Then Josephine thought about Parvarti. Her facial expressions, her gestures, her body language all spoke of one thing — immaturity. She’s just a kid. Why shouldn’t she be immature? Maybe I can help Parvarti stay on the straight and narrow path…
Josephine shook her head, trying to dislodge the corrupted thought pattern that had somehow lodged itself into her silly brain. She chuckled to herself.
Who the heck are you trying to fool, Josie? You’re gonna help Parvarti ‘along the straight and narrow path to ethical maturity’? Yikes. I’m starting to sound like Sipheria when she spends too much time on her self-righteous soapbox. Okay Josie. Here you are: ‘Little Miss always on the straight and narrow’ herself.
Daughter of: ‘I’m pretty sure I’ve never made a mistake, so I’m going to kick you in the ass if you even think about making one,’ Rai, Disagreeable, Supernaphim, Super-Bitch Mom.
She unexpectedly laughed out loud. What a joke this one is. I make it to Tertiaphim. I become Eden’s Theatre commander. And then I make the stupidest mistake in the Creation. And somehow, I think I can save a nitwit like Parvarti from stubbing her toe a few times?
She took in a deep breath. A joy came over her such that she had not felt since before she was first stationed in the Constellation of Norlatiadek and had begun to read the casualty reports.
As if for the first time, the Goddess within Josephine opened up, feeling everything around her — the sounds of the ocean, the crickets and frogs singing in the large inland swamp, the stealthy plays between predator and prey.
She felt the bliss of life. Her body trembled, momentarily overwhelmed with her clear insights.
She heard a soft hoot and looked back to the mischievous monkey, who looked back at her, grinning, loving his own mischievousness.
How long have I been shut down? she asked her heart. “A long time,” her heart answered back.
Josephine looked up at the sky, did a graceful pirouette, and blew a kiss to the stars. When she stopped spinning, she stared at Collin. His posture was hunched, his energy low, he looked blankly at the tree line. She had the desire to hit him. Again, she heard a soft hoot behind her and looked back at the monkey. The monkey gave her a nod of encouragement.
I think the monkey’s right. What do I have to worry about? PaPa Pesagniya will take over my position. He’s probably been just standing back, letting the snot-nosed little kid chew on this one for awhile. And after he takes over my position, I promise to be a very responsible and punctual snot-nosed little worker bee.
And the good part about all this is Michelle and I can have a social life. Now Michelle can…
She glanced at the monkey who continued to follow them — gracefully swinging from branch to branch along the tree line.
Michelle can finally get laid?
Michelle?
Forget Michelle.
How about me?
And then Josephine’s epiphany almost made her shout out loud: I finally get to have a boyfriend.
She pulled her right arm across her chest, pulled her fingers into a tight fist, and let it fly, hitting Collin in the shoulder with a whack so hard he stumbled.
He turned toward her, spreading his arms and raising his palms up and down in the air. “What the heck did you do that for?” he said under his breath, then massaged his shoulder.
“You’re not paying me any attention,” she said, speaking just loud enough for him to hear over the crash of the waves but softly enough that Pegasus and Parvarti could not. “Don’t you like me anymore?”
His mouth opened but no words came out.
“I mean, even if you don’t feel like talking, you could at least hold my hand. Or do you find me so physically repulsive you won’t even…”
“Oh shut up,” he said as he reached down and grabbed her hand, interlacing his fingers into hers, using the palm of his other hand to continue massaging his aching shoulder.
“Maybe if you hold my hand tight enough, I won’t hit you again,” she said playfully.
She had an uncontrollable desire to give Parvarti a good boot in the bottom. She studied her for a moment, visualizing her foot connecting and that small body flying through the air and landing on her face in the pink coral sand.
“Go ahead,” Collin said, reading Josephine’s intent. “Maybe a good kick in the ass will wake her up.”
“So how’d you get here alone with horny little Parvarti anyway? You just can’t keep yourself out of trouble, can you?”
