He nodded. “I’m going before you change your mind about that.”
This time when he walked away she didn’t follow even though she was still confused. He implied that he was helping out for her. What did that mean? Maybe he respected what she was trying to do, but she wasn’t sure that he liked her. He definitely didn’t trust her. Why would he do anything for her that was so heroically above and beyond the call of duty?
Just when she thought she had him all figured out he had to go and change the rules.
* * *
The next day Cal drove away from Em’s place with her beside him in the passenger seat. He glanced sideways and noted that she looked pensive.
“I appreciate you going with me to pick out a gift for Mitch and Sam’s baby.”
“How could I say no after you played guardian angel last night?”
“What happened to hero?” he asked, glancing over at her.
“That, too.” She met his gaze for a second, but his teasing hadn’t chased away her tension. “Are you sure your mom’s going to be okay with Annie?”
He continued to the entrance of the 95 Freeway and got on, seamlessly merging into northbound traffic. “Absolutely. She insisted, especially when I mentioned shopping for Mitch’s new baby boy. Mom’s been wanting to spend quality time with Annie and this seemed a perfect opportunity.”
“I kind of got that when she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“That, too.” He grinned at her.
“You don’t find it ironic that we’re shopping for a baby gift and dumped our baby on your mother?”
“No. Besides the fact that Annie’s taking a nap, what Mom said made sense. It will be faster and easier to pick out just the right thing by ourselves and she’s perfectly capable of babysitting.” Something was bugging her and he was in too good a mood to spoil it by persuading her to discuss what was on her mind. Better to change the subject. “Isn’t it amazing that we’re both off today?”
“It’s a good thing you are after the night you had.”
“Yeah.”
It had been a long night and not just because of looking in on Henry. Since Lucy and Patty’s place was crowded with Jonas there, Cal had commandeered Em’s couch to snag some z’s whenever he could. It wasn’t often considering that the apartment smelled like her. Between looking in on Henry and thinking about Emily’s soft, sweet skin and how exciting it would be to touch her everywhere, sleep had been elusive.
Just before dawn Annie had awakened him when she’d grabbed his nose in her chubby little fingers. It was the first time he’d had a chance to watch her toddle happily around first thing in the morning and that energized him somehow. Then his mom had called to see if he still wanted her to help him shop for a baby gift, which had evolved into her watching Annie.
He glanced sideways and noticed that Em looked uncomfortable. At the risk of spoiling his mood, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“So many things, so little time.”
“Pick one,” he suggested.
“Can I have two?”
“Knock yourself out.”
“Actually number one is how your mom will hold up with our little bundle of energy, and I have to bow to your wisdom on that.” She twisted her fingers together in her lap.
“What’s number two?”
“Are you sure it’s okay to leave Henry?”
They’d already been through this and he got the distinct impression that she was creating speed bumps to this shopping expedition where none existed. “Technically we’re not leaving Henry. He’s being well cared for by his mother and father.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She met his gaze. “Is it okay for you to be away?”
“Yes.”
She looked at him expectantly. “Care to elaborate?”
“Kids bounce back incredibly fast. You don’t need an M.D. after your name to see that he was feeling his oats this morning. That kid is high-energy and he’s got the battle scars to prove it. Frankly, the hardest thing for Patty and Jonas will be to keep him quiet. They don’t need extra people around stirring him up.”
“You’re sure?”
He glanced over and briefly met her gaze. “First do no harm. Words every doctor lives by. You watch, wait and intervene when necessary. Last night was all about watching and waiting. I was there if he needed anything, which is what would have happened if he’d stayed overnight in the hospital. He was quiet in the E.R. but you never know if that’s part of the trauma or just a symptom of a new and scary environment. It’s my job to make the call about whether or not skilled observation is indicated. I believe in erring on the side of caution. Patty and Jonas felt they could handle it. Fortunately, they were right and today, except for the sutures in his forehead, you’d never know he took a header yesterday.” He briefly met her gaze before looking at the road again. “I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t okay.”
“Wow, that was quite a speech.” She smiled just a little. “I guess it goes with the new wheels.”
“I was wondering when you were going to notice.” He’d traded “the princess” in for this Lexus SUV. “There was nowhere for Annie in the other car since it was a two-seater and she couldn’t sit in the front. This is more kid-friendly.”
“A family vehicle,” she said, a tinge of wistfulness in her voice.
That was the second time in two days that she’d mentioned family. It wasn’t something he had an answer for and decided saying nothing was the best way to do no harm.
He exited at Lake Mead Boulevard, turned left and crossed over the freeway, then made a left-hand turn into the shopping center where the baby warehouse store was located. It was hard to miss what with the humongous giraffe on the outside of the building.
They parked in front, then entered the store. He looked around at the overwhelming inventory of kid stuff and shook his head.
“I don’t know where to start,” he admitted.
“I’m shocked and appalled.”
“If this were an emergency situation you’d get to feel that way. But I’m completely out of my element. It’s why I brought you along. Any suggestions?”
