by C. S Luis
“Claudia, you look beautiful,” Mr. Vasquez gasped, taking the words out of my mouth before I could offer them. For a moment I felt a trace of jealousy in my veins when he said that to her.
Mr. Claypool came forward in the same manner. “Now I feel out of place,” he said. “If I knew we were going to get all dressed up I would have just come straight here wearing my school slacks and dress shirt.”
Claudia smiled. “I just felt like getting dressed up for dinner,” she said, looking up at me. Had she gotten dressed up for me? I smiled again, the big, John Slater grin.
“You look very beautiful Miss Belle,” I said to her.
She lowered her head and whispered, “Thank you, Dr. Black.” Then she looked up again, and she blinked up at me, but I was still smiling big with that grin on my face. I couldn’t stop.
“You look beautiful too, Dr. Black,” she offered and then smiled. “I mean handsome.”
“Thank you, Miss Belle. I think we both had the same color in mind, wouldn’t you agree?” I said, referring to the maroon color of both our choice. She grinned and blushed.
“Dr. Black, so, we meant to ask, should we come in tomorrow? I know some of the teachers are not planning to,” Mr. Claypool began to say, interrupting my moment with Claudia. I didn’t want to talk about school, especially with all my attention and blood drained from my brain at that point. I wanted to forget my troubles and gaze upon that smile one last time, perhaps fearing it would be the last time I would see it.
“Can we discuss it later Mr. Claypool?” I said as Claudia came closer.
“You didn’t forget the wine, did you?” She asked me. I blinked. She had hypnotized me, and I hadn’t even realized it. Mr. Claypool seemed to grow silent, and he and Mr. Vasquez seemed to return to watching the game.
“Because it’s alright if you did,” she said, and I blinked curiously at her. “I had Michael pick up your favorite wine just in case,” she said, and my lip dropped.
“It’s Concannon right? It’s your favorite. There were a few kinds so he just grabbed the Crimson & Clover bottle.”
“That’s one of my favorites,” I uttered like a stupid teenage boy.
“I opened the white wine instead. I hope you don’t mind John,” Karen said as she walked into the living room. She handed me a glass of wine and drank from her own glass as I stared down at the glass of white zinfandel. Damn her and her bad timing.
“I’m not much for red wines,” she said. “Michael opened up a nice white wine. Try it; you’ll like it.”
Claudia wrinkled her eyes up at her; she seemed to be asking who invited this woman to dinner. I wanted to laugh. My thoughts were just the same. Besides I wasn’t much for white wine myself.
Karen seemed to ignore Claudia, pulling me away with her and then putting her glass down by the coffee table; I stopped as Karen dropped herself onto the sofa just as Claudia made a motion to leave the living room. I think Karen had irritated her.
“Claudia,” I called over to her. I didn’t want her to leave; in fact, I wanted to carry on my conversation with her, but I knew I couldn’t. How would that look? She seemed happy to have my attention again; she seemed to long for it. But I could only offer very little.
“Yes, Dr. Black?” She very excitedly said, and I felt a sudden guilt for being unable to continue our conversation.
“Thank you for the wine,” I said, and she smiled, and then Karen started talking.
“Thanks again for the flowers, John. But I really prefer tulips to daisies,” Karen suddenly said in regards to the flowers that I had bought for Claudia and not for her. I just wanted to turn and tell her she didn’t like them because they weren’t meant for her.
“John, remember Mrs. Whitney? You know her?” She again said. Claudia spun around and left the living room, and I looked after her and then settled beside Karen in disappointment with the glass in my hand.
16
Claudia
After Dr. Black left I helped Michael set the table early so that I could find a nice dress to wear before dinner. Yes, I was going to wear a dress. But for a strange reason I wanted to look my best this evening. I had one dress I had worn once; it was a pretty red dress, and now I was thinking about it as I set the nice china dishes on the table. Michael came in and stood at the kitchen entrance before I realized he was there.
“What?” I asked as I set the last dish down.
He smiled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine, Michael,” I said with a slight frown. Sometimes he made me feel like such a kid. God, I was almost nineteen.
“You know I worry about you,” Michael said; there he went again with his fatherly lectures. “I’m sorry I had to be tough on you.” I realized what he was getting at. “I know how much you wanted to go to that party, but…”
“Michael, please not right now,” I said. “Can we just enjoy this evening without talking about that?” Really, the party didn’t even matter anymore. What if he knew that I not only sneaked out but also caused that hole in the parking lot? God, if he only knew, he would probably board up my bedroom window.
“You understand I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”
I came to stand before him, simply because I had to get into the kitchen and get the rest of the forks and knives.
“Yes, I know…But you don’t have to treat me like a child. I’m almost nineteen,” I said, and he smiled. He seemed to utter something about, where has the time gone. I guess he was just starting to realize that.
I hated when he did that, like what I was saying was childish. He moved aside, realizing he was standing in my way. I opened the drawer and pulled out a few knives and forks, and as I turned he said, “Do you think we should invite Mr. Vasquez and Mr. Claypool? I feel like I’ve neglected them somehow.”
“But I thought it was just going to be Dr. Black and the two of us?” I offered.
