“Yes, ma’am,” I lied, before returning inside the house. I needed to call a locksmith to change the locks.
My heart ached because I wanted to help Jacob, but I had no desire for us to reunite or to keep being a fool.
The only desire I had was to live my truth now. And the fact was I loved a man that I was scared to love. I freely gave my heart to everyone except the one that it belonged to because I didn’t dare to reach out.
Being rejected by Bryce would be my undoing.
CHAPTER 28 – PEYTON
PATIENCE WASN’T A CHARACTER trait of mine. Of all the gifts I’d received in life, patience wasn’t one of them. I tapped my finger against the table, watching and waiting from the shadows.
Today had been our official grand re-opening and tonight was the first of our open mic nights. The first act was a rock group called Night Trek.
I believed I was more nervous than any of the groups performing tonight. If open mic night failed, I wasn’t sure if I could successfully get others to come in for another night. But if it was successful, there would be no limits to the acts I could get going on this thing.
I’d opted to do this on Thursday and Friday nights because there wasn’t much to do on Thursday nights in the nearby towns. And while Friday offered a lot of variety, I still wanted my store to be one of those options in hopes they’d choose me.
Saturdays were too competitive a day, and I figured I could always offer it in the future if demand was high.
“Break a leg, guys!” I said as the band prepared to take the stage after Anita announced them.
“Thanks!” they replied as they hastily made their way to our stage.
“Thanks for the opportunity,” the drummer said with a brief nod as he pointed his drum stick at me.
I smiled as I listened to Anita, hyping the crowd.
She’d earned that position simply because she had a sultry voice that was perfect for these type events. When she volunteered to do it, it was a no-brainer to me.
I was surprised by how packed my little book store was tonight. My thoughts turned briefly to Bryce as they often did when I saw the growth our store experienced. His suggestions had panned out.
It was just a shame that’s all that worked out for us.
“Hey, come on and take a spot in the audience. It’s the best seat,” Karina said, tugging on my hand.
Laughing, I said, “Okay.”
Karina had prepared the food for tonight’s events, mostly finger foods, cakes, and a few charcuterie boards. But I appreciated her support.
I quickly followed her off the stage and to two tables pulled together near the back of the store. Gianna, Seda, Mahin, Silver, Gina, Melissa, Dior, and Aaliyah beamed at me when I sat down. Karina’s sister Lori and her cousin, Rhonda, were also at the table.
I was surprised because the only ones I expected to be there were Karina, Silver, and Gianna.
“This is so exciting!” Aaliyah said.
“Thanks for coming out to support us. I thought you guys said you couldn’t make it!” I said, looking at the group of ladies.
“We wanted you to think that. It was a surprise!”
“Shhh, they’re starting!” Dior said, bouncing around in her chair and rubbing her hands together.
We all went silent for a moment watching the band, and then I slowly began to nod my head to the music, getting into the groove of it. I smiled when I recalled the last time I’d danced.
Bryce had mercilessly teased me about my lack of rhythm.
The smile dropped from my lips. Why did it all come down to this? Everything came back to him. No matter what I did or what I felt, it always came back to Bryce.
Every comparison, every feeling, every sentiment, and desire of my life circulated on that man. I pressed my thumb at the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes and inhaled and then exhaled deeply. Tonight wasn’t about him. I had to release all of the “what-ifs” and move forward with my life.
I sat numbly throughout the rest of the performances, missing most of them. It was a struggle through the second and third acts to stay in my chair and keep my tears at bay.
I could tell the ladies were enjoying themselves, and I was glad for them. But I couldn’t move out of this funk that I was in. Somehow it seemed as if he should have been here tonight experiencing this with the rest of us. With me. It was all because of him that this was happening.
Bishop was here with Kole and Darnell, and the three of them sat at a table alone, enjoying beers. But Bryce? Nowhere to be seen.
That was partially my fault. I hadn’t reached out to him. I’d struggled with the guilt and shame of how he felt about my actions at the bachelorette party, as well as how I felt about them.
“Friends, tonight we’ve shared quite a bit of the history of Books B4 Boyz. Well, our current owner is an integral part of getting us here to where we are tonight. It’s because of her ability to be open to suggestions and to allow her vision room for growth that we’ve had the pleasure of some of the finest talent tonight from North Carolina.”
A loud chorus of whistles, cheers, and applause went up. I hoped that she wasn’t about to call me on stage.
“And with that in mind, we, the collective ‘we’ being the staff here at Books B4 Boyz, and some of her friends would like to show our appreciation for her hard work, commitment, and investment in giving us a place to read, to fall in love with new authors, to drink some good coffee, listen to some dope music, and just chill with friends. The vibe of this place is authentic, chill, and sexy. So the next act will reflect that, and the performance is in honor of our very own, Peyton Taylor.”
Another round of applause and catcalls. The ladies at my table were making me blush as they pointed at me and held my hand up.
“Stand up and take a bow!” Seda whispered, shoving my shoulder a bit.
I did what she said because all eyes were on me, and I’m sure they could see me blushing. I gave a brief nod of my head, said thank you, and hurriedly sat back down.
