And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And I for no woman.
SILVIUS It is to be all made of faith and service81,
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And I for no woman.
SILVIUS It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion and all made of wishes,
All adoration, duty, and observance88,
All humbleness, all patience and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance,
And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE And so am I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO And so am I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND And so am I for no woman.
To Rosalind
PHOEBE If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
To Phoebe
SILVIUS If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ORLANDO If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ROSALIND Who do you speak to? ‘Why blame you me to love
you?’
ORLANDO To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
ROSALIND Pray you no more of this. ’Tis like the howling
of Irish wolves against the moon.—
To Silvius
I will help you if I can.—
To Phoebe
I would love you, if I could.
To all
Tomorrow meet me all together.—
To Phoebe
I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I’ll
be married tomorrow.—
To Silvius
I will content you, if what pleases you contents you,
and you shall be married tomorrow.—
To Orlando
As you love Rosalind, meet.—
To Silvius
As you love Phoebe, meet.— And as I love no
woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well:
I will satisfy108 you, if ever I satisfied man, and you
To Orlando
shall be married tomorrow.—
I have left you commands.
SILVIUS I’ll not fail116, if I live.
PHOEBE Nor I.
ORLANDO Nor I.
Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 3
running scene 11 continues
Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey
TOUCHSTONE Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey: tomorrow
will we be married.
AUDREY I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is no
dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world4. Here
come two of the banished duke’s pages.
Enter two Pages
FIRST PAGE Well met, honest6 gentleman.
TOUCHSTONE By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song.
They sit
SECOND PAGE We are for you. Sit i’th’middle.
FIRST PAGE Shall we clap into’t roundly, without hawking9 or
spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only10 prologues
to a bad voice?
SECOND PAGE I’faith, i’faith, and both in a tune12, like two gypsies
on a horse.
Song
It was a lover and his lass,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o’er the green cornfield did pass
In the spring-time, the only pretty ring-time17,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
And therefore take20 the present time,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
For love is crownèd with the prime22
In spring-time, etc.23
Between the acres of the rye,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie
In spring-time, etc.
This carol28 they began that hour,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower
In spring-time, etc.
TOUCHSTONE Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no
great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable33.
FIRST PAGE You are deceived, sir: we kept time, we lost not our
time.
TOUCHSTONE By my troth, yes: I count it but time lost to hear
such a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your voices!
Come, Audrey.
Exeunt
Act 5 Scene 4
running scene 12
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia
DUKE SENIOR Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promisèd?
ORLANDO I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,
As those that fear they hope and know they fear.
Enter Rosalind, Silvius and Phoebe
ROSALIND Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged5:
To Duke Senior
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, you will
bestow her on Orlando here?
DUKE SENIOR That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
To Orlando
ROSALIND And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?
ORLANDO That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
To Phoebe
ROSALIND You say, you’ll marry me, if I be willing?
PHOEBE That will I, should I die the hour after.
ROSALIND But if you do refuse to marry me,
You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
PHOEBE So is the bargain.
To Silvius
ROSALIND You say, that you’ll have Phoebe, if she will?
SILVIUS Though to have her and death were both one thing.
ROSALIND I have promised to make all this matter even18.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter,
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.
Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me,
Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd.
Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her
If she refuse me. And from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
Exeunt Rosalind and Celia
DUKE SENIOR I do remember in this shepherd boy
Some lively touches of my daughter’s favour27.
ORLANDO My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
Methought he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutored in the rudiments31
Of many desperate32 studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey
Obscurèd in the circle34 of this forest.
JAQUES There is, sure, another flood toward35, and these
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very
strange beasts, which in all tongues37 are called fools.
TOUCHSTONE Salutation and greeting to you all!
JAQUES Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-39
minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He
hath been a courtier, he swears.
TOUCHSTONE If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
&n
bsp; purgation. I have trod a measure43, I have flattered a lady, I
have been politic with my friend, smooth44 with mine enemy, I
have undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like45
to have fought one.
JAQUES And how was that ta’en up47?
TOUCHSTONE Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon
the seventh cause.
JAQUES How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
DUKE SENIOR I like him very well.
TOUCHSTONE God ’ild you, sir, I desire you of the like52. I press in
here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives53, to
swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and
blood breaks55. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but
mine own, a poor humour56 of mine, sir, to take that that no
man else will. Rich honesty57 dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor
house, as your pearl in your foul58 oyster.
DUKE SENIOR By my faith, he is very swift and sententious59.
TOUCHSTONE According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such dulcet60
diseases.
JAQUES But, for the seventh cause. How did you find the
quarrel on the seventh cause?
