by Cate Beauman
“People who think you could or would do such a thing are stupid.” She rested her head against Reagan’s shoulder. “I thought you should know.”
“Thank you for telling me.” She kissed the top of Jenny’s head.
“Let me take Faith.” Jenny took the baby, snuggling and smiling at her daughter, but not before Reagan caught the hint of worry in the teenager’s eyes.
Reagan straightened her shoulders with the last of her strength. “I don’t want you to worry about this for one second. I’m going to clear this up with Daisy first thing tomorrow. I want you to go have dinner.”
“What about you?”
She forced a smile as she struggled to keep herself together. “I’ll be out in just a couple of minutes. I believe we have a ghoul-packed night of fun ahead of us.” Watching movies and choking down beef stew and cookies was the last thing she wanted to do, but she would for the young woman sitting at her side.
“I told Shirley to remind everybody that you saved my life and Faith’s, and that you tried to save Henry too.”
“Thanks,” she said over the tight ball in her throat. Jenny’s unwavering support was her final undoing. “I’m going to wash up.” She stood and walked to her room, catching a whiff of Shane’s scent in the hall. Would it never go away? Locking her door, she curled her hands into her robe hanging on the back of the door as she pressed her face to the soft cotton, quietly giving in to her tears.
~~~~
Mable’s small hand guided the pink crayon over the piece of paper with sure strokes, then she dropped it to the table. “I don’t want to color anymore.”
Reagan smiled as she completed the Statue of Liberty’s torch. “How come?”
“Because I’m dying.”
Reagan’s eyes whipped up, watching Mable’s peaches-and-cream color fading. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked as she adjusted the bed, laying the little girl flat in preparation for resuscitation.
“I’m bleeding to death because you’re careless and didn’t pay attention. Now my mommy’s all alone.” She closed her eyes and flat-lined while Mrs. Totton screamed among the chaos of the crazy emergency room.
Reagan sat up, gasping in her bed, covered in a panicked sweat as Mable’s voice echoed in her head. Dizzy with grief and fear, she lay back against her pillow, waiting for the nausea to stop churning and her heart rate to settle.
When she’d headed off to bed after Jenny’s fright night, she’d expected a nightmare or two, but nothing as horrendous as the three she’d woken from in the last couple of hours. More rattled than she’d been in months, she lay still, listening to the sounds in the night. Her eyes darted to the door when she heard the creak down the hall then toward the window when the breeze rushed against the glass, every foreign sound sending her heart into another frenzy. Since Shane left, she had yet to sleep a full night. The stresses of her secret torments were starting to take their toll.
Rolling to her side, she plunked a pillow over her head and pressed the soft case over her ear, willing away the bad memories that wouldn’t let her rest. She sat up when Faith’s tiny, barking cough caught her attention. Frowning, she pulled back her covers and walked to the next room as Jenny moved toward Faith’s crib.
“She sounds awful.” Jenny picked her up. “And she’s hot.”
“Let me see.” She took the baby from Jenny, pressing her cheek to Faith’s as the baby fussed, wheezing in every breath. “She has croup. We’ll bring her into the bathroom and get it really steamy.”
They hurried into the bathroom, closing the door, and turned on the shower to hot.
Faith cried harder, each wail a horrid barky sound.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Reagan soothed, feeling the baby’s forehead again, noting her pink cheeks and ears in the dim glow of the nightlight. “She’s burning up. I’m going to have Chase go over to the clinic and get us some Tylenol.” She settled the baby in Jenny’s lap. “Keep her upright just like this and talk to her. Try and keep her calm.”
Swallowing, Jenny nodded. “Hurry back. I’m real scared.”
“She’s going to be fine.” She closed the door behind her and stifled a scream when she bumped into Chase standing topless in shorts in the dark. “God, you scared me.”
“Sorry. Is Faith all right?”
