by Harley Stone
The biker didn’t seem to realize we were on the same page and giving up wasn’t an option. He gave my shoulders a little shake. “Promise me you won’t quit.” His eyes were glassy with unshed tears. I had demons, but this guy… he had the whole devil.
“Okay.”
“I’m not playin’ with you. Say the words.”
Now that he was staring at me, he was so damn intense I could barely stand to hold his gaze. For the first time since my grandma’s death, it felt like someone actually cared about me. Like someone was in my corner, cheering me on. His emotions rolled off him in waves that kept threatening to take me under. It was too much, his passion and concern too fierce. I needed to do what he wanted so I could put some distance between us so I could fucking breathe. “I won’t give up,” I promised.
His gaze took in my features once more as pain filled his eyes. Swearing beneath his breath, he released me. His hands fell to his sides and he straightened. “Thank you.”
I immediately missed the heat of his hands and his solid, comforting chest, but I had to get away from him. I opened my door and fled inside, locking up behind me. I crawled into bed and patted the spot by my feet. I didn’t know if Boots was allowed on the furniture, but I didn’t care. My head was spinning, and I needed the kind of comfort a soft, warm fur baby could give.
I couldn’t figure out the biker. My situation seemed personal to him, and I had no idea why. Regardless, I had no intention of giving up.
Boots settled in beside me and I scratched him behind the ears, closed my eyes, and tried not to think about the confusing biker with intense gray eyes. I had no idea he was about to become my best friend and my biggest challenge.
1
Bull
IT WAS THURSDAY afternoon. The Copper Penny Bar and Grill was currently a quiet watering hole for the club with low music and a laidback atmosphere where patrons could grab a decent burger and watch a game or chat with the spattering of bikers seated at the bar. In a few hours, that would all change. The booths, tables, and bar would fill up, and Flint, the manager, would crank up the music, making conversation all but impossible. Bikers and bar goers alike would toss back drinks and do their damnedest to demote shitty workdays into bad memories as security beefed up to keep everyone safe and secure. Sometimes I stuck around for the late crowd, but I always made sure my guest was home safe, first.
Lily was a friend who’d been through more than enough already, and I didn’t fuck around with her safety.
Collecting the two bottles of Blue Moon I’d ordered, I thanked Flint and headed for the corner booth where she waited for me. As I moved, the booth’s low light bounced off the wall and bathed her in a golden aura, giving her beauty an ethereal glow.
And she was beautiful. So damn beautiful, it hurt to look at her.
Yet, I couldn’t seem to look away.
The first time I saw Lily, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. She marched down the walkway, heading for Emily’s car, looking like my best dream and worst nightmare all wrapped into one spirit-filled five-foot-nothing girl. I hadn’t even lasted an hour before I found myself in front of her door under the guise of playing guard duty, but she was safe in the club. My motivation was all about getting another glimpse to assure myself that what I’d seen was real.
It was. Fuck my life, she was very goddamn real.
Years had passed since that first meeting, and being around her was still a sadistic kind of torture that I couldn’t refuse, even if I wanted to.
“Hey, brother,” Zombie said. He was heading toward the bar, but he stopped and followed my gaze. Waving at the booth and beaming its occupant a big smile, he altered his course and swooped in to give her a hug. “Hey, Lily. How are you?”
Over the two and a half years since Morse and Tap had tracked her down to testify for Havoc, Lily had become the club’s little sister. Nobody fucked with her, and any one of us would take a bullet for the girl. Especially after how she’d risked her life going up against Seattle’s mayor so Havoc could walk free.
“Livin’ the dream,” Lily replied with a smile. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. Just got off work and thought I’d stop by for a drink or six. How’s school? You ready to come out and rewire my mom’s place yet?”
