by Nesly Clerge
“Are you disappointed because he doesn’t give you enough attention, or are you saying—”
“He cheats. Prolifically, no doubt. Has been for years. However, I didn’t catch him at it until two years ago and again last year. He was supposed to mend his ways, but he’s at it again. I’m certain of it.”
“How?”
“You saw my Bentley. That’s the latest guilt payment for my services no longer being required and him servicing others.”
“To think I was intimidated when I saw you get out of a car it would take me a lifetime to pay for.”
“One of a number of payoffs from a man who believes he’s God’s gift to women, as long as it’s not his out-of-shape wife.”
“The man really is an idiot. And the last thing you are is out of shape. I was terrified I’d drool the entire time I was with you today.”
Chelsea grinned. “What about your situation?”
“You don’t want to hear about that.”
“Every word you want to utter.”
CHAPTER 42
They talked for twenty minutes, touching briefly on their situations with their spouses. Kept the conversation mostly about their children—a deliberate attempt to stay with safer topics. Luke hated having to end the call with Chelsea. Almost as much as he’d hated parting from her at the coffee shop.
It wasn’t fair to compare Brandi to Chelsea, but facts were facts.
Chelsea was a perfect example of “still waters run deep.” There were depths to be plumbed, mysteries to be explored and solved. With Brandi, what you saw was all that was there.
Chelsea was animated when she spoke, especially about his writing. So different from Brandi’s boredom with him and her ever-increasing bitterness. And there was the fact she’d never read as much as one paragraph of one of his books, reminding him ad nauseam that she didn’t care for fiction, whenever he begged her to see what he and his writing were about.
Chelsea was delicate. Brandi thought delicate was a cycle on a washer and dryer.
Chelsea was engaging and conveyed substance. Brandi was brittle and caustic.
And there was the most obvious difference: Chelsea was white. He’d never engaged in an interracial relationship.
The last word of that sentence caused his breath to catch.
It wasn’t a relationship. What he had with Brandi was, with all its flaws. He and Brandi had a history. What he had with Chelsea wasn’t even a friendship. It was—it was what?
It was only going to make him crazy if he didn’t rein in his thoughts.
CHAPTER 43
Brandi glanced up from the financial magazine she was reading. “I thought you were going to work out?”
Luke dropped his gym bag inside the door of the office. “Too crowded. I’ll go tomorrow.”
“A better use of your time would be to either work extra shifts or get an extra job. At least until I get one that pays.”
“We have enough for now.”
“How can you be so damn complacent about the situation we’re in? Oh, that’s right. I forgot. You’re used to having me pay for most of what it takes to maintain our lives. If you can call keeping our heads just above the waterline a life.”
“I hope you leave the grimace and bad attitude at the door for interviews.”
“You have a damn nerve talking to me like that. After all I’ve done for you. And for your bratty son.”
“For which you never fail to remind me. Don’t think I’ll forget what you said about me, and about Tim, anytime soon.”
“You weren’t meant to hear that. I told you, I was frustrated.”
“You’re frustrated more often than not these days.”
“Living with you, I have a right to be.”
“If you hadn’t needled me into … Never mind.”
“Go ahead and say it. Coward. Milksop. That’s a word for an author. And it fits you. Maybe I prodded you into marrying me, but you went for it. You could have ended the relationship. Instead, you … I’ve changed my mind: I’m glad you overheard. I’m just sorry I didn’t say it to your face.”
“Enough. Before we both go too far. I’m going to work in the basement tonight. Don’t wait up for me.”
“Don’t worry.”
Luke stomped down the stairs, placed his laptop on the dented coffee table and dropped onto the ragged sofa. He hated arguing but was equally relieved it had happened. It gave him a perfect excuse to avoid being in the same room with Brandi. And, how could he be expected to sleep next to such a prickly woman after being with Chelsea? Lovely, mellow Chelsea, who filled his mind with thoughts both innocent and not so innocent.
He’d told her that her husband was a fool for not wanting her. For wanting anyone other than her. Men with opinions of themselves too high for their own best interest, tended to be blind to their good fortune. Hall obviously did well for himself, but he had no idea that his true treasure waited at home for him every night.
The moment he’d seen Chelsea get out of her car, he’d known she was more than merely a fan to him. She was a lovely creature. A muse.
Ideas for a new novel came faster than he could type. He shifted from noting ideas to writing character dialogue, writing what he wanted to say to Chelsea. What he desired to hear her say in return. Described how he’d make love to her, and how she’d respond, down to the last ecstatic gasp and moan and cry as he pleasured her to the point of release.
Three hours later, Luke lifted his fingers from the keyboard and read what he’d written.
Just remember, old boy, it’s all fiction. Neither you or Chelsea will break your marriage vows. No matter how much you might wish differently.
CHAPTER 44
The bowl of Caesar salad slipped from Luke’s hand. He slammed his wait tray down, cursed and got a broom and dustpan from the cupboard.
James entered the kitchen. “Who dropped what?” Saw it was Luke and said, “That’s a first. Something on your mind? Woman problems?”