“This was a setup,” he said, shaking his head.
“Oh sure it was,” she replied sarcastically. “You finally couldn’t keep away from that tight little ass, could you?”
He shot her an angry look but said nothing.
“Well, aren’t you even going to talk to me?” she pouted.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“So a girl has to be sick if she wants to have a conversation with a handsome guy? Or do you think I’m boring, or just not…”
“Stop. I give up. Tell me what to do.”
A grin spread across her face. “You’re supposed to be entertaining me.”
“Good, here’s something you’ll find entertaining. Skillit…”
“Oh, it was Skillit who set you up,” she said, turning and walking sideways.
“Of course it was Skillit who set me up. Who else?”
Josephine turned forward, slipping into a voice of perfect military calm. “Well, my records contain letters from at least a few hundred Angels who’d like to set you up for something unpleasant because of all the disappointing and unsatisfied evenings they’ve spent in your bed.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his jaw unhinge.
Thirty seconds crawled by. “Oh, you do not,” he said, giving her hand a small jerk.
“So Skillit set you up, huh?”
“She told me that she and a group of Angels were sailing to Belize so Parvarti could give them an ecological tour. I went over to the Institute and there she was with some others getting their boats and equipment ready. Skillit whispered for me to sail over with Parvarti and give her a thrill. Parvarti nattered continuously so I got distracted. I never looked back to see if the other sailboats were following. After we land, she continues to go on and on about all the things she wants to pick up for analysis. Before I know it, we’re in the water swimming, her holding my hand. I looked at the horizon and not another boat was in sight. That’s when the panic set in.”
“That conniving little bitch,” Josephine said.
“Those conniving little bitches.”
Josephine glanced at Parvarti’s back. She had the ability to speak continuously with no need for air. And Peg, as usual, was being a saint.
Parvarti paused, as if feeling something behind her but too unsure of herself to turn around. She whispered into Pegasus’ ear. Pegasus looked around cautiously, noticing Collin and Josephine holding hands. Josephine stared back at her with a, ‘Is there something you need?’ look on her face.
“They look miserable,” Pegasus replied, appearing to speak secretively, but angling her head so Josephine could hear. “I think they’re fighting.”
“Good,” Parvarti said, not realizing how loud and enthusiastic her voice was.
Josephine looked at Collin, her face holding something between confusion and disgust. “What the hay is wrong with that little bitch?” Josephine said, dropping the need to project the ideal image of a commanding officer.
“Conniving little bitches, as I recently explained,” Collin said.
“Does she really hate me that much, and I’ve been too stupid to see it?” she asked.
“Na. She doesn’t hate you — probably even loves you. She’s just jealous of you.”
“Why’s she jealous of me?” Josephine asked innocently.
Josephine studied Parvarti’s small backside and then shifted her attention back to Collin. He seemed better — the color was slowly returning to his face.
“Oh, I don’t know.
Why would any female be jealous of the beautiful Josephine? Nice to everyone, always does the right thing, perfect military record, genius commander in the toughest military situation in the Creation. Whose brilliant, unique strategies have kept her enemies off balance, while all the time never loosing touch with her dignity and character, not to mention her skill with languages, art, and science. I can’t think of a single reason why anyone or anything could possibly be jealous of you,” Collin said.
Perfect Princess PerfPe. Yep, that’s me, Josephine thought, smiling internally.
Collin continued. “Ya know, once I figured it out, I got some Intel on who you are. Butler Metcalf had some interesting things to say. The story goes that General Astiro had just left a few days earlier. And you know what a badass Ithuriel Astiro is. But then pretty little Josie shows up, and one of Metcalf’s guys...”
“Retard. His name was Retard,” Josie said matter-of-factly. Collin chuckled, knowing the guy’s name was not Retard; it was probably a name that sounded like ‘Retard’.
“…so Retard gives you some lip, and about a dozen of his guys…”
“Seven guys and one very tough little twat by the name of Betty-Lei,” Josephine corrected him.