“She has croup and a fever. I need you to go over to the clinic and get me Tylenol Infant Drops from the cabinet.”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” She went back into the bathroom, walking into a plume of steam as Jenny sang and rocked the baby. “How’s she doing?”
“She still sounds bad.”
She listened to Faith’s pitiful cries and wheezing breaths. “Chase went to get us some fever reducer.” She shut off the shower. “We’re going to wrap Faith in a blanket and bring her outside. The steam and cold will help relax her airway.”
“What if they don’t?”
“Let’s take it one step at a time.”
They walked out to the living room, and Reagan grabbed a blanket from the couch, securing it around Jenny and Faith. “Let’s go sit on the swing.” She glanced out the door, staring into the shadows intensified by the light of the porch. “Come on.” Glancing around uneasily, her muscles relaxed when Chase started back their way, the beam of his flashlight bobbing with his steps.
He climbed the stairs, handing off the medicine. “I hope this is what you wanted.”
“Yes. Thank you.” She opened the box, took the syringe from the packaging, and dosed out the proper amount for Faith’s weight. “I don’t like giving meds to babies Faith’s age, but she’s pretty hot.” She squeezed the liquid down the inside of Faith’s cheek, the baby wheezing worse than when they’d started the steam treatment. “Jenny, I want you to go in and get Faith’s car seat. I think we should probably take Faith in to the emergency room.”
“Why?” She clutched Reagan’s arm. “You’re a doctor.”
“And I don’t have what I need here for croup. Get the seat, pack a quick bag with formula, bottles, diapers, and a couple changes of clothes, then we’re going to go.”
Jenny hurried inside with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Reagan rocked the baby, trying her best to keep her calm. “You’re okay, baby girl. You’re okay.” But with each struggling breath she silently urged Jenny to hurry.
Chase sat next to her on the swing. “Is she going to be all right?”
“She’s struggling. I need Jenny to stay calm, but the sooner we can get her into the ER the better.”
He nodded. “I’ll get the keys.”
“Thanks.”
Chase walked inside, and seconds later a twig snapped somewhere in the woods. She paused mid-rock, standing when Jenny and Chase reappeared. “Let’s go.” She settled Faith in the car seat, sitting in the back with the baby, eagerly watching each mile bring them further away from The Gap as Chase pushed the speed limit toward the nearest hospital.
Chapter Thirty
Shane lined up his shot and smacked the eight ball into the corner pocket, winning the game. “I believe that’s another free beer.” Grinning, he gave Amber a high five as Tyson and his date complained.
“You forgot to mention that you’re a fucking shark. The both of you,” Tyson accused.
“You never asked.” Shane chuckled when his coworker gave him the finger as he headed to the bar to order up another round of drinks.
“I’m going to the girls’ room,” Amber said, walking away in skin-tight jeans and a barely-there halter-top, showing off her spectacular body. He and Ethan’s former temp were pals, but after three and a half weeks of pure misery, he’d dabbled with the idea of changing their status from pool partners to friends with benefits. Amber had hinted more than once that she was game for a bout of casual sex, so why the hell wasn’t he interested?
He gave his cue a bad tempered toss to the edge of the table and did a double take when he spotted the slender woman with long brown hair moving toward the bar
. She turned, and he half expected to see Reagan. “Damn it.”
Rubbing at the back of his neck, he sighed, glancing around the familiar surroundings of one of his favorite hangouts. It was his first night out with friends since his return from Madrid over a week ago, and he didn’t even want to be here.
He’d been eager for good music and beer and the football games playing on the monitors by the bar, yet as he stood among the noise, he craved board games or watching some foolish movie full of teenage angst while he sat in a cabin with Jenny and Reagan in the middle of nowhere.
Over the last several weeks, he’d gone about his days and nights without some teen crisis to handle or frequent interruptions from a fussy baby in need of a bottle or diaper change. He hadn’t sat on the porch swing with the gorgeous doctor, breathing in the scent of her shampoo while the breeze blew and she fascinated him with all of the thoughts crowding that big brain of hers.
