by Ruby Dixon
I do not want you to freak out. I do not want sex if you are just “enduring” my touch. If you go to another place in your mind. I want you there with me. I want your cunt full of your mating juices. I want your mind filled with pleasure. The big head lowers again, and he gazes at me, right in the eye. Those are my demands, my Sasha. You want this sniveling piece of rotten flesh to live? There is nothing you can promise me that will make me want to release him.
Immediately I think, Well, there’s one thing.
His eyes flare a deeper gold. You would do that to save him?
I can feel myself blushing. I’ll do it. At least, I’ll try. But I can’t guarantee I’ll enjoy it.
I demand you enjoy it! The eyes whirl again.
It’s a little absurd that I’m arguing with a dragon over whether or not I should have enjoyable sex. Then you have to make sure it’s good for me before going on, okay? And if it’s not, we stop!
He relaxes a bit at that, and his eyes slide back to that languid gold. I can accept that. You will let me pet you and you promise to enjoy it?
I’ll do my best. How’s that? I’ll try really hard—
And I shall try really hard not to kill this one.
“The claws,” Tate howls as one digs into his back. “Sasha, help me!”
I sigh at Dakh. You’re impossible.
I want a mate in all ways. I want you in all ways.
It might take a few rounds to figure things out, I tell him. Meanwhile, I’m inwardly trying to figure out ways I can enjoy it. Masturbation? Getting really drunk? There has to be an option. Somehow.
I am fine with practicing, Dakh tells me, and his eyes gleam with pleasure. He leans in and nuzzles me with that enormous head of his.
And I feel a little like I traded with the devil…for Tate, of all people. Ugh.
21
SASHA
When Dakh finally lets Tate up, he’s not the least bit grateful.
In fact, he’s kind of a shit.
He picks himself up off the asphalt, straightens his uniform, and then scowls at me like I had something to do with this. “Is this where you’ve been all this time, Sasha? Cavorting with the enemy?”
“Don’t start,” I say, tired. “I was snatched away, just like you. I didn’t choose any of this.”
“I find that hard to believe.” He examines a tear in his sleeve and pulls away fingers wet with blood. The disgust on his face is obvious.
“I just saved your life,” I point out to him. “How about you cool it for a few minutes? We’re taking you back home, all right? This should never have happened, and I’m sorry it did, but I don’t control him. Dakh’s got a mind all his own.”
Tate’s brow furrows as he studies me. He’s very careful not to look over at the dragon nearby, which would almost be funny if the whole situation wasn’t so stressful. “His name is Dakh? Is he the one that’s been attacking the city? The king dragon? I thought Claudia was fooling around with him.”
“There’s more than one dragon that attacks Fort Dallas,” I tell him patiently. “As for Claudia, I don’t know where she’s at or who her dragon is. All I know is this one. And of course he has a name. He’s a person.”
The look Tate gives me is skeptical. “He’s a monster.”
And he is not? Dakh retorts.
Let’s just ignore him, okay? I beg Dakh as he nuzzles my hair again. He’s not worth the effort.
Are you sure I cannot tear him apart?
Tempting, but I’m sure.
Then let us return him to his hive so we can be rid of him and I can go about pleasuring my mate.
Eek. I feel a little apprehension as he tells me that, but I’m going to keep an open mind. If Claudia’s happy with her dragon, surely I can be happy with mine. Maybe I can learn to appreciate sex despite my past with Tate. I’m skeptical but willing to give it a shot. How shall we do this, then, Dakh? I don’t think you should leave me here, just in case you need a translator.
There is a wry note in Dakh’s mental voice. And you do not trust me not to rend him limb from limb.
Well, that too.
Tate’s watching me intently. After a moment, he asks, “Are you talking to the dragon? Telepathically?”
“Maybe,” I respond defensively. “It’s really none of your business.”
“If he kidnapped me, that makes it my business.” His eyes narrow. “Is that how he knew who I was? He’s picking through your thoughts?”
I shake my head, because I don’t want to answer him. I just want him to go away. “Are you ready to fly back?”
