“So, can I have this beat now?” I asked jokingly.
He laughed. “Nah, we got something special for you.”
Search was smiling too. Without Mouse around, I was still making it happen. She was just that final piece to our puzzle. As a duo, we were unstoppable and so much more talented. But I couldn’t be the only one thirsty for this shit. She had to step it up and come hard for this success also. She was my best friend, my ride or die bitch, and we vowed to come up together.
“I told you that she was nice,” Search chimed.
“Yeah, she is. Sammy, you have lyrics for real and harmony and soul,” Macky proclaimed.
“I just wanna make this happen for us,” I replied.
“You will.”
We continued to talk and wait. I kicked a few other rhymes for Macky to hear and each one came harder than the next. It was like when I started spitting, I became a different person. I was possessed. I demanded that respect. My voice boomed like thunder in the sky and my sassiness was nothing to play with. I could come at you on some sexy and sensual shit, or I could come at you like a fuckin’ pit bull in a skirt, raw, ready to bark and bite. I was from the Bronx, and hardcore like no other.
Forty minutes had passed since we arrived and this bitch finally decided to show up. While I was chatting with Search and Macky, my cell phone rang and it was Mouse calling. I almost didn’t want to answer it, I was so heated. I already had an attitude because precious time had by now been wasted.
“We downstairs. Where y’all at? We wanna come up,” she hollered into the phone like everything was all good.
“No, I’m comin’ down to get you. We need to talk about somethin’,” I said calmly.
“Okay, hurry up,” she replied.
Oh, did this bitch tell me to hurry up!
I held my sharp tongue because it wouldn’t be cool to curse her out and act hood and ghetto in front of Macky. He already indicated earlier that he didn’t like or want any outside drama or beef in his studio. You either kept it business and professional or you didn’t come to his studio at all. Macky was a peaceful man. I had to respect that. I removed myself from the swivel chair, saying to the two men in the room, “Mouse is finally downstairs. I’m gonna go talk to her for a minute and be right back up.”
The look on their faces was like mines; they were angry and frustrated. Search especially was annoyed. He paid $500 of his hard-earned money in advance for two hours, and we still didn’t get anything done. Oh, Mouse was going to have some explaining to do to all of us.
I removed myself from the studio room and walked toward the elevator thinking about what I was going to say to my best friend once I got downstairs. There were so many choice words to shout out. I was ready to make a scene with Mouse. I walked outside with a scowl across my face and saw Mouse with Rico. She was dressed in a brown seamless leopard jacquard dress and these brown heels, and bejeweled in some pricey items. She was dressed like she was about to hit the club, or the strip club. Mouse didn’t come to record a few tracks; she came to swing around a stripper pole. And there was Rico, styling in a wife beater, trying to flex his physique and showing off the multitude of tattoos on his arms, wearing a Yankees fitted and sporting a fourteen-karat white gold diamond chain necklace with the matching bracelet.
I glared at Mouse and approached her with contempt. Search and Macky weren’t around for me to keep cool, so I went in on Mouse.
“Seriously, Mouse, now you decide to fuckin’ show up when you were supposed to be here like an hour ago, and you come wit’ this fuckin’ clown!” I exclaimed.
Rico smirked. “Hey to you too, Sammy.”
“Whatever!”
“First off, Sammy, don’t be callin’ my fuckin’ man a clown, and second, why the fuck you trippin’ fo’? We here now,” Mouse retorted.
I wanted to punch them both in the face. These two were so fuckin’ ignorant. “You fuckin’ up, Mouse,” I shouted.
“Whatever, Sammy, where the fuck is Search? ’Cause maybe I need to talk to him, because I can’t damn sure talk to you right now,” she chided.
“Search is pissed off at you too. He already paid five hundred dollars for a late studio session.”
“Fuck it, if ya tryin’ to act fucked up like this, then maybe this session don’t fuckin’ need to happen. Better late than never, right.”
I shook my head. This wasn’t Mouse. We both were always about our business. She had to be high, or Rico was brainwashing her. This wasn’t love, especially not after a few days. We went way back with Rico, but I never saw Mouse become this fucking boorish.
“You high, Mouse?” I asked.
