by Lexie Davis
“I don’t know what we are.” Luna glanced over at her friend. “Danny suggested it and I got mad at him. Then he went down on me in the kitchen, and Julian was standing in the doorway watching. I had an intense orgasm, and the idea didn’t seem so horrible. Now, I can’t get enough of the two. It’s like I’m a sudden nympho.”
A woman walked by giving them a curious glance. Misty smiled at Luna. “There’s nothing wrong with a little pleasure. Do the two men get along?”
“Yeah.” She searched through the printed T-shirts. “They’re doing manly bonding today, whatever that means. Zane loves him.” She thought about the way her son had reacted to him from day one. “I’m scared that if this is a temporary thing, my son’s heart is going to be crushed.”
Misty turned the corner of the aisle. “I hope that’s not the case.”
The women took a break from shopping to eat lunch at a nearby restaurant. It was a good thing that she pulled an extra shift considering the prices of the meal she had to buy. The food was good though, so she didn’t want to complain. It was a rare occurrence that she spent any money on herself. It may not be a fancy purse or a pair of shoes, but she could splurge on a meal.
“I need to go to the toy store,” Luna commented to the women.
London and Katy both arched an eyebrow.
“Not that kind of toy store. I need to see if I can find Zane a fire truck.”
“I thought you wanted to get Julian and Danny some toys to play with this Christmas.” London smiled at her. “I’m game for helping you pick them out.”
Luna didn’t know what to say. Should she buy something like that? Easing back into having a sex life had been wild and adventurous on its own. It felt nice to have that part of her life again.
“Quit scaring Luna,” Misty scolded.
“There is nothing wrong with toys in the bedroom.” Katy lifted the check and stuffed her card in the holder. “Lunch is on me. We can go to the real toy store for fire trucks and then to the adult toy store for some late-night mommy-kissing-Santa kind of stuff.”
They spent the afternoon scouring the toy store for the fire truck she wanted for Zane. The toy store had it, but it was too expensive. So Luna searched for something else for him to open on Christmas morning. She hated it because it was the perfect gift, but it was stupid to pay so much for a toy. She bought a play mat with a fire truck theme instead. And after they left that store, Katy wasn’t joking about visiting the adult toy store, too.
“Stop acting like you’re a virgin.” Katy grabbed Luna’s hand and led her to the back of the store. “You’ve used this stuff before. At least some of it.”
Luna walked around the store with the giggling group of women as they searched through the vast array of toys. Somewhere in the midst of the anal bead aisle, her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” Danny’s voice filled her ear. “I got a message from the bank today saying that we’re past due on our mortgage.”
“What?” She moved away from the commotion. “I paid it online.”
“I checked. There’s no payment.”
Luna ran her fingers through her hair. “Do we have the money?”
“I used my check.”
“I’ll take on another shift at the store.” Alisha overheard her conversation, and Luna turned her back. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you about this later.”
“You okay?” Alisha asked.
“Yeah.” Luna smiled. “Everything is fine.”
By the time Luna finally made it back to Lucky, she wasn’t really in the mood to wrap gifts at London’s house. The girls wanted to continue their day together well into the night, and she made an excuse to leave.
“I’m sure Danny and Julian are taking good care of Zane,” London commented.
Luna put her one bag in the back of her car. “I don’t get to spend much time with him though, and I really need to take all the opportunities I can get.”
Without much protest, she finally left London’s house and drove to her own. She’d spent a mere twenty dollars while shopping with the girls, and even that felt like too much. How did she forget to pay the mortgage? She knew their finances were stretched thin since they lost Tom’s income, but she didn’t realize how bad until she couldn’t buy basic necessities without checking her bank account first.
She parked in the drive, noticing Julian’s SUV. How the hell did she even try to process him in their lives? They were too old for a fuck buddy. She had a son to think about, and no matter how many times she thought they were moving a step forward, they fell four steps back.
Luna gripped the steering wheel as tears rolled down her cheeks. She wanted to pretend she was happy. The women talked about their plans for the holidays and how everyone was gathering at Misty’s house. They talked about the gifts they got their men and the requests they made of them. Christmas was supposed to be happy, but she felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest.
Knuckles tapped on the window, and Luna glanced to the side. Julian waved at her, and she opened the door.
“You need help with your bags?”
Luna snorted. “No. I can carry it.”
She got out of the car and grabbed the one bag she had and her purse. Julian glanced down at the bag then back at her.
“You went shopping all day and you only got something from the toy store?” Julian took the bag and looked in it.
Luna glanced to the side as more tears streamed down her face. “That was all I could afford.”
Julian sat the bag on the top of the car. “Come here.”
He wrapped his arms around her, and Luna closed her eyes, breathing him in. She needed his comfort. She was tired of doing everything on her own. Danny helped her beyond measure, but it still felt like the world was crashing in on them. Their relationship was like a three-legged table. One leg was missing and they still functioned, but it wasn’t to the best capacity.
“Tell me what’s going on.” Julian pulled back slightly to lift her chin so he could stare into her eyes.
