by Lacey Legend
Mason smiled—even her attitude made him happy. “Why don’t you ever seem happy to see me?” he teased.
A little smile came on her lips and she opened her mouth as if to make a smart remark, but she quickly shook her head and he could see her change her mind. “It is nice to see you Mason, truly. I was actually thinking about you last night.”
Her thinking about him the same night he was dreaming about her would have felt like a great thing if it hadn’t been for the tone in her voice. She was clipped and reserved and he had a feeling that what she was thinking about hadn’t been the same as his thoughts. But he tried to be playful anyway and simply play it off.
“Oh yeah? Was I in your dreams?”
He asked her teasingly, trying to lighten her mood, and he did see her blush just a little and look away from him, but he could tell that it hadn’t changed her mood.
“No, actually I wanted to thank you for how you’ve changed my life and I don’t just mean with the baby.” Kelsey rubbed her belly without even realizing what she was doing, and Mason longed to reach out and touch her. He hadn’t even come close to touching her or feeling his daughter move or kick. The feeling depressed him and he hated how much he’d already missed.
“I want to thank you also for changing my view on life. You’ve been able to show me that there’s more to life then reputation and money and status.”
Mason couldn’t help that he was surprised to hear her say that. He wasn’t exactly sure how he’d showed her that, but he was glad that she’d realized that life wasn’t all about being a princess after all. The urge to grab her hand and pull her into him was strong, but she must have sensed his thought, because she took a step away from him.
“I know that next week when I marry Alan, what you’ve taught me will help me create a wonderful life for us.”
His heart stopped right in that moment. Next week?
“I thought you were getting married next year?” He was sure his eyes were wide with panic and the octave his voice was hitting was an extreme but he didn’t care.
She didn’t look him in the eyes when she answered. “We were going to get married next year, and we are still going to have a celebration next year, but we decided to become a family before the baby comes.”
He couldn’t believe it. She was getting married in one week and creating a family without him. How could life have given him that dream to make him see what he really wanted in life just to take it away from him? It didn’t seem fair—it didn’t even seem real.
“But… but….” was all he could come up with. There was no argument he could make. How could he when he hadn’t made anything of himself yet?
“I know it’s sudden, and I’m sorry to spring it on you. But you said the other day that it was a mistake to be together. And you were right: we don’t belong together.”
When had he thought it had been a mistake to be with her? His mind raced until it came up with their kiss. He hadn’t meant that it was a mistake to be with her, but a mistake to kiss someone when she was engaged to someone else. If he had thought she would have taken it any other way, he never would have said it.
“It wasn’t a mistake to be with you ever.” Mason took a step closer, and this time, he took her hand. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
For a moment her eyes locked on his and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. To show her how he felt. But just as quickly as the moment was there, it passed and she dropped her hand and her gaze.
“Mason, I’ve been hurt way too much in all of this. I have my future and the future of this little girl to think about. It’s best this way, to part as friends with an understanding that we can’t be together. You simply can’t do it and I’m not going to walk away from Alan, a man who wants to be with me, for someone who can’t figure out how to be.”
She walked to the door and his brain scrambled for something to say. Anything at all to stop her from leaving.
She turned back and looked at him again before stepping inside. “I’ll call you when the baby is coming.” Her voice came out as a choked whisper and he knew tears were coming. He would have done anything to stop them, but how could he? She was right, he hadn’t been the man she needed, and he couldn’t prove to her that his life had changed yet. So, he let her walk away.
Standing there on the sidewalk, watching her wipe the tears from her cheeks and put on fake smiles for the women inside as they started to show her dresses as if nothing at all had happened, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He could have stood there and watched her all day, but he felt a small tug on his hand.
“Is that where your baby is?” Adam asked pointing to Kelsey.
Mason cleared his throat. “Yeah buddy, it is.”
Adam looked at Kelsey again and smiled. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
Mason looked down at the little boy on his hand. He had no idea that Mason’s whole world had just crashed down around him, all he knew was that there was a brand new part of his family coming soon and he was excited to see her. Mason had to agree, he was excited too. He may be losing one girl from his life but at least he wasn’t losing her.
“Any day now you’ll get to,” Mason answered.
Adam smiled a big grin, one reserved for double scoops on ice cream and winning a baseball game. “Cool.”
Mason laughed. Somehow this little boy always knew what to say to put a smile back on his face. He took one last look at Kelsey before he pulled Adam’s hand, telling him that it was time to go.
“You know, Mom always told me that when you love someone, you should say it,” Adam told him as they walked toward the truck.
Mason sighed, his mother had told them that all the time.
“I love you Adam.”
“Ew,” the little boy answered. “I didn’t mean me. I meant her. You love her, you should tell her.”
*
The week flew by, and before Kelsey knew it, her mother was arriving with a hair dresser and a makeup artist to get her ready.
“Mom, this is hardly necessary. It’s a courthouse wedding. I don’t need my hair or makeup done—I can do them myself.”