“So you give them a suggestive look, take off your top down to your bra, and then toss your top over to Aniel. They look at Aniel, and he’s laughing. You’re already within a fist’s length waiting for them to turn around. Then you waded into them like a firestorm. Sent them all to the hospital?”
Josephine just nodded and smiled.
“And as Metcalf’s telling me this story, Skillit comes up and fills in the part about Aniel going over to the hospital and informing them how easy they just got off, considering who your mother is. As I understand it, you haven’t had a single problem with insubordination since then...except for mine of course.”
Josephine continued to smile.
“So, here you are,” Collin continued. “A tactical and strategic genius — an SAS hard-ass — the same Josephine who’s beautiful body made love to me for those ten incredible months. Gives me a little thrill just thinking about it.”
“So?” Josephine asked.
“Not to mention the most perfect set of tits I’ve ever sunk my teeth in.”
Josephine said nothing, and Collin could feel her tense. Why did I say such a crude thing.
“Well, I guess coming from a man-whore like you, I should feel complimented,” Josephine shouted loud enough for every creature on their side of the island to hear.
Parvarti could not stop herself. She had to turn around. Josephine glared at Collin, jerking her hand out of his as if it were contaminated.
Everyone continued to walk in silence.
Josephine threw her voice to Collin’s ear. “Is she still looking at us?” Josephine asked affectionately.
Collin had never heard Josephine raise her voice but he knew what she was doing.
Collin looked at Parvarti as if pleading for help. She whipped her head back to the front. “Not any more,” he whispered.
“Good wounded face, by the way,” Josephine said lightheartedly. “You really looked quite pathetic. Reckon little Parvarti still thinks it’s good we’re fighting?” Josephine took Collin’s hand again, interlaced her fingers with his, raised it to her lips, and gave it a tender kiss.
Pegasus, feeling a bit concerned, looked back at Josephine. Josephine gave her an impish grin. Pegasus looked up, shook her head to the stars, and then turned back to Parvarti. They launched into conversation again as if nothing had happened.
“Well, I still can’t believe any Angel would be jealous of me,” Josephine mumbled absentmindedly. Perfect Princess PerfPe isn’t quite as confident as she seems.
“You couldn’t possibly be that naïve, could you?”
“Well, ask Pegasus,” Josephine said, gesturing toward Pegasus’ broad back. “She says I’m naïve.”
“Peg,” Collin called out.
Pegasus looked back. Parvarti wanted to but forced herself to keep her eyes straight ahead.
“Is Josie naïve?”
Pegasus looked back and forth between them, twisting her mouth as if contemplating the possibility this might be a trick question. Josephine stared back at her, grinning like a defiant child awaiting an irrelevant parental verdict.
“Josie’s got to be one of the most naïve creatures I’ve ever met. If I personally hadn’t seen her exceptional mind at work, I’d say she’s just plain stupid.”
“Thanks friend. Love you too,” Josephine replied.
The conversations resumed in front of Josephine and Collin, with Pegasus expertly distracting Parvarti with some questions about the wildlife.
“So you really don’t get that Parvarti is so envious of you she turns green whenever you’re around?” Collin asked.
“She’s already green.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Nope. Never paid it any attention.”
“Well, she is. Especially when we were seeing each other. And,” Collin smiled knowingly, “she’s also jealous of your relationship with Frank.”
“What?” Josephine stopped.
Collin just smiled, nodding his head. “All the time you two spend alone with each other. We can only imagine what goes on between you and Lieutenant Colonel Frank Haiguns behind closed doors.”
“She really thinks Frank and I are…”
“Yep.”
“Yuck. That would be like doing it with an annoying little brother.”
“Yep.”
“But with Frank?”
“Sure. Why not. Lots of girls think Frank is massively, sexually attractive. Aniel, too.”
Her intellect instantly shot up a shield that prevented the very notion of sex with Aniel from even approaching long-term memory.
