by Harley Stone
I coughed back a laugh. “Rabbit’ll be with you when he finishes the diagnostics. Please help yourself to any refreshments,” I pointed at the fridge and coffee area, “and let Tiffany know if you need anything.”
Tiffany waved and smiled, making her presence known.
As I started to walk away, Ms. Moore grabbed my arm. Thinking I was going to have to scrape her off again, I was surprised to see genuine appreciation—and not lust—in her eyes. “I know the towing package on my insurance didn’t cover the full tow here, young man. My daughter ran the mileage and she warned me I’d have to pay for a little over three miles. You lot took good care of my friend, Niles Fredrickson. He said you look out for veterans and their spouses.”
I remembered Mr. Fredrickson. He was a cantankerous old Marine. Looking to save some money, he’d let his grandson change the timing belt on his 4-Runner. The kid was only trying to help, but he’d botched up the install, resulting in bent intake valves in the cylinder head. Mr. Fredrickson had recently had a triple-bypass surgery, and was dangerously close to working himself into another heart attack in our shop, complaining about the VA’s handling of the surgery. Rabbit had taken pity on the old bastard and had only charged him for parts, donating his time and labor, insisting it was the least he could do.
We didn’t advertise our altruism, and we didn’t give discounts for the recognition. Vets gave a lot for their country, and we preferred to let them keep their pride. I didn’t know how to respond to Ms. Moore’s assessment, so I nodded, silently confirming that we took care of our own.
She grasped my hand. “Thank you,” she said, her eyes brimming with gratitude. “You do a really good thing here.”
My chest swelled with pride. I’d fucked up a lot of things in my life. Kicked out of the Navy, rocky relationship with my family, I’d blown my friendship with Lily and had no idea what to do about the situation we were in. Despite it all, I could do this one nice thing for a fellow serviceman’s widow. It felt damn good. Even choked me up a little. Ducking my head, I swallowed past the emotion in my throat and replied, “My pleasure, ma’am.”
When Tavonte got off his phone, he looked a little frazzled. Another tow request had been made, so he followed me to the truck and climbed into the passenger’s seat. I wanted to know what was bothering him, but he apparently had some research to do. As I drove, he mashed buttons on his phone. After a while, he pulled out his wallet and entered his credit card information before pocketing his things and taking a deep breath.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Nope. I gotta go home,” he said.
I wasn’t expecting that. “Home? As in back to Nashville?” I asked. Then, because he looked so damn stressed out, I did my best to lighten the mood. “Damn. Ms. Moore really scared you off, didn’t she?”
He barked out a laugh and shook his head. “If only. Unfortunately, this is nuthin’ as simple as customer sexual harassment. My little sister’s gotten herself in with a bad crowd, and mom’s worried about her. I gotta go see what kind of shit she’s stepped in and get her cleaned up.”
“Damn, brother, I’m sorry to hear it. Sure hope she and your mom are okay.”
“Yeah. Me too. Thanks, man.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Just booked a flight for the day after tomorrow. Mom sounded scared. I… Fuck. I’m gonna kill Kiana for putting her through this.”
“Think you’ll be back?”
He toyed with his phone for a moment before shaking his head. “No. I really respect what you guys are doing here. Helping veterans… acting as a landing pad when guys get out of the service… It’s a fuckin’ noble cause, man. I want to be part of it, but although I’m down with what you’re doin’, I can’t shake this feeling that I’m not supposed to stay. There’s something out there for me, but this isn’t it. And I don’t want to stay here and miss out on whatever’s out there waiting for me.”
Tavonte’s hesitancy to commit to the club suddenly made sense. For two weeks now, he’d been shadowing me at work. He always engaged in conversation with the brothers. His suggestions were golden, and he fit right in, but he seemed hesitant to lay down roots. I wondered if Link knew he wouldn’t stay, and that’s why he had him riding with me instead of hanging out in the shop with the rest of the mechanics. He’d become a friend, and I was bummed he wouldn’t be sticking around.