He wrinkled his nose in thought. “You know, I think I’ll invite Ms. Stephens too.”
My mouth dropped; he hadn’t even paid attention to what I had said. I guess I didn’t mind if Mr. Claypool and Mr. Vasquez joined us. But Ms. Stephens, who was she?
“Ms. Stephens?” I uttered, walking back into the dining room as he counted the spots on the table.
“Claudia, be a dear and add another spot.”
“Michael,” I nearly shouted at him, and he looked up, confused as to why I was suddenly upset. “Who is Ms. Stephens?” I firmly asked. “And why are we inviting her?”
He seemed to have a hard time answering. “She’s the English teacher,” he very plainly answered. I wrinkled my eyes over at him, knowing there was more. “Oh, Claudia, I know how fond you are of Dr. Black.”
I blinked. What was he getting at? “He’s my friend,” I said, trying to understand where he was going with that.
“Well, I know honey, but I don’t want you to get mad if I invite Ms. Stephens.”
“Why would I get upset?” I asked, feeling more irritated by his words than anything.
“Well, because there might be a possibility that Dr. Black is dating her,” Michael said.
I nearly dropped the forks and knives. I wasn’t ready for that kind of reaction. Why were my hands trembling? “So, why should that bother me?” I asked, trying to concentrate on putting the forks and knives by each of the china plates, along with the napkins.
“Claudia,” Michael softly said. “I know you. You’re a very caring girl. I don’t want you to think that just because Dr. Black is dating or interested in Ms. Stephens that he’s no longer your friend.”
I wrinkled my eyes back at him. Why would I think that? I could feel a blush creeping up my neck. “Michael, come on. I’m no child. Why would it bother me?”
“Because you tend to get attached to people fairly easy. I just don’t want you to think…”
“Michael!” I cut him off. I wasn’t anything like that. Was I? “If you want to invite her, it’s fine with me,” I said, a
little resentfully.
He gazed back at me. “Are you sure?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Michael, I’m sure. Dr. Black would appreciate it,” I said, trying to swallow my pride. He nodded.
“Well, I’m done here,” I said politely. “I’m going to get dressed.”
Michael stared at me. “Dressed? But I thought you weren’t planning on dressing up?” Michael curiously asked.
“I think it’s only proper to dress up for dinner. It’s not often that we have a special dinner with friends,” I offered.
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You’re right. Okay, so go on then.”
I headed to the second floor and entered my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I thought about what Michael had said, about Dr. Black and Ms. Stephens. And I didn’t want to believe it. But how could Dr. Black be single? He was very handsome and very kind. God, and now I regretted my behavior days earlier when I had first met him. I knew he had forgiven me, but I still couldn’t forgive myself. It was just too embarrassing to even think about what I’d said to him.
I walked over to my closet and began picking through what I had. It had to be a dress, but I only had a couple of those. I had never liked wearing them. I think I had perhaps two, a red one and a maroon one. I had always loved red, and this one was as red as roses.
I plucked it from the closet and put it on the bed. Didn’t Dr. Black like red? No, I think it was blue that was his favorite color. It must be because he wore a lot of blue suits and ties. And they looked expensive and very nice. Well, I didn’t have any blue dresses.
Dr. Black was a sharp dresser; that was a fact. I still couldn’t understand what he was doing in Milton. He seemed so out of place here among the misfits and chaos. But I kind of liked it now; he was so nice and caring. The fact that he stood up for me when that man tried to get near me made me feel warm to think about. I had no uncle, just cruel people trying to cheat me of what money my parents and grandfather had left me. And I soon realized how much I missed my parents.
I walked over to the window of my bedroom; the sun was slowly going down even though it was only six. If dad were here we would be getting ready for Thanksgiving and planning our trip out of town like we always did. He would ask me where I wanted to go. It was after all my turn to pick the place; mom had done it last year. We had gone to Hawaii. But I wanted to go to New York.
I wondered what dad would say to that. I smiled. He’d probably say.
“New York? How about the tropics? Cancun or Europe?”
And I’d say, “Please.”
And he’d smile and say, “Of course baby, anything for my girl.”
He’d always say mom and I were his girls and that he’d do anything for us. God, I missed him just as I missed my mom. When I looked in the mirror, I could sometimes see her staring back at me from within my dark eyes. Dad always said I looked like mom, and mom agreed but said I also had dad’s smile.
My dad was a handsome man with blond hair and blue eyes; he was nothing like me. Did I really have the best of the gene pool as Dr. Black had said? My mom was very beautiful, Latin, the complete opposite of dad.
I rested my head on the window ledge and watched the sky for a moment; were they truly in heaven as the good book said? I wanted to believe they were still watching over me.
Dr. Black had offered to take me to New York. I wondered if he’d meant that. Then I wondered what Dad would say about Dr. Black. What would he think of him? I think mom would like him, but I doubted dad would. Dad could be blunt with his feelings, but mom, on the other hand, was submissive with hers.