“Do you know if Sam and Mitch registered here?” She sighed at his blank look. “For gifts. Like prospective brides and grooms, expectant moms and dads register their product preferences with a store for shower gifts or even after the baby is born so that anyone wishing to purchase something will know what to get.”
“Did you do that with Annie?”
She nodded, but instead of pleasure in the memory, her expression turned pensive. “Sophia threw a baby shower and I registered here.”
“Then you know how to check and see if Mitch and Sam did.”
“I do.”
“Lead the way.” He followed her to a computer terminal and they plugged in the names, but couldn’t find any information.
“I guess we’re flying blind, then,” she said. “Let’s start in the infant section, zero to six months.”
There was an abundance of equipment for keeping infants happy. Papasan infant seat on a frame. Soothing Motions glider. Cradle swing with batteries to keep it moving. He was skeptical of the Jumperoo, a circular frame with a seat in the center.
It was green. “I like the color, but am philosophically opposed to the concept.”
“In what way?” she asked.
“Babies need to be free to move around and develop large-muscle skills. If they’re confined in something like this for too long a period of time, that can’t happen.”
Em looked at him. “Annie’s pediatrician warned me about that.”
“Great minds,” he said.
They walked up and down several aisles filled with clothes, bottles, nursing pillows and racks of tiny nail clippers, thermometers and plastic baby bottles. Emily stopped and picked up some sort of sling. There was a tender look on her face.
“I had one of these,” she said.
He’d seen new mothers with them and the infant swaddled
close to their body. “Did it work for you?”
“Keeps the baby close and hands free,” she said softly. “I can’t believe she’s too big for it now. Seems like yesterday she was tiny enough to tie her to me or put her down and I’d know where she was when I came back. Now she’s all over the place and into everything.”
“While we’re here, maybe we should get some of this stuff so I can safety proof your place and mine.”
“Okay.”
They passed strollers, cribs, furniture and finally stopped in the toy section. There was a Melodies & Lights Gym floor pad with a tentlike frame containing hanging toys and spinning butterflies that fit over it. Then he spotted two things he had to get.
Cal picked up a red-plastic medical case and read the contents: blue disposable gloves, neon bandages, two-by-two gauze pads, antiseptic wipes and hand gels.
“It’s a doctor kit. Mitch will get a kick out of this even if the little guy is too young to appreciate it.” He grabbed two more.
“You’re buying three?” Em looked puzzled. “Is one for Annie?”
“Yeah,” he said. “And I think Henry might like one, too.”
“Very sweet of you.”
“I’m glad you approve. And before you say anything I’m planning to get something for Oscar or it wouldn’t be fair.” He went to a display of T-shirts for new parents and looked them over. One had the Superman design with the word Dad inside it. Another said New Dad. And he picked up the winner that proclaimed Dad Survived Delivery. “I’m getting this for Mitch. He’s been a basket case waiting for Sam to have that baby.”
“It’s pretty exciting—” She stopped and before she turned away he thought there was a sheen of tears in her eyes.
“Em?” Cal saw her shoulders tense. “What is it? And don’t say it’s nothing because you’ve been acting weird since we got in the car.”
“It’s just—” She turned and rubbed a finger beneath her nose.
“Seriously. I’m not kidding.” He’d have pointed a finger at her but his hands were full. “What’s bothering you?”
“Looking at all this stuff makes me sad.”
He glanced around at the pastel and bright primary colors, the soft cheery wall hangings along with baby blankets and was mystified. “Why? In addition to Disneyland, this has got to be one of the happiest places on earth.”
“Not the last time I was here.” She sighed and sad eyes looked into his. “I was pregnant and alone. My fault. I get that.”
He hadn’t brought her along for revenge. He was way over that now. Being a dad to Annie left no energy for anything but moving forward, wherever that took him. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know.” She shrugged. “I can’t help it. You’re not the only one who missed out. Bringing Annie into the world was amazing, but it would have been so much richer in memories if you’d shared the experience with me.”
“Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He set down the medical kits and T-shirt, then nudged her chin up with his knuckle. “We both made mistakes, but right here, right now we put the past away and start fresh. We start sharing the experience of raising our daughter. You and me—we’re going to pick out something for her together.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” Em brushed away a tear from the corner of her eye and smiled.
She looked so beautiful at that moment. His chest got tight and his pulse throbbed. Making peace with her wasn’t problem free. Parenting together meant spending time with Em as well as his daughter. Annie was a joy. The magnitude of his wanting for Em was not.
God help him, it was like waiting for the other shoe to fall. Again.
Chapter Eleven
Emily could understand why Cal had asked her to help him shop for a baby gift, but the invitation to tag along when he delivered it was beyond her ability to rationalize. All she could think was that he wanted to show off Annie and didn’t trust himself alone with her yet. However, the confidence he displayed while holding newborn Lucas Tenney could make a case for her being wrong, which she very much wanted to be. A very large part of her wanted to believe he’d asked her to come along because he liked spending time with her.