“This brother’s flow is sultry and sexy. So, while it may be chilly outside and even a bit rainy, we’re heating it up in Books B4 Boyz tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our next act in honor of Peyton Taylor...Bryx.”
My head jerked up when I heard the name. The stage was dark, and I glanced at my friends who all appeared oblivious to what I’d just heard. Each of them held blank expressions while they waited for the next act.
Was it my imagination? Couldn’t be.
I waited to hear that voice that I loved so much, but I didn’t. I waited to see the face that I adored, but I never did. Instead, out of the smoky darkness...who the hell ordered dry ice, I wondered. But out of the smoky darkness came the sultry sound of a saxophone.
It poured over me like liquid gold, turning my insides to pure heat. So smooth and so sexy, the notes sounded personal as if there was no one in the room except the mysterious saxophone player and me. The one I still couldn’t see.
And just as another thought, a memory from long ago hit me, a form stepped from the smoke. My lips turned up into a grin as everything came together for me.
Jeans molding themselves to muscular thighs and a slim waist drew my attention. An emerald green shirt outlined muscular arms that flexed as long, tapered fingers accustomed to a keyboard wrote new chapters on the keys of the sax.
Slowly he descended the stage as one slow step after the next brought him to our table. Bryce played the saxophone as if he were born solely for that purpose.
How had I forgotten that he was a man of many talents? His writing was his passion, but he’d always been great at the saxophone and piano, and he was a beast on the football field.
Bryce’s eyes met mine as he spoke to me without words in a way that only he could. I believed that he could read my mind at that moment because I definitely could read his. And I knew that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him.
For a few moments, it didn’t matter that we had so much unfinis
hed business between us. It didn’t matter that we needed to resolve differences. The only thing that mattered was that he was here, and he was speaking to me in his other love language.
Bryce was on his knees with that sax, using it to push my legs apart, and I willingly followed his orders. Moving his head from side to side, he allowed the bow of the sax to stroke my thighs and nudge them further apart before he moved up a little.
His eyes told me that I belonged to him and that another could never satisfy my desires or please me the way that he had. That no matter what went on with us, I’d always be his.
Molten gold pooling in my belly, turning into a desire that warmed me down below.
“Here, honey,” Karina said, pushing a glass of wine into my hands. “You look a bit parched,” she assured me as she nodded her head.
The rest of the ladies laughed as they clapped and cheered him on.
“Did you know?” I asked Gianna when he’d finished.
“Don’t worry about all that, friend. I just need you to get backstage.”
“But we’ve got three more acts tonight,” I pointed out.
“Girl, get your ass backstage and make up with that man!” Aaliyah said.
My mouth dropped open. “Now!” Silver said, pointing in that direction.
Her order caught me off-guard, but I stood and quickly walked in the direction I knew Bryce was in. On the way, I caught Bishop’s gaze, and he mouthed, “you’re welcome,” and smiled. Maggie stood at the entrance to my office, beckoning me back.
“Don’t let this one escape,” she said, giving me a firm nod and a hug before releasing me.
I waited a few seconds until Maggie was no longer in sight, struggling to regain my composure. The last time I’d seen Bryce, he was rejecting me. But tonight’s performance gave an entirely different message.
Where were we at? I was tired of playing games because that’s all we’d done for more than a decade now.
I pushed the door open to find Bryce sitting in my chair behind my desk.
“That’s a bold move. Taking over the boss’s chair,” I said, crossing my arms over my breast and leaning against the door.
Turning his lips down, he replied, “Bold moves are required to get what you want.”
“And what is it that you want, Bryce? Or should I call you, Ryan? Or maybe Bryx.”
Slowly his eyes scanned me from head to toe. “You saw it, didn’t you?”
“Your tv interview with Naira? Yes, I did.”
“And you didn’t call?”
“Bryce, you’re so arrogant. What makes you think that I would just run to your side, calling you and begging you to what? Come back to town? All because you said a few charming words on TV? You didn’t reach out to me personally.”
“I thought that’s what you wanted. For me to acknowledge you before the world,” he said, standing up.
“If that’s what you thought, then you haven’t been listening, Bryce. I wanted you to make up your mind what you wanted. To know for sure that when you chose me, it was with one hundred percent certainty that you wouldn’t be going back. But at the first sign of trouble, that’s what you did. Turned your back on me,” I said.
Bryce sat on the edge of my desk, and I kept my safe distance with my back pressed against the door.
“Is that what you think? That I turned my back on you?”
“You did. Your mom spotted us having sex, and I danced intimately with a stripper—”
“That was no dance!” he growled.
Holding my hands up, I conceded his point. “You’re right; we weren’t dancing. But in all fairness, before you danced with me, you had Seda bent over a couch, and you worked her over like her ass was made of gold. But not once did I make a big deal of it.”
“It was part of the act.”
“And so was what I was doing!” I argued.
Bryce pulled his hands down his face and blew out a long breath. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue with you.”
“Then, why did you come?”
“To tell you the truth...about why I ran.”
