Mac stood to attention in front of the troops, facing Bates. He stared straight into Bates' eyes, unwavering. Bates never met his gaze.
The boys stood to shambolic attention at Mac's instruction, and Bates began to speak.
"At ease, men. Stand easy." The boys, many unsure what this meant, shuffled nervously in the cold. "When I was a boy my grandfather used to tell me tales of the Second World War. Stories of heroes and derring-do, secret missions, cunning generals, evil Nazis. It all seemed so simple. Good against bad, good wins, bad loses, everyone's happy…"
He lapsed into silence and stared off into space. As the seconds ticked past it became clear that this was more than just a dramatic pause. It soon became a very awkward silence, and then people started looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes and grimacing. Embarrassment set in, and then genuine discomfort. It must have been about a minute before he started again and everyone's shoulders relaxed.
"But the world isn't like that, is it men?" His voice was harder now, more assured. He started to increase his volume until he was on the verge of shouting. "Now it's just survival. Kill or be killed. It's hard and cruel and violent and wrong, but it's the world we have to live in and we have to be as hard as it is if we're to survive.
"We've all lost people, I know that. But they won't be forgotten. As we build our perfect home here in the grounds of our beloved school we carry with us the memories of those who have fallen before us, to the plague or the madness that followed it."
He paused again but this time, thank God, it was a dramatic flourish.
"My colleague Mr Hammond, who has given his life to this school, has constructed a monument to our fallen dead. Mr Hammond…" He gestured for Hammond to take his place, and sat down.
Hammond rose and walked to the same spot Bates had spoken from.
"Um, thanks Bates." He paused a second to collect his thoughts and then, to my surprise, he looked up at the crowd with a strong, clear gaze. There was a sense of purpose in his eyes and his jaw was set with determination. The feeble pensioner we'd rescued on the driveway had been replaced by the firm disciplinarian of old. "But I'm afraid I can't agree with your sentiments.
"You see, I remember the war. I was only a boy at school but even I could see that it wasn't glorious. When my parents were burned alive in their house they weren't heroes, they were victims of indiscriminate slaughter. Hundreds of thousands of people died in England during the Blitz, died in their beds, died at their breakfast tables, died on their way to work or in the pub or in the arms of their lovers. And that was hard and cruel and violent and wrong. But do you know how we fought it, hmm? By rising above it! We chose decency and kindness and community, we cared for each other. We refused to become the thing we were fighting and that's why we triumphed."
This was rousing stuff. Blitz Spirit! Triumph through adversity! Battle of Britain! Never in the field, etc. I was sitting there thinking of all the bombs we dropped on German cities – what can I say, I'm a cynical sod sometimes – but I was more interested in the reaction of Bates and Mac to this diatribe. Mac's face gave nothing away, but Bates' eyes were finally focused, and he looked furious.
"But you, Bates, what are you offering these children in the face of all this horror? More death! You can't meet violence with violence; you can't fight plague, fear, panic and desperation with a gun! If you want to build an army you need to arm them with knowledge that can help them rebuild, that can help them to help others to rebuild. Then maybe you can hold back the tide. But what you're offering us here, with your uniforms, guns and marching is nothing but an opportunity to die for no reason when we should be looking for a way to live!
"And that's why I made this."
He turned and pulled the sheet off the sculpture to reveal a figure made of white plaster that shone in the reflected snowlight. It was a boy of about twelve, dressed in school uniform. Under one arm he carried a pile of books, and in the other hand he held a satchel with a vivid red cross on it. Beneath the figure was a plinth bearing the inscription 'Through wisdom and compassion, out of the darkness', and underneath that a list of the dead.
We all stared at this gleaming statue, amazed. It was beautiful and awful. I didn't think Hammond had it in him to produce something so good. And judging by the expressions on everyone's faces, nobody else did either.
"This school has been a home to me all my life," said Hammond. "It represents everything I believe in and cherish – kindness, duty, learning and respect. Turning it into an armed camp cheapens everything it stands for, and I will not allow that to stand."