“You’re really going to pretend like this isn’t a big deal, Sasha?” Tate raises an eyebrow at me. “You’ve threatened my life, and right now you’re working with the enemy. That’s permanent exile by Fort Dallas standards. If I report you, you’ll be shot on sight if you try to return.”
“Then don’t report me,” I say lightly. “You won’t have a play partner if you do.” All of the whores in Fort Dallas are wise to his predilections.
He will never touch you again, Dakh growls, eyes growing black.
I know, I tell the dragon, but I’m uneasy at what Tate is threatening. Permanent exile from the only city I’m familiar with? The only city for hundreds of miles? The thought’s a terrifying one.
I will be with you, Dakh says. You have nothing to fear.
I nod absently, but he doesn’t really grasp what it means to be exiled. It’s a big step—a terrifying one. I’d have no safety net, no people to fall back upon. What if I run out of supplies? What if I get injured? There are so many what-ifs that Tate’s not-so-subtle threat makes me feel cold inside. “Let’s just get going, all right? Dakh, can you carry us?”
The dragon lowers his head, pushing between me and Tate. His eyes flicker black. There is no “us” with the two of you. You are mine.
“I misspoke,” I murmur. I’m secretly a little pleased he’s so possessive. For once, it feels good to be wanted.
Dakh leans over and casually grabs Tate in his claws, and I have to smother a cruel laugh when Tate’s expression is one of abject terror. I get the fear. I really do. I used to feel like that around Dakh.
You did not wet yourself like this one, the dragon tells me.
Oh my God. Tate peed on himself. My eyes go wide. Now I really want to laugh, but I bite it back. Tate’s a quietly vicious sort, and I don’t want to give him any ammo to use against me.
He will never touch you again, Dakh growls in my head.
Right. Sorry. It’s just taking a bit of getting used to. I think about Tate’s threat—about exile from Fort Dallas. I’m still scared even though Dakh says he’ll take care of me, and we’ve got a store full of goods. What if something happens? If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the After, it’s that everything can change in a heartbeat.
I can still kill him, Dakh offers, and his claws tighten around Tate’s militia uniform. Tate makes an awkward squawking noise and slams a hand against the dragon’s golden scales.
No, we have an agreement.
Yes. An agreement I am much looking forward to. He leans down to gently whuff his breath against my hair.
I feel a prickle of arousal at his words despite my fears. I’m going to try my hardest to enjoy, I tell him. But we’re not doing anything with Tate around. Can you grab me and let’s get going? I lift my good arm, indicating I want to be picked up.
I’m surprised when Dakh grabs me with his other foreleg, his claws gentle compared to the way he’s handling Tate. For some reason I thought I’d have to share space with Tate on the ride over.
Never, Dakh says, and holds me close against his breast as he unfurls his wings. I said he would not touch you again, and I mean it.
I nod absently, watching as the store recedes, and we take off into the air. I’m jerked around a little, but I know Dakh’s trying hard not to fling me about, because this is a much gentler ride than before. I feel a pang of regret that Tate knows where our store is now, because what if he gets a crew
to come out this far and raid? I won’t be able to stop them.
I will, Dakh purrs in my mind. They will take nothing that is yours. But if it will make you feel better, I will circle around the human hive in a different direction to confuse him.
That’s a good idea. Thank you.
Of course, my mate.
I glance over at Tate, and he’s watching me instead of the ground, his eyes narrowed. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m pretty sure it’s nothing good, and it sends a shiver up my spine. The sooner he gets back to Fort Dallas, the better. He’s out of his element right now, and if he’s vicious when he’s confident, I can only imagine what he’s going to be like if he feels cornered. I know Dakh says he’ll keep me safe, but it’s still hard to trust when I’ve known Tate and his ways for a lot longer.
The flight back to Fort Dallas does seem to take forever. We careen about in the skies over and over again, and Dakh definitely seems to be taking the long way back. He also wheels about and does cartwheels to throw Tate about. Since I’m clutched against his chest, I’m a little more protected from being flung about, though my stomach is still queasy at all the loops.