I didn’t speak a word. I just lifted my eyebrow and waited.
“I love women, and I love how they make me feel and how they’re created and everything about you all. But I’ve never had an issue with a woman that I’ve had dealings with going on with her life. Never had an issue if I learned she was sleeping with some other dude and not just me. But the night of the party on the island, I had a thought that scared me.”
“What was that?” I asked softly.
“If I found out you were fucking some other dude while we were together, I’d fuck some shit up. And then I had another realization. Even if we weren’t together, I’d still be ready to do some damage.”
“You’ve never been a violent man, Bryce. Fighting only when you had to defend yourself or protect someone you cared about,” I pointed out.
“Exactly. But everything about you, Peyton, makes me want to be a better man while taking me out of my natural element. You bring up things in me that nobody should feel and that scares the hell out of me. That for you...I’m out of control.”
“Bryce, I know what happened.”
“What are you talking about?”
“All those years ago when Kip Stevenson lied to get me secluded with him and those other guys. I know that you and he fought.”
“Who told you?”
“You forgot my mom’s best friend was the chair of the math department at UNC. She told my mom about it, including how she thought your dad paid someone off.”
Scoffing, he shook his head. “My dad wouldn’t do no shit like that.”
“I know that. I know that the semester you worked with the landscaping crew was your punishment, as well as the community service you did consecutively for two months every Saturday. I know that you weren’t going home all those weekends you said you were.”
“You never said anything. Never let on that you knew, Peyton.”
“I figured you had enough guilt without the burden of knowing that I knew. So, I kept my mouth shut. I also know that you almost got kicked out of school over the matter, and that’s why you had to do all of that,” I shared.
“It wouldn’t have happened.”
“We were in our senior year, Bryce. Anything could have happened, and you had this bright future ahead of you. Beating up Kip wasn’t worth you losing all of that over.”
“You were worth it, Peyton.”
I lowered my head, turning it away from his curious glance.
“Damn!” he said. “All this time you’ve lied to me.”
I swiped at the tears framing my lashes.
“That’s the real reason you pushed me away, wasn’t it? Because the shit I got into and not because of me and Jackie, or you meeting Jacob...or the color of our skin.”
“What? You thought that?”
“I wondered that. Because of how people might react to seeing us together, and I always wondered if you were worried about that.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, realizing he’d come to the wrong conclusions. “Have I thought about those things from time to time? Yes. But every time I grew weak and wanted to share my feelings with you, there was something else preventing me from doing it.”
“Then what the hell was it, Peyton?” he asked as he swung his legs off my desk and stood.
I pushed myself off the door and stepped toward him but stopped within a foot of him.
“I realized then how much I meant to you, and I knew that you didn’t care about jeopardizing important stuff when it came to me. A lot of people didn’t want us together. It wasn’t just Jackie that was bothered by our friendship. Almost every girl you hung around had a problem with me being in your life. I couldn’t let you do that, Bryce. I couldn’t let you sacrifice all the important things in your life when it came to me and end up seeing you suffer because of it. Because one day you’d surely regret that you’d done it, and I couldn’t bear the question in yo
ur eyes if one day you sat wondering, ‘what if I’d never met her,’ or ‘what if we’d never gotten involved.’ Those questions would’ve killed me. So, it was easier to push you away out of my life and let you live yours to the fullest. Because that’s how much I love you,” I cried.
“And walking away from it all because it doesn’t mean shit to me without you is how much I love you.”
“What’re you talking about?” I asked as he wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumbs.
“I sold my condo and my car, and I’m renting a little cottage here in Summer Cove, PJ.”
“But why?” I asked, my heart thundering in my chest like a summer thunderstorm.
“I can work anywhere in the world that I want to. It doesn’t matter if I’m in New York, L.A., Atlanta, or right here in Summer Cove. As long as I have a laptop, I can write books. What I cannot do is love you like I want to and have you in my life from those distances. Even if I couldn’t write, I’d give it all up just to have you in my life, girl. You mean that much to me. You always have, and we both wasted too much time playing games to realize it or admit it. Peyton, I love you, and I’m not going any damn where. So, I suggest you get used to it along with the stares, the questions, the second-guessing, and everything else you’ll have to suffer through to be on this rollercoaster ride that I call my life.”
I couldn’t believe he was relocating to Summer Cove after all this time. He’d said he never planned to move back when he’d left for college. And now he was doing this for me?
“Are you sure, Bryce? Because I don’t want you doing this just for—”
Bryce closed his mouth over mine, sucking my lips into his and maneuvering the kiss with the angle of his head as his hands held mine.
Kissing him was like coming home, although I’d never left. It was as if someone had given me a road map and shown me the journey to get me to this place and time. And after I’d taken the trip, I opened my eyes and realized the destination on the map was the space I’d been standing in all along.
His mouth was warm, and the kiss was deep and passionate. Every word he had not spoken to me in this little office and every note he didn’t play on the sax on stage was poured into that kiss. If there’d been any lingering doubt about his love for me, he erased it at that moment.
Undeniable: A Friends To Lovers Romance (Love Desired Book 4) Page 19