“I don’t know. I’ve dealt with grieving. And on top of all that, there’s the absence in the dynamic of my relationship with Danny. The missing income from Tom working.” She paused. “I’m tired of sounding pathetic. I’m really trying not to be, but I really don’t know how to keep my head above water right now. I thought I paid our mortgage and I didn’t. Danny ended up using his check, which is basically the full amount. I’m going to ask for another shift at the store, but it’ll have to be early morning and I will basically be away for twelve hours. I don’t see Zane as it is.”
She pulled away from him. “And then there is Christmas. This stupid fucking holiday keeps reminding me of how shitty everything in my life is right now. I can’t buy presents for anyone. I miss Tom. I want Zane to have a good time, and I know he’d love that stupid fucking toy, but I can’t get it.” She reached for the bag. “I know it’s not about the gifts, but we don’t splurge. We don’t give him everything he wants. He doesn’t really go shopping with us, but he sees toys advertised on TV. I want him to be a normal kid.”
“He is a normal kid.” Julian kissed her forehead. “And you’re doing a good job, Luna. Take a deep breath.”
He gripped her shoulders. “I’ll tell you a secret.” He glanced around before meeting her gaze. “I hate Christmas, too. I didn’t have family. I busied myself with my work to avoid feeling left out. My friend Micah usually took pity on me. We spent Christmas together for many of the past ten years. He’s out of town right now and he’ll never admit it, but I think he pawned me off on Rowdy so I wouldn’t be alone. I never really had anyone to buy gifts for aside from those two assholes, but I don’t know, maybe things have changed this year.”
“I didn’t tell you this for you to feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you.” Julian pulled her to him, kissing her lips. “I think you’re amazing. Danny and Zane are pretty awesome, too.”
“You don
’t know me that well.” Luna snorted. “Give it time.”
Julian kissed her cheek repeatedly. “I think I know you well enough to determine that.” He held her close for a moment before letting her go. “Hold your head up, buttercup. You’re doing a good job even if it doesn’t feel like it. And if you want to bitch about the world, I’m happy to lend an ear or shoulder. I have plenty of my own stories to contribute if you want to hear them. I like talking to you, regardless.”
She smiled at him. “I like talking to you, too.”
Something about him did make her feel better. She knew she’d have the same talk with Danny later and they’d come up with a plan for their finances, but it felt nice if for just one second, someone else thought she was doing a good job.
* * * *
“Ah, fuck.” Danny took the shot and missed. With Luna home and in a mood, he and Julian had decided to go to the Pattons’ house to use their pool table. He reached for his beer and lifted it to his lips. “Where is Zane when you need him? He’d grab the ball and throw it into the pocket for me.”
Julian grinned. “Pool is not your sport.”
He took his shot and knocked one in. He took another shot and knocked another in. Danny watched, not amused.
“Is there anything you’re not good at?”
“Probably.” He angled the ball toward the black eight ball. “I’d have to think real hard about it though. Eight ball corner pocket.”
He took the shot and won the game. Danny shook his head and set the pool stick on the table. Luna spent most of the night with Zane, clearly coming back from her trip in a bad mood. Danny hoped that some time with the girls would make her happy, but Luna being happy was fleeting.
“So how are you dealing with things after Tom’s death?” Julian asked.
Danny shrugged. “It’s difficult for all of us. Tom was better at managing Luna’s emotions. I used to laugh at him every time her period came around. He’d buy a tub of ice cream, pull out her favorite movies, and draw her a bubble bath. He always said he didn’t want to take any chances at making her mad.”
Danny smiled at the memory.
“Stuff like that I miss. I love her beyond measure, but there are things I don’t know how to deal with. I can’t soothe the loss of Tom for her any more than I can for Zane. Our relationship basically became nonexistent. The first time we had sex was just a few days ago. She didn’t want me to touch her or hug her. I thought she’d lean on me, but she pulled away. We basically became roommates. I thought we were headed toward splitting up.”
Julian drank from his beer. “She’s got a lot of pressure on her. I think Tom’s missing income bothers her, too.”
“It bothers both of us. We were pretty organized financially. My check paid for certain bills. Her check paid for certain bills. His paid for what was left over, and then we put the rest in savings. Now my check pays for the big bills since I make more than her. Her check covers what is left, and maybe we’re not in the red at the end of the month. She picks up extra shifts all the time to make up for some of the loss, but I think I need to find something else I can do when I’m not teaching.”
“Is there a job market in Lucky?”
“Not really. I work for the school system in the next county. There’s a few little odds-and-ends jobs. Several of my students need a tutor, so I think I’m going to start pulling some extra hours with that. It creates a problem with Zane, though, since I take care of him after school. He stays in the district daycare so I don’t have to pay for childcare, but I don’t know what we’re going to do if I take on a few hours of tutoring.”
Danny thought about asking Misty to babysit. He wasn’t sure she’d be up for that though. It took a lot from someone to take care of another person’s kid. Plus, Luna didn’t like the idea of someone else raising their kid. They’d had a tag team when Tom was alive. Luna kept Zane most of the time, but if she couldn’t, he or Tom would pick up the slack. With it just being the two of them, it made things more difficult.