Not too much longer now, my mate. Dakh’s thoughts are comforting. Unless you wish for me to drop him and turn around now…
“No,” I say with a horrified laugh, and regret my outburst when Tate shoots me a dark look. He knows we’re communicating around him, and it’s clear he doesn’t like it. I wonder if I should say something or confront him, but I doubt I’ll get a real answer, not when he’s clutched between a dragon’s claws.
Dakh begins to circle lower, even though the fort itself isn’t in sight yet.
Are we stopping? I ask, curious.
We will not go closer. If I do, the alarms will go off and they will use their fire spitters. They do not hurt me, but you are vulnerable.
Oh. I didn’t think about that, but they would shoot at us for sure. The graze on my hip is proof of that. I see.
The human has two good legs. He can walk the rest of the way.
I manage to keep my response to myself. Tate probably won’t like that, but Tate probably hasn’t liked any of this. I can’t help but shake the feeling that letting Tate go is a bad idea, but how can I let him be casually murdered? Just because he hurt me in the past—and it was a hurting that I agreed to? He’s never approached me otherwise. He’s mean and a sadist, but that isn’t enough to kill someone over.
I hope I’m making the right choice.
Dakh settles gently on the ground and then releases me. I wobble forward, getting my balance. My legs always feel a little bit like butter after we land, no matter how long or short the flight. In the next moment, Dakh drops Tate onto the ground, far less pleasantly than the way he handled me. The soldier lands on the concrete with a mild splat, groans, and slowly picks himself up.
Dakh, naughty boy.
I am not killing him. That does not mean I have to like him.
I bite back my smile even as I move to offer Tate a hand up. He gives me a scathing look and pushes off the ground, battered and bruised. There’s blood in the rents on his uniform, and I’m sure when he goes back and tells the others, it’ll be all about how he fought the dragon valiantly rather than the fact that he pissed himself.
“I don’t want your help,” Tate snaps at me as he straightens. “You’ve got one last chance, Sasha. You can return with me to Fort Dallas and share your intel.”
“Share my intel?” I echo, baffled. “What are you talking about?”
He glances up at Dakh, who’s hovering protectively nearby, and takes a step farther away. “I mean exactly that,” Tate hisses. “You’ve been living with this thing for days now. You already know more about him than the rest of us. His strengths, his weaknesses, how you get him to communicate, everything.”
I feel my cheeks turning red. If he found out how the mind link was established…yeah, no. “Dakh’s not a bad guy, Tate. They’re victims of the Rift just as much as we are. Being here makes them crazy, I think. He’s better now that he’s linked with me.”
“Then come back and share what you know, Sasha. I am sure the new mayor will be quite interested to hear what you have to say.”
New mayor? I want to ask what happened to the old one, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not going back to Fort Dallas right away. Not after I’ve promised Dakh we’d have sex again in exchange for Tate’s life. “I can’t. I made a promise.”
His lip curls. “You know I have no choice but to tell them that you’re whoring for a dragon. You’re a traitor to your own kind, filth.”
Even though I know Tate’s just trying to hurt me, I still recoil at his harsh words. Whoring was the one thing I never wanted to do, and yet he’s right. In a way, I’ve been selling myself out to everyone for safety. It hurts, mostly because it’s true. But I’ve never thought of myself as a traitor.
The air suddenly smells like smoke. Dakh’s big head lowers, and his eyes are completely black. Tate takes a step backward even as Dakh takes another step forward, and it’s clear the dragon’s about to lose his mind.
“Dakh,” I whisper, putting a hand on him. “Don’t, okay?”
He is going to die. He hurt you with his words.
“He’s doing it on purpose because he’s a little bitch,” I say aloud, giving Tate a deliberate look. “He’s not worth it. And I don’t want you picking him out of your teeth.”
Tate’s pale face flushes, and he sneers at me, obviously sensing that he’s safe. “If you’re smart, you’ll never show your face in Fort Dallas again.”