“That’s way too disturbing to think about, so I won’t,” Josephine said.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, but Collin could tell something else was on her mind. Finally, she said it.
“Was I really any good for y…”
“Oh Josie, stop,” he said, tugging her hand. “How can you possibly believe you aren’t good at sex?”
“Well, actually, I don’t have that much experience. And even less with love-making.”
Collin studied her. She had been toying with him all evening.
She gave him a shy look.
“No, no, no. Not possible. I did finally look up your record. I have at least some vague idea what someone has to go through in order to become a theatre commander.”
“Well, truthfully, there’s only been…”
“Stop. Please don’t tell me. I already feel like a shit. This will just make it worse,” he said as he quickly pulled her along.
“Yep. I was just calculating it,” Josephine continued, ignoring Collin’s petition. “Since age of consent, including you, I’ve averaged one lover every fifteen…” She deliberately paused, allowing Collin plenty of time to speculate what time period she was going to declare. “… 15,208,579 years.”
Josephine felt Collin’s brain churning.
“I’m really a slut, huh? But the way I figure, why be an unexceptional lover when I can be a splendid general.” She straightened her back, looking like a Nazz on parade.
Collin pulled Josephine to a halt. “Josie, is this some kind of weird joke? What do you mean? One lover every fifteen million years?”
“Sweetie. I mean that since coming of age, as a stage two Seraphim, I’ve averaged one Celestial lover every fifteen million two hundred and eight…”
Collin raised his hand. “Stop. Didn’t need any numbers beyond the fifteen million.” He shook his head. “Josie. There have been plenty of times when I’ve been with fifteen Angels in a single week. Is there something seriously demented going on here?”
Josephine smiled apprehensively, but said nothing.
“So how old does that make you?” he asked reflexively, convinced that the answer could not be more bizarre than wha
t he had just heard.
Josephine tilted her head, calculating. Obviously not old enough to see you coming. “Oh, let’s see. What to base it on?”
“Oh, years would be fine.”
She looked at him like he was being silly. “Okay, let’s base it on when the blue moon comes up out of the ocean.” One blue moon orbit around Oceania, an L3 day, was equivalent to one day on Eden’s Material realm.
She scanned the sky looking for the blue moon. “That way.” She pointed to the horizon in the direction of Oceania where the storm was still launching lightning bolts across the sky.
“As soon as the blue moon fully breaks with the horizon, I will be exactly…In Planet Eden Material time, of course.”
“Of course,” Collin came back sarcastically.
“So, I’ll be four hundred and two million, one hundred and sixty four thousand, four hundred and seventy nine point one seven three one zero one zero…”
Collin held up his hand. “Josie, stop. Please. I’m about to come unhinged here. How could you possibly…”
“Sorry, it’s just a Goddess thing. Accuracy, you know. Oh,” she exclaimed. “Here she comes now.”
Josephine aligned their positions so she was looking at the side of Collin’s head while Collin was looking at the horizon. He looked confused.
“The moon, you silly.” She pointed at the blue moon. “The number for my age I just gave you is based on when the blue moon comes up and clears the horizon. Right?”
He watched the moon rise as she closed her eyes.
“What do you mean, you’re four hundred million years old?”
“Oh, sure. I get it,” she said playfully. “It’s just the standard Havona way of registering ages. It’s just how many years ago I left Havona and incarnated into this Creation, number 700,000, King Joshua’s Creation. Into this Celestial Body.”
Collin opened his mouth to speak, but she continued. “Why? You got a problem with old chicks?
“Stop,” Collin cried.
“Sweetie. It ain’t no big thing.” She gently took his big green hand, tugging him along. “Not for a Goddess.”
She squeezed Collin’s hand harder, turned, and smiled sweetly.
Collin began to feel like he was falling again. Irrespective of whether she was Valkyrie or a dress shop owner, he would have never considered she was anything other than an Angel or perhaps an Artisan. Goddess would have never entered his mind.
Lilith: Eden's Planetary Princess (The Michael Archives Book 1) Page 34
