I do as he asks, trying hard not to show my disappointment. I thought I would be able to touch and kiss him when I wanted to as long as it was behind closed doors. Obviously, I was wrong. I pull myself together and tell him to go ahead and tell me everything.
“First off, this is your salary for the project.” He writes something on a post it note and slides it across his desk to me. I pick it up and look at it. My eyes go wide when I see the number on there.
“Are you sure about this, Ryan? I think this is too much.”
“It’s not too much. You’re worth it. No one else has even come close to understanding the project and what I want. The things you told me last night were perfect.”
“Thank you. I was hoping I was on the right track.”
“You are. Now, moving on. The building is well under way and should be done in the next three months. I would like to have a list from you ASAP of your inside structural needs so that they can incorporate those as they go. I’m going to have someone from the secretarial pool take over answering the phones for you, but I would like you to continue to answer and screen my emails if you think you can still do that.”
“I can handle it. You aren’t going to hire a new assistant?”
“No. Once the Seattle project is over, I don’t have anything big that I can assign you to for a few months at least. You’re doing a great job, and I want you to keep working for me in between interior design projects. I will assign you to as many small ones as I can, but it won’t be a lot of work for you. Are you alright with that?”
“Yes, yes I am Ryan. Thank you so much.” I give in to my urge and run around the desk to hug him and place a kiss on his lips. He responds for a minute but then pulls back.
“You should get back to your desk, Chloe. I’ll have Ellen from H.R. notify you when the official papers are ready for you to sign.” I start to move away. “One more thing. I need you to send a dozen red roses to Cel. Here’s the message to put on them and her address.” He writes something on the paper and then takes out his phone to look up her address. He writes that down, too, and hands me the paper.
Cel, I’m sorry about the night at KA. I’ll make it up to you soon. You can pick the place next time. Ryan.
I feel like such a fool as tears start to form in my eyes. I know he told me he only wanted sex, but I thought that I was getting through to him. I quickly turn away and walk out. I drop the paper onto my desk and go across the hall to the single bathroom, where I lock myself in and let the tears fall.
I don’t know if I can do this. If I can sit by and watch Ryan date another woman openly in front of me. But that’s exactly what he had to do in Chicago. He had to watch me pretend to be with that bastard, Adam. That was pretend, though. I know he’s been dating other women while we’ve been sleeping together. He hasn’t thrown it in my face until today, though.
What if he wants a relationship with this Cel woman? I start to freak out as I remember what I left in his office for him. Oh God, what was I thinking? It’s too late now. I did it and if he gets mad, so be it. I clean up my face and go back to my desk, placing the flower order.
* * *
Ryan
I can’t concentrate on work. I feel like shit. I saw Chloe’s tears even though she turned away quickly. I thought I could get control back if I hurt her. That it would make me feel better. Control I started losing when I saw her sitting at her desk when I walked into the office. She was concentrating so hard, and it melted my heart a little more, knowing that she wants to do a good job for me.
Then she walked into my office in that square neck, sleeveless pink dress. The top looked like it was molded to her slim frame and small, perfect breasts. And the skirt flared out. I knew that if I pushed it up, I would find a sexy, lacy thong under there. I wanted to throw her on top of my desk and make her come again. When she came around my desk before I could stop her and kissed me, I wanted to hold her tight, but I needed to remind us both of the boundaries. This can only be about sex. It has to be only about sex
I notice that my day planner is on the wrong day and flip the page. There’s a small piece of paper taped to the center.
Reason #1 that I LOVE YOU: You let me keep your shirts so I can smell you when I fall asleep, and then again when I wake up in the morning.
It takes me a minute to catch my breath. Chloe must have left this in here before I came in. And then I had her send flowers to another woman. Fuck, this is bad. She laid it all out there for me, and I just stomped all over her heart. Yeah, she did that to me in the past, but I didn’t need to be the kind of asshole who insists on returning the favor. She seems sincere when she says that she wants a second chance and I know that Yasmin gave Scott another chance when he needed it. Now they’re happier than anyone I know other than my parents.