“Yes. But it’s not what you think.” Luke emptied the contents of the dustpan into the trash. He grabbed several paper towels, a bottle of cleaning liquid, and squatted to wipe up the dressing smeared on the linoleum floor.
“I’m intrigued. Your break’s in ten. Wait for me in the courtyard. You can tell me what’s going on. Can’t have you dropping dishes all night.”
Luke nodded. He prepared another salad, added it to his tray then fixed a smile on his face as he entered the dining room.
“Okay,” James said, “let’s hear it.” He handed Luke a cup of coffee.
Luke blew on the steaming liquid, sipped, then said, “I met a woman.”
James punched Luke’s arm. “Now you’re talking. This is my kind of problem. Simple and easy to give advice about.”
“It’s not so simple. She’s enticing, compelling.”
“Boring. What’s her body like?”
“Head-to-toe gorgeous.”
“No problem, so far.”
“I come alive when I’m in her presence or hear her voice.”
“That’s a bonus.”
“Her eyes tell me the feeling is mutual. I’m afraid it may get serious.”
“Again, no problem. Hit it and quit it.”
Luke shook his head. “It’s not like that with her. She’s not the kind of woman you do that to. She’s also not African American.”
James shrugged. “Still not a problem. If she’s luscious and purple, I say tap that.”
“She’s married.”
“And, there it is.”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Seems like a big fucking one to me.”
“She’s all I think about or want to. I feel like I’m being drawn in and I don’t want to resist it. I want to rush in.”
James blew out a breath of exasperation. “Okay. She’s married. So she isn’t going to want this mutual attraction advertised. Bowl in that alley. Rush in, as you said, and knock her pins down a few times. Then turn in those shoes that ain’t you
rs to keep and get the hell out. She’ll get the message.”
“If she lets me in, I’ll never want to leave.”
“Then you’d damn sure better get out now. That woman sounds like one of those Chinese finger puzzles. You put yourself in that, you ain’t ever coming out.”
“It would be a lovely way to live.”
“More like die, you mean. Dude, married women have husbands. Some of them have guns. I never took you for stupid. You want a playmate, I’ll find you one, any color you want. And single. I know a few who have no ambition to hook a guy. They just want to dabble and be dabbled by someone who knows what he’s doing.”
“I’m not looking to dabble.”
“You’re not looking to pay the ultimate price for playing, either.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I am.” James slapped Luke on the back. “Break’s over. Keep your mind where it belongs.”
Luke followed James into the restaurant. Of course his friend was right. He needed to do something about this situation. It was best to tell Chelsea he’d started a new novel, so needed his full focus there.
No more texting or calls.
No more meeting for coffee.
She’d forget all about him in no time.
However much he didn’t want her to.
CHAPTER 45
Shortly after nine o’clock on Saturday morning, Luke’s son, Tim, knocked on the front door. Luke kissed the top of Tim’s head as he entered. He watched his ex-wife speed off to wherever, to do whatever. He’d learned long ago that it was best not to ask what Tina was up to.
Tim dropped his overnight bag on the floor. “Where’s the step-monster?”
Luke shut the door. “She’s at the store. I’ll grab a couple of sodas. Wait for me in the basement.”
“Why the basement?”
“In case she comes home. You and I need to talk.”
“I just walked in and I’m already getting grief.”
“That’s not what this is about. Go on. I’ll be there in a few.”
Tim pounded down the stairs. Luke pulled two cans from the refrigerator and joined his son. He handed a soda to Tim, who popped the top, downed half the contents and belched.
“Manners, Tim.”
“She’s not even around to hear me.”
“Manners practiced in private are easier to practice in public.”
“Whatever.”
“Tim.”
“Please excuse the sound I made after ingesting a quantify of this carbonated beverage.”
Luke shook his head. “I need you to be polite to Brandi. Things are tense right now.”
“What’d you do this time?”
He wanted to say, I kept breathing. “Her office downsized. It was unexpected. Things are a little unsettled right now. That’s all.”
Tim barked a laugh. “The cow got fired.”
“I mean it, son. You’ll understand such situations when you’re an adult working for a living. You lose your income, it can be a stressful time.”
“Fine. Whatever.”
“Although I’d prefer you got along, you don’t have to pretend you like her. Just be courteous.”
“You mean don’t piss her off.”
“Do us both a favor. Please.”
“Whatever.”
Father and son drank from their cans. Luke rested his soda on his knee. “I never asked how the divorce affected you. Is affecting you. I’m sorry I’ve waited so long.”
“Whatever.”
“Tim, please talk to me, and with more than one word, especially that one. Tell me how you feel about what happened, because it happened to all of us.”
“It sucks. All right? It’s like I’m a wishbone being pulled in two directions. And, it’s embarrassing to be the one whose parents split. None of my friends are like that. They don’t understand what it’s like. Especially holidays. And none of them have to be nice to someone who’s not their parent.”
“So, you’re hurt. Embarrassed. Angry.”
“Why couldn’t you have stayed together?”
“It wouldn’t have worked.”
“Because of the affairs?”
