She ghosted her hand back up to the arch of his feathered wing and stroked it again. “Why not? You pet my hair… I cannot pet your wings?”
He stiffly shook his head, his features pinching as he angled his head towards her. “It is not the same.”
She shrugged and went to take her hand away, wanted to shake her head when he looked pained, as if she had just stolen something wonderful from him. When she brushed her hand over his wings this time, his eyes slipped shut and his face relaxed, his lips parting on a soft exhale.
“Why deny yourself something that clearly feels good?” She teased one feather in particular, a broad one that formed part of the first row of longer ones.
“Because.” His eyes flicked open and locked on hers, heat blazing in them. “I am trying to be good.”
She realised that he meant he was trying to resist her because she had told him nothing carnal would happen between them and that her stroking his wings gave him pleasure, and she was in danger of pushing him over the edge. He wanted to abide by her rules, and she was close to making him break them.
“I’m sorry.” She withdrew her hand, let him see in her eyes that she meant that and what came next. “You can kiss me if you want.”
Water surged against her chest as he swiftly lunged for her, as he claimed her mouth in a hard, possessive kiss. She shivered as he held her above the water, as the full length of his bare body pressed against her naked curves, his hard length digging into her right hip. Gods, she wanted him, had to fight to resist the need he ignited in her.
A kiss would be enough for her. For now.
She savoured it, loving how he clutched her to him, how he was in control, steering the kiss towards one that was so intense, she couldn’t think straight when he finally released her. He gazed at her, heat in his eyes. Not the heat of lust, but the heat of love.
She lifted her hands from the water and framed his face, just gazed into his eyes and savoured that look too.
He raised his hand and cupped her cheek, stared deep into her eyes as his black eyebrows furrowed. His voice was little more than a husky whisper. “I feared I was going to lose you back there. I am sorry, Calindria. I will do better. This is not easy for me.”
She knew that, could see it in his eyes and feel it in him. As much as she wanted to know what had happened to him, why he had held himself back from her and lashed out at her, she wasn’t going to push him. She was just going to enjoy this calmer feeling that flowed between them and the fact he was trying to be better for her.
She craned her neck and kissed him again, a softer one this time, poured her love into it in the hope he would feel it. He relaxed against her, slid his arm around her back again and kissed her slowly, his breath mingling with hers.
When he eased back this time, he looked lost, or perhaps dazed. She felt that way too, felt as if she was drifting in his arms, floating on more than water. He sat her up and sat back, stared at her a moment longer and then dropped his gaze to her side.
“Is it healing?” He frowned at the wound.
She nodded and inspected it, surprised by how well her injury was doing. “It does not hurt, and the wound has closed now. Apparently, I heal quickly.”
Thanatos scrubbed a hand over his face. “Gods, that is a relief.”
She wanted to tease him by asking whether it was a relief because he worried about her or worried about how her father would react if she was still injured when she reached home. She held her tongue though, focused on washing the rest of the dirt and blood from her body. Thanatos fell silent and did the same, glancing at her from time to time, the heat in his gaze slowly fading. This felt comfortable and she liked it.
She had never bathed with anyone present before, and she found she liked the way Thanatos would steal glimpses of her, as if he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
“Where did you go?” She looked across at him.
He paused halfway through scooping water over his left shoulder. “I sensed the demigoddess and chased her. I feared she would try to hurt you and I wanted to protect you, and also see if I could capture her for your father to question in Tartarus. I am sure she is involved in what happened.”
That was very noble of him.
He huffed and glared at the water. “I did not do a good job of protecting you though. I left you with that male.”
“You didn’t leave me with him.” Well, technically he had, but only after she had issued her ultimatum and told him she was going with the Messenger whether he liked it or not. “I chose to leave with him. I will not let you take the full blame for what happened. We can share it.”
The corners of his broad lips twitched at that.
“Why did you come back?” she said and the way he looked at her, his gaze searing her with heat that branded his name on her heart, told her that she knew why he had returned—he had come back for her. To protect her. To stop another male from stealing her from him. She shuffled closer to him, water sloshing around her, and resisted the urge to touch his wings. “I mean, why did you not continue after the demigoddess?”
He swallowed hard. “Because she entered a place I… It made me realise that she was leading me into a trap and had been luring me away from you, attempting to separate us so the Messenger could capture you.”
“What place did she enter?” She regretted asking that when pain surfaced in his eyes and he turned his cheek to her to stare into the shadows at the far end of the pool.
“A building.” His throat worked on another swallow and she sensed the tension building inside him. When she rested her hand on his left arm, he looked down at it and then into her eyes. “It was the place I was held captive before. Perhaps it was an illusion.”
“Perhaps it wasn’t.” She had to put that out there. “This realm is filled with lies and illusions, but a lot of it is real. The female I saw seemed real enough to me, and if you could sense her… I think that means she was real… like the Messenger.”
