At the top of the landing I heaved in a huge breath and let it out. I sincerely hoped Zach was a runner because I was tired of being out of breath. Technically I shouldn’t be in danger anymore now that I was fully bonded, but my evil alert was shouting full blast. Fexlie opened a door that showed a small parlor. We didn’t tarry. The other rooms were a blur, but from what I could see this was a rather large chamber. For some reason, my heart went crazy when we entered the bedroom, hammering as if I was being chased, but it was probably from knowing what I was going to have to deal with tonight. I shook off the feeling pretty fast once I got caught up in exploring.
Zach’s rooms weren’t any fancier than anywhere else I had slept. In fact, his bedroom was rather plain by fae standards. The carved bed rested toward the back corner with a cozy seating area and fireplace near it. Book cases lined the walls, which didn’t surprise me at all considering Zach’s house in Indiana. What did surprise me was the neatly wrapped box sitting on the bed.
I meandered deeper into the room and ditched my shoes. The plush carpet hugged my toes, and the crackle of the fire soothed my nerves.
“Well, miss, I’ll be leaving you to it. You’ll find a full wardrobe in the closet and the facilities are through that door. Mind you, don’t take too long, or I’ll come looking for you.”
Been there already. I nodded and pointed at the box that still held my attention. “What’s that?”
She zipped over to the bed, and I followed. She gave me a happy grin. “It seems to be addressed to you.” Me? Not us? I’d thought it was probably the gift Ainessa mentioned, but now all I wanted to do was see what it was and who’d sent it.
I touched the shiny cream wrapping paper then curled my fingers around the package. A card was tucked neatly under the ribbon. With shaking fingers, I opened it, not sure why I was so entranced by the thought of a gift. The only thing that came to mind was I hardly ever get any and this one should be safe now that I was bonded.
I scanned the note penned in an old fashioned script, which surprisingly was still easy to read, looking for the one thing I wanted to know. Yours in love and life, Zach.
I dropped the card as if it was acid and clutched my chest. I’d read the card later. Right now all I wanted to see was what he had gotten me.
I picked up the box and pulled the ribbon. Once I got the paper off, I stared at the plain cardboard thinking it odd that a fae lord would use something so human as a box. By this time my pulse had kicked up and my breath was shallow. My nail punctured the tape easily, and I went for the other side. Once that was out of the way I tucked my nail under the flap.
My scar exploded with pain I hadn’t felt in so long I had almost forgotten I even had a scar. I dropped the package and the pain disappeared.
The sound of the door opening jolted me, and I stepped away from the bed. Footsteps told me I didn’t have much time. Should I confront Zach about the package? Now might not be the best time to start an argument. Whatever was in that box wasn’t a present I wanted.
I shoved it and the card under the bed and turned just in time to see Zach’s weary face. If he was reading my thoughts he didn’t show it. He frowned at me. “I’d hoped you would be ready.”
Yeesh, I hadn’t been up here that long. “Sorry.” I gave him a smile. “I’ve just been getting acquainted with your bedroom.”
“Our bedroom,” he corrected. His hard tone lingered in the air between us like a brick wall. If only it wasn’t see through.
I flushed when his eyes traveled to my bare toes and back up. It was difficult to swallow around the chunk of nerves in my throat. My mind wandered to what would happen later tonight. I didn’t want to deal with awkward technicalities when I was tired. “Since you’re so tall, I’ll take the couch.”
He laughed. “Don’t you trust me?”
I pressed my lips together then smiled. “I’ll just go change.”
He grabbed my elbow, halting my escape. “You can’t possibly think I would take advantage of you after everything we’ve been through, everything I’ve done.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. I guess I’m just tired.” I kept my mind off his present because I didn’t want to talk about it right now and focused on my need to freshen up.
His brows furrowed, but he let go of me. I found what I needed fairly quickly and went to it. I only realized later that putting off dinner wasn’t such a good idea.
By the time I had finished changing, Zach was gone. Fexlie wasn’t around, either, so I found my way back to the dining hall. Soft music spilled from the space. The glow radiating into the hallway told me my eyes weren’t going to like where I was headed, but I straightened my spine and made my legs move forward.
Every face in the room snapped my way, including the staff, but there was only one person I was interested in finding. Zach stood, taking my anxiety away with his warm smile.
He raised his glass. “Everyone, may I introduce, Rayla, my new companion. She has had a dreadful time of things lately, so it is with the utmost love for her that I ask for all of you to please give her some room.” He chuckled. “After all, we will have her for years to come.” With the casual flair of a true leader, he tipped his head back and drank from his silver goblet.
I couldn’t believe he just said that. I was grateful, mind you, but did he have to make me out to be such a wimp? I returned his smile and addressed the crowd. “Thank you, my lord, for your kind words on my behalf. I’m eager to get to know each and every one of you. I hope to live up to your expectations of me, but I am afraid I might need a bit of help in knowing exactly what those are.”
