When the meal was over, the servants cleared the tables and put them away. Hugh, Alais, Edmund and the priest took up seats around the fire. Alais noticed Edmund encouraging Hugh to sit slightly further back from the fire. Edmund went up in her estimation. He was so discreet that she only noticed because she was already watching Hugh herself, afraid his exhaustion would soon claim him. Edmund took his place next to his master, ready to catch him if he should start to fall towards the fire.
The servants put out most of the candles around the room, until the only ones left were the ones by the fire. In the gloom, Alais could almost imagine herself back at Leigh at her favourite time of the day. This was the time when they told stories and sang songs and when her mother read to them. Her uncle, Father Guillaume, would tell stories of his pilgrimage to Rome and her mother’s brother told about the battles he had fought in. Visitors brought their own stories and she held many of them in her head, ready to share with Hugh as they sat like this on their way to her husband. Then she would share them with the family at Liss. She was looking forward to this.
As a guest, Hugh invited Alais to tell the first story. She noticed his hesitation and knew that he did not want to intrude on her grief, but she wanted to remember some of the stories that her mother had enjoyed and she recounted her uncle’s first impressions of Rome. Father Roland was most appreciative and expressed pleasure both at her skill in telling the tale and also at the wonders that her uncle had seen. Hugh explained that of the three of them, Father Roland was by far the best story-teller. Alais did not doubt that this was so. Neither Hugh nor Edmund was especially talkative, so they were probably not good story-tellers.
Alais loved to hear new stories and the priest told them a story about King Arthur and his knights that she had not heard before. Hugh had not overstated the priest’s talents. He skilfully wove his tale, giving each person a different voice and even changing the way he held himself as the action moved on and Alais saw the people and places he described as if they stood before her. She was surprised at how effectively it took her mind off her mother and her fears for the journey ahead. She had not even noticed Hugh drifting off to sleep and would not have known that he had slept had she not been looking in his direction at the exact moment that Edmund gently prodded him awake and suggested that they all go to bed in preparation for rising early in the morning. Hugh accepted Edmund’s suggestion gladly and they all rose. Edmund and the priest left the hall and Hugh escorted her to the screen. He paused before taking his leave and she waited for him to speak.
“I trust you find your accommodation to your liking, my lady.”
“It is very comfortable. Thank you for giving up your bed.”
Hugh made to move away, then turned back to her. In the gloom she could not discern his expression. She became alert, suddenly aware that she would not be able to tell if he lied to her, then wondered why she thought he would lie.
He took her hand and squeezed it. Despite the warmth of the room she shivered. He did not seem to notice.
“My lord?”
“I am sorry that your time here has been so short and unhappy.”
“I have been sad,” she corrected him, gently, “not unhappy. You and Matthew and Edmund have been very good to me. I am grateful. Perhaps I will visit you here again.” She was already looking forward to another visit.
Hugh gave a short, bitter laugh. He bent and brushed his lips over the back of her hand. Alais felt her heart beat faster and her breathing grow shallow. She felt dizzy.
“I should like that, but I doubt it will be possible. My father does not come to Hill.”
Alais felt his anger. Did he mean that his father did not visit by choice, or that Hugh forbade him to come?
“I have given instructions for you to be woken just before dawn. I hope you will sleep well.”
With that, he dropped her hand and walked away, leaving her to come to terms with the emotions swirling around in her head and the even stranger feelings sweeping through her body.
Sarah had appeared as soon as Hugh had left the hall. She undressed Alais, who could not concentrate, wondering what was happening between her and Hugh. She had never met anyone quite like him. He was quiet, but a good companion. She was convinced that she was in a dangerous situation, but she had never felt safer than when she was in his arms. She owed him her life and she did not know how she could repay that debt.
As she lay curled up in the huge bed thoughts of the past, present and future tumbled around in her head. Sleep would not come and she gave up trying to chase it, choosing instead to look at each memory or worry or dream, examine it closely and then put it away from her. Everything had changed since she had left Leigh and her mind was full of happy times there.