Luke stared wide-eyed at Tim. “You knew?”
“I’m not stupid.”
“I had no idea. We tried to keep it from you—one thing your mother and I agreed on. Then you understand?”
Tim slouched back and toed a wobbly leg of the coffee table. “You should’ve just gotten your own thing going. Stayed together doing your own things. You know?”
“That’s not how it works.”
“It does for some.”
“What do you mean?”
Tim shrugged. “Pete’s got extended cable.”
“I don’t want you watching … Look, it wasn’t the relationship I signed on for. As hurt as you feel, that’s how much what happened hurt me. In a different way, of course. But pain is pain. However, we have to work to heal the pain and do the best we can. Do whatever it takes.”
“It took marrying step-monster?”
“Would you please stop saying that. And, yes, finding someone to be in a relationship with again helps. But the sting of betrayal can last a while. Sometimes a long while.”
“Like that time a hornet stung me?”
Luke ruffled Tim’s hair. “More like stepping on a ground nest and getting hit by a number of the swarm.”
Tim thought about it and nodded.
“Son, we can’t afford it right now, but would you like me to find someone for you to talk to, when we can pay?”
Tim glared at Luke. “I don’t need a shrink.”
“Of course not. But if you’d like to talk to someone who’s objective—”
“Nah. Mom would bug me to tell her what I talked about.”
“Guess you’re stuck discussing it with me. I’m here for you anytime you need to talk. I love you, son. More than anyone or anything.”
“Even more than Brandilocks?”
“You’re the bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.”
Tim toed Luke’s leg playfully. “That’s disgusting.” He burped long and loud.
“Tim.”
“Please excuse the sound I just made after—”
Luke put his can on the coffee table and launched a tickle attack on Tim, who pretended to fight off his father. The coffee table crashed onto its side. Spilled soda began to spread across the concrete floor.
Tim, laughing, grabbed old newspapers from a stack in a corner and tossed them over the spill while Luke righted the table. “Good thing you-know-who wasn’t here, Dad. You’d be in deep—”
Luke strained to suppress a smile. “Son.”
“Stuff.”
“When am I not?”
CHAPTER 46
The villain in the movie had been winning, but the hero was about to get his second wind, about to get ice-cold enraged and kick some bad-guy butt. Luke and Tim’s attention diverted from the TV screen at the sound of a key in the lock.
Luke looked at Tim. “Remember what I said.”
Tim grinned, got up, opened the door, and bit his lower lip to contain the laugh that threatened to escape at Brandi’s startled expression. She stood in the doorway, keys in one hand, bag of groceries clutched to her with the other.
Tim took hold of the bag. “I’ll get that.”
Brandi glanced at Luke, who smiled and shrugged.
Luke had to give it to Tim: The kid could put it on when he wanted to. Although he spent a good portion of the day in the basement with Luke’s laptop, when he had to interact with Brandi, he wasn’t effusive, but wasn’t rude either. It put Brandi on the spot to act better, as well. The tension between the two of them was still palpable, but they made an effort to keep it at an undercurrent level.
Around eleven o’clock, Tim settled on the couch for the night. Brandi went to bed. Luke took his laptop down to the basement to work for a while. No Goodreads e-mail or text from Chelsea. Disappointing, but for the best.
<
br /> He did find four new five-star reviews and discovered he’d sold ten e-books. It was his best day as an author so far, and he wanted to share the good news.
Luke turned off the lights in the house, turned off the TV Tim had fallen asleep to, and went upstairs. He closed the door to their bedroom and leaned against it.
Brandi looked up from her book. “What are you grinning about?”
He told her.
Brandi put her book down and clutched her hands to her chest. “How wonderful. We can now pay for beans and rice for a few weeks. Maybe I can even buy a stale roll for the boy.”
“You’re determined not to let me celebrate even a small victory.”
“We have very different ideas about what qualifies as a victory.”
“I guess this victor can forget about getting any spoils tonight.”
Brandi picked up her book. “Tonight and a lot of nights. Until further notice.”
“Would you rather I sleep in the basement?”
“I don’t care where you sleep.”
He wondered if she realized how inciting a comment that was.
CHAPTER 47
A few minutes before noon the next day, a car pulled up out front, the driver honked the horn. Luke went to the window. Tina. No call to alert Tim she’d pick him up early. Typical.
“Tim, your mom’s here.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Neither am I, but she is. Did you leave anything in the basement or office?”
“Nah. I just need to put my stuff into my bag and put on my shoes.”
“I’ll help.”
“I’ll do it. There isn’t much.”
“Maybe you should run out and tell her you’ll be ready in a minute.”
The horn honked several more times—two short, one long, one short. Luke opened the door and held up a finger to indicate a minute was needed. Tina held up a finger as well, to indicate her sentiments. Luke shook his head and shut the door.
“You sure you’ve got everything?”
“Yeah, Dad. Brandiflake going to stay in her room all day?”
“I doubt it.”
“Do I have to go up there and tell her I’m leaving?”
“I’m sure she knows by now. Let her stay where she is.”