“I’m fuckin’ good, Sammy,” she replied dryly.
I sighed heavily.
“And anyway, I wanted to tell you some good news,” Mouse said to me.
I scowled heavier. What good news could she possibly tell me now? And she was serious, too. “Good news,” I replied with a dumbfounded stare toward her.
“Rico is willing to finance us to help further our careers. He ready to look out for us, Sammy,” she said.
“What?”
“I’m sayin’, he got the money and we got the talent. A great combination, right? We can go places if we start fuckin’ wit’ Rico.”
This bitch had some nerve. “And what about Search?”
She sucked her teeth and replied with, “Fuck Search. The only reason he’s backing us or sweatin’ us like that is because he just tryin’ to get some pussy, from either you or me.”
“Mouse, are you serious?”
“Sammy, Rico is paid and he got connects. Believe me, vamos a hacer esto, Sammy,” she stated.
I wasn’t with it. I wasn’t going to abandon Search at all. Mouse had it twisted. “Joder que,” I spat back, which meant, “Fuck that!”
Mouse frowned.
I continued with, “I ain’t abandoning Search. He’s the one who’s about his business. That puta right there is just about gettin’ some pussy. Open ya fuckin’ eyes, Mouse.”
“Sammy, how you gonna try and play me like that?” Rico chimed in. “How far we go back?”
“I don’t give a fuck how far we go back, Rico. This is my livelihood you fuckin’ wit’,” I shouted.
“And I’m tryin’ to help y’all,” he returned.
“We don’t need ya help, Rico,” I clearly let be known.
I didn’t want to hear anything from him. I just wanted to talk to Mouse. It seemed like everything that was supposed to happen tonight was going down the drain.
“You can speak fo’ yourself, Sammy,” argued Mouse.
My temper was starting to flare. Here we were, wasting precious time arguing about bullshit, when we could have been upstairs making hits with this well-known producer. I had my fists clenched and restrained myself from going off, either on Mouse or Rico.
“Mouse, I’m tired of arguing; do you still wanna do this or what? Because Search and Macky are waiting for us upstairs,” I asked.
If she wasn’t coming up, then fuck it. I was still going to go into that booth and do my thang. Like I said before, we were a duo, but Mouse wasn’t going to stop the show from happening. She looked at Rico, like she needed to get his approval. I couldn’t believe it. He shrugged and said to her, “Y’all might as well get somethin’ done, and we can talk ’bout that other thing later.”
“Fuck it, let’s do this, then,” Mouse said.
Finally, I said to myself. But for some reason, it just didn’t feel right. I was agitated and frustrated. Mouse was fuckin’ brainwashed, and we already lost one hour of recording time. But something had to be salvaged before the night ended. My mood had changed drastically and I was ready to kill someone. I had to release my frustration somehow, and it had to be in the studio. I was ready to catch fire and burn these lyrics that were heating up in my head like a wildfire.
Mouse and Rico followed me into the building. We rode the elevator to the tenth floor silently. You could feel the tension among a
ll of us. Damn, I didn’t want to bring this drama into Macky’s studio, but I also didn’t want to miss out on working with him.
We all walked into the studio. Macky had another hot beat playing. Search glared at Mouse. He had no words for her. He cut his eyes at Rico and sighed. Macky stood up to greet the two newcomers who came into the room.
“You must be Mouse, the second extraordinary half to this platinum group,” said Macky nicely.
“I am,” she replied with a smile.
I could tell that he was impressed by her beauty, too. He checked her up and down while Rico was around. The way Rico looked at Macky showed he was not impressed by his flirtation and words to Mouse. I loved it. Fuck him!
“And you are?” Macky asked Rico.
“I’m Rico, her man,” he sternly let be known.
“A’ight, no disrespect to you, my dude,” said Macky kindly.
“None taken,” Rico replied with a deadpan stare.
“Search, I’m sorry that I’m late,” Mouse apologized.
“We’ll talk later. Let’s just get something done tonight,” Search replied coolly.
Rico took a seat on the couch and chilled, while Mouse and I needed to get our groove and chemistry together. We needed to do this despite our bickering earlier and the tension that was stirring between us. Mouse got aquatinted with Macky and the studio equipment fast, and it didn’t take long for us to step into the booth to create our magic.