Her mother waved it off. “Consider it a practice run for next year. Besides, we still have the dinner party tonight and there will of course be plenty of pictures.”
Kelsey took a deep breath and just continued to remind herself, as she had been all week, that her mother meant well and just wanted the day to be special. She tried hard to block out the fact that she was completely uninterested in any of the craziness and would just be relieved when the day was done.
“Are you feeling okay?” her mother asked.
When she thought of it, Kelsey realized that she hadn’t exactly been feeling well all day. She had felt… off. But she had tried to push past those feelings because she shouldn’t be feeling like that on her wedding day. She should be feeling excited and anxious and even maybe a little nervous. But not off. Instead of admitting to her mother she didn’t feel quite right, she brushed it off and pasted a smile on her face.
“Yes, I’m fine. Just a bit anxious I suppose.”
Her mother and hairdresser and makeup artists all exchanged knowing looks as if every bride goes through these feelings and just continued on with their missions. She had to admit when they were done that they had done a wonderful job. If only she felt wonderful. The longer she had sat in the chair getting pampered the worse she had felt.
But her mother hadn’t noticed any further. Instead, she was getting herself pampered and prepared. She had bought her own dress for the occasion. Of course it was expensive and over the top, but that was her mother. Kelsey was sure that Alan’s mother had done the same. And her mother had made her get an over the top dress as well, something far too fancy for a courthouse wedding.
White with lace and crystals, it was something the old her would have loved but the new her just found obnoxious. Beautiful but obnoxious, especially at that price. She shuddered to think what her wedding dress would look like
next year—what expensive monstrosity her mother would choose for her to wear.
She slipped the dress on and her big belly didn’t even look so big. It had been weeks since she’d felt even slightly beautiful, feeling swollen and uncomfortable all over. Her mother continued to assure her that all pregnant women felt that way toward the end of their pregnancy.
Even as fancy as the dress was, and as nice as her hair and makeup were, she still felt fat and awful. But it was a big day and she wasn’t going to ruin it complaining. In fact, she needed to shake off the whole unsettling feeling that she had; it was her wedding day and she needed to start enjoying it.
Looking in the mirror, she attempted a real smile and pictured Alan’s face. The smile wasn’t as bright or as excited as she wanted it to be, but it was there. Just seeing it made her feel a little better that if her real smile was still inside of her, it had to be a good sign.
A knock on her door shook her from her thoughts. “Come in,” she called out.
Her father cracked the door open and he peeked around the corner. Their relationship had not exactly returned to normal as she had hoped it would. He didn’t look at her the same way anymore. Something was missing from his eyes and she had a feeling it was pride in his daughter. It broke her heart, but there was nothing she could do about it.
“I’m ready, Daddy.”
He stepped inside of the room and took her in. “You look beautiful. This isn’t exactly how I pictured everything happening, but if you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
“What do you mean ‘if I’m happy’?”
Her father put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. Watching them in her mirror she felt like a little girl again. “These past nine months all I’ve seen in your eyes is sadness. It breaks my heart to look at you and see pain. I don’t know if it is the pregnancy, Mason, or marrying Alan, or maybe a combination of all three, but the only thing I want for you is to be happy.”
Kelsey looked up into his eyes. “Is that really all that matters to you?”
He kissed her on the top of her forehead like he did when she was a little girl. “Always.”
As the courthouse had come into view, her stomach started to feel awful. “Are you sure you’re okay?” her mother asked in the back of the car. Kelsey took a few deep breaths and tried to smile, but something really didn’t feel right. Was she having an anxiety attack? She’d never had one before, but her heart was racing and her stomach was cramping and she felt claustrophobic in all of her dress.
“We’re here,” the driver informed her and her family.
Stopping the car, he came around and opened the door for them. Her father gave her one last quizzical look and once again she pasted the smile on her face. She wondered how many times she was going to have to force that smile.
The moment she stepped out, she saw Alan waiting on the steps and her stomach cramped again. Her father offered her a hand and helped to heave her body out of the car. She continued to remind herself to push through it, she was only nervous and soon everything would be over with.
“Can I help you?” the woman in the courthouse asked.
Kelsey had to bite back a sarcastic comment about being all dressed up and what in the world did the woman think they were doing there?
“This lovely woman and I would like to get married today,” Alan answered.
Her stomach cramped again. She sat in a chair holding herself while Alan filled out the necessary information.
“Are you ready?” Alan startled her from her thoughts and offered her his hand out of her chair. She smiled slightly and took it and again pulled her body up from sitting.
Hand-in-hand they walked into the courthouse room where everyone was already waiting for them. The judge stood at the front of the room and smiled as they entered. They walked to the front and Kelsey continued to take deep breaths, but the moment that she stood in front of the judge, she felt a rush come out of her. Looking down she could see exactly why she hadn’t been feeling well all day.
“My water just broke.”