He lowered his gaze to the water, stared hard at it in silence, and then muttered, “How do we know for certain?”
She caressed his arm, wanting to soothe him and ease some of the tension from him. “There is one way. We go there. If it is not real, you will not be able to touch it.”
“Touch it.” He glared at the rippling surface of the pool now. “I do not wish to get close enough to touch it. I fear the demigoddess might be lying in wait there, ready to capture me again.”
Calindria wouldn’t let that happen.
The darkness within her seethed at just the thought of it, wanted to lash out with black talons and roar at any who dared to come near her and Thanatos. No one would take him from her. He belonged to her now.
She stilled.
He did?
Her gaze drifted over him and the dark beast that lurked within her growled that he did. This god of death was hers and hers alone, and anyone who tried to harm him or steal him from her would pay for their insolence in blood.
Thanatos’s eyes narrowed on hers.
“What do you think to make your eyes so red, little goddess?”
Chapter 24
“What do you think to make your eyes so red, little goddess?” Thanatos lifted his hand and brushed his damp fingers across her cheek, his touch igniting a possessive heat inside Calindria that made her want to growl and stake a claim on him.
But what he said threw a bucket of ice on that fire.
Had her blinking at him.
“My eyes are red?” She tilted her face towards the pool, trying to see her reflection.
“As blood. Your father wears that look when he is feeling angry, or sometimes when he is gazing at your mother. In fact, I have seen that same look in the eyes of your brothers too, when they watch their females.”
She was about to snarl and tell him she wore no such look, a need to defend herself rising to the fore even though she wanted him to know how deeply she desired him.
How fiercely she wanted to claim him.
“My brothers have females?” She couldn’t believe that.
In her head, they were all young still, none of them really grown up enough to pursue a long-term relationship. It struck her that back when she had been captured, the last time she had seen her family, her oldest brother Keras would have been only a little over four hundred years old.
Now he would be close to one thousand.
She was now older than all her brothers had been when she had last seen them, and here she was wanting a relationship with Thanatos, while at the same time thinking her brothers weren’t mature enough to pursue a real relationship with females.
“Gods, apart from Keras, I do not even know what they look like. How grown they are. The idea that they have all settled down is… unbelievable.”
Thanatos chuckled at that and stood. Water sluiced down his powerful body, making her a little hazy and warm, to the point where she forgot what she had been talking about. She forgot the ability to think at all as he waded to the edge of the pool, giving her a glorious view of his firm backside between his black wings.
When he stepped out of the pool, he spread his wings and shook his feathers, spraying water everywhere.
A woman could get used to having a view like that in her life.
He stole it from her by pulling his black leather pants on and fastening them, gave her a look that said he knew she had been ogling him. She stood and walked towards him, let him get a good look at her too. It was only fair.
Thanatos growled as she stepped from the water, raked his silver gaze over her in a way that made her shiver and heated her blood. She denied the urge to walk up to him and kiss him, pulled back on the reins of her lust and dressed instead.
He stalked to the fire and lit it again, and she slipped her arms into her black tunic jacket and followed him. She held her hands out to the blue flames, savouring the way they heated her chilled skin and dried her.
Thanatos eased down to sit beside it and shook his wings out again, and started preening them.
He paused and looked at her. “Your brother, Ares, and his wife have a daughter.”
Her eyes widened. “A daughter? I’m an aunt?”
He nodded, a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “She was born soon after we vanquished Eris and her minions.”
“I can’t wait to meet her and—” All the light that had been filling her turned to shadows that swamped her as she thought about what she had wanted to say.
She looked at Thanatos, knew how bleak she had to look when his brow furrowed and he held a hand out to her. She stared at that hand. One she could touch without fear.
She slipped hers into it and he pulled her down to him, settled her between his bent knees and curled his arms around her, tucking her close to him. She leaned back into his chest and stared at the fire, no longer feeling the warmth of it.
“We will find a way for you to control your power, Calindria.” He held her a little tighter, a little closer, and she relished it and the spark of warmth and light it awakened in her.
If anyone could help her master this terrible power of hers, it was Thanatos.
She stroked his hands, staring at them now. “I think I need skin contact for my power to be effective.”
“What makes you say that?” He rested his chin on her shoulder.
“The Messenger put gloves on and when he grabbed my hand, I didn’t hurt him. I remember that the guards always wore gloves when they had to move me, or came to give me food or water.” She snuggled closer to Thanatos. “When I touched the Messenger’s bare skin, I hurt him then… I killed him. So, skin contact must be necessary.”
“It is possible.” He rubbed her arms, warming her. “We will run some tests… but you must still learn to control this power.”
“I know. I don’t want to spend my life starved of physical contact.” She flinched when he tensed, hadn’t meant it like that. She cursed herself for not thinking about how it would sound to him, a male who had done his best to avoid others. She had the feeling it was being intimate with another that made him lash out, that the demigoddess had done something to him to make him react that way whenever someone touched him. As she tried to think of a better way to put things, she stroked his arms, marvelling that he let her do such a thing. “I meant, I don’t want to fear hurting others all the time. I don’t want to worry every second that if someone touched me, accidentally brushed my skin, that I would kill them.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I will teach you. Together we will master this power, Calindria. You will not have to fear harming those you love.”