Someone started to clap. It was Matron. She rose to her feet and applauded. Then the four other grown-ups followed suit, and then the Dinner Lady.
Bates was crimson with fury, staring at these insubordinate ingrates, but he was frozen by the moment, shocked into inaction by the open defiance of what he was trying to achieve.
And then one, then two, then ten, then most, then all of the boys began clapping as well. This could be it, I realised. This could be the moment when we pulled back from the brink, abandoned the army game and reclaimed a little bit of sanity and humanity; the moment we pulled the rug out from under the feet of Bates and Mac and took charge. Everything depended upon how our glorious leaders responded to this insurrection.
Bates rose to his feet and strutted towards Hammond, who stood his ground.
"Oh shit," I whispered. "Here we go."
"I should shoot you here and now for insubordination," he hissed. The applause died away as people noticed that Bates' hand was wrapped tightly around the handle of his still-holstered sidearm.
"Insubordination?" mocked Hammond. "I'm not subordinate to you. I don't take orders from anyone, let alone a deluded history teacher who thinks he's Field Marshal Montgomery."
I could have hugged him for that. It was all I could do not to cheer. Still Mac was unmoving, at attention, staring straight ahead. The officers, who had not clapped, also stood still, but I could see they were nervous, uncertain what to do. They looked to Mac for a lead, but he was giving them nothing, letting the scene before him play out uninterrupted. The situation, and the school's future, was balanced on a knife edge.
"These boys need a strong hand, they need to be protected." Bates was trying not to shout, but even so his words carried clearly in the sudden silence.
"Yes they do. From you, and that psychopath there!" He pointed at Mac, who didn't move a muscle. "Look at what you've achieved since you've been in charge, eh? Two boys hanged in Hildenborough, two more shot and wounded in a stupid act of military adventurism. Your second-in-command has murdered four people that I know of in the last two weeks. And this school, which is supposed to be a haven of safety and learning, which could be offering sanctuary and succour to all the lost children wandering around out there in the chaos, has been turned into a bloody fortress. We should be sending out expeditions to retrieve children not armaments. Can't you see that?"
Bates had drawn his gun. It was hard to tell whether he'd done it consciously or not, but he stood there face to face with Hammond, his pistol held tight, shaking with barely contained fury and madness.
I saw Green take a step forward, as if to intervene, but Mac caught his eye and flashed him a look of warning. Green, cowed, stepped back into line.
"Mr Hammond, I am afraid that you are no longer welcome at this institution. You are ordered to leave."
Hammond laughed in Bates' face.
"You can't order me to leave. This is my home far more than it's ever been yours. I was here when your father was in nappies, young man. This is my school, not yours, and you'll have to kill me to get rid of me."
"No, I won't," said Bates.
Bates turned to Mac.
"Major, you and your men escort Mr Hammond from the premises immediately," he said.
"Yes sir!" barked Mac, and nodded to his officers, who raised their rifles and walked forward.
At this point Matron stepped forward to interve
ne, but Mac blocked her way and hissed into her face "Sit down, bitch, or else". She sat down, ashen-faced.
Seeing Mac advancing towards him, Hammond straightened his back and stuck out his chest. He wasn't going to be intimidated.
"You can't hand me over to this man, Bates," he cried. "We both know I'll be dead within the hour. And these boys won't let it happen, will you boys?"
Oh, what a misjudgement that was. Because the boys didn't make a sound. They were too afraid of the raised guns of the officers, too cowed by the horrors that had overtaken their lives in the last year, too conditioned to fear Mac. They'd enjoyed a mad moment of rebellion but once they'd stopped applauding their own terror had crept in to fill the silence.
Norton looked over at me desperately, seeking guidance. If I gave the nod he'd speak up.