Still, I understood him completely. That was exactly the way I’d felt before I left for the Navy. “Be careful, man. Sometimes you go lookin’, and you lose more than you gain.”
He frowned at me. “You and I both know you would have suffocated in some small Texas town.”
I wasn’t ready for that kind of introspection, so I lightened the conversation. “Well, this sucks. Here I thought we were gonna bond as Ms. Moore’s ski poles.”
Tavonte shuddered, then dropped his head. His shoulders shook as he chuckled. “Sick, man. I can’t believe you put that visual in my head. Again.”
“Consider it a parting gift. You’re welcome. Have you let Link know you’re leaving yet?”
He flipped his phone in the air and caught it. “No. I should probably get on that, huh?”
“Yeah. He’ll want everyone to gather and send you off.”
Tavonte cocked his head to the side and gave me a brow lift. “Why? It’s not like I joined or anything. The club doesn’t owe me shit.”
“Be that as it may, you gave ten years of your life in service to this country, and now you’re rushing off to help your mom and sister. You may not be a Dead President, but you’re sure as hell one of us.”
He gave me a lopsided grin before hitting a button on his phone and holding it to his ear. “Thanks, brother. I can’t stay, but I’m sure as shit glad I stopped here.”
I clapped him on the shoulder. “Yeah. Me too.”
8
Bull
I FIGURED LILY would be at Tavonte’s going away party, but I was in no way prepared for the actual sight of her. It felt like coming across a bottle of water after a long run through the desert in full gear. But she was still just out of my reach. Wearing distressed skinny jeans, a tight black Harley shirt, and black knee-high boots, she looked like a biker’s wet dream: sexy, soft, and a little badass. Her long, brown hair was down in big, soft curls that made me want to run them through my fingers to feel the silky strands. Her eyes and lips were made up to look even bigger and more seductive than usual. It was like every time I saw her, she got hotter.
One of these days, she was going to burn up my retinas.
Her tight-ass T-shirt left little to the imagination. Plain as day, the outline of her breasts promised one hell of a good time. She’d filled out some since I’d first met her, and her more pronounced curves were tempting as fuck. Her slender waist led into hips I’d love to grip as I took her from behind. She spun around to talk to Carly, and I got an eyeful of the most perfect ass Seattle had to offer. God, the way it strained the taut fabric of her jeans made me wish I was denim. The memory of her licking her beer bottle popped into my mind and my cock strained painfully against the back of my zipper.
Fuck!
Adjusting my erection, I forced myself to remember that this was Lily I was eye-fucking. Shit would never work between us, so I had to play it cool. I had no business looking at her like she was a goddamn warm apple pie I wanted to eat. Or stick my dick in. Maybe lick then fuck.
Get it together, Roberts, she’s like a sister to you.
Only, she wasn’t. Not at all. That lie hadn’t worked on Lily, and it sure as shit wasn’t working on me. I had to force myself to look away. If I didn’t, I’d walk over there, grab her hand, and tow her fine ass up to my room. And then where would we be? Would I really throw away our friendship just to get my dick wet?
Maybe.
It wasn’t like we were on the friendliest of terms now, so what did I have to lose.
Everything.
The entire club would hate me if I hurt Lily. Hell, I�
��d hate myself.
That sobering promise of self-loathing gave me the strength I needed to pull my gaze away from her enticing body. Still keeping her in my peripheral—so I could continue to check her out without being tempted to jump her bones—I made small talk with some of the brothers around me. But I honestly couldn’t remember a damn thing that was said. All I could think about was Lily. How she looked. What she’d feel like, writhing under me. What kind of noises she’d make when she came.
The way the people of my hometown would look at her if I ever brought her home.
Shit!
“When are you gonna man up and talk to her?” Tavonte asked, pulling me out of my fucked-up musings.
I turned to face him, effectively losing sight of the object of my obsession. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
He chuckled and handed me a beer. It was my fourth in the last two hours, and although I was far from drunk, the effects were making their presence known. Which was probably why I was having such a hard time resisting Lily. I didn’t need a fourth beer, but I couldn’t handle being sober with her in the room, either.