My father had been a CEO in a financial firm, a very big one. As far as I knew, he had been in charge of a lot of money and worked a lot of hours. Mom and he would attend many fancy dinners and sometimes host them. I’d hated it. Dad was all business; he had to be tough and hard. I knew that because I had seen him in action when I had visited his office. I didn’t like when he was like that. He wasn’t a very nice person when he was at work. I would give him a certain look, and he’d say, “Please don’t look at me like that baby.” But I couldn’t help it.
The night was cold, and a breeze blew in through the window. I knew that dad would hate Dr. Black. I just knew it. I didn’t know why, but I knew he would. Mom would say because Dad was a very jealous person. It was then I realized that perhaps Dr. Black was a little like my Dad. Perhaps just a little.
I walked away from the window and into the room, looking down at the dress that I had chosen for the evening. I meant to go back into the closet and find a pair of shoes when I suddenly felt something come alive in me.
Suddenly thoughts of him filled me, not of my parents or of Dr. Black but of him. Only now that my thoughts drifted towards him did I wonder why I hadn’t spent any time considering his invitation.
“Have you considered my offer, my pet?” I heard a voice say from behind; when I spun around, he was standing there by the window, perched like a bird upon the ledge.
He leaped down and walked forward into the room, coming fairly quickly towards me. I had no time to react as he now was within inches of me, nearly touching my lips with his. His body was so close that I could feel his warmth, and he looked intoxicated, staring down at me with the eyes of a madman, hungry to approach but unable to.
“Quentin?” I hissed; my heart was beating wildly in my chest like a train. What would Dad say about him?
“Does it matter?” He hissed, taking hold of my chin.
“I’ve missed you. I couldn’t bear being away from you for so long,” he admitted, looking lost and intoxicated by the feel of my skin.
Immediately I wanted to be in his arms flying through the sky like he had taken me to do once before. I wanted to be there again, in the world he knew, in the world he ruled. I felt faint, weakened by his presence, and I wanted nothing else but to be with him.
“Come away with me,” he again said, and I turned away. “Why do you resist me?” He turned my face back towards him. “I want you, and it’s obvious you want me as well,” he hissed, inching closer.
I pulled away and nervously moved a few steps from him.
“Why do you shun me?” He again asked, and he came closer. I could feel his breathing, and it seemed he couldn’t resist me, just as I couldn’t resist him at times, but yet I fought the pull.
“Why me?” I softly asked, turning to face him and quivering when I found him very closely facing me. His hypnotizing dark, large eyes were staring madly at me.
“Because we belong together. Don’t you feel the connection between us, my pet? You’re mine just as I’m yours.” He put a hand to my cheek. “Let me take you away from all of this.”
I held onto his hand, but this time he was the one that pulled away and walked to stand by the window. “I must leave soon. I can no longer stay here,” he suddenly said. “But I want you by my side.” He approached me, narrowing his eyes over at me again. “All you have to do is let me.” He stood before me, and he lifted my chin. “Let me make you mine, and you’ll never be alone, never be sad, and never be afraid.”
I felt the butterflies spinning in my stomach.
“Just come away with me,” he said, and his eyes were smiling back at me. “You’ll never be lonely again.”
There was suddenly a knock at the door, and I whirled around, startled as I heard Michael outside. I looked back, but Quentin was gone, and only the breeze was coming in through the window, blowing my curtains. I rushed to the window, but I couldn’t find him.
“Come to me, my pet!” I only heard the wind whisper. “Come to me. I’ll be waiting…you know where. I’ll be there waiting…”
Then it was gone, and Michael was knocking hard. “Claudia?”
I came and opened the door, and he was standing looking in.
“Why didn’t you answer when I called?” He asked.
I felt my face burning. “I was in the bathroom.”
God, I was a bad liar, but he bought it and said, “Well,
are you ready yet?” I gave him a frown. “What have you been doing for the past thirty minutes?” He paused. “You know what, never mind. I know how you girls are about finding the right outfit. Will you mind watching for our guests while I get ready?”
“But Michael, I’m not finished.” I said, glaring up at him.
“I won’t take long,” he offered and hurried through the open door of his bedroom, shutting it behind me. Frowning, I headed down the stairs but not before grabbing the red dress on my bed to admire it while I waited downstairs.
My mind was briefly on Quentin, and then like as if he had never been there, my mind regained its original thought process. It seemed that when he was around I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but him. And once he was gone it felt like I could easily push the thoughts of him out of my mind. I didn’t understand that at all. But I feared my weakness, my struggle to resist him.
The thought of my parents had given me strength; Daddy was there, helping me fight. I wanted him so badly and feared him at the same time. I feared the moment when I wouldn’t be able to fight him or resist him.
“Daddy can’t stop me,” he hissed and laughed. “I want you and you want me; you just haven’t realized it yet.”
I trembled, hurrying into the kitchen and trying to think of something else when I saw the red wine on the kitchen counter. Dr. Black liked this wine, and I hoped it was the one he loved. I continued trying to distract myself with sampling the mashed potatoes and other dishes until the doorbell rang. From where I was standing I could see it was Mr. Vasquez and Mr. Claypool. I jumped from out of the kitchen and hurried towards the doorway to greet them. I could hear Michael from the second floor yell to me to get the door.