He still hadn’t heard a word from her since their non-goodbye at the airport. Nothing. For three days there hadn’t been any communication from Jenny either. No one-liner e-mails or three-page novels, which left him worrying that her desire to keep in touch was fading. He relied on her updates and looked forward to the pictures of Faith. She was his lifeline to the people he still wished he was with.
More than once he’d mentioned to Ethan he wanted his duty switched to head back to The Gap, but Ethan had told him about the director’s threats to pull the program altogether. They were in a wait-and-see holding pattern and it was driving him fucking crazy.
A laugh floated on the air, and he whipped his head around, looking for Reagan. “Son of a bitch.” He couldn’t take it anymore. “I’ll be right back,” he tossed over his shoulder as Tyson returned with drinks, making his way to a somewhat quiet corner of the bar. He searched his contacts for Reagan’s number, hesitated, and dialed.
Jamming his hand through his hair, he waited to hear the voice that was never far from his mind.
~~~~
Reagan rested her head against the hard wood of the hospital’s rocking chair as she moved her leg in a gentle rhythm. She glanced down at the baby finally asleep in her arms, closing her eyes herself, praying that Faith would sleep for more than the twenty-minute stretches she’d been averaging over the last three days since the Pediatrician admitted her for treatment and observation.
Seventy-two hours had passed in a whirlwind of worry and tests after Faith’s fever spiked to a dangerous one-hundred-four-point-three mere minutes after they arrived at the ER. All blood tests came back normal, and her fever was now low-grade, but the poor baby had been diagnosed with a double ear infection and a stubborn case of croup that refused to ease, offering the miserable baby and her exhausted mother little relief from Faith’s first bout with illness.
Reagan had done her best to soothe Jenny’s terror and Faith’s discomfort, but both had proved to be a challenge as her own energy and belief that everything was going to be okay waned. At some point they would leave St. Christopher’s Medical Center. The doctor assumed they would go home tomorrow if Faith had a good night, but Reagan’s problems wouldn’t be over. They would just be different and just as dreadful.
Luckily they had Chase. He’d been a lifesaver, bringing by fresh clothes and good food from the downtown restaurants, spending a couple hours mid-morning and afternoon with them at the hospital. The help was welcome, his kindness incredibly sweet, but Chase wasn’t Shane. For three days she’d yearned for Shane’s hugs and understanding and his knack for making her laugh. But he wasn’t here and wouldn’t be again, so she’d carried on, ignoring her longing for a man who had a life of his own thousands of miles away. He protected the rich and famous—a far cry from guarding a pill safe in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky.
The baby moved, and her eyes flew open. She rubbed Faith’s back, settling her against her chest for another bout of fitful sleep.
She yawned, and her phone rang. Cursing, she grabbed it before Faith or Jenny could stir. “Hello?”
Music and laughter filled the background. “Reagan, it’s Shane.”
She smiled, and her heart stuttered from the sound of his voice. “Shane.”
“I haven’t heard from Jenny for a few days, so I thought I would check in and see how things are going.”
She glanced toward the teenager dead asleep on the couch close to the crib, then at the wheezing baby resting in her arms. “They’re great. We’re doing really well. How about you?”
“I’m good.” There was a small commotion, and Shane chuckled. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Tonight’s my first night off since the concert tour. Me and a couple of buddy’s decided to head out for a beer.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“It’s not bad. This last week I was out on a movie set in the middle of the desert, so a Sam on draught tastes pretty damn good.”
Talking to him, hearing his contentment was worse than missing him every day. “I should let you get back to it.”
“Hold up. How are the girls?”
She kissed the top of Faith’s head. “Busy. Growing. We’re starting to look into nursing schools for Jenny.”
“Yeah, I heard about that. When I talked to Chase…last week? No, I guess it was the week before, he told me about your court date coming up. Jenny sounds pretty excited.”
