“As long as you want me to,” I answered. I had a feeling that I was getting the hang of this. Being totally blinded and sensory deprived was a trippy experience, but I knew a little about what his intentions were. He was attempting to drive me to want him. I wondered if he knew how little he had to do to get me there. I wanted him then, but he was going to take this to the point where I was begging for him. Where I relied on him for everything, and then once he finally touched me, I would be his. Well, little did he know I would never be his. This might be enjoyable, but no one was going to own me.
“Maybe tomorrow…maybe the next day. Do you know how difficult it is for me to resist you?”
I moaned absently.
“Yes, I know what you want.” He ran a single finger down my side as he leaned in to whisper. “Wait.”
Chapter 9
Jake knelt beside me on the bed. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him, and finally, he was touching me. It had gone from feather touches to fingertips, to his mouth moving along every inch of my body, except for the areas I wanted him to touch so desperately.
For days it went on like this, until long last, one evening he said it was time. He was going to take off the blindfold and he would be taking me to bed. There were no expectations, other than that I submit to him completely. I was shocked to find that all I wanted to do after my eyes adjusted to the light, was to crawl into bed with him and feel my skin against his.
“Things are going to get rough,” he said as he pulled me close. “I’m going to demand things of you and you are going to give them because you are my submissive and you want to give these things to me. And because I give you so much in return.”
I curled my body against his, savoring every warm inch of his skin. The days spent bound to the bed had been torturous, but lovely. I knew I still couldn’t touch myself and the thought of bringing myself to orgasm made me crazy. As badly as I wanted it, I knew I didn’t dare. That was for him and him alone to do while I was here until he commanded otherwise.
He held me tight against his broad chest. He was fit, like a runner, and his muscles were sinewy under his skin.
“But your first time…I don’t want that to be rough. No whips, no rope. Just me and you. I’m honored to be the one and I know how special this is to do as you’re becoming my submissive. Tell me how you would like it.”
My mind reeled. I couldn’t believe he was asking me or that I had a choice in the matter. I didn’t think he was just going to take me one night, but I certainly hadn’t considered that he would be asking me my opinions.
“I’ve wanted you to fuck me since the first night I saw you. You don’t have to be gentle. I want it to be like you want me. I want it to be good. I want to have orgasm after orgasm and I don’t want you to stop, not even if I ask. I trust you.”
He smiled. I could see it even in the darkness of the lamplight in the bedroom.
“Kiss me,” he commanded.
I leaned closer and pressed my lips to his. He deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me underneath him. When he was on top of me I put my legs around his body, cradling him there. I could feel the hard length of his cock against my thigh, but he wasn’t ready yet. He moved down my body, kissing my breasts and sucking my nipples into his mouth, in turn, sucking each of them into hard little peaks before he made his way down my stomach and kissed the top of my mound.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said as he used his fingers to spread my folds apart and flick his tongue against my skin. He didn’t spend much time teasing me, instead choosing to take my clit between his lips and suckle it like he had my nipples. I bucked my hips against his face as he pressed two fingers inside me, curling them upward to find just the right spot. I cried out and he flicked his tongue quickly around my clit. Waves of pleasure washed over me and I held him against my body, not wanting it to end.
Jake took a break, but only to let me recover before he began again. Finally, after he had brought me to climax twice more, he asked me if I was ready. I nodded and without any preamble, I felt his cock probe my entrance and slide inside, as if we were made to fit each other.
He thrusted deeply, each time harder than before. The sensation of him sliding against my walls was pure pleasure and I ached to hold him there and never let go. I knew I needed to enjoy this because I wasn’t sure when it would happen again. I had no idea what his plans were for me as a submissive, but I didn’t think it was regular, non-kinky sex for the next two months.
“Fuck me. Don’t stop, Jake,” I called out to him and he listened, quickening his pace. I could tell that he was close and I wrapped my legs tightly around him, urging him on. He grunted loudly as he came and fell into me, half breathless from exertion.
“God, that was good,” he said once he’d caught his breath. He held me close afterward and kissed my face, telling me how beautiful I was and how wonderful it all had been. It was a side of Jake Mesa I hadn’t been aware of. It was sweet and sensitive and, dare I say it…loving.
As he was drifting off to sleep, his arms still wrapped around me, he dreamily said, “I wish it could always be like this.”
I didn’t know what he meant. Well, I thought I knew what he meant, but I didn’t dare think that Jake Mesa was developing feelings for me.
It was back to sensory deprivation the next day. I think that Jake thought he had treated me just a little too much with the sex, so there were a few more days without. Then finally he began edging me. It was the cruelest, most delicious thing someone could do to a person. He went on for hours, learning what my limits were and pushing them further each time. All I wanted, the only thing I could focus on, was how to reach the orgasm I so desperately desired. But each time he reminded me and I had to answer.