Macky put on this beat for us to listen to. It was wonderful. The melody was crooning, but the drums and snares came alive like DMX was about to perform. Mouse was loving it too. She nodded to the beat and we both were ready to go. Search and Macky were outside the soundproof glass nodding also. They were ready to hear something hot.
Once we were in the booth and hearing the beat flowing through the room like a tropical waterfall, that rainbow came in the room and the conflict Mouse and I had earlier seemed to fade and we focused on the one thing we loved best: our music. It was our time to shine again. Mouse stepped toward the mic with the pop filter and started to spit her lyrics first to “One Down.”
“It’s one down, like you shot down, look around, who’s the punk now, got you in the sixty-nine, you lookin’ pregnant wit’ that bitch in ya system, giving birth to another pussy, who the boo, throw my arms around you to blanket the bitch in you, Edenwald Blood Vixens comin’ through to kick the shit out of you, it’s divine, we don’t play them games, we don’t deal wit’ lames, Sammy and Mouse, a more lethal combination than Mickey ’n’ Mallory, fuck it, keep talkin’ and watch the .380 pop, separate ya soul, ya spirit is shifting, ’n’ watch what gets done to you, natural-born killers comin’ through, this ain’t the cinema, ya bad mouth done put ya life on the line, death is gonna be real fo’ you, I’m that bitch to sit on ya face, have you eat this pussy ’n’ then shit on you, drown between my thighs, bleed you like a period. Yeah, muthafucka, you don’t leave this position until you clean ya plate, dance on you while you lick between my legs, my name is Mouse, ’n’ you ain’t gotta do nothin’ but love this girl, ’cause I be like fuck, y’all niggas, so don’t get it confused when you look at me, Mickey ain’t got shit on me, I’m the big bad wolf, so nigga don’t fuckin’ raise up or you get chomp the fuck down and have ya niggas screaming, but running on E,” Mouse hollered heatedly into the microphone with a profound scowl.
I was hyped. I spit my verse after hers with fever and we were so excited. We could go on and on, but we had to keep within the sixteen bars. I saw Macky nodding his head in approval. It made us hyped up even more. Search was smiling in the background, looking like a proud father. Rico remained nonchalant. After we recorded “One Down” we only had enough time to record “Pussy Poppin’.” It was a sexual, raw, and funny track with lyrics like, “Yeah, a bitch is pussy poppin’, got his big dick inside us dancing like Puffy in a video, as my lips pop, lock, ’n’ block around his hard flesh like we on American Bandstand, he got my ass goin’ crazy, my hips movin’ from right to left, front to back, my tits pressed against the S against his chest, my clit swelling to his fresh, he’s so fine, extra credit when he fucks me from behind, scratching that itch, his movement inside me feelin’ slick, but cancel the Rick, he was my ex, small-dick nigga I care to forget. Fuckin’ this wide nigga on his beat, like a few drums banging between my knees, we two stepping to cum, you and me, he got my pussy poppin’, he got my lips pop, lock, ’n’ blocking.”
Macky was laughing at the raunchiness and loved it. It was fun to be different and humorous on a track. There were no boundaries to us. We said what’s on our mind and didn’t need any censorship.
After our session, I went outside to smoke a cigarette on the small balcony that overlooked the city. We could have gotten more done tonight if Mouse didn’t come so late. But it wasn’t any use crying over spilled milk. I took a few pulls from my cigarette and exhaled. It was such a beautiful night that I wanted to linger outside on the balcony for a long moment and look up at the stars all night. The noise of the bustling city kept my ears busy and the smell of success had me ready to take a leap of faith. You had to love New York: the city where dreams are made.
“Hey, girl, can I join you?” I heard Mouse ask me from behind.
I turned around. She stood there with a rueful look at me. I couldn’t say no. “Yeah,” I said to her.
She came and stood next to me. The glare of the city was in our eyes. Mouse seemed calm and cool; her attitude was gone. I shared my cigarette with her and stared at the towering skyscrapers in front of us. I puffed out the smoke and sighed. We were quiet for a moment, puffing and passing. The warm April night was refreshing with May almost two weeks away.