Reagan frowned. She knew Jenny and Shane communicated, but not Shane and Chase. As she listened to the noisy background of Shane’s surroundings, she’d never been surer that keeping the issues she’d been plagued with in The Gap to herself was the right choice. He was happy in California, but he was too good of a man not to come running back to try and help. Shane didn’t belong to them anymore. “She is. I’m sure she’ll let you know when everything’s decided.”
“I’ll be waiting. So, how are you?”
“Great,” she continued with her deception. “I’m really good—happy. I haven’t felt this settled in a long time.”
Seconds passed in silence. “That’s good.” He cleared his throat. “Well, make sure you tell Jenny to e-mail me. She’s missed a couple of days.”
“I’ll let her know you’ve been wanting to hear from her.”
“You too. I thought I might hear from you sometimes as well.”
She closed her eyes. He couldn’t possibly know how much she yearned to reach out to him. She swallowed, fighting to clear any emotion from her voice. “I’ve been pretty busy.”
“I guess if you have to be in The Gap you might as well be busy.”
“Yeah.”
There was another long pause. “I miss this—talking to you. I miss sitting with you on the swing.”
Her lips trembled, the dam about to burst, his words weakening her resolve. She couldn’t do this anymore. Perhaps it was completely selfish, but she needed to share her burdens and hear him tell her everything was going to be okay. “Shane, things here in The Gap—I need—”
“Shane, come on,” a female voice interrupted. “I’m waiting for my partner over here.”
“Just a second,” he murmured. “Sorry. What were you saying? I missed the last part.”
I need you. She shook her head. “I—I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you’re settling back into your life.”
“Thanks. I’m hanging in here.”
“That’s wonderful.” She snuggled Faith closer, taking comfort as she gave it. “I’ll let you go.”
“Give Faith and Jenny a kiss for me.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Bye.”
She hung up, breathing in several shaky breaths, as a tear coursed down her cheek. Why did he have to call? Why did he have to stir up her emotions when she’d been struggling so hard to put them behind her? He’d moved on. His happiness was undeniable, as was the fact that his beer with “buddies” was actually a date.
Setting down her phone, she closed her eyes, settling more truly against the seat, willing the sound of his voice from her mind until Faith woke her again ten minu
tes later.
~~~~
Shane walked Amber to her door just before midnight, surrounded by the scent of her perfume.
“Thanks for the fun.” Smiling, she put her key in the lock.
“You’re welcome.”
“We’ll have to do this again.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Definitely.”
“Do you want to come in?”
He trailed his gaze down her excellent figure, knowing what she was offering and shook his head. “I have an early morning.”
“Maybe next time.”
“Yeah.” He sent her a small smile. “I should probably—”
Amber cut him off as she stood on her tiptoes, touching her lips to his.
His hands flew to her arms, gripping her biceps, intending to pull back. I’m really good—happy. I haven’t felt this settled in a long time. Reagan’s words played through his mind, fanning the flames of hurt and anger. He cupped Amber’s face and deepened the kiss, desperate to forget about Reagan. Doc’s heart sure as hell wasn’t breaking over him. Her mind wasn’t constantly bogged down by thoughts of him.
Yet as he slid his tongue along Amber’s, he felt nothing—no urgent need to dive any deeper and savor her taste. Determined to feel something, he wrapped his arms around her, waiting for the rush of desire that consumed him whenever he held Reagan close. When that didn’t happen either, he brushed his fingers through her hair, but her shampoo didn’t smell like Doc’s. She didn’t moan quietly the way Reagan did when he knew she had finally surrendered. Nothing about Amber was like the woman he couldn’t stop wanting.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” she murmured against his lips.
He stepped back, staring into her pretty brown eyes—not blue. “I need to go.”
“How about a date? Just you and me at someplace other than Smitty’s?”
He shook his head. “I’m on duty for the next few days.”