Alais knew that there was no going back to Leigh, there was only going on to Liss. Leigh was no longer home. It was possible that she would visit it with her husband in the future, but she would never again be at home there. The thought no longer made her sad. When she had left Leigh, she had thought that her mother would return there. And now she knew that it was her mother’s presence that had made Leigh her home. It was not that she had ceased to love the place or the people and her uncles and her cousins would still be there, but without her mother it had no attraction for her and was no longer home. In many ways, it was a relief to know that there was no going back. She had always intended to put all her efforts into her new life, to be the best wife she could, to manage her husband’s household efficiently and to understand his estates. Now there was simply nowhere else for her to go. For the past eight years since her father’s death her place had been at her mother’s side. From now on her place would be with her husband. She had promised her mother that she would be a good wife and she intended to keep that promise. Although her father had been dead for many years, she could dimly remember the good example Lady Eleanor had set in her relationship with him. This had been reinforced many times in the years since his death. Her mother had spent hours with her and her younger sister teaching them the practicalities of being a good wife and discussing with them what they should do when certain situations arose. Alais felt that she had been well-trained and was ready to fulfil all her wifely duties, except one, of which she understood she could know nothing until her husband taught her. Of this her mother had spoken little, except to say that it could either be her greatest happiness or her greatest sadness.
From now on, Liss would be her home, or whichever of his other estates her husband chose to make their most permanent residence. It was not impossible that she could become fond of another place. She could tell that Hugh had become fond of Hill, even though Liss must have been his home for most of his life. He obviously spent a good deal of time here. From the evidence of the comfort of his bedchamber and the building work he had carried out on the church she doubted whether this was just one of a number of fleeting visits. He seemed settled here and his people seemed used to him. He knew them and their business and did not seem as distant as he would if he spent most of his time elsewhere. This must be where he and his wife spent most of their time.
Alais hoped that over the two or three days of their journey he would tell her more about what she could expect when she arrived at Liss. She knew that she would meet the widow of his older brother, his wife and his other siblings. What was his wife like? Had they married for love? How many children did they have? This line of thought did not give her much pleasure, but it would be better to be prepared.
Eventually she decided that his wife would be slightly younger than him and that they had only been married four or five years. She could not decide whether it was better to imagine him heroically defying his father to marry for love a woman who came with a small dowry, or to picture him honouring an unwanted match made for them as children. In the end, she decided that it suited her chivalric ideal more if he had defied his father and they were desperately in love, or had been, for why would a man in love look at another woman in the way Hugh looked at her? No, n
o, she could not think those thoughts. Better to concentrate on his wife.
They would have two healthy children, a boy and a girl. Perhaps Hugh had grown tired of his wife; perhaps she had grown tired of him. Perhaps he loved her still and Alais was interpreting meaning from his glances that was not intended. Alais sighed, knowing that it was, knowing exactly what Hugh’s glances meant and what he wanted. This was dangerous ground and she could not let her thoughts rest here, for she might find that she wanted the same thing.
She dragged her mind back to Liss. No doubt things would be done differently there. It was a much bigger estate than Leigh and she looked forward to learning about it, wanting to find out what crops grew well there, what sort of cattle they had, how much wool the sheep yielded, how good the women were at spinning, whether or not the steward was honest. All these things interested her and Hugh could tell her much on the journey.
It would be foolish to say that she was not afraid. She had no idea what to expect when she arrived at Liss, although she suspected it would be a cool reception, for her husband had not visited her in four years. Hugh’s pity for her was understandable. She was a young woman with a much older husband and one of Hugh’s sisters had suffered much in the same situation. It was a common situation, however and Alais had given it much thought. It was still her duty to do her best for her husband and this was still her aim. She tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable in the bed. The tiredness that had wrapped itself around her all day had now deserted her and she felt little need of sleep. She knew, however, that she must sleep or she would not be able to keep up with her escort tomorrow.
Despite all her fears, Alais had to admit to herself that she was excited about the prospect of the journey to Liss. Although she had been to Southampton a number of times, it was the furthest she had travelled that she could remember. As a child she had travelled with her family between her father’s estates, but she could not remember the journeys, or the places she had seen. He had had estates in the south of England and in Shropshire. They had travelled from place to place inspecting and improving and building. Some of the estates had been turned into strong bolt-holes in case the civil war that had threatened for so long became a reality. When the end had come, all her father’s preparations turned out to be in vain. She could remember the soldiers coming for him. They had all been taken, but her mother and all the children had been deposited at Leigh to fend for themselves. They had never seen her father again.
Now it was time to move on to a place where she knew no one at all, in the company of a man who had been a stranger until two days ago.
From the other side of the screen she could hear the male servants snoring and shifting around in the rushes. She wondered where Hugh and Edmund were sleeping. Was there a guest room somewhere? She could not imagine that Hugh was sleeping with the servants in his own home.
Fully awake now, she thought about the knight who had saved her life.