“When do you get to come?”
“When you let me.”
It was agonizing, but in a way that made me want more and more of him. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Maybe I was becoming submissive. I certainly had no control over the situation, and yet I had some autonomy. As much autonomy as one can have when they’re tied to a bed.
Next, he introduced me to flogging. He showed me all of the floggers he had, all the whips and crops. He had quite a large collection in the room here at his house, far more than what I had seen in his office.
He massaged my ass gently before he tried the first one on me. It was a gentle smack, but it gradually increased in the way it smarted against my backside. I came to anticipate the hits and learned that it was all a part of the play. Though it wasn’t the most arousing thing I had ever experienced, I could see how it could become such a thing for a person. Either way, at the end of that I was wet and ready for him and he knew it. After diving in with his tongue, he bent me over further and slid inside me, pumping into me from behind.
This was a new angle and one I enjoyed very much. I found myself crying out for him with every thrust, his cock reaching deep and touching places that made me want to scream. He didn’t hold back when fucking me now, not like he had at first. I told him I wanted things harder and he listened, grabbing hold of my hips and thrusting into me so fast I had to hold on to the bench for dear life, lest we both go toppling over the side of it.
At his climax he remained inside me and pulled me back against his body, reaching around to cup my breasts and finger my clit.
I was starting to think I could get used to all of this.
Something changed the next day though. He said things were going to be a little different, that he was going to tie me up and gag me and leave me for a little while. The thought scared me and I wasn’t sure if it was something I would like or not.
He tied the rope with precision, binding me like I had seen some farmers hogtie cattle. Nothing about this was erotic to me and all I could think was how badly I wanted out. I would have voiced this if I hadn’t already been gagged.
I breathed through it, concentrating on the feelings I was experiencing. I didn’t hate it, it was simply something
Three weeks into the experience, he collared me.
“You’re mine now. Do you understand what that means?” He asked.
“It means I submit to you completely. I trust you to care for me and give me pleasure.”
“And while you wear this collar, unless we agree otherwise, I am the only person who is to touch you. I am the only person who is allowed to make you come. You are not allowed to do that for yourself unless I give you permission, understand?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding as he put the collar around my neck. It was a bit much for me. I still wasn’t certain about what I thought. Wearing a collar didn’t appeal to me, although I did love most everything he was doing to me. I wasn’t sure that I was truly a submissive. I was playing the part though and Jake seemed to be enjoying it.
Any dreams I had of ever being in control had drifted further and further away. Through watching him and seeing what it was he liked to do to me, while I didn’t think I was as extreme as he was, I was coming to realize that I was very dominant. I wasn’t sure if I could ever be in the life and as committed as Jake was to the role, but maybe, at another time, with another person.
The weeks went by faster after that. I wasn’t sure if it was because we had fallen into a routine or gotten used to each other. Either way, I continued to learn the sub life and I was learning to like it in some ways. I liked that it opened me up to Jake in a way I had never been open before. It allowed me to trust him with everything. There was freedom and safety in the midst of me letting go and giving everything over to him. There was something almost soothing about not having to have the power anymore. For someone like me who had fought her whole life to be independent, take care of herself, and find what she needed on her own, the whole experience with Jake had been an eye opener.
Still, after all the time had passed, I didn’t know what he had gotten out of it.
“He got your virginity, that’s what,” I said to my reflection in the mirror the morning I was due to leave.
That morning we had sex one last time. This time it was different. I was the one who was in control. He didn’t fight me over it and seemed to enjoy the fact that after all of that submitting, I still wanted him enough that I would take him given the opportunity.
I licked his cock from root to tip, teasing him with my tongue for several minutes before I moved up to slide down on top of him. Feeling him enter me from this angle was exquisite. I rocked back and forth, bringing his hand to my clit and letting him rub me as I fucked him slowly, looking into his eyes all the while.
I didn’t know what I saw in there. They were a brilliant green and I had grown to love seeing them every day. They were such a contrast against his skin and the black hair that he kept pulled back into a short ponytail.
Balancing myself on his hips, I rode harder until I felt him jerking underneath me. He pressed my clit and brought me to orgasm at the same time so that the walls of my cunt were squeezing and draining every last drop from him.
“I’m going to miss that,” he said as I fell against his chest and rested there. I couldn’t imagine anywhere else I would rather be, but I didn’t dare say it. Jake hadn’t said anything that suggested he had any feelings for me and I didn’t want to be the first to say something so important.
I went downstairs wearing clothes after packing and taking my shower. That alone was weird. I had spent the majority of my time here at Jake’s completely naked. It almost felt uncomfortable to have clothes on, but it was quite a bit less drafty.