*
Mason had thought about Adam’s little words all week long. Should he have just told her he loved her when he had the chance? Should he have fought for her, told her not to marry him? A million times he picked up his phone wanting to dial her number—he hadn’t used it all since she’d given it to him.
There were times he even entertained the thought of driving to her house and trying to convince her to give him another chance right there on her fiancé’s steps. But he never did that either. He didn’t know exactly when she was getting married, but every day he woke up wondering if it was the day. It was a horrible and sickening feeling.
Luckily, he had his new job to keep his mind as occupied as he could. Work was busy and he was doing everything he could to prove to his new boss that he’d made the right decision giving Mason a chance. But at night, after Adam went to sleep and he lay there trying to do the same, it was like Elliotsville all over again.
He would think about her and what she was doing. He would think back to all of the things he should have done differently and he kicked himself constantly thinking about the mistakes he made. Why had he stopped kissing her when she came and saw him? He should have taken her in his arms like he wanted to and never let her go.
Instead, he had been a fool and time and time again he let her walk away from him. Most of the time her walking away was his own fault, because he wouldn’t let her know just how much he really wanted to be with her.
And he wanted it so badly. He wanted her sarcasm and her spoiled, sassy attitude. He wanted her kiss and her feather-light touch. Mostly he wanted to see the love coming from her eyes that he felt inside of himself.
Friday afternoon he had an early shift at the car dealership and was looking forward to a nice weekend and a break. The neighbors offered to give Mason a night off and babysit Adam again and all he wanted to do was crack open a beer and just sit and do nothing. He didn’t want to think or hurt anymore.
He just wanted to shut down and try to find a way to move on from his heartbreak. Kelsey was probably already a married woman and living happily, or at least living, with her new husband. There was no convincing him that she was happy with Alan. He had seen her in the dress shop, he had seen her fake smile, he had seen right through her.
If Alan knew her at all, he would know that Kelsey wore her heart on her sleeve. She was as easy to read as picking up a book, her thoughts and feelings always written across her face. That’s why he knew she wasn’t happy with Alan, it’s why he knew that she still felt so much for himself. But it’s also why he knew that he’d hurt her, he could see it written on her and it broke his heart every time.
With so many thoughts swirling in his head, he couldn’t wait for his shift to end on Friday. He liked the job a lot, but he needed a break. So he knew it would figure that the moment he got off of his shift his cellphone would start ringing.
He almost didn’t even want to look at who it was. His finger twitched over the button to silence the ring and not even pull it out of his pocket. But something inside of him wouldn’t let him simply ignore the call. When he pulled it out of his pocket, he noticed Kelsey’s name was lit up across the screen.
Now his heart was racing as he answered it quickly. A thought that she could have possibly changed her mind came over him and he couldn’t answer his phone fast enough.
“Kelsey?”
There was panting coming from the other end of the phone.
“I’m in labor,” she answered.
“How is that possible? She wasn’t due for a couple of weeks I thought?”
“Well, I guess she didn’t get the memo. Are you coming or not?”
Even when in labor, she couldn’t drop her attitude.
“I’ll be there,” he answered.
Quickly he called his neighbors to let them know where he would be and that he would come get Adam when he could come meet her. Then he was off, racing toward the hospita
l in a complete panic that he’d miss her birth. He was her father, he couldn’t miss it. There was no way he would let Alan be there to see her be born and not him. No, it was his daughter and he’d missed far too much already. Getting to the hospital was a blur, as if he was on autopilot.
Once he arrived inside, he frantically looked around looking for anyone from Kelsey’s family that he recognized. When he didn’t see anyone, he raced to the front station to ask where she was.
“I’m looking for Kelsey Roman, she’s having my baby.” Mason was feeling impatient as the woman typed in her name and it occurred to Mason that Roman may not even be her last name anymore. He couldn’t think about that at the moment, he just had to hope it was so that he could find her in time.
The woman finally looked up at him. “She’s already in the birthing room, the baby is coming quickly, so you’re going to have to hurry.” She gave him directions and Mason ran through the hospital doors and raced down the hallway. His mind reeled at the fact that he was about to be a father, probably any minute.
He really hadn’t given any thought to the question if he was ready to be, he’d spent so much time thinking about Kelsey and the shock of everything that he hadn’t really taken time to think about it all. It wasn’t as if he had the time while he was running through the halls but still the word ‘Dad’ kept swirling in his mind.
When he finally reached the room he heard screaming and he knew she must be almost there. Bursting into the room he saw Kelsey, sweaty and in pain, gritting her teeth through it all. Alan stood on one side of her holding her hand while her mother stood on the other side.
“What is he doing here?” her mother snarled.
“He’s the fa… father…” Kelsey panted out.
“Well can’t he wait in the waiting room?” Alan offered. “This seems like more of a family affair.”
Already Mason was being cut out of the family and she hadn’t even been born yet.
“I may not be family to you, but I am family for the little girl that’s about to be born,” Mason countered.
He could see both Alan and Kelsey’s mother about to argue but the doctor interrupted them all.
