He swallowed, the ache for her growing into a black hole inside him. A ripple of need fueled by electricity shocked him and he felt a shudder go through her, too, a shivery current that bounced back and forth between them.
And just like that the lonely months of being without her disappeared and it was like second nature to touch his lips to hers. Warm didn’t begin to describe the sensation. Hot. It was hot and wet and… Wow. Then he heard her moan, a sound of pure pleasure that crushed out rational thought and he knew the waiting was done.
He couldn’t fight the want and need any longer knowing she wanted and needed him, too.
He let her slide down his front until her feet touched the floor, then turned and pressed her against the wall, holding her there with his lower body as she arched her hips into his. He threaded his fingers in her hair as he kissed her over and over, chest pounding, her breathy moans pumping through him.
She smelled so good and felt like heaven. She was so soft, so curvy and so much woman that any idea of not touching her bare skin went straight out the window. He settled his hands on the line of skin that had tormented him since the second she’d opened the door. The feel of her flesh was like a shot of adrenaline straight to his heart.
He slid his hands up higher until he found her breasts in his palms and was pathetically grateful that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples and felt them pebble and grow hard. The sensation drove him crazy and all he could think about was being inside her.
After unfastening her shorts, he pushed them down and over her hips until they dropped to the floor. She reached out and unbuckled the belt on his jeans, then fumbled with the button and zipper before he pushed them down. He managed to yank out his wallet and snag the condom he always kept there, then roll it on. The next thing he knew, her legs were locked around his hips and he was buried inside her.
With his arms around her, he protected her back from the hard wall as he thrust into her over and over. Her breath came in gasps as she met each push until her body stilled and she clung to him while a series of shudders gripped her. With one final thrust, he joined her in release and groaned out his satisfaction.
For several moments they just held on to each other, struggling to get their breath. Finally he lifted his head and she let her legs slide down.
He stared at her. “I didn’t come over here for that, but I’d be lying if I said I was sorry.”
“I know.” She dragged in air. “I’m not quite sure what to say.”
“Then let’s not—” He wasn’t sure what they shouldn’t do, but she nodded agreement. “I’ll just go and—”
A cry from down the hall interrupted him and he felt Em’s relaxed muscles go tight as she straightened.
“Annie—” She looked up at him. “Sometimes when she goes to sleep this early, it’s just a nap and she’s not in for the night.”
“There’s nothing wrong?” There were so many things wrong right now that he’d lost count, but he meant with his daughter.
Em shook her head. “I don’t think so, but I’ll go check on her.”
She scrambled into her panties and shorts and straightened her top. Hot pink. That was prophetic. Hot didn’t begin to describe what he’d felt. Being with Em just now ranked as the best sex of his life, which should make him more relaxed than he’d ever been. Not so much. Instead of taking the edge off, he was even more keyed up. He had more questions than answers. Including why even reminding himself about the woman who’d lied to him in his past hadn’t stopped him from making love with the woman who’d lied in his present.
* * *
Em sat in the glider chair in Annie’s bedroom, giving the baby a bottle while Cal sat on the ottoman in front of them and watched. Twenty minutes ago she’d lost control and made love with him. That was intimacy. But now—father, mother, baby—the three of them together, that was intimate in a solid, normal, family way.
This was a moment she’d never expected to have, especially because she’d thought he would disappear after getting what he wanted. But maybe he wanted more than that. A jealous man wasn’t indifferent and it was possible that he could want both her and his daughter.
“So you’re still bringing Annie over to my house for a swim on Saturday?”
Em nodded. “She loved the water so much on her birthday.”
“Good. I’ll look forward to it.”
“Me, too.”
She looked down and noticed their little water baby had stopped sucking on her bottle and milk dribbled down the side of her mouth. Taking the soft burp diaper she kept handy, Em wiped the moisture away. She started to set the bottle on the dresser beside her but Cal held out his hand.
“Thanks,” she whispered, and kept gliding back and forth.
“Are you going to put her in the crib?”
“In a few minutes. If I don’t wait until she’s sound asleep, she’ll be wide awake. And after a power nap, it could be a long time before she settles down again.”
He shook his head. “It’s amazing.”
“What?”
“Everything.” His big body made the ottoman look really small, and uncomfortable. He rested his elbows on his widespread knees and held the bottle in his hands.
She smiled and knew there was a trace of tenderness in it. “Define everything.”
“Annie’s world. All you know about her. Likes and dislikes. How to handle every situation. Her personality. The fact that she might not go right back to sleep if the stars and planets aren’t perfectly aligned.”
“That’s just the tiniest bit dramatic.”
“But you know what I mean.”
She did. He’d missed out on that part of the parental learning curve. Guilt shot through her even though she’d promised herself to let it go. “Actually I pay attention because I’m selfish and lazy.”