Should I have given the signal? I still wonder about that. If I had, if Norton had stepped forward and rallied the boys, maybe things would have been different. Maybe all the blood and death could have been prevented. But I was unsure. It seemed too risky. I shook my head, and Norton clenched his jaw and remained silent. In that moment of uncertainty and cowardice he and I condemned us to all that followed.
Faced by Mac's slow, menacing approach, and the silent acquiescence of the boys, Hammond began to appreciate the gravity of his situation.
"You can't do this, Bates. For God's sake man, look at yourself, look at what you're doing!" There was a desperate, pleading note in his voice now.
"Mac's orders are to expel you," said Bates, "and that is what he'll do, isn't it Major?"
"Yes sir!"
Mac, approaching from behind Bates, bared his teeth at Hammond, and winked. Bates stepped forward, his pistol raised to cover Hammond and deter him from running. Hammond contemptuously batted the pistol aside. Bates brought it to bear again. Hammond batted it aside again. Bates raised the pistol to hit Hammond with it, but the old man grabbed Bates' arm to counter the blow.
You've seen the movies. You know what comes next. The two men grapple for possession of the weapon, they huddle in tight, almost embracing, as they strain and clutch and struggle for leverage. Then a shot – shocking, sudden, echoing off the buildings and trees, repeating again and again and fading away as the two men stand stock still, frozen, the horrified spectators waiting to see which one of them will topple.
Hammond backed away from Bates, his face full of confusion and fear. Then he fell sideways into the snow, and twitched and shook and died.
Bates stood there, the smoking gun in his hand. He stared at Hammond's body and seemed frozen, rooted to the spot.
Rowles broke ranks and ran towards the school, crying. Without a moment's hesitation Mac drew his sidearm and fired into the air.
"One more inch, Rowles, and I'll have you up on a charge of desertion!" he yelled.
Rowles turned back, his face streaked with tears and snot, utterly terrified. His lower lip trembled.
"Back in line, boy, now!"
Rowles shuffled back, wide-eyed, and rejoined the serried ranks of boys, all of whom mirrored his fear and uncertainty.
"You are on parade. You do not leave until you are dismissed. Understand?"
The boys stood in silence.
"I said," bellowed Mac, "do you understand?"
A half-hearted "yes sir".
"I bloody well hope so."
Mac turned to his officers. Patel and Wolf-Barry were restraining Matron, who had attempted to run to Hammond when he had been shot.
"Zayn, Pugh, take Hammond's body to the San." They did so.
Bates was still standing there.
Mac addressed the troops.
"The Colonel is right. There's no room here for charity, no food for freeloaders, no beds for fucking whingers. We stay tight, we stay hard, we stay alive. Hammond thought otherwise and look where it fucking got him."
"That's Mr Hammond to you, McKillick," shouted Matron, straining against the boys who were holding her back. Mac turned and walked slowly towards her. He had still not holstered his gun. He leaned forward so there was only an inch at most between their faces.
"Now you listen to me and you listen well, bitch," he whispered. "I run this place now. My gaff, my rules. And if you don't like that you can piss off. But while you stay here you do exactly as I say or so help me God I will fucking gut you. I own you, bitch, and don't you fucking forget it."
He leered at her and then raised his free hand and ever so softly caressed her cheek.
And for the first time ever I genuinely wanted to kill someone.
Matron spat in his face. There was an audible intake of breath from the boys.
Mac smiled.
"Take her away boys," he said. "Find somewhere safe and lock the cow up. I'm sure we can find a use for her."
"Sir?" Pugh, having a moment of conscience.
"Yes Corporal?" The danger in Mac's voice was unmistakeable.
"Nothing sir."
"Good, then carry on."
The two boys marched Matron away towards the school.
Bates still hadn't moved.
Mac walked over to Hammond's statue and kicked it hard. It slowly toppled over and fell into the bloodstained snow. Another failed attempt at decency and compassion, white on red.
CHAPTER SIX
The court martial of Mr Bates began the next morning.