Zach walked to me and took my hand. With a new lightness in his eyes, he leaned in and brushed his lips against my ear, sending gooseflesh along my neck. “Already trying to charm the locals, I see. Well played, love.”
I hadn’t realized this was a game. His soft breath sent more chills through me, and I shivered.
He snapped to attention and smiled at the others, sweeping his arm sideways. “Please. Enjoy your dinner.”
Most everyone did as they were asked, but a few still stared at me. They were probably only curious, but with Ainessa staying here, I couldn’t be too careful.
Zach shook his head slightly. “She had to leave.”
I gave him a questioning look.
“Court obligations and such.”
A more likely thought occurred. Her brother kicked her out of his castle?
He shrugged, giving me a boyish smile.
I chuckled. “Thank you.”
Without taking his eyes off me, he sobered. “We will have to face her eventually.”
“I know,” I said. “But I appreciate the opportunity to be ready for it.”
Chapter Twenty
Conversation ensued and I tried to keep up. One of Zach’s generals was filling him in on things he had missed while…well…we were bonding. It hadn’t been that long ago, but from the list this guy slung at Zach, you would have thought it was a decade.
When the guy mentioned the borderlands, my ears perked up. “…and our search revealed nothing out of the ordinary. If there is a new kind of creature, we could not find it.”
I nearly choked on my drink. Zach turned toward me and frowned. “What do you know of this?”
I shrugged. “Maybe we should talk about it later.”
He shook his head at me as if I were a five-year-old. “There is nothing you could tell me that I wouldn’t share with Darlek.”
I laughed. “Who?”
Zach frowned at me. “Darlek.” He enunciated very clearly. I caught the R this time, but I laughed harder. He gave me the stink eye. His general went red in the face, but somehow I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “Why is his name so funny? Rayla!”
It wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t spent every Saturday night until I was fourteen watching Doctor Who reruns with Uncle John. I knew it probably wasn’t spelled the same, but Zach said it just the way The Doctor would have. Dalek, the robot m
onsters with human brains. I eyed the general speculatively who had the decency to look flummoxed.
I got a roll of the eyes and a nudge to the elbow from Zach. “Just tell us.”
I sent him a mental message, short and to the point. “I named two borderland creatures.”
Zach stood up so fast he knocked his drink over—all over me that was. He was right by my side, wiping at my dress. His face flushed, but I wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or angry.
I stilled his hands. “It’s okay. I’m finished eating anyway.” I stood as well and addressed the crowd. “It was nice to meet those of you who I have so far, and I hope to know all of you soon. Goodnight.”
Without another word, I whirled away and headed for the door as fast as I could walk without looking at anyone along the way.
I could feel Zach behind me, and I wished he would just leave me alone. He didn’t say anything until we were in his parlor.
He hurried in front of me catching my gaze. “Rayla, I’m sorry.”
That was the last thing I expected him to tell me. I dropped my eyes to his shoes. “I’m the one that keeps messing everything up.”
His warm hands found mine. He pulled me into his arms and brushed his fingers through my hair, sending a warm buzz through my body. “How can you say such a thing? You’ve had what adds up to no training, no introduction into our society. How can I fault you for being kind?”
Scalding tears pushed at my eyes. “How can I be what you people need when I don’t know the first thing about being a queen?”
His soft voice should have reassured me, but all I could do was cringe at his gentleness. “That’s what I am for, love. You keep forgetting you are not in this alone.”
I buried my face into his shoulder and allowed the tears to spill. They started off soft, but soon I was into a full out emotional breakdown. It had been coming for quite some time, but that didn’t matter now. I should be stronger than this. I had to be.
Zach picked me up and carried me to the bed. He ignored my protests as he unzipped my dress and made me kick off my shoes. He set me on my feet and the dress flitted to the floor, pooling around my feet. His eyes never left mine, but I could see him fighting the pull to take me in completely. My bra and panties were staying right where they were, thank you very much.
I couldn’t even think about sleeping with him yet. Not after everything I’d given up. When my mind drifted to Heath, Zach hissed in a sharp breath.
He took me into his arms again and pressed me onto the mattress. Seeming as if his very life depended on getting away from me, he arranged the covers over my body then stood. “I’ve got some things to take care of. Be back later.” He bent down and brushed a kiss at my hairline. “Rest well, love. You needn’t worry so much, especially about me.”
My heartbeat calmed as I settled into the pillows, watching him leave. He was a good man. I was lucky he was being so patient with me. I still couldn’t reconcile that I was married to one man and bonded with another. Roger did not count.
My tears came again, thinking about Heath, wondering how he was doing. Would he ever forgive me?
He’d bared his soul for me and it hadn’t been enough. I’d given in to Tabitha because I thought there was no other option. Now, in the twilight stillness, I wondered if I was wrong. Maybe he had been right, and she was only following the whims of the council? There was always a possibility we could have figured out what to do together. He’d been so happy, so lovely when he handed me his heart. Even now, especially now, lying alone in this big bed, I regretted letting him go.