“I’ll practice while we go to that building you saw.”
He stiffened. “Why would you want to go there? It is not the route home.”
She stifled a yawn and fought the urge to close her eyes. “Because I think you need to know whether or not it’s real. I think it’s important to you… and that makes it important to me.”
He gathered her a little closer and sighed as he pressed his cheek to hers. “Thank you, little goddess. We will investigate it and then we shall go home. Sleep now. I will watch over you.”
She nodded and closed her eyes, curled against his chest and let sleep take her.
Sure that she would need all the strength she could get in the days ahead.
Escaping this realm wasn’t going to be as easy as he made it sound.
“Calindria?” That softly murmured word caressed her ears, drew her up from a deep peaceful slumber.
She frowned and resisted, snuggled closer to the warm pillow that cushioned her right side. A rich, deep chuckle teased her ears, sending a shiver through her, a wave of warmth that almost succeeded in rousing her from her sleep.
“First you do not trust me near you while you sleep, and now I cannot get you to wake.” He petted her hair, brushing long fingers through it, and she sighed as that warmth grew hotter, soothed every muscle in her body and made her feel peaceful. “Come now. We must move.”
She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay here in this warm cocoon, safe in the arms of Thanatos. Strange how a god of death, one so brutal and savage, could make her feel that way—as if no one in this world could hurt her while she was here, tucked within the sheltering embrace of his wings.
“I shall just have to move you while you sleep then.”
She gasped as he lifted her, as cold air swirled around her backside and legs, and opened her eyes and glared up at him, her lips flattening as an urge to hit him rushed through her.
“There is my little goddess.” He grinned down at her.
Good gods.
Her eyes widened.
His face fell. “What?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “Just… You are gorgeous when you smile like that.”
He huffed and scowled at her. “Do not tease me.”
“I’m not.” She pulled herself up in his arms by looping hers around his neck, bringing their faces closer together. “You’re gorgeous.”
He still didn’t look as if he believed her, so she kissed him. He was quick to seize control of it, to deepen it and wreak havoc on her body. She would never tire of him kissing her like this, desperately, as if he feared she was an illusion and would disappear at any moment.
When he broke the kiss, he didn’t put her down. He carried her towards the tunnel that led to the canyon and through it, didn’t even release her when they reached the valley. He spread his wings and beat them, lifting them both into the air, and the ground fell away, revealing the winding crevasses that formed the canyon and then endless mountains.
“No protest?” He slid her a look and then went back to staring at the horizon as he flew with her, his great wings beating the air in a rhythmic way that her tired mind found hypnotic.
She could fall asleep to that steady, constant sound.
She shook her head and nestled closer to him, liked it when he tightened his grip on her, his arms flexing against her back and the underside of her knees. She settled her head on his shoulder and gazed at his profile rather than the world around her.
When they had been flying for some time and he was looking tired, she dragged her eyes away from him and took in their surroundings, trying to find a suitable place for him to land for a moment. She spotted an area that was all black sand and dark shrubs.
“Fly there.” She pointed to the desert-like patch of land.
He didn’t question her, simply banked left and swooped lower, seemed to pick up speed as they descended. When he reached the rolling black dunes, he lowered his feet and landed without so much as a bump. Again, she wondered what it would be like to have wings. She imagined he’d had to master them, learning to control them, just as she needed to master her power.
“I travelled through an area like this once.” She pushed from his arms and landed on the sand. It was warm beneath her bare feet. Her gaze darted over the rippled surface. “There were beetles with incredible blue shells.”
“You want to collect some beetles?” He arched an eyebrow at her.
“No. I want to test my powers on them.” She spied one a short distance away and ran to it, cornering it before it could scuttle under a bush.
Calindria crouched and drew down a breath, focused on her power, unsure how to actually do that but unwilling to admit it. When she reached out and touched the beetle, it instantly charred and turned to ash.
Pain bloomed inside her, guilt chasing on its heels.
She didn’t dare look at Thanatos. He would probably laugh at her for feeling bad about killing something so small, but all life was life. It was all important. Her mother had told her that. Everything in this world was an important part of it, and all life should be valued.
Thanatos presented her with another glossy blue beetle, the size of his palm. He set it down before her and this time she covered her hand with her tunic and touched it. Nothing happened to it. It merrily moved around in the sand, leaving little tracks behind it.
She looked at her hands. So covering them did work. But that didn’t mean she could go around as she pleased as long as she wore gloves. What if someone touched another part of her? She felt terrible as she leaned over and pressed her cheek to the beetle, drew back and stared at it as she held her breath, waiting to see what would happen.
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