by Lee Savino
“You haven’t seen your parents in seven months. Do you miss them?”
I have no idea how to answer that question. My relationship with my parents was complicated. Every time I talked to them, I always left the conversation feeling angry, resentful, and underneath it all, inadequate. They knew how to push every one of my buttons. “They’re not the greatest parents in the world,” I say finally. I don’t know why I’m telling Ruhan any of this. “My father is a workaholic, and my mother is addicted to white wine and Botox. They dote on my brother, the child who can do no wrong. I was the afterthought. It was a hard way to grow up.”
Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I thought that it was my fault. Maybe they’d love me if I got better grades. If I played sports. If I read less, if I helped out more around the house…
Eighteen years of if-onlys, and nothing ever changed. Trey got money for college; there was none for me. I took out student loans that my father refused to co-sign for. “You’re wasting your time with this teaching thing,” he’d said bluntly. “Find a real job.”
The red circle blurs. I blink away the sheen of tears. Stop thinking about them, Lani. It is what it is. Stop wishing things had been different. “What were your parents like?”
I turn my head toward him as I ask the question. His shoulders stiffen fractionally, and then he looks away. “My past is complicated.”
The shuttle breaks through the thick indigo cloud layer. Lost in our conversation, I hadn’t realized how close we were to landing. The ground below us is flat and black, and we’re speeding toward it, too fast, way too fast. I clamp my left hand over my mouth to keep from shrieking. My right hand, I keep on the trackpad. I’m terrified, but I have no time to dwell on my fear.
Ruhan fights to keep the shuttle level. Explosions rock our craft. My harness snaps, and I’m thrown sideways. Before my head can collide against the alien’s seat, he yanks me upright. “Blue, some help here,” he orders.
The spider scurries over, its legs clacking on the floor. I whimper as it nears, and Ruhan’s hand squeezes mine. “He’s not going to hurt you, Lani,” he says gently. “He’s going to make you a new harness.”
Sure. The spider bot is going to spin its web around me. I close my eyes and try not to remember that scene in the Lord of the Rings where the massive spider encased Frodo in a cocoon for later eating. Ruhan is still holding my hand. His touch is warm, and once again, it eases my fear.
We’re going to land soon. He probably needs both his hands for that. I pull my hand free from his. “I’m okay.” My cheeks feel hot and flushed. “I’m just scared of spiders.”
He probably has no idea what spiders are. Unless they have spiders in Zoraht, in which case I’m almost glad I didn’t make it there. Have I mentioned I’m not the greatest flyer in the world? Back on Earth, whenever I went somewhere, I spent the entire take-off and landing with my nails digging into my palms. And that was a plane, not a dusty tin-can shuttle with a hole in its side.
The thrusters flare. A metal screeching fills the shuttle. “Landing gear,” Ruhan explains. The ground gets closer and closer, and I clench my eyes shut and reach for Ruhan’s hand again. He probably thinks I’m an idiot, but I don’t care.
“Lani.” He doesn’t sound like he’s laughing. His fingers caress my cheek, and his thumb ghosts over my lower lip. I open my eyes a crack, and he’s right next to me, his lips a mere inch from mine. “We’re here. Welcome to Nestri.”
It takes a second for his words to sink in. “We landed? But I didn’t feel anything.”
He winks at me. Again. “What’d I tell you, lovely Lani? I’m good at what I do.”
Oh God. I’m alive. I’m actually alive. I can’t quite believe it. I beam at him, intense relief shuddering through me. “You know something? You really are.”
We get out of the shuttle. Nestri’s safe to breathe in, Ruhan tells me, so while he’s hauling the stasis units out of the cargo hold, I look around.
We appear to have landed in the middle of nowhere. Every direction I turn, all I can see is black sand. Thankfully, it isn’t blazing hot. The sun beats down on us, but a pleasant breeze keeps things cool.
Desert. Shit. A thought strikes me. “Do we have any water?”
“There’s an AWG somewhere,” Ruhan says absently. He loads Mardex into a stasis unit, locks it in place, and then he looks up. “Over there, I think,” he says, waving to a pile of gadgets.