Inspired by the work Stocks and Monica had been doing around the shelter she called home, Lily had enrolled in classes to become an electrician. She’d been at it for a few months now, and kept surprising us all by the amount of shit she’d learned. Last week, I’d helped her put up a fan in her room. Really, I’d held the base as she cut back frayed wiring and capped the ends of it before mounting a brace and a box. I was worried she’d shock the shit out of herself, but it turned out she knew what she was doing. And her proud smile as she jumped down from the ladder had made me glad I didn’t voice my concerns and make her think I didn’t believe in her.
“Almost,” Lily replied. “We test next week, and then I start my out-of-classroom apprenticeship.”
“No shit? Which lucky company picked you up?”
“Puget Sound Electric.”
“Atta girl. You’ll be rollin’ in that fat electrician money soon.”
Lily grinned at me. Her smile could light up the entire goddamn bar, which was how she’d earned her nickname. Life had shit all over the girl, but she didn’t let it dull her shine. Pretending the sight of her didn’t squeeze the air out of my chest and make all the blood flow straight to my cock, I handed her a bottle.
“Yep. Then I’m gonna be Bull’s sugar mama.” Her eyes sparkled when she looked at me.
“Easy there, firefly.” I tipped my beer toward Lily. “I’m a strong, independent man. I don’t need no sugar mama. Keep your money.”
Zombie barked out a laugh and clapped me on the back. “Well, damn. If it doesn’t work with this boring old killjoy, look me up. I’m sure as hell not too proud to let you pay my bills.”
Lily always flirted with me, but since nothing could ever happen between us, I did my damnedest to shoot her advances down, even though it almost killed me every fucking time. I knew Zombie was only humoring her, but I still wanted to knock out his teeth. Ignoring him, I faced off with Lily. “Or, you can save your money and buy yourself a dependable car. You’re gonna need one to get back and forth to work.”
Clearly picking up on my vibe, Zombie took a step back. “It’s gettin’ too responsible for me around here. You kids have fun. I’m off to shoot the shit with Frog.”
Frog waved at us from the bar.
As I settled into my seat, Lily rolled her eyes at me. “Firefly? I told you, I’m not a bug, Bull.” Her words resisted the nickname, even as the slight upturn in her lips told a different story. She didn’t mind. Not really.
Sliding onto the bench across from her, I took a drink and bought myself some time to check her out. Lily was always gorgeous, but today, she’d put extra effort into her appearance. Her long brown hair seemed shinier. Loose curls drifted over her shoulders ending just shy of her perfect tits. The dark makeup around her hazel eyes made them seem bigger and brighter, and she’d painted her lips in a shade of red that had me envisioning what they’d look like wrapped around my cock. Her off-the-shoulder sweater showed off enough skin to make me hungry for more.
She was temptation and sin, wrapped into a flirty, fun-sized package.
She took a pull from her bottle, and I discretely adjusted myself under the table.
Playing with her bottle, stroking and running her finger down the label, she said, “Thanks for the beer. I’ll get next round.”
I nodded noncommittally as her active little fingers held my attention. They looked so soft and delicate, but they were deceptively strong. Just like Lily. She’d try to get the next round, but I already had the tab set up, and even if I hadn’t, Flint sure as hell wouldn’t charge her card. The entire club was proud of her for going to school and trying to better her situation, and we’d do everything in our power to help her succeed. After all s
he’d been through, she deserved the moon and the stars.
And she was looking at me like I had the ability to pluck them from the sky and hand them to her.
Fuck. Her eyes really did look huge today. How the hell was I supposed to resist her when she kept eyeballing me like that?
“Is something different about your eyes?” I asked.
A smile played on her lips as she leaned forward and blinked slowly. Had her eyelashes always been that long and full? God, she was hot. Being so close to her, with only the table between us, suddenly felt a lot like playing with fire. “No. What makes you think that?”
