“I remember.”
“Devlin asked you for something?”
“A ring. He’d given it to me for my birthday when we were still dating. He asked for it back and I gave it to him. I knew he wanted it for drug money so there was no point arguing.”
“Exactly what Oscar said.”
“But how does that help? I mean, what good will it do in court?”
“It helps establish a bit of a pattern — how Devlin controlled you, and how he used you to get money for heroin. We needed this — really needed it, and this guy came through for you.”
It’s a ray of hope. I cling to it, knowing how weak our defence is. I take a few days to gather up enough courage, and then I call Oscar.
“Lexie?” he sounds surprised to hear my voice.
“I just wanted to thank you, for going to my lawyer that way.”
“It just seemed like the right thing to do,” he says. “Besides, I know you didn’t do what you’re accused of. It must be pretty awful, going through this.”
“It’s horrible,” I agree, “but this really helps.”
“Good then,” he says. “Well, I have to go. I have, uh, a friend coming over soon and I need to get my algebra done first.”
It doesn’t take much brain power to figure out that the “friend” is his new girlfriend. I wish I could tell Oscar that I know I made a terrible mistake, but it would be awkward, and he might take it the wrong way. So I just tell him thanks again and goodbye.
* * *
Over the next few weeks, Karan goes over and over my testimony with me. He asks me tough, mean questions to prepare me for what the Crown prosecutor will likely ask. We haven’t actually decided if I should take the stand, but with so little in my favour my father thinks I should. Dad believes that if the jury hears my side of the story, they’ll know I’m innocent. I’d like to think he’s right, but things haven’t exactly gone my way lately.
My schoolwork suffers as the date draws closer, but at least I’m sticking it out. My decision to keep going has more to do with needing to be busy than anything else, and I’m glad I haven’t given up. Something has shifted at school. The nasty looks and hurtful comments come less often all the time. I can’t help but wonder if Oscar has been defending me there, too. I suspect he has, but I can’t bring myself to ask him. All I know for sure is that the talk died down after a while, and more and more kids have stepped up to let me know they believe in me. It all helps.
As the trial draws closer, I have trouble sleeping. By the time the date arrives I wonder if my thin, pale appearance will make me look guilty to a jury.
-
Chapter Twenty-Five
We lose the most important battle before the trial even starts. The court has decided that, because the crime is so serious, I will be tried as an adult. When Karan explains that I could get as much as twenty-five years in prison I wonder if we should have made a deal.
The prosecutor speaks first. She describes the crime — a robbery and homicide. Then she tells the jury that the evidence will prove my guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. She talks about what the evidence will be. And, she wraps up her opening remarks by saying that the defence will try to confuse them but that she is counting on them to see through that and find the truth.
All through the first day I sit numbly while witness after witness takes the stand. Evidence is presented from the emergency workers. The police who were first on the scene describe what they saw. There is medical testimony about the victim — where the bullet went in and how she died. Some members of Suzie Quian’s family are there and I hear them sobbing quietly. It is so horrible.
Someone takes the stand to talk about the bullet and the gun. I can’t understand why this has to be discussed. It seems as though some of the jury members are bored by the end of that testimony. Everyone is glad when the judge calls it a day.
My father wants to know why Karan hasn’t asked many questions of the witnesses that day. Karan explains that we are not challenging that a crime was committed, so we don’t need to prove any of that evidence was wrong. We just need to prove that I was not involved in the crime.
I sleep very little that night.
On the second day, two of my co-workers from Subway tell the court that I looked perfectly normal when I left work to join Devlin that day. Not upset, not pressured, just normal. Karan does his best with them. He gets them both to admit that they really don’t know anything about my personal life, which makes it unlikely that I would confide in them about the problem I was dealing with. He also tries to plant the idea that someone who is about to commit a crime probably would look a bit distressed, not calm, as they’ve described me.
Officer Neally is next. Her testimony makes it sound like I kept changing my story, so I come across as a big liar. Karan does his best to swing things around with her, but he makes very little headway.