The couple had recently bought a new house in the McDonald Highlands development in Henderson. It was a sprawling two-story with curving staircases and panoramic views of the golf course from the plush green sectional where they were gathered in the family room. Gift paper littered the floor as Samantha Ryan Tenney eagerly and enthusiastically ripped into the gifts Cal had brought.
The brown-eyed blonde held up the toy medical kit. “Look, Mitch. This is too cute.”
Her dark-haired husband laughed. “Yeah, nothing like putting pressure on the kid to follow in his father’s footsteps.”
“It’s not a bad life.” Cal looked around at the high ceiling, river-rock fireplace and huge kitchen with stainless-steel appliances. “You’re doing okay. And with the practice expanding, we stand to be pretty successful.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Mitch protested. “I love what I do. It’s about time the south valley had a facility and they finally will with Mercy Medical Center finishing construction on the third campus.”
“It won’t be long until the structure is ready, but that’s the easy part,” Cal said.
“It doesn’t look easy,” Emily commented. “I’ve been by the construction on the 215 and Durango and it looks pretty complicated.”
“That’s all about building codes and passing fire department specifications.” Mitch shook his head. “After that it’s getting down to the nitty gritty details of policies, procedures and protocols. Budget. Equipment. Before that they need to pass inspections and get certification for radiology, blood gas lab. The personnel needs to be in place. Our own Jake Andrews is a candidate for Trauma Medical Coordinator.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” Sam said, surprised.
Mitch indicated his son. “I’ve had a few other things on my mind.”
“Like birth?” she said, one eyebrow arching. “That must have been hard on you.”
“It was. Cal knows,” he said, his expression pleading with his partner for backup. “I was checking my beeper constantly, waiting for the call.”
“Poor you. That was just as mentally challenging as waiting for your water to break and labor contractions to start.”
“A little help, buddy. Change the subject,” Mitch pleaded, holding up the toy medical kit.
“I got Annie one, too,” Cal said without missing a beat. He was standing with the sleeping newborn, swaying back and forth. “They can be in therapy together.”
As if hearing her name was the signal to turn on her fidgeting, their little girl squirmed to get down.
“Reprieve is over,” Em said, watching as her toddler sat beside the wrapping paper and grabbed a box. “Don’t worry, I’m on full alert so she doesn’t turn your lovely home into a postapocalyptic wasteland.”
Mitch grinned. “Are you saying that we should enjoy this time before Lucas becomes mobile?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she agreed.
“In spite of the fact that he wakes up every two or three hours to eat, and we’d very much like him to grow out of that?” Sam asked.
“I guess that’s the definition of conflict,” Em said wistfully. “You want them to be normal and grow and learn. Yet this time when you have a chance to protect them passes by in a heartbeat.”
She glanced at Cal who was staring at the infant and wondered what was going through his mind. Was he thinking about missing out on seeing Annie at the same age? He wasn’t the only one missing out. More and more Em was seeing how Cal embraced being a father. How things might have been if she’d given him an opportunity to screw up before judging him not willing to take responsibility.
“A chance is what it’s all about.” Mitch watched Annie as she pounded the box lid up and down chattering away. Then he turned his gaze on his son. “Sometimes a life doesn’t even get tha
t.”
Sam’s expression turned sympathetic and tender. “This is a time to look forward, not back.”
“What are you talking about?” Cal asked.
“My first wife decided to discontinue birth control without a discussion when we were having problems. She got pregnant but the trouble didn’t go away, so she decided to get rid of the baby, also without discussion. I hate that my child never had a chance.”
“Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry—” Clearly Em wouldn’t win a communicator of the year award, but at least she’d tried to tell Cal. And as sad as it made her to not know how her first child was getting along in this world, at least he was in this world with a chance at life.
“How come I didn’t know about that?” Cal asked, frowning.
“The marriage ended and there wasn’t any reason to bring it up.” Mitch shrugged, then smiled tenderly at his wife. “At least not until my tenacious conflict-resolution counselor made me.”
“When he says tenacious, he means pit bull,” Sam explained. “But we certainly did have our conflicts to resolve. It wasn’t easy sailing for us.”
“You also have a healthy and handsome little guy,” Cal said, smiling down at the little guy in question who was squeaking and squirming in his arms. “Did you know that Em is running a program called Helping Hands that mentors teenage moms who don’t get any support from their families?”
“Really?” Sam looked genuinely interested.
Em nodded. “I have two girls right now. The housing was donated by Ginger Davis, president and founder of The Nanny Network. Donations and grant money subsidize what the girls make. They share child care and juggle college classes and part-time jobs. But the program gives them another alternative when an unplanned pregnancy occurs.”
She glanced at Cal who was studying her. Instead of resentment or disapproval in his expression, she swore there was pride.
“Em is doing a really good thing for those girls,” he commented. “She has specific rules, one of which is getting an education. It’s the only way to become an independent member of society and not a drain on taxpayers. The girls work hard. One of them is coparenting with her son’s father who is also working hard while he goes to school. Jonas has a good head on his shoulders.”
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