“I guess I won’t,” I say, keeping my voice calm. I stroke Dakh’s scales. Like it or not, it seems I’ve made a decision. I’m a little terrified of what it means, but I won’t worry about it right now. In this moment, I need all of my strength to make Dakh uphold his end of the promise and not eat Tate. The dragon’s thoughts are black, and I’m getting the image of ravens again, which means he’s hanging on by a thread. “You might want to go before he loses control,” I tell Tate, and stroke Dakh’s scales again. “I don’t know how much longer he’s going to hold out.”
Tate blinks and then turns and runs, heading to the south and in the opposite direction of the fort.
I don’t correct him. Let him get lost for a few hours. Asshole.
Dakh’s muscles bunch in his shoulders, as if he wants to go after Tate. I keep my hand on him and lean in and press a light kiss to the scales on his cheek. “Remember what you promised,” I murmur.
I remember, Dakh tells me, his thoughts murky. He’s struggling.
Tate’s not worth it, I repeat, continuing to stroke at his scales. His threats are empty. So I’m exiled from Fort Dallas? I would have been anyhow, because I would never tell them about you. And I had nothing left there, anyhow. Not if Claudia and Amy are gone. I don’t want to go back to a life of starving…or worse. I let my fingers trail down his nose. You said you’d protect me, remember?
The glittering eyes focus on me. Gold flashes in them, albeit briefly. I remember.
Then let’s leave here, okay? You need a distraction, and staying here isn’t good for you. I give him a smile. I can feel your thoughts and how tangled they are at the moment.
They get better the more you talk. His thoughts are halting, but he’s right, they’re clearer. He gently scoops me up in his claws again and brings me to his scaled breast. You are right. This place is not good for me, or for you. And you have promised to mate with me again.
“I did promise that,” I say faintly. My heart’s fluttering at the thought. I don’t know why I’m panicking. I’ve had sex before. I’ve had lots of sex. It’s just that this is sex where I need to do more than expected.
I need to enjoy myself.
It’s the most ridiculous problem, and yet…
Dakh takes to the air. I’m not paying much attention to where we’re going until I notice that he’s heading directly for one of the tall skyscrapers in the remains of Old Dallas. Surpri
sed, I watch as we move in on the old building. I know this place. It’s where he first kept me when he stole me.
A little flutter of alarm moves through me. We’re stopping here? We’re not going back to the store?
The dragon sets down on the ledge and carefully puts me on my feet. I can feel his thoughts, still murky and touched with chaos. Too far away, he tells me. I am filled with too much anger. The dark eyes focus on me. I want to return to the human hive and burn it to the ground.
No, you don’t, I soothe. That’s not you. That’s the madness you talked about. It’s trying to get you to do bad things.
How do you know it’s not me? I do not remember who I was.
You’ve been nothing but kind to me. If you were truly that cruel and uncaring, you wouldn’t be so careful with me. You wouldn’t care what I thought about sex. You’d just touch me and take what you wanted.
Like that human did? His eyes go pitch black.
Oh God. Just thinking about Tate is making him nuts. I need to get him back to himself. And I really only know one way that’s a surefire method. Are we here because you wanted to have sex? I keep the fear out of my thoughts.
Dakh’s attention rivets on me. His thoughts are sharp and pure, like a burst of light. Only if you want it.
I bite my lip. You have to make me want it, remember? I need your help.
And his eyes gleam with gold. I remember. And I will help.
22
DAKH
My mate stares up at me with big eyes.
I can see her quivering as she stands before me, small but proud. Her scent is mixed—there’s a hint of fear in it, but also a hint of arousal, which is encouraging. Her thoughts are as chaotic as my own, and my concern for her allows me to stop and pick through them, trying to understand. She worries over me. She still hurts from the human’s words. And she is anxious over the thought of mating with me once more.
Such strange foolishness, this worry. I shift to my two-legged form and approach her. When I am this size, she is still small, but now I can hold her properly. I pull her against me and cup her face in my hands. Why are you afraid? Do you not like this place?