The most damaging testimony comes from the store clerk. She glares at me the whole time she’s on the stand. Worse than that, some of the things she says are complete lies. I don’t know if she invented them on purpose, or if she’s confused, or if someone put ideas in her head, but it’s bad. She claims that I was smirking when Devlin had the knife to my throat. Even worse, she says that I told Devlin to “stick her” just before he sent the knife flying into her shoulder.
Karan spends a lot of time cross-examining her. He tries every way he can to get her to say it’s possible that I was being forced to be there, but she doesn’t budge an inch.
I’m wondering how much worse it can get when the prosecutor wheels in a television to show the jury the store’s surveillance tape. I watch helplessly as we enter the store. The images aren’t sharp enough to show much expression, but it’s clearly me and Devlin. I see him lean forward as we speak to each other. When he bends his head and kisses me on the cheek I see two of the jury members shake their heads a little.
I have to admit that if I were on the jury, I would vote for a guilty verdict. I wonder if it’s too late to change my plea and take a deal. Karan told me I could probably get off with eight years. It sounded like forever when he said it, but it’s looking pretty good compared to twenty-five.
I’m trying to sort out what to do when Devlin is called to the stand. He strides forward looking determined and almost happy. I guess he feels good about what he’s about to do, which is to make himself look as innocent as he can while he throws me under the bus. I can’t even stand to look at him when he puts his hand on the Bible and swears to tell the truth. Except that, to my utter astonishment, that’s exactly what he does.
It takes a moment or two before it really registers. He’s admitting to everything. He describes how he held my arm behind my back, and how it was his idea and that I had nothing to do with it. He describes our conversation before he kissed my cheek, explaining what was really happening on the videotape. When he gets to the part about the shooting, tears run down his face. He sobs as he tells Suzie Quian’s family how sorry he is for the terrible pain he caused them. And he admits that the statement he gave to the police was all a lie, that he made it up because he was in withdrawal and desperate.
I’m not the only one who’s surprised by Devlin’s testimony. The prosecutor is clearly shocked, although she can’t stop him. Then the judge asks Devlin why he didn’t change his story before now.
“Because,” he says, “I knew this was the only way I could see Lexie, and try to tell her, face-to-face, how truly sorry I am. And to ask her to forgive me. She’s innocent and she shouldn’t even be sitting here today. I’m the one who did it — the only one.”
His face is white and full of sorrow as he looks across the courtroom to where I’m seated. His eyes plead for forgiveness.
I nod, ever so slightly. He has enough of a burden to carry. And now, whatever deal he made is off the table. He will be facin
g the maximum sentence for his crime.
On the other hand, the charges against me are dropped. Suddenly, it’s over and I am free to go.
I am grateful. But I’ve learned something about freedom that goes beyond the matter of where you go and what you eat and wear and so on.
I’ve learned that the biggest part of freedom comes from inside you. From a clean conscience and an honest heart.
And I know that while I may not have planned a robbery or pulled a trigger, I’m not wholly innocent.
I can never forget the months I spent enabling Devlin, or the fact that the words that first put him on this path, came from my mouth.
“It’s nice. Come on, try it.”
Acknowledgements
Hearing from readers is one of my favourite things about being a writer! In recent months, the following young people have taken the time to get in touch: Khalil Barakzai, Ryan Carroll, Erica Chen, Stephanie Cook, Katie Cripps, Kylie Cousins, Tia Dayman, Alexi Despres, Connor Doiron, Maddy Doiron, Kelsey Firkola, Lexie Firkola, Kelsey Goudy, Hayley Greening, Stephanie Hauser, Asa Hickey-Ross, Allison Paige Higgins, Emma Hudson, Chelsea Kenny, Daitan King, Abbie Kingston, Chelsea Lavigne, Colin MacDonald, Chandler McIntyre, Chad Nash, Brayden Pachal, Alyssa Pineau, Sidney Potts, Sephora Reid, Aziz Shafqat, and Hasan Shafqat. Thanks to all of you!
Some of the characters who appear in this story were named by or for students. Thanks go out to Nicole Caguiat, Austin Clarke, Ray Li, Oscar Lee, Karan Paralkar, and Dori Wilner for their contributions.
Accomplice Page 9