Jake was downstairs with breakfast ready in the kitchen. We ate together in virtual silence. I had no idea what to say. A lot had happened in the time I had spent here at his home, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it all yet. I needed time on my own to think about it and come down from this very weird high.
Jake carried my bags into the living room and stood there with me as we waited for the driver to arrive.
“I hope you had a nice time here,” he said.
I nodded, “I did, thanks.”
He almost looked nervous, which wasn’t a look I was familiar with on Jake Mesa.
“I wish we had a little more time to do things…I mean, I meant to take you to Las Vegas so you could see the club out there. You might not have guessed it, but I’m a real party guy.” He winked and I smiled.
“I could see that.”
“I wanted to show you so many other things, but I thought you would get the most out of this experience if you were here, in one place, learning what the life is all about.”
It was difficult to know what to say to him in this moment. Thanks for taking my virginity? I hope I didn’t disappoint you? I knew well enough I hadn’t disappointed him, but I wasn’t sure what I had accomplished over the past two months…if I had accomplished anything.
“Would you be interested in seeing each other again, for coffee or something?” He asked.
“For coffee?”
“Or…whatever you like.”
I was baffled by this. I had spent the last two months naked with this man and now he was asking me if I wanted to go get coffee sometime like we had just met on the street and barely knew each other.
I shrugged. “I guess if you’re in the neighborhood or something.”
“Where is your neighborhood?
I dug one of the business cards for the garage out of my purse and handed it to him.
“I’m there more than I am at my apartment so that works. Or maybe I’ll see you sometime when I’m picking up Samantha from work.”
He nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
I sighed and shook my head. This exchange was one of the most awkward things I had ever experienced.
“Thank you again for what you did for my dad. I can’t adequately express what it means to me that you would have offered to help in the first place. If it hadn’t been for you and your money something awful might have happened to him. And I really do appreciate your kindness.”
Jake reached for my hand and it startled me, but he pulled me close and it wasn’t strange at all. In fact, it was the most natural thing about this entire conversation.
“I want you to know that anything you need, ever, you can ask me. I’ll always be around, whatever you need. Big, small…I don’t know—maybe you’ll need a booty call someday. I’m just a phone call away.”
I laughed at this. He did have a way of putting me at ease. “Thanks, Jake. Same goes for you, although…” I thought about all the girls back at the club, all the gorgeous women he had access to. It was doubtful that Jake would ever be calling me for a booty call. “Never mind.”
I looked out the window in time to see the car pulling up and the driver hopping out to retrieve my bags. I tiptoed to kiss Jake on the cheek, but he turned and pressed his lips into mine.
“It was nice knowing you, Jake.” I slipped out of his arms and out the door and didn’t look back.
Chapter 10
The first day back in my apartment was lonely. Samantha was working all day and I was alone. I could have gone in to work at the garage, but I didn’t feel like it. Dad had everything covered anyway and he had brought Rodrigo back on to help with things. They could handle one more day without me.
I went to my room and began unpacking my bags. There were a few things I had come home with that were new. Jake had sent me with the collar, although I knew I would have no use for it. That was something that was strictly between the two of us. I couldn’t imagine getting into a relationship with another man who wanted me to wear a collar.
I stopped myself short. A relationship? What was I talking about? What I had with Jake Mesa was definitely not a relationship. It was an arrangement, something two consenting adults had agreed upon. We weren’t together and as far as I could see into the future, we never would be. If Jake was going to pick a time to reveal that he had feelings for me, that time had passed.
It was clear that he wasn’t there, no matter what I thought about the time we had spent together. How a man couldn’t be ready for a relationship at his age, I wasn’t sure. But why was I even thinking about this? I didn’t want that with him, did I?
“Taylor Dawson, you’ve got to figure out your own feelings before you start worrying about everyone else’s,” I said out loud as I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I looked the same as I did before I went to stay with Jake, but I definitely didn’t feel the same. What had happened to me there? I felt slightly more open and free, sort of liberated. But at the same time, I felt vulnerable—like I was just waiting for something to come crashing down on me. It was a foreign feeling and something I was having a lot of trouble reconciling with the person I had known before the deal with Jake.
Maybe I needed to go ahead and get out of the house. Getting back to work would be good, but my car was parked at the garage, so I was going to have to walk the three miles there. Good. I didn’t mind and the exercise would be nice. My body had gotten used to burning a certain number of calories per day and I would need to keep that up.
The walk was slow but nice, and I tried to take in all the beauty along the way to the garage. It was a nice road that led to the place where I used to live, lots of trees and older homes. Dad had picked a great place to start his business and I hoped that I would be able to put some work into it and keep it alive for years to come.
When I arrived at the garage I was surprised to see Jake’s car there and him leaning against it, staring off into the distance.
“What are you doing here?” I called, startling him. He turned to see me and offered a smile.
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