Most of the officers were present, including myself, in my wheelchair, sitting at Mac's right hand. Only Green and Wylie were absent, running exercises with the boys. Mac, sporting a huge bruise on his left cheek which he made no reference to, took the chair. We were to be Bates' judges and jury.
Bates sat before us, hands bound. He was deep in shock and hadn't said a word since the shooting the previous day.
I don't think I've ever felt as powerless as I did in that room. Officially I was now one of the three most powerful people in the school, but this was a pantomime of Mac's devising and we all knew what was expected of us. Step out of line, challenge Mac in this context, and I had no doubt I'd share whatever fate he had in store for Bates. This was to be the culmination of Mac's ascent to power and we had to rubber stamp it, no matter what. Our lives depended upon it.
"Colonel Michael Bates, you are arraigned here today to answer the charge of murder."
Mac was even putting on a plummy voice, pretending to be a High Court judge. Actually, not 'putting on' at all; 'reverting to', more like.
Bates mumbled something inaudible in response.
"Speak up, Colonel," said Mac.
Bates looked up at Mac. The depth of despair in those eyes was like a physical blow.
"I said sorry," he muttered.
Mac snorted. "I'm afraid sorry just isn't going to do. You are accused of a criminal offence of the most heinous type and you must answer for it before the court."
"So sorry," he whispered again, and his head slumped forward as his shoulders began to heave. He began to sob.
Mac was unmoved.
"Do I take it to understand that you are throwing yourself upon the mercy of this court, Colonel?"
But the only sound that came from Bates was a deep, hoarse moan.
"In which case we shall retire to consider our verdict."
As Mac rose Bates looked up and began to speak.
"All I wanted," he sobbed, "was to help."
"Well I think that…"
"All I wanted," Bates interrupted, "was to look after them. To make them safe, to protect and care for them, that's all I ever wanted, even before. But it was always so hard. They never understood what I was doing, never understood that it was all for their own good. Never understood. Nobody ever understood."
He started to speak more loudly now, passionately pleading with us to understand his choices and failures.
"Do you know what it's like to try and help someone who doesn't want to be helped? Do you? To try and persuade them that you know best? It's impossible. But it was my job, my duty, I couldn't just give up, could I? I had to make them see.
I had to keep them safe. 'Arm ourselves', I said. 'The school will be safe', I said. 'Sanctuary', I said. But they wouldn't believe me. Wouldn't do things my way. Had to challenge me, always had to challenge me. Undermine, countermand, mock and ignore. All I wanted, all I ever wanted, was to be a hero, their hero."
Mac started to giggle. A man was falling to pieces in front of him and the sick bastard actually thought it was funny.
"And now I never will be, will I?" Bates looked up at Mac again, suddenly clear-eyed and focused. "Because you're going to kill me, aren't you, Mac?"
Mac met his gaze, but said nothing.
"Yeah, of course you are," said Bates. "You've been building up to this from the moment you arrived. Just biding your time, waiting for me to make a mistake. Well, good for you. Good for you. Made it easy for you really, didn't I? Got it wrong every step of the way and you just let me get deeper and deeper into the shit until it was time to make your move. And now you've got your lackeys and your weapons and your army. But what are you going to do with it all? What's the point of all the power? Do you even have a point, or is it just for its own sake, just because you can? You don't care for these boys, you don't care for their wellbeing or safety. You just want to be in control of them. And now you are. My fault, again. My fault."
He took a deep breath and calmed the final sobs that had interspersed his little speech. He raised his bound hands and wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve, sat upright and stared straight ahead, trying to find some final shreds of dignity.
"Before you pass sentence I want to make a final request." He turned his gaze to me. "I don't know why you're allying yourself with this bastard, Keegan, but I've been watching you and I think you're better than this." Oh shit, thanks. Blow my cover, why don't you? "I want you to do something for me, if you can."
"What's that then?" I tried to sound casual and unconcerned. Mustn't let Mac know how much I was hating this.
"I want you to find my sons and tell them what's happened."
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