriculum has gone downhill since she left and that she’s going to make sure I learn everything I need to know. I don’t want to go to school when I get home.” Corey crossed his arms as a mulish set appeared on his face.
Of the three, Mrs Partridge was by far the best, but Mac had promised Corey that he wouldn’t hire anyone who wasn’t mutually agreeable. Perhaps he’d spoken too soon. He hadn’t dreamed that finding someone would be this difficult. In the past, he hadn’t interviewed more than three ladies before he’d found one who’d been suitable.
“What about Belinda Fabrizio?”
Corey shook his head
emphatically. “She spent all her time looking at you and asking what your schedule was. I don’t think she even noticed me.”
Belinda was a single woman in her mid-twenties. Her sultry smile and the way she batted her mascara-coated eyelashes had made him decidedly uncomfortable. He didn’t doubt for a second that hiring Ms Fabrizio would cause more trouble than she was worth, but if Corey had liked her, then he would have gritted his teeth and borne it.
By staying away from home again? For a moment, he wasn’t sure if his own conscience had been speaking, or if somehow, Lori could project her thoughts.
“I think you’re right,” Mac admitted. “So she’s out of the running.”
“Good. Then we’ll just have to keep looking.”
Mac saw a trace of satisfaction flit across Corey’s face and suddenly he knew without having a Ph.D. in psychology that he was being manipulated.
“You know, son, we can’t keep going like we have been.”
“Why not? Don’t you want to spend time with me any more?”
Mac inwardly winced at his son’s assessment of the situation. “It’s not that I don’t want to stay home with you. I have responsibilities at the hospital.” He thought of the work in his briefcase, waiting for his attention after Corey had gone to bed.
“But you’re the boss, Dad. You should deli—dela—” He paused. “There’s a word for it. It means when you give your jobs to other people so you don’t have to do them yourself.”
“Delegate?”
“That’s it.”
“And where did you hear that?” Mac asked, although he had his suspicions.
“From our teacher, Mrs Cooper. It’s one of our spelling words this week.”
Mac felt a little guilty for assuming that Lori might be undermining his efforts to find a housekeeper. She only had Corey’s best interests at heart. As determined as she was to draw the two of them closer, she wouldn’t pit his son against him.
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