But I don’t know if I can trust her again, especially when the things she says sometimes make me think that she’s hiding something important from me. That’s why I’ve insisted on it just being sex between us while I date other girls. I can handle sex.
I need to do something for her, though. I can’t tell her that I love her. Even though if I’m honest with myself, I know I do. I have to hold onto that for now. I won’t let myself be taken in by her again. I told her I’m not that kid any longer and I meant it.
I can’t just ignore the note. Then it comes to me. I remember seeing these little books at Yasmin’s book store. One was someone writing about why they love someone, but the other one was about why someone was awesome. I can do that. I can tell Chloe why I think that she’s awesome.
I write it out and walk out of my office to her desk so I can give it to her. I step in front of her desk and wait for her to acknowledge me. “I ordered the flowers. They promised to deliver them immediately.”
“Thanks, but that’s not why I came out here.” I’m interrupted by my cell phone ringing.
* * *
Chloe
Ryan looks down at his phone and seems to debate answering it. He looks at me and then accepts the call, putting the phone to his ear. “Hi Cel. Did you get the flowers?” He listens and then responds. “I can’t onSaturday. My parents are having a company party at our house.” Another pause. “No, I don’t have a date. I’ll pick you up at 6:30. Do you want to go to another show tonight? How about Love?” His face lights up with a smile. “I can’t wait to see what you pick out to wear. I’ll see you then.”
I’m trying really hard to hold it together while my heart is breaking. Again. I remind myself that this is my fault. I came to Las Vegas knowing Ryan probably wouldn’t take me back. Now, I need to accept that and try to move on. At least I have this job. “What did you need to see me about, Ryan?” I ask him, forcing my voice to sound steady.
He looks sheepish and somewhat remorseful. “I wanted to give you this.” He drops a piece of paper on my desk and then walks quickly back into his office and closes the door. I look down and am shocked by what I see.
Reason # 1 that I think you are AWESOME: You like to sleep in my shirts (and you look damn sexy in them).
Talk about mixed signals. Ryan just made a date with another woman in front of me, and then he gives me this. WTF? I thought I could do this, but I’m not so sure. The lines are blurring too much. If he just wants sex, then why is he giving me something like this? But, if he wants more, why is he dating someone else and flaunting it in front of me. I drop my head to my desk.
“Are you okay, Chloe?” I look up and see Alex in front of me.
I’m happy to see her, and I smile at her. “Alex! Yes, I’m fine. Just trying to figure something out.” I stand up and hug her. “I’ve missed you so much!”
“I missed you too. Thank you for sending me the basket of movies and chocolate when my parents died. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t. Uncle Ryan was so hurt when you broke up with him. I had to be on his side. But I missed having you to talk to.”
“I’m glad that you liked the basket. I thought that it would be better than flowe
rs. I understand why you couldn’t call me, but I’m glad that you came to see me today.”
“I wanted to go to the guest house and see you sooner, but I didn’t know if that would be okay because I didn’t talk to you for so long.” She looks down at her shoes. and I want to rid her of her embarrassment.
“Alex, you can always come see me or call me. No matter what.”
“Grandma said that you would feel that way. She thinks you must have had a reason for leaving Uncle Ryan before. Did you?”
“Yes, I did, Alex. I love your uncle more than anything, and I wouldn’t have left him if I had had a choice.”
“Can you tell me why you did it?”
“I wish I could, Alex, but I made promises that I have to keep.”
“I understand, but if you ever want to tell me, I will listen. Just like you always listened to me when I needed a girl closer to my age to talk to.” She looks nervous as she continues. “I was hoping to talk to you about something if you have time.”
“I always have time for you. Do you want to go grab a coffee downstairs?”
“Actually, I have to be at Yasmin’s book store soon for my volunteer shift. I was hoping you could take me, and we can talk on the way.”
