by Leanne Davis
How did the smooth-talking bastard do it? Lloyd could somehow spin such a terrible habit he had into something not so bad and even manage to work in a few compliments for her. Maybe they were talking until two in the morning. Maybe not. But Chris witnessed them exiting the bar and that was hours ago. He also saw them going into an elevator. His stomach tightened at the nasty images flashing in his brain. Stop. No. No good could come from picturing what might have happened.
“Whatever. It has nothing to do with you. I guess I needed to know what others thought of me and I intend to work harder to change that perception. But whatever I do with my body and my time, outside of work, is my damn business. At work, I will remain as professional as I always am.”
“Unlike me. I regret saying what I did to you. I’m sorry, Julia.”
She glared at him, her eyes glinting in the overhead light. She sighed. “Well, I guess you earned some brownie points tonight for literally coming after me. I don’t get it though.”
He shuffled his feet, which were still in his work boots. His super-sized worn boots seemed so ridiculous next to her soft, small feet. He was no more than a gigantic lout. Not just in physical appearance, but also in his behavior. No wonder she showed no interest in him. It was all directed at Lloyd. Why shouldn’t she? He was educated, polished, well-spoken, highly regarded for his skill in financial procurement and he owned his own corporation. Julia witnessed his leadership, and the fine impression he made on the people he associated with. Chris internally laughed at himself. What could have possessed him to even think of coming there to plead his case to her just to get her to like him? She didn’t want him. Ha.
There was a knock at the door and she jumped while Chris turned with surprise towards it. Rushing forward, she glimpsed through the peephole. “Shit. It’s Lloyd.” She glanced around as if in abject panic. In desperation, she jerked her head toward the bathroom. “Hide in there. It’ll be too odd to explain why you’re here.” She shook her head. “I still can’t believe you are.”
He gaped at her. Hide? Like a common criminal? Or… or a pervert or something? Why? So what if he was there? It was their business just as much as the damn relationship between Lloyd and her. Business or otherwise, it was theirs. He stepped into the bathroom as she requested, however, and she slammed the door behind him. “Be very quiet,” she hissed. He turned and stared in the mirror before perching on the tub lip. Unfortunately, he could hear them as clear as day.
“What are you doing here?” Julia asked, her tone sounding rather annoyed. He grinned. Good. Put the old, slimy bastard in his place.
“Just checking on you. Making sure, you know, things stay okay. Between us.”
“Yeah. Just as long as you can separate the personal from what is not. No lines will be crossed, or get blurry, and then I’m fine. I can separate the two. Can you?”
“I can separate them too, no problem. I’ve never had anyone speak so articulately. I meant it when I told you, no one can do the job like you have. I’d hate to lose you for any reason. And yet it feels like years since any employee has drawn me so inexplicably as you have.”
“This is exactly what I don’t want you to say to me.”
“I get that. I quickly learned that. Julia, this is very different than—”
Chris plugged his ears. There was no other response he could do. He could not listen to another word. He hated Lloyd’s tone of voice. Because fuck. Even Chris was ready to believe him. Lloyd had become… decent. He noticed and understood the same things that Chris did about Julia. He sounded so sincere and real and convincing. He might have even meant his own bullshit because Julia was different. Maybe even Lloyd, that vapid ass, saw and felt it. Chris’s heart ached at realizing she decided to give him a chance. She was willing to surrender to him. Despite how she started and what he was after. Sounded like she did confront him though. Bully for her. Chris told her the truth and in the process, he might have inadvertently pushed her even closer to Lloyd. By confronting Lloyd, it sounded as if they got real honest with each other, real fast. Perhaps they got to a place they had never been before that conversation. The same place Chris thought they were. Unfortunately, it seemed he was the very catalyst to make it happen. He leaned forward, resting his head between his knees, sickened at the thought of it.
“Chris! What are you doing in there? Open up.”
He heard a loud knock and popped his fingers from his ears. They must have finished. He got onto his feet, feeling old, unhurried, and pretty down over the latest developments.
Opening the door, he found Julia frowning up at him. “I called you at least six times. What were you doing?”
“Plugging my ears.”
“Oh.” She frowned and turned her face away. “Do what you want with what you think is happening. Tell whomever you want. I know what this is. I’m not a dumb idiot being used by Lloyd. I’m well aware of his many faults and his womanizing history and I could see how he tried to use it on me.”
And yet, here she was. But Chris pressed his lips together to avoid saying the obvious. What needed saying and begged to be said. But… NO! He’d already hurt her the first time he crossed that line. If he did it again, he’d lose their delicate thread of friendship and that was all he had left to save. But he knew it was worth saving.
“I should let you get some sleep.”
“You should.”
Hollow and feeling empty, all hope of receiving her forgiveness vanished in a poof. Did she have sex with Lloyd? Even worse, it sounded like they were starting a damn relationship, when he’d never before known Lloyd could have a relationship.
Thirty years ago, when Lloyd first seduced his mother as well as the dozens of women since, Lloyd never meant it. He had to be running a con game, a smooth play, another version of his manipulation. He was acting sincere, contrite, and caught in the act, but he still expected to get what he wanted. Julia caught onto his act and he managed to spin it around to prove she was like no other woman, and perhaps convince her she had changed him. His stomach soured.