She was lying, because there was definitely something different. Her big hazel eyes looked softer, more inviting. Whatever makeup witchcraft she’d managed was sexy as fuck. I usually had a hard time looking away from her, but now, the sight of her imprisoned me. I couldn’t look away. Hell, I couldn’t even remember why I should. Her knees brushed mine, and even through our clothes, the contact sent a jolt of electricity through my veins. Every damn blood cell in my body went straight for my cock.
“Sorry,” she said, her smile turning shy as she dropped her gaze.
“Don’t…” I coughed to clear my throat. “Don’t worry about it.”
Her knee brushed mine again and she laughed. This time, it didn’t feel like an accident. Her hand landed on my knee. She rubbed, gently. Every stroke felt sexual, and my entire body reacted. Lily had played games like this in the past, but usually I could resist her long enough to make my escape so I could jack off in the safety of my room. Today was different.
I wanted her.
Hell, I couldn’t even remember why I hadn’t carried her up to my bed and given her what she wanted.
Her hand squeezed my thigh, and I about jumped out of my seat to escape. Angling my legs to press against my bench and save them from her touch, I took a deep breath and tried to get myself under control.
“What’s wrong, Bull?” she asked, her eyes full of mischief.
I tilted my head to the side and gave her a hard look. “You know damn well what’s wrong. Stop that.”
“Stop what?” She rested her head on her hands, the very picture of innocence.
I didn’t buy it for a second. Desperate for a distraction, I sucked down another drink and tried to figure out why she’d amped up the game to full blast. Lily hadn’t hit on me in months, and I’d been hoping she’d finally accepted the lie that I wasn’t attracted to her. She’d invited me out to drink as friends, and I hadn’t thought anything of it. We did shit like this all the time. My guard was down, and I wasn’t expecting the little vixen to hit me with everything she had.
If the booth was a boxing ring, I’d be lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering what the hell had just happened. I’d tap out if I thought it was wise, but the smile she flashed me held no mercy. This girl would be the death of me.
The room was too damn hot. Had she somehow fucked with the heater, too? No. It was her sweater. Why was it hanging off her shoulder like that? I could see too much of her soft, silky skin. She needed to straighten her damn clothes and wear them the right way.
Fuck!
My cock had grown so goddamn hard it was painful. I adjusted myself again and rubbed at the back of my neck. My hand came away damp with sweat. “It’s warm in here today.”
She grabbed at the laminated menu and started fanning herself. “Yeah, it is.” Tendrils of her hair flew outward, framing her face. Little beads of perspiration formed on her neck and exposed chest and shoulder, making her skin glisten. I had the craziest desire to lean across the table and lick her clean. Hell, I could almost envision myself doing it. But then my gaze drifted back up to her face, and I reminded myself of all the reasons why that would be wrong.
This was Lily.
She was so far off limits she might as well be in a foreign country. And I lacked a passport and was on a no-fly list. There was no reality in which I’d allow myself to get into her pants.
Lily picked up her beer and put it to her lips. Her pink tongue darted out and licked a drop of pale liquid from the neck, and I about creamed my boxers. She was fucking with me. I knew she was fucking with me, but I couldn’t look away. She had my full attention, and she damn well knew it. Her lips wrapped around the bottle and she met my gaze as she drained it. She tugged the bottle from her lips with a pop, and a sexy little moan escaped from the back of her throat.
I was seconds from snatching her out of the booth and dragging her next door to my room. I had to resist.
“Stop that,” I said. My voice sounded so low and rough I barely recognized it. I took a sip and tried to calm the fuck down.
“Stop what?” She licked the mouth of the bottle. “This?”
“Yes. Please. For the love of God, stop that.”
“Why?” Flattening her tongue against the neck of the bottle, she licked upward to the top, maintaining eye contact with me. “You could always give me something else to lick.”
My cock wanted to take her up on that offer so desperately it throbbed, begging. “You know that’s never gonna happen.” I refused to go there with Lily. No matter how much I wanted her, it could never happen.
She leveled a stare at me. “Why not?”
I shrugged and looked away, trying to come up with a reason she’d accept.