He looked surprised. “You might want to explain that.”
“My job is easier if she’s happy. I remember what she likes and doesn’t like so that she eats and sleeps and is healthy.”
“Ah. So it has nothing to do with loving her a lot.”
“Of course not,” she teased back. “And that’s a big fat lie. I love her more than I can even put into words. How can you not love your own baby?”
“Yeah.” He reached out and ran a finger over Annie’s chubby arm. “What happened when she was born?”
“I went into labor. Twelve hours, by the way. It was uncomfortable, then I pushed and she came out.” She shrugged.
“Smart aleck.” He gave her a wry look. “I meant was anyone with you?”
How diplomatic. What he wanted to know was whether or not she was alone. “Sophia.”
“Who’s she?”
“Sophia Green, a social worker friend of mine. She manages The Nanny Network child-care center. She drove me to the hospital when my water broke and stuck around through labor and delivery. She was my Lamaze coach and continues to be my friend.”
She thought it best not to mention just now that Sophia had convinced her to tell Cal about Annie after finding the breast lump.
“What about your mother?”
Emily had told him she and her mother weren’t close but no details. “Mom passed away before Annie was born. It wasn’t unexpected.”
“Was she ill?”
“Yes. Cancer. And it didn’t help that alcohol was her main source of nutrition for as long as I can remember.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. She doesn’t deserve it.”
Again he looked surprised. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“What?”
“Why you’re so angry with her,” he said.
“She’s gone. There’s nothing to say.”
He looked surprised. “I’ve never known you to be anything but caring and concerned. This is different. I’m a good listener.”
“Right. Wonder Doc, the golden boy of Mercy Medical Center gets in touch with his feminine side.”
&n
bsp; “Joke if you want. It’s a defense mechanism.” He set the baby bottle on the rug beside him, then linked his fingers together. “And for the record, a good doctor listens first before doing anything. Otherwise there’s no way to figure out what’s wrong.”
Just when she was starting to feel good about him, her, Annie and the future, he had to bring up the past she was desperately trying to forget. “You don’t really want to hear this.”
He studied her. “I think you don’t really want to tell it.”
“Wonder Doc strikes again,” she said. He was good.
“So tell me what happened. You’ll feel better.”
“How about if I take two aspirin and call you in the morning?”
He smiled. “You’re stalling.”
“Right again.” She shifted Annie more comfortably in her arms. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”
“If you insist. But they say confession is good for the soul.”
She softly kissed her daughter’s forehead before looking at Cal. Maybe he was right. More important, he was a doctor. He cared deeply about kids and wanted a good outcome for his patients. And now he had his own child. Clearly he had Annie’s best interests at heart. Surely he would understand that all those years ago the welfare of her baby was why she’d made the most difficult, painful decision of her life? It finally felt safe to tell someone about what she’d gone through.
After taking a deep breath, she said, “I got pregnant when I was fifteen years old.”
Em had never quite understood the meaning of pregnant pause until now. Clearly that declaration had stunned him into speechlessness and she didn’t plan to fill the void with words.
“What happened?” he finally asked.
“My mother told me that she couldn’t even afford to take care of me. No way could I bring a baby into the house for her to support. She gave me an ultimatum to give the baby up for adoption or find another place to live.”
“So you gave your child away?”
She winced at the censure in his voice. “I ran away.”
“To a friend’s house? What about the baby’s father?”
“After I told him I was pregnant, I never saw him again.” She shook her head. “My own father was never in the picture. At that time being raised by a single mother who disappeared from reality into a cheap bottle of wine didn’t help you fit in. Friends are hard to come by when you’re different from everyone else.”
“Where did you go?”
A chill went down her spine and she shivered. To this day she embraced the desert’s summer heat and loathed the weeks of bitter cold that the chamber of commerce didn’t advertise. “I had nowhere to go. I lived on the street.”
“I don’t understand—”
“Then let me spell it out. I had no food except what I could scrounge out of Dumpsters. It didn’t take long to figure out that the ones by restaurants were bountiful with scraps. I stole food, too. When I was so hungry I couldn’t stand it.”
“What about the baby? Prenatal care?”
She laughed but the sound was bitter. “What part of nowhere to live and nothing to eat did you not understand? I didn’t even know about prenatal care and even if I did, I couldn’t take care of myself, let alone go to a doctor.”
“What did you do?”
“I met a guy who took me under his wing.”
Fire and ice slid into Cal’s blue eyes. “A pimp?”
She nodded. “He set me up with a guy in a cheap motel, but I couldn’t go through with it.”
“What happened to the baby?” he asked.
Em tightened her hold on Annie as her eyes blurred with tears. “I loved that child. He was all I’d ever had that was pure and good. I couldn’t stand the thought that he would be hungry and cold. That he wouldn’t have a roof over his head and clothes. And toys. And a family. So I went back home, if you call a trailer park in the wrong part of town home.”