Julian’s phone rang, and he paused to answer it. “Hello?”
Danny glanced over at Killian came toward them. “How badly did he kick your ass?”
“I think I only got one striped ball in.”
Killian laughed. “London wanted me to ask you what Luna wants for Christmas. She’s got my fucking living room covered in girl crap. She claims she’s wrapping gifts for her friends, but we both know that’s a lie.”
“I have no idea. Why didn’t she ask her while they were together?”
Killian leaned against the table. “Because. That’s not the way women work. Women want men to get involved when we don’t want to be involved. It’s some kind of fucking voodoo power they have over us.”
“I heard that.” London came around the corner. Killian jerked his attention to her and sheepishly smiled. “I’m going to use my voodoo powers to get you to fold the laundry.”
Killian groaned and London kissed him. Before any more could be said, Julian hung up his phone.
“Guys, I have to go. I have a problem with a development in Dallas, and I need to take care of it.” He walked around the pool table. “Will you tell Luna for me?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Danny lifted his beer. “Are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.” Julian left the basement without another word.
Both Killian and London stared at him.
“Back to Luna,” London commented. “Is she doing okay? We went shopping, and she acted like she’d rather be anywhere else. We even stopped at a sex toy store and were joking around with her, and she didn’t give us anything.”
“You stopped at a sex toy store?” Killian asked. “What did you get?”
“Not the point, Killian.” London focused on Danny. “I’m worried about her. Is there anything I can do? I’m not sure if she wants space or if she needs friends. Misty seems to think she needs friends, but she didn’t seem all that enthused with hanging out with us.”
“She needs friends.” Danny swallowed hard. “Don’t ever think she doesn’t. She pushes everyone away, including me. You just have to stick to her.”
“She seems so unhappy. Is this still about Tom’s death? Or is something else going on?”
Danny shook his head. “She’s struggling with Christmas. Finances are tight. She wants an expensive toy for Zane. She misses Tom. It’s all of that rolled into one.”
London propped her arm on Killian’s shoulder. “Do you need money? You know we’d help you guys out. No questions asked.”
“No. We’re okay. It’s just adjusting to losing Tom’s income.” He blew out a breath. “It sucks not having that check coming in every week.”
“If you need anything, let me know.” London held his gaze. “I mean it. Don’t be prideful. We’re friends. It’s what friends do.”
Danny nodded. “I appreciate that. I really do.”
“We’re going to make Christmas great for her. I don’t care if I have to tie her down and force her to be happy.” London moved away from Killian. “Get your ass upstairs and help me.”
Killian rolled his eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”
Danny laughed. The women of Lucky were batshit crazy, but he loved them.
Chapter Five
After dealing with his crisis that turned out to not really be a crisis, Julian was ready for some sleep in his bed. He traveled from Dallas to Austin for the night and didn’t realize how much he missed the simple things in life. He stripped and climbed in the soft sheets, sinking into the mattress. Luna had been on his mind all day. He wanted to do something special for her, Danny, and Zane. He understood the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. When he first got out of the system, he lived that way himself.
Pulling out his phone, he dialed Danny’s number. “Hey, don’t tell Luna you’re talking to me.”
“Okay.”
“Will she be mad if I buy Zane the fire truck she wants to get him?”
“I don’t know. You want to do that?”
&nbs
p; “I think it’ll make two people happy, so yeah.”
“Make that three people.”
Julian smiled. “Okay, three. Even better.”
“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s a lot of money.”
“You didn’t ask. And it’s a gift from Santa. I’ll buy him pajamas or something from me.”
“Yeah. Okay. If that’s what you want to do.”
“It is.” Julian stared at the ceiling in his darkened room. “I also want to get her something. What price range will piss her off?”
Danny chuckled. “Any, probably.”
“I figured that.” Julian rubbed his eyes. “I’ll deal with it, I suppose. I already know what I’m getting your sorry ass.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“A book on how to play pool.”
“Fuck you.” Danny laughed. “Are you coming back to Lucky?”
“Yes. Tomorrow.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
They disconnected and Julian smiled to himself. Christmas with Luna, Danny, and Zane was exactly what he wanted.
The next day, Julian found himself in the mad rush before Christmas. He was definitely a last-minute shopper and he didn’t know what the hell he was looking for. The toy store he went to was sold out, so he went to another toy store in Austin. It was sold out, too. So he went to another store. It took him four tries to find the fire truck, and he bought the last one they had. Luna wasn’t lying when she said there was a high demand for the toy.
After safely purchasing that, he thought about what he wanted to get Luna. He considered what he knew about her. She didn’t have many fancy things, though he’d seen photos of her before they had Zane. Both men spoiled her quite well from what he gathered. She was a far cry from Misty or London, but having a kid didn’t mean she didn’t deserve something nice.
He got two items he liked and went to find Danny something. For the man that had eclectic tastes, he decided to get him a bow tie with science stuff on it. He taught high school biology and chemistry, so it suited the nerdy look the man had going. Plus, he loved bow ties. After making a few other purchases for Rowdy and his crew, he finally had finished all his shopping. For the first time in his life, he actually had a family to buy for, and it felt so damn good.