None of those gadgets look like water. “What’s an AWG?”
He comes over. “Atmospheric water generator.” He rummages through the pile and pulls out a box the size of a pack of cards. “Hold it over your mouth and press down for water.”
That’s a lot better than hauling gallons and gallons of water around. Yay for advanced technology. “What’s the plan?” I ask him.
He looks frustrated. “I put Mardex into stasis,” he says. “He’s Draekon, which makes him harder to kill than a Zorahn, but he still needs a healer. There’s a town in that direction.” He points to his left. “It’s almost nightfall. Tomorrow morning, I’ll put you in stasis as well, and then hike there and get help.”
Fear stabs me. “Please don’t put me in stasis, Ruhan,” I beg. The only other time I was in stasis didn’t exactly go well. When they brought me out of it, I discovered that instead of landing in Zoraht, I was being auctioned off as a lab specimen for two mad scientists. The rational part of me knows that this time around is likely to be very different, but nonetheless, I have no desire to repeat the experience.
He fixes me with a probing look. He must see the terror I’m trying to hide. “Okay,” he says agreeably. “You can hike with me. It’s not too far. Once we reach civilization, we’ll get ourselves a skimmer, heal Mardex, and then head to the nearest spaceport. From there, Hokatir, where my ship is, and then to the Rebellion.”
Then what? Can I return to Earth? Ruhan hasn’t said, and I don’t want to ask, because I can already guess what the answer is. It’s been seven months. By now, the authorities have probably declared us dead.
And what about Ruhan? He’d said to Mardex that he didn’t work for the Rebellion. Finding me was a one-time job. What will he do once he drops me off? Will I ever see him again?
Thinking about these things makes me feel restless and discombobulated. “How do you know there’s a town in that direction?”
He indicates his tablet. “I have basic comms,” he says. “I could broadcast a distress signal, and someone would come along to investigate. However, the planetary defenses shot at an unarmed escape pod. I don’t know what’s going on in Nestri, and until I find out, I don’t want to take any chances.”
That seems smart.
“But that’s tomorrow. For tonight, we make camp.” He pulls a tent out from the ship and starts setting it up. “The temperature drops overnight,” he says. “It’s going to get cold. The tent is better insulated than the shuttle.”
My brain short-circuits. Mardex is in stasis. It’s just Ruhan and me. And the spider bot, I guess, but in this context, Blue doesn’t count.
It’s a very small tent.
We’re going to be alone.
In the middle of nowhere.
And I’ve spent most of the last hour fantasizing about him.
This is going to be a problem.
10
Ruhan
Five tents, each large enough to sleep two people, and only one of them isn’t torn and tattered. Fucking pirates. Don’t they know how to maintain their equipment?
The tent has a slit in it. Yeah, that’s not going to work. We’re in the middle of the Indigo Prairie. At night, the temperature plunges to just above freezing. I’ll survive. It won’t be comfortable, but I’ve experienced worse conditions. Lani, on the other hand, is small and soft and fragile. When our shuttle had depressurized, her face had turned blue, and her teeth had chattered uncontrollably. I don’t want her to get cold.
She’s due—overdue—for a good night’s rest. I’m not doin
g great with this rescue plan—a crash landing in Nestri wasn’t how I wanted things to go—but I can at least provide her adequate shelter.
After fixing the hole in the hull, Blue’s microfilament reserves are running low, but this is a very small tear. I whistle for the techbot, and he scurries over, notices the tear, and fixes it. Then he goes back to the shuttle, draping himself over Mardex’s stasis unit.
Lani’s eyes follow Blue. “Will the weather bother him?” she asks. “If it’s going to get cold, then maybe he should be in the tent too?”
She’s a good person, Lani. She’s afraid of Blue, and I’m sure her first preference is not to share a small tent with him, but despite that, she voiced her concern. Olivia Bucknell told us that none of the human women chosen to travel to the Homeworld had been mated. Looking at Lani now, I decide that all human men must be fools.