TOUCHSTONE Upon a lie seven times removed — bear your body
more seeming, Audrey — as65 thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of
a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word, if I said his
beard was not cut well, he was in the mind67 it was: this is
called the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again it was
not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please
himself: this is called the Quip Modest. If again it was not
well cut, he disabled71 my judgement: this is called the Reply
Churlish. If again it was not well cut, he would answer, I
spake not true: this is called the Reproof Valiant. If again it
was not well cut, he would say I lied: this is called the
Countercheck Quarrelsome: and so to the Lie Circumstantial75
and the Lie Direct.
JAQUES And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
TOUCHSTONE I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,
nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct, and so we measured80
swords and parted.
JAQUES Can you nominate82 in order now the degrees of the
lie?
TOUCHSTONE O sir, we quarrel in print84, by the book, as you have
books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: The
first, the Retort Courteous: the second, the Quip Modest: the
third, the Reply Churlish: the fourth, the Reproof Valiant:
the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome: the sixth, the Lie
with Circumstance: the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you
may avoid but the Lie Direct, and you may avoid that too,
with an ‘if.’ I knew when seven justices could not take up91 a
quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of
them thought but of an ‘if,’ as, ‘If you said so, then I said so’,
and they shook hands and swore brothers94. Your ‘if’ is the
only peacemaker. Much virtue in ‘if’.
JAQUES Is not this a rare96 fellow, my lord? He’s as good at
anything and yet a fool.
DUKE SENIOR He uses his folly like a stalking-horse98 and under
the presentation99 of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind and Celia. Still music
HYMEN Then is there mirth100 in heaven,
When earthly things made even101
Atone102 together.
Good duke, receive thy daughter,
Hymen from heaven brought her,
Yea, brought her hither,
That thou mightst join her hand with his
Whose heart within his bosom is.
To Duke Senior
ROSALIND To you I give myself, for I am yours.
To Orlando
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
DUKE SENIOR If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
ORLANDO If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
PHOEBE If sight and shape112 be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
To Duke Senior
ROSALIND I’ll have no father, if you be not he.—
To Orlando
I’ll have no husband, if you be not he.—
To Phoebe
Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she.
HYMEN Peace, ho! I bar117 confusion:
’Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events.
Here’s eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen’s bands121,
If truth holds true contents.—
To Orlando and Rosalind
You and you no cross123 shall part;—
To Oliver and Celia
You and you are heart in heart.—
To Phoebe
You to his love must accord125,
Or have a woman to your lord126.—
To Touchstone and Audrey
You and you are sure127 together,
As the winter to foul weather.—
Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning130,
That reason wonder may diminish
How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song
Wedding is great Juno’s133 crown,
O, blessèd bond of board and bed134!
’Tis Hymen peoples135 every town,
High wedlock then be honourèd:
Honour, high honour and renown,
To Hymen, god of every town!
To Celia
DUKE SENIOR O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!
Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.
To Silvius
PHOEBE I will not eat my word, now thou141 art mine,
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine142.
Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Bois]
JAQUES DE BOIS Let me have audience for a word or two:
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Addressed a mighty power148, which were on foot,
In his own conduct149, purposely to take
His brother here and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprise and from the world154,
His crown bequeathing to his banished brother,
And all their lands restored to them again
That were with him exiled. This to be true,
I do engage158 my life.
DUKE SENIOR Welcome, young man.
Thou offer’st fairly160 to thy brothers’ wedding:
To one his lands withheld, and to the other
A land itself at large162, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest, let us do those ends163
That here were well begun and well begot:
And after, every165 of this happy number
That have endured shrewd166 days and nights with us
Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune,
According to the measure of their states168.
Meantime, forget this new-fall’n
169 dignity
And fall into our rustic revelry.
Play, music! And you, brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heaped in joy, to th’measures172 fall.
JAQUES Sir, by your patience173. If I heard you rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life
And thrown into neglect the pompous175 court?
JAQUES DE BOIS He hath.
JAQUES To him will I: out of these convertites177
There is much matter to be heard and learned.—
To Duke Senior
You to your former honour I bequeath,
Your patience and your virtue well deserves it.—
To Orlando
You to a love that your true faith doth merit.—
To Oliver
You to your land and love and great allies182.—
To Silvius
You to a long and well-deservèd bed.—
To Touchstone
And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victualled185. So, to your pleasures.
I am for other than for dancing measures.
DUKE SENIOR Stay, Jaques, stay.
JAQUES To see no pastime, I. What you would have
I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave.
Exit
DUKE SENIOR Proceed, proceed.— We’ll begin these rites,
They dance
As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.
[Exeunt all but Rosalind]
ROSALIND It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue, but
it is no more unhandsome193 than to see the lord the prologue.
If it be true that good wine needs no bush194, ’tis true that a
good play needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use
good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help
of good epilogues. What a case197 am I in then, that am neither
a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with198 you in the behalf
of a good play! I am not furnished199 like a beggar, therefore to
beg will not become me. My way is to conjure200 you, and I’ll
As You Like It Page 11