“You’re not that slick, Bull. You’ve been low-key creepin’ on Lily all night.”
He’d caught me. There was no use denying it, so I came clean-ish. “I’m not creeping. I’m lookin’ out for her.”
His arched eyebrow told me he wasn’t buying my bullshit.
“She’s a lightweight, and I saw her take a couple shots of Fireball.” Two shots, and she’d had at least as many bottles of water. She was probably more sober than I was. “I’m making sure none of these motherfuckers take advantage of her while she’s drinkin’.” I was so full of shit my grey eyes had probably turned brown. I was the only thing Lily had to fear in this club, and we both knew it.
“Keep tellin’ yourself that, bro.”
“I will, thanks.” I already had a ticket to hell for all the shit I wanted to do to Lily’s body, might as well upgrade my seat with more lies. “It’s the goddamn truth.”
“Cut the shit and follow me.” Tavonte started walking.
Feeling particularly rebellious, I decided I didn’t want to follow him. He seemed to be in another bossy, preachy phase, and was looking for a goddamn soapbox. I was in no mood to be lectured about wasting chocolate cake. He didn’t know my life. He didn’t have all the details, and he sure as hell couldn’t judge me. Besides, the asshole was leaving tomorrow. I could slip away, avoid him for the rest of the night, and not have to face whatever music he was determined to play for me.
He’s a friend. Don’t be a chickenshit, Roberts.
Truth was, I’d miss his meddling ways. I didn’t want to brush him off before he left. I watched his back for only a moment more before guilt and curiosity finally got the best of me. I padded after him, weaving through bikers, ol’ ladies, and club whores until we got to the empty sofa in the corner of the common area. We were still part of the party, but far enough away from the group to hold a private conversation.
He sat on the patched up old sofa and gestured for me to do the same. When I did, he put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, giving me his full attention.
“Before I leave, I want you to do something for me,” he said.
I had the distinct feeling I wouldn’t like his request, so I requested more details before committing. “What do you want me to do?”
“Be straight with me. Tell me what’s really going on between you and Lily?”
What was he, Dr. Phill? “Why?”
“Why not?” he fired back.
“Because it’s none of your damn business. Why do you even care?”
He shook his head and sat back. “Good question. I don’t even know. Maybe it’s because I see you doin’ all this shit for other people and I think you’re a good guy who deserves to be happy.”
Needing a moment to digest his assessment, I looked away. My gaze unconsciously sought out Lily. She had Tap’s daughter on her hip and was swaying to the music. She looked like a fucking angel, and I couldn’t tear my attention away. She must have sensed me watching her, because she met my gaze and gave me a tentative smile. She should be pissed at me for the way I’d treated her when she brought me donuts, but that smile sang of grace and mercy.
I didn’t deserve either.
I dropped my gaze to my hands.
Tavonte chuckled. “Look, it’s obvious you two are into each other. You treated her like shit at the shop yesterday, but I know you’re not an asshole, so I’m guessing there’s more to the story. You don’t owe me an explanation, but maybe you need someone to talk to. I don’t got a dog in this fight, and my ass is heading to Nashville tomorrow. If you need to get something off your chest… this is your golden opportunity.”
Tavonte made a lot of sense. The attraction I felt toward Lily only seemed to be getting worse, and I wasn’t sure how long I could continue to fight it. I missed her companionship. But I was terrified of the way she kept pushing me for more. What if I gave in and we did something we’d both regret?
“Come on, man. Talk to me. What do you have to lose?”
Nothing. I’d already lost everything. I sat back and tugged at a small hole in my jeans. “Since you’re from the city, I feel like I need to start by explaining my hometown. It’s small. Really small. When I got in trouble at school for rubbing Robbie Grindle’s face in the dirt, my mom knew before I got home. Not because my teacher called her, but because Jessie Stuart told her mom who called the entire prayer circle to pray for my badass little self.”