“I thought you were terrified of him,” I tease. “Are you warming up to Blue, then?”
She shudders. “I know he’s not a spider,” she says. “Unfortunately, when I see his legs move over the ground, all rational thought flees my brain.” She makes an adorable face, scrunching up her nose and wrinkling her eyes. “But Blue saved my life, so putting my phobia on hold seems the least I can do.”
“He’ll be fine in the shuttle; he’s unaffected by the cold.” I give her a mock-affronted look. “Also, what do you mean, Blue saved your life? I’d like to think I had something to do with it. An Okaki escape pod, on reserve fuel, with a hole in our hull, and my landing was still so smooth you didn’t even know we’d touched down.” I smirk in her direction. “I’ll take applause now.”
“It was an amazingly smooth landing,” she concedes. “But technically, you didn’t land with a hole in the hull.” Her smile widens. “Because Blue had already fixed it.”
She looks pleased with herself. Chuckling at her reaction, I haul bedding from the escape pod’s storage hold and set it up inside the tent. When I’m done, I open the flap for her. The sun is setting. Dusk encroaches swiftly, and the air is starting to cool. “It’s all yours.”
Her head snaps up. “Where are you going to sleep?”
I gesture toward the shuttle.
She bites her lower lip. “Would it be okay if you slept in the tent?” she asks tentatively. “I mean, if it’s not going to be a problem.”
She doesn’t want to be alone. After her experiences in the last seven months, I don’t blame her in the slightest. “I’ll be happy to. Why would it be a problem?”
Her cheeks go pink. It’s fascinating how her skin changes color when she’s embarrassed. At least, I’m assuming she’s embarrassed since she’s refusing to look at me. “Umm, it’s not for sex.” She swallows. “I just don’t want to be alone.” Her gaze stays fixed on the sand. “I don’t know if you expect me to…”
Oh, Ruhan, you fucking idiot. I can practically hear Fifth’s disapproving voice in my head. This is why you don’t make flippant comments. I run my hands through my hair. “That was just a stupid joke,” I murmur. “I’m sorry. I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intent.”
She looks up. “You don’t want to sleep with me?”
Caeron help me. How do I end up in these situations? I don’t know how to answer. Would it make her more comfortable if I lie and tell her I don’t want her?
Except I do.
Lani’s not wearing anything particularly alluring. Her shirt is long, covering her hips and her ass. Her sleeves cover her arms. Her pants are plain and serviceable.
And yet…
And yet, I want her like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. My entire self—dragon and man—craves the human woman. The need is so powerful it shocks me. I don’t know how to explain it; I don’t even understand it.
Then there was the flash of anger I’d felt when Lani had begged me not to put her in stasis. Her fear had filled me with red hot rage. I’d wanted to go back in time, bring the scientists that tortured Lani back to life, and kill them all over again. Slowly and painfully.
Machines are easy. People are complicated. I wish I knew how to answer her. Second—Kadir —can read people’s emotions. That’d be a pretty useful skill right about now.
I settle for the truth. “I’m extremely attracted to you, Lani. I told you earlier that I wanted to sleep with you. I wasn’t lying.” I shrug my shoulders. “If you feel the same way, and if you’re interested in exploring this thing, I’d be delighted. But you’re not obligated to want me. I’ve been rejected before, and I’ve managed to console myself.” I give her a teasing look. “If you want to use me as a pillow, I’m fine with that too.”
“You’re not flabby enough to make a good pillow,” she replies, a small smile playing about her lips. “As I’m sure you know, so stop fishing for compliments.” She yawns widely. “I don’t really know what I want.”
My cock jumps to attention at the slightest possibility of sex. I think quelling thoughts in its direction. Lani hasn’t had an untroubled night’s sleep in seven months. Unless she says otherwise, I’m going to assume that what she really needs is rest.
We get into the tent. She sits down on the mattress and makes room for me. I sink down next to her. “It’s not warm, is it?” she asks, hugging her arms around herself.