“Scott’s Yasmin? I was hoping to meet her soon, and I would love to take you. Let me just ask Ryan if I can leave.”
“You can take her,” Ryan says from behind me.
“Hi Uncle Ryan!” Alex runs behind me to give him a hug.
“Hi honey!” He hugs her tight. “You need Chloe, huh? I remember when the two of you used to be holed up in her room for hours. She wouldn’t let me in until you were done. Is that going to start happening again?”
“Are you two back together? I mean, I know Chloe is living in Uncle Scott’s old place and working here, but I didn’t know about the two of you!” Alex is so excited that I feel bad about having to burst her bubble.
“There’s nothing to know, Alex. We aren’t getting back together. Ryan is seeing someone, though. You’ll get to meet her at the party on Saturday.” Ryan looks at me with a stunned expression, and Alex just looks sad. I feel sad, but I won’t let it show. “Now come on, let’s get you to the book store on time. Thanks for letting me take her, Ryan.”
“Of course Chloe.” He says in a tight voice. I look up in surprise and see him clenching his jaw. What’s wrong with him? I don’t have time to figure it out as Alex grabs my arm and guides me out of the office.
* * *
Ryan
Well, I totally fucked everything up today. First, I made Chloe send Cel flowers. Then, I try to make it up to her with something sweet, only to end up inviting Cel to be my date to the party this weekend and to Love in front of her. Then I make Alex think that we’re back together only to have Chloe tell her that I’m seeing someone. Because I led her to believe that Cel means more to me than she actually does.
What the hell is wrong with me? I need to decide if I want her back completely in my life or not. I can’t keep doing this back and forth thing. It’s not fair to either of us. As much as I want to make her suffer for what she did to me, I don’t have it in me to keep trying to be that kind of guy. And as I think those thoughts, I know what I want. Who I want. It’s Chloe. It’s always been her. It’s time for me to give her that second chance. I need to tell her that. I’lldo it tomorrow, though. I think she may be too upset to listen to me today. Now I just need to cancel my dates for tonight and Saturday.
After I’ve explained to Cel that I can’t see her anymore and that I’m sorry for leading her on, I think about what I’ll say to Chloe. I know she’ll be happy for us to be together again, but I still need to make up for my behavior. I may have felt like it was warranted, but I shouldn’t have hurt her on purpose. This isn’t a contest. It’s our life. Our love. I decide to stop and pick out some flowers for her, too. She more than deserves them. With my plan in place, I spend the rest of the afternoon working, knowing that I’ll be back together with Chloe for real starting tomorrow. I can’t wait to see her and tell her how I feel.
Chapter 5
Chloe
Listening to Alex and trying to help her sort out her problems with the girls at school is keeping me distracted from my heartache over Ryan and his date on Saturday. “So, this girl Meg is saying that Rose can’t be part of your group because she doesn’t have a lot of money?”
“Yeah, but, I really like Rose.”
“Then you know what you need to do. Is being part of this group of mean girls really that important to you?”
“No, it’s not. Meg is a bitch to almost everyone and seems like she just wants to borrow my clothes all the time. I thinks she likes me more for my closest than for me.”
“See. You knew what to do without even asking me.” I smile at her. She’s grown into an amazing young woman since I saw her last. I always knew she would.
“Talking to you always makes it easier for me to come to the right decisions. I’m going to call Rose when I get home and invite her to the party this weekend. Maybe she can bring her older sister. She’s a student at UNLV and Rose said that she never gets to have any fun since she’s worried about her grades.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
We pull into the parking lot, and I’m surprised to see a mural covering the front of the bookstore. I know immediately that it is Owen’s work. I grew up with him and have seen his work all of my life. “Wow, Owen did a mural here?”
“Yeah. It’s really cool, isn’t it?”
“It is.” The mural depicts people sitting and reading, while books fly in the air all around them. The name of the bookstore, I Heart Books, as well as butterflies are coming out of the flying books.
“Come on inside so you can meet everyone!”
“Everyone?”