“And?”
“She took me back in on the condition that I’d give the baby up for adoption.” She shivered again at the cool expression in his eyes. “I went back to school, but none of the other girls were allowed to hang out with me because I was in trouble. To the boys I was fair game. After all, I couldn’t get pregnant because I already was.”
She’d never been so alone and lonely in her life. All she’d had was the baby growing inside her and giving him away had been like cutting out her heart and soul.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“It’s not something you just blurt out,” she defended. “Hi. I’m Emily. I had a baby when I was fifteen and gave him up for adoption.”
“Surely there were alternatives.”
“Yeah. I chose not to say anything,” she said, a bad feeling pressing on her chest.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He stood and ran his fingers through his hair. “Did you challenge your mother’s ultimatum?”
“You mean have the baby and bring him home?”
“Something like that?”
“Obviously you didn’t know my mother. This was the same woman who helped me pack a bag and held the door for me when I said I’d run away if she made me give up my baby.”
“I can’t believe she meant that.”
She couldn’t believe he was missing the point. “You have supportive parents, Cal. There are a lot of kids who don’t.”
“What about assistance programs? State-funded agencies to help?”
“I didn’t know of any and there was no one to help me find out.” She took a deep breath to hold those black memories back or lose the ability to find the right words and make him understand. “I was hardly more than a child myself. I loved my child more than anything but didn’t see any way to keep him. I had no alternative and it was more painful than I can tell you. That’s why I’m so committed to Helping Hands and giving the girls another choice when they’re in a situation like that.”
He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. “Isn’t that like ‘do as I say not as I do’?”
Emily stilled and couldn’t get her breath. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“I thought I knew you. I was wrong,” he said, looking down at her.
Em stood with their daughter’s solid, soundly sleeping weight in her arms. She moved to the crib and settled Annie on her back, pulling a light blanket over her bare legs and feet. Without a word, she walked past Cal and into the living room as anger poured through her.
Moments later Cal walked in behind her. “I better go.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” she agreed. “But first I want my say.”
“Okay.” He settled his hands on lean hips.
“I had no idea your sense of fairness was so impaired. You’ll never know what it feels like to be a child yourself, pregnant with nowhere to turn. How dare you be so self-righteous? Until you walk in my shoes, you don’t get a vote on how I lived my life.”
“You should have said something.”
“It was on a need-to-know basis and you didn’t need to know.” She stared up at him, refusing to be intimidated. Not ever again. “I came to you because the lump in my breast made me face my mortality and how that could affect Annie’s future. That doesn’t give you the right to pass judgment on my past. I made the best decision I could make under the circumstances. But I’m not that defenseless child any longer. We have a baby and you can always expect straightforward and honest communication where she’s concerned. A child connects us, but that doesn’t entitle you to run my life.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
After he closed the door, she sank down on the couch and refused to let the tears fall. Here he was again. Just when she’d gotten her life together. She’d thought it was safe to share with him her most personal, painful secret. She’d been wrong. But Cal was wrong about talk making her feel better.
Confession might be good for the soul, but it was hell on the heart.
Chapter Eight
To his way of thinking, a woman with no agenda wouldn’t keep information to herself. Em had done that more than once. The second time was when she found out she was pregnant with his child. The first was about her past and giving her baby up for adoption. That was important and character-defining information.
In the E.R. break room, he walked to the counter where the coffeepot sat with a stack of paper cups beside it. After grabbing one, he poured coffee into it, then sat in one of the utilitarian metal-framed chairs with orange-plastic seats. Sections of the Review Journal newspaper were spread out over the top of the rectangular table in the center of the room. Half-eaten bagels and donuts turning as hard as hockey pucks were scattered on top of the papers along with empty cups, napkins and an open bag of chips.
Cal moved aside the debris to find the sports section of the newspaper and opened it, but instead of baseball standings and teasers about the approaching football season, he kept seeing a pair of teasing, tempting brown eyes.
The door opened and he looked up, grateful to see Rhonda Levin standing there.
“What’s up?” he asked. “Do you need me?”
The nurse manager critically scanned the table. “Easy, Doc. I just came in to straighten up this place.”
“Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“I don’t know how to respond to that.” He’d been hoping for something to take his mind off Emily, but that wasn’t something he was prepared to say out loud. “It’s like asking if you’ve stopped beating your wife. There’s no answer that doesn’t make you look bad.”
“So you’re bored and wanting something to do with yourself?” she asked, gathering up the trash on the table.
He knew that somewhere in the question was a deep hole just waiting for him to fall in, but wasn’t quite sure where it was, making a lateral move difficult to pull off. Cautiously he said, “I was wishing to be just a little busier.”
Committed to the Baby: Claiming King's BabyThe Doctor's Secret Baby Page 23