Tavonte chuckled. “Okay, that’s small.”
“Yeah. Everyone knows everyone. Anyway, my mom’s best friend had a daughter my age. Amber.” If I closed my eyes, I could still see her sitting at her desk in kindergarten. Larry Frampton had put a frog on her chair, and I’d cleaned his clock for it. Larry and I had just gotten told to go to the principal’s office when Amber grabbed my arm. She smiled up at me, and I knew right then my destiny was set. I knew I was going to marry that girl.
“We grew up together. She was my best friend before I even knew what friends were. She was shy and sweet, and I was always there to protect her. I don’t even remember when we started dating. It was natural progression, or some shit like that. After high school, I bought her a ring and promised to marry her. But first, I needed to put in my time in the service. It was all good, because Amber had dreams of her own. She wanted to go to school and get certified to work with special needs kids. We were planning to get hitched after my four years in the Navy.”
Because I was single and in Seattle, it was clear my story didn’t have a happy ending. Tavonte’s brow furrowed and he steepled his fingers. “What happened?”
“While Amber was away at college, she… she had a run-in with some asshole. She reported it, but he was a privileged little fuck, and nobody believed her.”
“What kind of run-in?”
I knew I was being evasive, but there were some details I couldn’t even admit to myself. Still, this was my chance to get it all off my chest, and I needed to be transparent. “She was raped.”
He sucked in a breath. “I see. You said nobody believed her. What about you? You believed her, right?”
I felt the familiar stab in my chest when I thought about Amber. I had so many questions about her rape, but answers would forever be out of my reach. “She didn’t tell me,” I admitted.
Tavonte’s eyes widened with shock.
It was an appropriate response. Sure, I wasn’t much of a talker, but I was a damn good listener. She should have trusted me with the truth. I’d spent so many nights lying awake and wondering what had happened. Was she at a party? Was she drinking? Did she feel guilty? Was she afraid she’d led him on? She could have been honest with me and I wouldn’t have given a single fuck about the circumstances. I sure as hell wouldn’t have blamed her. I would have wanted to kill the fucker, but I also would have reassured her. I would have fought for her. I would have made calls and jumped through hoop
s. I would have found that piece of shit and no amount of his daddy’s dollars could have kept me from nailing his balls to the wall. I would have found a way to protect her from whatever hell he’d put her through.
But in the end, she didn’t tell me.
He’d taken her virginity and she’d taken her life, both of which were promised to me, and I was left with nothing. Not even an explanation.
“She didn’t tell you?” Tavonte asked, drawing me out of my painful memories. “Why not? How’d you find out?”
“She… She committed suicide, Tay. I found out after she was dead.”
His jaw dropped.
Pain stabbed at me. Years had passed, and the hurt had dulled, but the fact she hadn’t trusted me to love her through everything still fucking burned. What kind of man doesn’t protect his woman?
Me.
I hadn’t.
And she hadn’t trusted me to.
“Fuck,” Tavonte finally muttered.
The expression seemed woefully inadequate, but English didn’t offer a better alternative. “Yeah. Fuck.”
“I’m sorry, man. I just…” He ran a hand over his head. “Holy shit.”
Tavonte looked like he needed a minute. I could relate. It had been years, and I still couldn’t process what had happened. Giving him time, I drained my beer, and then went in search of another. We’d need it. Hell, there probably wasn’t enough beer in Seattle to help me get through the rest of the story. Still, there was something therapeutic about laying it all out there like this. I was surprised to find that the edge had blunted. The past wasn’t cutting me as deeply anymore.
By the time I returned with our drinks, Tavonte had gotten his expression under control. Shock and awe had been replaced with a steely determination to understand my plight. “I can’t even imagine what you must have gone through. Is this why you won’t give Lily a chance? You’re afraid of something like this happening again?”
If only it was that simple. I plopped his beer on the coffee table in front of him and sat with mine in hand. “No. You ready for the rest of the story?”