On reflection, it was not the arriving that she anticipated with such excitement, it was the journey itself. Despite the danger, she wanted to be with Hugh. He was probably the most interesting man she had ever met and he seemed to want to protect her. She knew that he had other desires, as well, but neither of them would have the opportunity to indulge them. The travelling party would be too large for them to be alone and her own sense of what was due to her husband would surely keep her safe. Although the thought of indulging those desires was not unpleasant, she had not thought of a man in that way before. Some of the men who had visited them at Leigh had certainly desired her and some had made their desire plain. They had been easy to dismiss; she was not some village girl to be tricked into the barn for a night in the hay. More than one had limped for a while after the encounter. Hugh was different. He kept his desire under control, but if he chose to act on it, he would be difficult to resist, but she must resist, whatever the cost.
She was tired now. All her thoughts turned back to Hugh, where they must not go, but no sooner did she have them under her control than they wandered again. Alais knew, as she drifted off to sleep, that her body would have to resist, even as her mind could not and she gave up the fight. It could not hurt this once to imagine his kisses or his body against hers. Alais fell asleep smiling, imagining herself asleep in Hugh’s arms.
Chapter Six
When Alais went into the hall, having been woken before dawn and dressed by Sarah, she found Hugh there alone. He looked up as she entered, then stood. A small fire had been lit and even by its faint light she could see his expression.
“You look troubled, my lord.”
“Indeed, my lady. I am wondering how to manage this journey most safely for you.”
She smiled. “Surely my husband has sent a large enough escort?” Although, now that she gave the matter some thought, she realised that she had only seen servants who obviously belonged at Hill. There had been no one without a specific part to play, except Edmund and even he had stepped briefly into the rôle of steward. Where was her escort?
“No, my lady. I am afraid my father sent no escort at all. Edmund and I are here because I did not think it right for you to travel unattended. I cannot spare men from here. It is a small estate and every man is needed, especially if the French invade.”
Alais was astounded. Her husband had insulted her by sending no escort. Worse, he had insulted her mother. He could not have known that she would die on the journey. “But he sent a letter.” she said, confused. She strode across the room so that she stood in front of him, so that she could see his face. His shame and embarrassment for his father were clearly displayed. Alais turned her back on him in her anger. Her husband had sought to humiliate her and her mother by making them travel unescorted. Then she realised that Hugh must have disobeyed him to provide even this small escort and she turned back to him. She saw again the pity that she had seen the day before.
“No, my lady. The letter came from me. I am afraid I hoped that you would believe it came from my father, since I smudged the signature. I had hoped to meet you before you sent your own servants back to Leigh. They could have travelled with us.”
“I am glad you did not, for then they would now be dead.”
He bowed his head to acknowledge the truth of what she said.
“I understand now,” said Alais slowly, “why you asked us to keep the carter and the cart with us. It seemed a strange request.” She sat at the table beside him and a servant brought her some food. Starting to pick at her bread and cheese she turned back to Hugh.
“I thought it would be easier for your mother to ride in a cart and I knew I could not provide one for her comfort. I cannot take a cart from the work here, so you will have to ride.”
“I can manage that,” said Alais sadly. As she had hoped, she was learning more about her husband, but it failed to please her. “I ride all the time at Leigh. I should be able to keep up with you.” It was not the riding that was the insult. She had travelled from Leigh on a horse, leaving her mother to ride in the cart. No, it was the lack of escort, as if her husband did not care about their safety or their rank.
Hugh nodded. Relief was evident on his face, but still there seemed to be something else.
Irritated, she tapped her finger on the table. “Is there something else, my lord?” she inquired brusquely.
Hugh’s back straightened and he stood even taller. “My lady, the woods and byways are full of outlaws. It would be dangerous for two men and a woman to travel. It might encourage attack.”
This was not news to Alais. For many months now there had been tales of lawless men roaming unhindered in this part of the county. “That cannot…” she began, but was interrupted by Hugh.
“Therefore my lady, I think it best if three men ride, or rather two men and a boy.”
Shock kept Alais silent. He surely could not intend that she should dress as a boy. How would people know who she was and know to pay the proper respect to her? “But, my lord, you must know that it is a sin for a wo
man to wear men’s clothes.”
“I am sorry, my lady, but it is the surest way of keeping you safe. I would not suggest it if I did not think it necessary.”
Alais knew that was true. He could not possibly imagine that such a thing would be welcome to her. It was bad enough to go to her husband unescorted, but it was unthinkable to go to him dressed as a boy. “No,” she said firmly, “I am grateful to you for taking my safety into account, but I cannot do it.”
“Lady Alais,” he said forcefully, “I am afraid you have no choice. To do otherwise would be to put my life and Edmund’s life in danger, as well as your own. Whilst I would be prepared for that on my own account, I am not prepared to risk Edmund’s life, or yours.”
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