What a brilliant way to get what he wanted. For a sociopath.
He hated Lloyd. He should have quit. He really should have. He fisted his hands. But released them.
He wouldn’t quit. Not yet. He couldn’t know where it would lead with Julia. Or not. Maybe he should tell Lloyd his true identity. Possibly pursue something more with the man. Forget Julia altogether. Keep Julia as his friend forever then.
But somehow, Chris knew he wouldn’t do either. Not yet.
He nodded as he stepped around her to leave. She flipped over as if she were tracking him. “That’s it? You have nothing more to say?”
“No. You deserve an apology from me and you have it. I’m sorry. You also deserve to know you are very much valued by me and many others as a coworker. That is what you deserve and I took it away from you. So I hope when you come back you’ll be fine to work with me again.”
“Don’t you have any comments about Lloyd? And my being here? After all, you had a lot to say about it before.”
“No. Julia, I shouldn’t have said anything. I won’t ever again.”
Her eyebrows rose and lowered in obvious confusion. “Are we… still friends then?”
His heart lifted. “Were we before? Friends, I mean?”
“Well, yes. At least, I thought so. Didn’t you?”
He nodded, sighing with relief, joy and a bitter dose of regret. He’d been relegated to the friend zone by her. Perhaps it would stay that way for a while until after the older, predatory man used up his wealth, position and prestige to seduce her and capture her undivided attention. Her interest. Her heart’s desire.
Did nice guys always finish last? Bitterly, he wondered if this would be any different. He didn’t believe she realized that he was a nice guy. His looks threw more than a few people off and suggested a quite different impression.
They were friends.
He’d far rather hold onto that than what he had before he got there.
He didn’t want her to dislike or disrespect him. Nodding, he smiled. “I did. And I do. I thought I ruined that.”
“And you came here to fix it?”
“I sure did.”
He turned to go, and stopped when she said one last time, “Chris?”
Hesitating, he glanced back at her and she approached him. The hallway was unearthly quiet. Like a church after hours or an empty library. He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Are you sure that’s all you came for? Just to apologize?”
His heart sped up, and his breathing suspended. No. No, he also came to tell her he cared about her. He wanted to date her. But mostly, he didn’t want her to date anyone else. Specifically, Lloyd. And he wanted her to know the real reason why he didn’t want her to sleep with Lloyd Cartwright. But it was too late now.
Gruffly, he muttered, “Yeah, that’s all I came for.”
Her gaze was riveted on his. He cleared his throat.
“You’re sure? Nothing more?”
“Nothing more,” he echoed, but it was false and unconvincing. He didn’t wait for her answer but walked off. He had to be at the site tomorrow and by the time he drove home, he would not even have enough time for a catnap. It would be a long day. At least his numbed brain could zone out, and maybe his heart wouldn’t shatter from the bitter disappointment and pain.
His father’s girlfriend would return soon and he had to be better. At least he had to appear like he was coping with it. Gotten over it. Sure, no problem, easy enough. Don’t fall in… maybe not love… but like and lust, with your father’s girlfriend. Seemed so obvious. It felt, however, like a dagger was being twisted inside his heart each and every time that thought flashed through his brain.
Chapter Nine
THE DENTIST GROUP THEY were meeting with knew nothing about construction but would hopefully soon become their newest clients. It had been a long afternoon with them. Julia worked and listened to their discussions, even during the dinner they all had together. She and Lloyd met in his hotel room, comparing notes on the specific items the dentists had requested. They had to find affordable ways to make the project work. So far, it was strictly business. Julia was clear that if anything went wrong, and a stray hand so much as slid towards her knee, she’d be done with Lloyd. He’d be the prime defendant in a sexual harassment suit that she would file so quickly, his gray hairs would fall out. While she doubted him still, her intent now was to stay on and keep working at Cartwright. She had already learned a lot from the man.
She was burning up in shame and rage after Chris’s shocking and unprecedented attack.
She never expected Chris to show up, yet there he was, huge and muscle-bound, resting his bulk against her hotel room door. His apology was sincere and heartfelt, and she’d had enough time to know Chris that she believed him. She even felt some forgiveness towards him. There was truth in what he said. He knew the reason behind her hiring, something she failed to grasp. Not to the calculated degree that Chris so aptly described it. Yeah, she could see why some of the others seemed so wary of her and even downright hostile. Now she understood. Truly.
But for Chris to show up from out of town? In the middle of the night? Waiting for her?
She didn’t know what to think. He was acting odd once he came out of the bathroom. She didn't know, or perhaps, she didn’t care what he thought about what she was doing with Lloyd. It was none of his damn business. And even if her reputation was at the bottom of the barrel to start, she managed to elevate it in the short time she’d been working there. She intended to continue to raise it, based on the excellent work she did. Not from hearsay or because of her personal life. She refused to deny that she fucked her boss to Chris, whether it were now or before. She did not want that to be the reason for Chris to feel relieved or comfortable with her. Or respect her. Screw that. He should have respected her regardless of whether or not it was true. So she left things as they were. Gossip might run wild again, but perhaps it already had.