I had no idea what Tabitha had done with the rest of the rebels. For all I knew she had been lying to me and they were all dead. No. That wasn’t something Tabitha would do. She had been telling the truth; I had felt it in my soul.
Once more I cursed the fates that led me here. Why set me on a path that included Heath at all if in the end we couldn’t be together? I’d never really bought into the chaos theory. It seemed to me there had to be a hand or more guiding us all along in this life. But now, I couldn’t stand the thought of someone purposely putting me through this. One word circled over and over in my mind.
Why?
I found myself in a fitful sleep with abstract monsters chasing me. Somewhere in my mind, I knew I was dreaming, yet I could not wake. The images continued to spin until I thought I would metaphorically and really kick the bucket.
A pinprick of light in the distance beckoned me forward, and I rushed past those howling horrors. My body tingled as I came closer to the light, anticipation lighting my veins. When I realized the light emanated from the crystal castle, I shrieked, trying to change my trajectory. I floated into the crowd gathered for a bonding I did not want to see.
Faine stood there waiting for Zach. I didn’t stop until I was right next to her, then suddenly I drifted through her skin and into her body. She blinked as if startled, and her lips opened with my gasp.
No. This was not happening. Wake up.
WAKE UP.
I wasn’t going to go through this again. Her emotions filled me, and her unshed tears burned my spirit. How was I here? I wasn’t even alive when this happened.
She glanced behind her as if searching for a face in the crowd. I caught a glimpse of blond hair and her pulse jumped. Luke stood twenty feet away, giving her a look of longing.
That’s when Valen came in, and I got to feel everything through her emotions. Her demand that God be allowed to reject the bond was the hope she clung to. She had seemed strong and defiant when inside she trembled with overwhelming fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the dark lord standing in front of her, but most of all fear of the new feelings surfacing because of him.
I could relate.
This was surreal in the extreme. Feeling her emotions, so similar to my own, I had to mentally block what was coming next or I would probably tumble into insanity. I didn’t want to see this. Zach had already admitted he had taken Faine unwillingly. I didn’t know what that meant, but I certainly didn’t want to feel it.
He stepped up to her and addressed Valen. “I am ready.”
This is where the vision had ended before. Unfortunately, it plodded on like a steamer bent for the station.
Zach smiled down at her with his wolfish grin. She shuddered, and so did I. That smile held no wiggle room. His stance was confident, his demeanor unyielding.
If there was any mercy in this world I would wake up now.
His arms clamped around hers and she shook.
Now, wake up.
No matter how much I wished it, it did not happen. Zach, no, Ammon didn’t give her any leeway. He took everything she was into his soul, absorbing her essence yet giving of his own. In an odd way, it was beautiful; however, I couldn’t reconcile this as excusable.
Something inside her snapped and she yielded to him, opening her soul for him to plunder.
No. Don’t do it. Zach. You have to stop.
Tears streamed down her cheeks that might as well have been rivers of blood.
Stop. Zach.
Stop.
Then came and odd sound. Rayla.
I knew the letters formed a word I should know, but they didn’t feel quite right.
Rayla!
Faine’s body trembled in fits of explosive convulsions.
My body shook, too. He was taking everything she was.
My eyes flew open.
Zach hovered over me. The room came into focus and my heart slowed as I realized I was back in my own body, living my own life.
He touched my forehead, and I winced.
Then I scurried out from under him.
His face contorted in what I could only assume was regret.
He reached for me. “Rayla. Please, you have to understand, I was a different person back then.”
I nodded, unable to speak, still trying to make sense of my reality. I touched the spot on my forehead that throbbed with renewed pain. I was starting to think that my encounter with the angel
was not a dream, after all. He’d said he had given me a message, but he needed to work on his communication skills.
Zach grabbed my shoulders. “What angel?”
I cringed away from him, but he wouldn’t let me go. He gave a sharp shake to my shoulders. “What angel?”
Anger rocketed into my body. How dare he treat me like this. I let out a growl that made him jump. “He didn’t exactly give me his name.”
Zach seemed to realize he was scaring me and his hands loosened their grip. His fingers found my cheek. His voice came out rushed, panicked. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Please forgive me.”
I shook my head at him. “How could you do it?”
His eyes grew distant as if he was pulled back into that time and place. “Things were much different then and so was I.”
“You’ve already told me that.”
His body stiffened. “What do you want me to say? That I wish I could take it back?” His face was now inches from mine, his bright eyes intense. “I can’t do that. I loved her, Rayla. I would never have changed a thing. Well, maybe I would have been softer at first, but she was everything to me. I couldn’t allow another man to have her.” His voice lowered to barely a whisper. “Even my best friend.”
I touched his bare chest and gave a slight push. His eyes fell to my fingers. Warm skin covered mine after his other hand moved to support him. No other part of him touched me, but he might as well have been pressed to every inch of me with how my body waited for him.
Without much effort I removed my hand from his. I was trying to understand, but how could I? I didn’t know what it was like to be in his position. All I knew was how unfair his actions had been to Faine and Luke.
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