by Shelley Gray
"Never. You've always been far more than ordinary to me." Now he was close enough that she could smell leather and the underlying scent that belonged to Will McMillan alone.
Her mouth went dry as his hand curved around her shoulder, and gently squeezed. Not hard. Just enough to let her know that he was there. He was present and he wasn't going away.
But it was easy enough to jerk her shoulder out of his grasp if that was what she really wanted. She didn't. "Why are you here?" she repeated.
"Because a very smart man reminded me that here was where I needed to be."
"In Kansas City?" She honestly wasn't sure about how much to hope for.
"I need to be with you, Jamie."
It sounded like there was a smile to his voice now. She could imagine it just as if he were standing in front of her instead of behind. Then with his other hand he gripped her other shoulder, effectively caging her in. Holding her close. When he sighed, she felt his breath cascade against her neck.
But even more powerful than his proximity were his words.
"Jamilyn, when I was with you, I swear it was the hardest time of my life. Not even during the war was I so afraid. Every minute of the day I was terrified I was going to misjudge a situation and get you killed. I was afraid I wouldn't be man enough to protect you, that I wasn't going to be strong enough to help you survive."
"I had no idea you felt that way."
"I didn't know I could admit it," he whispered, his voice sending fresh waves of awareness down her neck.
For the first time, he'd let her feel his weakness. But instead of making her turn away from him, it made her finally turn around. Instantly, his gaze searched hers. Blue irises flared as he silently conveyed everything they were both afraid to verbalize.
As she'd anticipated, his hands dropped when she moved her body. They stayed at his side when she faced him completely.
Chest-to-chest. Hip-to-hip. Little separated them except worries and doubts, unsaid promises and unspoken fears.
But even with all that, there was something far stronger holding them together. Love. "I fell in love with you," she said. Surprise flickered in his eyes before he carefully tamped it down. "Will, back when you were worried about being everything for me, I fell in love with everything you were."
"Was it enough?"
This time, she was the one who reached out. Running a finger along a wrinkle lining the outside of his eye, she tried in vain to ease his lines of worry. But they were too embedded, coming from a lifetime of hard work and living dangerously, to be removed with one soft touch. "Oh Will, don't you understand? All along, you were more than enough. You were more than I'd ever known."
"The hardest thing I ever did was let you go on that train with Edison."
"I got the feeling it was." When a ghost of a smile appeared, she slid her hand lower and brushed her thumb against the curve of his bottom lip.
"What? Was that day at the train station not the hardest day for you?"
"Not at all." When he stared at her in surprise, she chuckled. "Will, letting you go was easy, because it was the right thing to do. I wanted you to feel all right. I wanted you to feel good about yourself."
"Because?"
"Because that's the kind of man you are, Will. You try to do right. And because you are that way, others try to be that way too."
"I want you in my life. I want your hand, Jamilyn. I want your hand and your heart and everything else."
"Are you proposing to me?"
He nodded. "And doing just about the sorriest excuse of a proposal as a man ever has done." He paused, looked around, and then pulled her toward the corner of the room. It was darker there and a little out of sight from almost anyone who happened to be walking by. Then, without another word, he knelt down on one knee and reached out for her hand. "Jamilyn Ellis, I love you. Will you do me the very great honor of marrying me? Of being my wife?"
"Of course," she said, feeling like she'd just mistakenly walked into someone else's life. "If you're sure."
"I've never been more sure."
As she looked in his eyes, she knew he was speaking from his heart. And from her heart too. "Of course I will marry you, Will," she said. "I love you too." Bending forward, she pulled him up to his feet and raised her chin.
Then no other words needed to be said. As had become their custom, a look and a touch said almost everything. So did a kiss and an embrace, she was coming to find out.
A long while later, when he finally stepped away, they were both breathing heavily.
"Jamie, come away with me. Tonight."
"Where will we go?"
"We're going to find a preacher and do whatever it takes to get him to marry us. And then I'm going to saddle up a horse and go back home to Texas. To the hill country. And we're going to find us some land and settle down and live."
She laughed. "Just like that?"
"Just like that. Sam reminded me that while I was living my life as different people, the bank account of Will McMillan was growing bigger. Fact is, I don't know if I'll ever need to work again."
She smiled at that. Not because of the money, but because of who he was. Because of the man he was. "How long do you think you'll stay a man of leisure?"
Eyes shining, he grimaced. "Not long. But I had an idea that I thought I'd play around with for a bit."
"And what is that?"
"I'd like to be the law in a small, sleepy town. And along the way, I want to study the Bible and plow a field. And build a house and raise some horses. I want to make a life with you, and with you by my side, I'm thinking maybe I can help a few other people."
Suddenly looking doubtful, he stilled. "Um . . . what do you think?"
"I think you can do just about anything you set your mind to, Will. And I'd be proud to be by your side."
Her hand clasped in his, Jamie walked out of the room, and after briefly telling Rebecca what she already seemed to know, strode out of the inn.
Into the bright sunlight, into her future, and to a home she'd never seen.
Next to the man who needed her as much as she needed him.
"Jamie," he drawled as he clasped her hand. "You ready?" When she nodded, they walked forward. And began.
Discussion Questions
The epitaph on Wyatt Earp's tombstone reads, "Nothing's so sacred as honor and nothing's so loyal as love." Many of the characters A Texan's Honor spend their time contemplating honor. What does honor mean to you? Is it possible to acquire it, or do you think it's an innate part of a person's character?
Jamie Ellis begins the novel as a hostage and a victim. She grows stronger during the story and in the end makes her own choices about her future. How do you think her experiences at home before the train robbery played into how she was able to survive the Walton Gang?
Will states that saving Jamie is the best thing he's ever done. Do you agree?
Psalm 85:10 says, "Mercy and Truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other." How do you think that mercy and truth go together? What about righteousness and peace?
The character of Kitty serves as Scout's redemption. Why do you think he needed a friend like Kitty in order to grow? Or do you think she didn't affect him in a positive way?
Scout feels like a failure to Kitty. Is this true? Do you feel Kitty deserved her Christian funeral?
Why do you think Scout and Will's friendship works?
Several times throughout the novel, Scout compares himself to his brother, Clayton, the hero of A Texan's Promise. Scout is always sure he could never be as heroic as Clayton, but are they really all that different? What are some ways their characters are alike?
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