“Are you cold?” I rummage through my pack for a heat stick and break it apart. Warmth quickly fills the small tent. “Hungry?” I ask, pulling out some field rations. I flip the activation tab on a bowl of stew, and when it’s ready, I hand it to her. She takes it from me with a dubious look.
“It’s human-tested,” I reassure her.
“Oh, okay.” She sniffs at it cautiously, and then she digs in. “This is really good. Thank you again, Ruhan.” Her smile turns mischievous. “Chocolate and a hot meal? A girl could get used to this.”
I eat a bowl too. It’s dark outside now. The wind picks up, and sand batters the sides of the tent. Lani shudders. “I’m glad I’m not out there.”
She can barely keep her eyes open. “Bed?” I suggest. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite.”
“Unless I ask, right?” She gives me another teasing smile. “I’m sorry I said mean things about you earlier.”
I mentally run through our conversation. “You didn’t say mean things about me.”
“I didn’t?” She sounds surprised. “I certainly thought them.”
I laugh out loud. She lies down, and I turn off the light and settle next to her. She snuggles into my body, and I wrap my arms around her, spooning her. “You’re really warm,” she mumbles. “This is nice.”
“Mmm.” She feels more than right in my arms. She feels perfect, and I never want to let her go. “Go to sleep, Lani.”
She’s quiet for a long while. Her breathing evens out, but she’s still awake. Finally, she squirms in my arms. “I can’t sleep,” she grumbles.
“Are you too hot?” I let her go, but she doesn’t move away.
“No, my brain just won’t quiet down.” She shrugs in the darkness. “It happens. It used to happen back home too.”
“What did you do to relax?”
She squirms again. “All kinds of stuff,” she mutters.
“Like what?”
She buries her face in the crook of my arm. “I used to touch myself, okay? An orgasm was great stress relief.”
Caeron save me. The thought of Lani touching herself, her blue eyes hazy with lust, her hand between her soft thighs… a flash of pure heat goes through me. I muffle a groan. My cock hardens, and pressed up against her as I am, she can hardly miss it.
For a heartbeat, I wonder if she’s going to try and pretend her words didn’t have a reaction on me. But once again, Lani surprises me. “That answers the question of whether the Zorahn have cocks.”
“I do have a cock,” I agree, laughter threading through my voice. “Just the one. Feel free to explore. Or touch yourself, if that’s what you’d prefer.”
She appears to consider the idea. “Can you see in the dark?”
&
nbsp; “Passably well. Better than humans.”
“In that case, that’s a hard no to the touching and to the exploring.”
She still hasn’t pulled away, and she hasn’t stiffened. She’s relaxed in my arms, snuggled into me. “I was merely concerned on your behalf,” I lie shamelessly. “I’m watching out for your wellbeing. I wouldn’t want you to not be rested.”
“Yeah, I believe that,” she quips. “Your concern is truly touching.”
Lying here, in the dark, bantering with a woman I barely know—it’s nice. I feel comfortable with her. At ease. I want Lani, of course I do. But I’m also just enjoying talking with her. Laughing with her.
“Tell me something about yourself, Ruhan.”
I stiffen. “About myself?”
“Mmm. Something real. You know a bunch of things about me, and I know nothing about you.”
Mardex is in stasis. He can’t overhear us. There’s no need to hide things from Lani. Yet my first instinct is to keep silent and say nothing.
But Lani is not from the High Empire. She isn’t Zorahn. She will not care about blood purity, but what happens when she finds out I wasn’t born but instead made in a lab? I was grown from an embryo that the scientists genetically altered to create the first Draekons. Will that repulse her? Will she see me as an uncontrolled beast, like most in the Rebellion do?
The thought of Lani pulling away from me in fear and disgust freezes the words in my throat.
She wanted something real. I don’t want to relive the past, but I can talk about what’s on my mind right now. “I have four brothers,” I say. “We’re brothers by choice. Our bond is tighter than blood.” In the dark, the words tumble out. “We had a pretty rough upbringing. Our handlers demanded complete obedience from us and punished us if we didn’t comply.”