“I want to be with you, Bull, and I know you want me. I can see it in your eyes. I’ve given you time. I’ve tried to be patient. Why are you fighting this so hard?”
The determination in her eyes had me second guessing my motives, but I had to stay strong. Nothing good could come from us hooking up. Lily was a lifer, not a temporary fix, and I couldn’t promise her forever. Shit was too complicated for that, and I couldn’t explain why. But I needed to give her some sort of reason.
“You’re like a little sister to me,” I blurted out.
“Liar.”
“You are. You’re like a little sister to all of us. I don’t wanna fuck that up.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, come on. That is some horse shit. A sister? Is that your final answer?”
Sitting up straighter, I dug my heels in. I needed to sell this lie. I needed her to believe it so she would give up on me. I couldn’t give her what she needed, and I didn’t want her wasting her life waiting for me. “Yes. I can’t see you as anything more. I’m sorry.”
She stared at me.
I stared right back, refusing to show even the slightest flicker of how I truly felt.
Anger and pain flooded her eyes and hardened her features. “A sister? That’s what you’re going with? For real?”
I nodded.
“Great. Fuckin’ unreal.” She released her bottle and it fell on its side, rolling across the table. Grabbing her raincoat from the seat beside her, she stood. “I can’t believe you. You are so full of shit. You might be able to lie to yourself, but I know the truth. Why do you keep pushing me away?”
I dropped my gaze.
“You know what? I’m not interested in your lies, or your friendship, or being your sister. You know what else?” Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. One leaked down her cheek and she angrily wiped it away. “Forget it. I’m… I’m outta here.”
Turning her back on me, she marched toward the door.
I’d finally pushed her away for good, and I felt like shit for it. I should have let her go, but I couldn’t. Not like this. Scrambling out of the booth, I hurried to catch her. “Lily, wait. I’ll give you a ride.”
“No.” She halted her steps and poked a finger in my chest. “No way. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
I could feel the stares of everyone in the bar on us. Holding up my hands in surrender, I lowered my voice. “I don’t want you to walk alone.” I didn’t care if it was broad daylight, there were still creeps on the street, and I wasn’t willing to risk her.
“You don’t want?” She swiped at another tear. “Oh, by all means, let me move heaven and hell for what the mighty Bull
wants. That’s what we always do, right? Whatever you want. Do you even give a single fuck about what I want?”
“Lily, I—”
She held up a hand, silencing me. “No. I’m done listening to you.” She surveyed the patrons at the bar. “Can anyone else give me a ride home?”
Nobody spoke.
“Lily, I—”
Her shoulders dropped. “Please?”
Carly, one of the bartenders, appeared to be coming onto shift. She glanced at Flint and he nodded. “I’ll take you, Lily.”
More tears rolled down her cheeks. Each one felt like a knife to my chest. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Come on.” Glaring at me, Carly draped an arm over Lily’s shoulder and steered her toward the door.
I watched them go, knowing I’d screwed up big time, but I didn’t have a clue as to what I should have done differently. I couldn’t be with Lily, and it was high time she accepted my limitations on our friendship.
2
Lily
IT WAS RAINING out, and my boots were muddy, so I bypassed the front door and went around to the side entrance of the shelter. Using my individual code on the recently installed electronic lock, I let myself in.
“Hello?” Monica called from the next room. A friend who’d appointed herself as my adoptive mom when she and her biker husband, Stocks, had taken over management of the shelter, Monica was the most amazing woman I’d ever met. She’d lost an arm while home on leave from the Air Force, ending her career, but she didn’t let that slow her down one bit. She’d just altered her dreams, found the man of her life, and made life her bitch despite her disability. I wanted to be just like her someday.
“Hey.” I kicked off my rubber boots and removed my raincoat. A row of crowded hooks lined the right side of the mudroom wall, and I found the least full one and hung my coat up to dry. “It’s just me.”