“I’m sorry about earlier, Sammy,” Mouse, out of the blue, apologized, breaking the silence between us. “I know I fucked up. I don’t know what came over me.”
I knew what came over her: Rico. But I kept my mouth shut. There wasn’t any reason to bring that drama back up. I took a few pulls from the cigarette and said to her, “We cool, no love lost here.”
She smiled. “We did our thing back there, right?”
“Yeah, we did,” I replied.
“We gonna do this, Sammy. I know it. And I love you, ’cause no matter what, you never give up on me. Your friendship is all I have right now and I’m not trying to mess that up wit’ you,” she proclaimed.
They were true and genuine words coming from her. Her eyes were sincere and it looked like she was ready to break down.
“Mouse, you are more to me than my best friend. You are my sister, and we gonna live out our dreams together. You know the only reason I’m hard on you is because I love you.”
“I know.”
We hugged each and smiled. All was forgiven.
A moment of silence passed. I broke it by saying to Mouse, “Look at us now. We slowly comin’ up fo’ sure. We in a Manhattan studio recording wit’ Macky, the nigga that used to fuck wit’ Rockafella and Smack Records. You gotta admit, Search is definitely lookin’ out for us.”
“Yeah, he is, but I still want you to think about what I said about Rico. He’s willing to invest heavily into us, Sammy, and my baby got bank, too,” she said with certainty.
I heard what she said, but I was somewhat doubtful about Rico coming onboard to finance us. He had the cash, there was no doubting that, but did he have the brains for this kind of business? It was going to be drug money behind us, too. It was a risk dealing with him. I didn’t know. I wanted to change the subject. I asked Mouse, “We still down to hang out in Times Square after this?”
Her dubious look back at me already told me her answer. “I would love to, but Rico made plans with me to take me somewhere nice to eat.”
“Oh, really, where y’all going?”
“Some fancy restaurant in downtown Manhattan. I can’t even pronounce the name of it. But I know it’s expensive. My baby is treating me like his queen,” she said excitedly.
I wanted to be happy for her. Hey, maybe she di
d find love, but I doubted it. I wasn’t gonna continue to burst her bubble. My only concern was that he didn’t distract her from our business. It was obvious he took her shopping, because Mouse was looking like a diva in her new wardrobe and jewelry. He was showering my friend with praises and gifts and Mouse was eating it up like crazy.
“I’m happy for you,” I said halfheartedly.
“Thank you.”
There wasn’t much else to say. We continued to smoke and loitered on the slim balcony, being ten stories over the city. I gazed down below; the people looked like ants from my high position. From the bottom to the top, yeah, that was gonna be us, transformed from poverty to prosperity. We had too much talent to stay at the bottom. I could taste my dreams and transformed them into reality.
Chapter Six
Sammy
I gripped the 9 mm tightly with seventeen rounds locked into the clip and took a pull from the burning blunt that was passed to me from the back seat. The haze had my eyes seeded. The moving car was filled with weed smoke and Rick Ross’s and Meek Mills’s lyrics blaring. I was seated in the passenger seat and ready to take action. My crew had my back and I had their back. The gun was ready to speak volumes to our foes. EBV was ready to make a violent statement tonight. They fucked with the wrong bitches this time. This was the part of my life that I wanted to escape from, keep a secret, or separate from my musical dreams, or tried to anyway. But I expressed my lifestyle via my rhymes and singing. I wasn’t one of these studio gangsters who pretended to be hardcore to create an image to sell records. Nah, every lyric, every fuckin’ verse, was real life for me.
Search knew I was hood. He was always trying to rescue me from myself, like Puffy rescued Biggie from the street life and thrust him into a hit record. But I was a dangerous bitch on so many levels. I was one of the gang leaders and when shit popped off, they came to me for direction. I couldn’t look soft or weak. I had a reputation to uphold and the million dollar checks weren’t coming in yet, so I had to eat and survive somehow. But was I contradicting myself. Where I assumed Rico was a distraction for Mouse, the street life was my distraction from the music business. We both had our demons; for me, it was my temper and salacious behavior. It could also easily interfere with my dreams.
La Familia Page 8