Chris should not have judged her so harshly. He had worked with her long and closely enough to see she was doing her job, and had become a legitimate employee with higher than average results in the short time she’d spent there. He should have realized she was much more than an ornament for Lloyd’s arm. And he also should have known that he didn’t hurt her more than anyone else did in accusing her of bringing Lloyd’s original intent to her attention.
Perhaps she should have clarified what was going on. She didn’t know why she hadn’t. But he hurt her feelings so bad that morning and she was glad to know he was sorry, truly sorry. He drove half the night to apologize to her. Most people would not have done so. Putting everything else aside, he came to tell her he was wrong and sorry. There was nothing more he could do. Naturally, she forgave him, but he also changed something irrevocably between them. She didn’t believe him anymore, not like she used to. She didn’t trust him anymore. Hell, she just didn’t like him as much either.
She kept questioning his motives, pressing him, trying to make him say more than, I’m sorry. What did she think he’d say? They had never discussed anything more between them. Not even friendship. But she thought perhaps there could be something more. What it was, however, she wasn’t sure how to define. She wasn’t ready to leave the friendship line with Chris. She still couldn’t imagine them having sex, but neither was she sure she wanted him there only to apologize.
As she flopped on the bed, her disappointment was painful.
****
Chris felt the dynamic shift in Julia. She walked back onto his site two days later, and smiled politely as she discussed the matters with both good manners and courtesy. She was pleasant. Nice. Serene. She was also cool, remote, and removed. The previous warmth that used to exist had simply evaporated like morning dew in the hot sun. They were coworkers. Strictly. The warm working relationship was over. Another day, she and Lloyd came to the job site. Chris watched them inconspicuously. Each move and each interaction were studied by him. Did Lloyd touch her hand? Was he gently placing his pinkie beside hers? Were they resting their hands on the table surface at the same moment accidentally or was it a form of subtle foreplay?
When both of their hands were under the table, did that mean something?
But Chris couldn’t determine anything for sure. Except for a distinct shift in how Julia interacted with him, there was nothing to report. He tried to make up for his mistake. He even tried to bring it up a few more times but she always waved her hand around dismissively, like it didn’t matter. She changed the subject most times too, cutting him off and forcing him to accept her decision that she no longer wanted to discuss it. If he pressed her more, he’d feel like he was strong-arming her, the very thing he longed to make right. So he stopped.
One evening she even stayed after to figure out what they were working on the following week and how it correlated to the plans. “Can you show me how this electrical tie-in works?”
“Of course. Sure. Here. Let me show you.” He had to bite his tongue to shut himself him up. He sounded like a blubbering boy in puberty being honored by attention from the prom queen and about to come in his pants in stupid eagerness.
She had sat beside him. Nothing touching him. She was careful to keep her arms and hands away from his. He showed her the information long into the evening. “You want me to call for a pizza?”
“No. I don’t want to eat pizza with you.” Blunt. Final. Not a look at him, or even pause to consider.
He blushed. Clear up to his hairline, chagrinned. “Of course. Let’s just finish.”
On the way home that evening to his generic, sad one bedroom apartment, he stopped for a pizza and nursed several bottles of beer long into the night, with only Simba for company. He was sitting on Chris’s lap, purring away as Chris rubbed the cat’s neck and chin. “I really screwed this up,” he muttered softly. Simba’s only reply was to purr louder, half-shutting his eyes.
****
As for her relationship with
Lloyd, after their business trip, she suddenly had the upper hand with him. She had all the power in their relationship. He was so contrite, embarrassed and sorry, she almost believed him. He started regularly asking her permission before he stepped into her office and ever-so-politely requested her presence in his. He never stood too close to her or pushed personal boundaries. He held the doors open for her but was always careful not to touch her. He also spent a lot of extra time, far more than before their trip, showing her how to do her job. He spent hours explaining how to read plans to her. He encouraged her to practice reading them and gave her small exercises to do out on job sites. He asked her to find the things she saw in the plans and compare them to what she saw on the sites. She quickly increased her building and construction vocabulary as well as her abilities. All the things she was learning about construction seemed to be compounded daily. Chris taught her in the beginning but now, it was both Lloyd and Chris tutoring her.
She was different when she worked with Chris now too. There was no more warmth or sense of friendship. No teasing either. She professionally fulfilled her job description and that was all she did with him. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Quite often, she and Lloyd worked late together. A few times, they ordered food if it got too late. It was all part of the process of learning what he did. Julia followed along as Lloyd explained what he was doing and the reasons behind his choices and actions.
She knew he had three unsuccessful marriages. He drove a ridiculously clichéd, cherry red sports car for pleasure and a decked-out SUV to work. The designer clothing he dressed in suited him well. His charm oozed from every pore. She knew that, and often criticized him for it. But every once in a while, she could not restrain a small smile in response. She was not exactly giving Lloyd her approval but she also didn’t always negatively respond to it.