“Yasmin, Erika and Sam are all working. Plus, I see Candi’s car, so you can meet her, too!”
She’s excited to have me meet her friends, and I can’t help but smile. “I can’t wait.”
We go in, and I see four women standing by the cash registers. They are all stunning, and they seem so comfortable with each other, laughing at something without looking self-conscious. I’ve never had friends that I was that close to other than the Griffin boys and their sister, Erin. She was Alex’s mom. Erin and her husband Dave were murdered a little over a year ago. The killer was Scott’s ex-girlfriend. Yasmin helped him through one of the roughest times in his life. My dad said that she’s a good woman, and I can’t wait to meet her.
“Hi everyone! This is my friend, Chloe.” I smile at them as I walk up.
“Hi Chloe. I’m Yasmin. It’s great to meet you. These are my friends Erika, Sam and Candi.”
I greet everyone and then Alex goes off to work while they ask me how I like Vegas, and if I miss my friends. “I don’t have any friends to miss,” I tell them honestly.
“Who do you confide in or ask for advice?” Erika asks me.
“Honestly, no one. The only people I have ever been close to are the Griffins. I used to confide everything to Ryan, but then I had to leave him, and there was no one.”
“Had to leave him? You left him for someone else didn’t you? That’s what Scott said, at least,” Yasmin says, looking at me curiously.
“You left Ryan for someone else? Girl, that other guy must be incredible because Ryan Griffin is an Adonis come to life,” Candi tells me. “If I wasn’t already interested in someone else, I would totally try to get that man into my bed.”
“That someone else is Owen, by the way,” Yasmin says with a laugh as Candi glares at her. “But seriously, why did you leave Ryan? He’s a great guy.”
“He is the best guy. I-I had my reasons.”
“But, you’ve never been able to talk about it, have you? I mean you said you’ve had no one to confide in.” Sam looks at me and I shake my head. “We’re all good listeners and know how to keep a secret.”
“Yeah. We have a girls night planned for Thursday night at m
y place if you’d like to come over. We usually drink margaritas, watch a 90s romantic comedy, and talk. If you want to unburden yourself or get advice, like Sam said, we can keep a secret.” I can tell Erika’s sincere, and I’m really tempted.
“Thanks for the offer. I’m not sure I can talk about it yet, but I’d love to hang out with you guys if that part of the offer still stands.”
“Of course you’re still welcome. I understand how it would be weird to tell us your secrets after just meeting us, but I care about Ryan and would love to help you out,” Yasmin tells me.
“Even if I could tell you, you couldn’t tell Scott.”
“That would be rough. I try not to keep any secrets from him.”
“I understand that, but this is something that can’t get out. I would love to have been able to tell Ryan. We’d be together right now if I could.”
“I’m trying to wrap my head around all this, but you’re not making it easy.”
“I know.”
And I do know. But it can’t be helped. I say goodbye to everyone, hugging Alex and reminding her to call me if she needs me. I head back home since Ryan has texted to let me know I should take the rest of the day off. As usual, I have no idea if I should be happy or worried. I used to know him so well, but now he’s hot and cold so often that I feel like I may get whiplash trying to keep up. I’m looking forward to being with the girls on Thursday. If it works out, I’ll finally have some girlfriends to talk to and maybe shop with.
* * *
Ryan
I picked up white roses for Chloe on the way to work. They’re her favorite. I can’t wait to see her. Now that I’ve made my decision, we can really be together. I’ve missed her so much these past few years. She was my best friend, as well as the love of my life. We used to watch movies, laugh together, and just have fun. We told each other everything and helped each other make hard decisions.
Like when her mom died. My whole family was there to support her, John, and her sister, Addy. But, while I care for John and Addy, I was there for Chloe alone that day. I kept people away from her when she needed to be alone and held her as she cried at the edge of her mom’s grave. When the gathering at my house became too much for her, I carried her up to my room and fell asleep with her.
Building Our Love (Griffin Brothers #2) Page 4
