“That’s too bad. How’d she do on the essay?”
“They haven’t received their grades yet. Not until next week.”
He and Ivy always spoke politely to each other, exchanging information rigidly restricted to their daughter and her activities. Keeping that in mind, he should wrap up the conversation.
“Was there something else?” Ivy asked, when the silence between them had drawn out to a longer than usual length of time.
“Not really. I…” Why was he trying to keep her on the phone? In the past few weeks, he really hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to her, and right now he wasn’t even sure why he wanted to.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Me?”
He smiled at the surprise in her voice. He leaned on the metal railing, relaxing into the conversation. “Yes, you.”
“Oh…nothing really. I brought some work home and I’m doing it while I watch TV.”
“You still watching those trashy shows?”
There was a short pause. “I plead the fifth.”
“Come on, Ivy, I can’t believe you’re still addicted to reality shows.” She used to make him watch them with her at his apartment. Then she’d spend half the time complaining to him about everyone’s behavior.
“Don’t judge me.”
“How many of them are there now? Every time I turn around there’s another one.”
“I’m embarrassed to say I watch them, but it’s nice to see other people have more problems than I do. It’s like watching an accident on the highway and makes me realize how good my life is. That’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty bad.”
Another pause, another opportunity to end the call, but still he didn’t. He could hear the television in the background, and then his mind went in a direction it shouldn’t. He wondered if she was in bed, and what was she wearing if she was?
“Did I tell you that you turned into a really good cook?” he said.
“Really?” He heard the smile in her voice.
“Yeah, I have to give you credit, especially considering your limitations when we met.” She’d definitely come a long way. He’d enjoyed the dinners at her place.
“Limitations. That’s a nice way of putting it. The only time you got a meal from me was when I brought it home from a restaurant.”
“It’s the thought that counts.”
“Next time you come, you’ll have to cook,” she told him.
“Deal. I know just the thing.”
“Please tell me you have Mama Katherine’s fried chicken recipe.”
He chuckled. “It just so happens I do.”
“Yes!”
He stood there, grinning like an idiot, but he couldn’t stop. Hearing her voice just…did things to him.
“Remember when you bought me that silverware set?” he asked.
She laughed, the sound attractive and enticing. He looked down at his arms. Goose bumps had broken out on his flesh.
“Do I? It was an act of desperation. You only had three forks.”
“I didn’t need anymore than that.”
“They come in packs of four.”
“Yeah, well, I must have lost one at some point. I wasn’t too worried about it. I appreciated you buying me a set, but you didn’t have to.”
“What choice did I have? I got tired of washing forks every time I wanted something to eat!”
They both broke into laughter at that. “Oh, so it’s like that?”
“You brought it up,” Ivy pointed out, when she finally caught her breath. Man, she had the best laugh, like she was all in on the joke. He wanted to immerse himself in the sound.
They grew quiet again, but this time the silence was less awkward and more from the reflection of shared memories.
“She misses you,” Ivy said softly.
“She said that?”
“Pretty much. I didn’t want to say anything, but she was crying in her room tonight. That’s why she went to bed so early. She cried herself to sleep. She wanted to know why you can’t live here like her first daddy.”
Her voice thickened at the end, and Lucas felt his heart break a little bit. He bowed his head. “I…miss her, too.” The words weren’t as hard to say as he thought they’d be. What was hard was believing that he’d only known Katie for a short time.
“When are you coming back?” Ivy asked. Her voice sounded tentative, as if she didn’t think she should even be asking such a question.
“In a couple of weeks.”
He hadn’t planned on flying back so soon, but knowing his daughter missed him, and knowing how he felt, he saw no reason to delay. He only had a couple of days of travel coming up, and the few deadlines he had to meet for Ask Men magazine and Marie Claire were ones he felt he could handle fairly quickly if he buckled down and put in longer hours. It was better to get in as many visits as he could before next year, when he would have less time because of his teaching schedule.
“You’re coming back so soon?”
“I travel so much I have a lot of frequent flyer miles, so it’s not a problem.”
He heard Priscilla behind him as she came back to the patio door. “I thought you were coming back to bed,” she said.
Lucas pulled the phone away from his ear and covered it to muffle the sound. He tried not to show his frustration when he looked at her. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Her eyes dropped to the phone in his hand, her gaze accusatory. She made him feel guilty even though he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was having a perfectly innocent conversation.
With her face fixed into a mask of displeasure, Priscilla went back inside.
He lifted the phone to his ear again. “Hello?”
“I didn’t know you had company,” Ivy said.
Lucas rubbed the back of his head. “I do, but—”
“I’ll let you go. I shouldn’t have bothered you so late.”
“I called you.”
“I shouldn’t keep you, then.”
“You’re not keeping me.” A sense of desperation overcame him, as if something important was slipping away. It was just a conversation, but he needed to hold on a little bit longer and salvage the delicate rapport developing between them.
“Let me know when you’d like to come back.”
“I’d like to—” The phone went dead, and he looked down at the screen in surprise.
Sighing, he stayed outside for a little longer, digesting the conversation, thinking about his daughter. Thinking about Ivy. Wondering what the hell was wrong with him and why he was thinking so much about Ivy. And what she was wearing. And how attractive her voice sounded when she talked, and her laugh—all warm and husky, and—
He was getting hard just thinking about her laugh.
He shook his head. He had to stop thinking about her because she’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, and they weren’t even on the same page when it came to relationships. His only concern should be for Katie, but Ivy filled his thoughts more and more often.
Maybe it was normal. After all, she was his daughter’s mother. If he was honest with himself, he had to acknowledge something else was going on because he hadn’t wanted to hang up. He’d wanted the conversation to go on for much longer. Even now, he was tempted to call back, but truthfully the moment, and whatever had transpired between them, had passed.
****
Ivy stared at the phone, barely holding back from tossing it across the room. But why punish the phone? It wasn’t the phone’s fault she had conveniently forgotten he was involved with other women. He certainly hadn’t made a secret of his relationships. He’d told her from the beginning.
She was the one who’d lost sight of reality because he’d spoken to her in an overtly friendly way. It didn’t help that she’d already gotten comfortable playing in her little fantasyland where she watched his and her daughter’s bent heads as they worked on crossword puzzles. Or she cooked dinner and listened to
them talking and giggling in the living room, and afterward Lucas would insist that since she’d cooked, he and Katie would clear the table and load the dishwasher. All of those little moments gave them more time together and more time to bond.
He had a woman at his place right now. She laughed bitterly as pain lanced through her chest. Of course he did. Lucas wouldn’t be living his life like a monk.
The other day at work, Cynthia had told her she should date more, and her friend was right. She’d dated a little bit since Winston passed away, but she needed to really start dating. And she knew where to start.
She scrolled through the contacts in her phone and settled on a number. She hit send.
“Hello?”
Ivy smiled at his very proper British accent, one of his attractive qualities. She drew her legs up to her chest and settled back against the pillows. “Hi Gil, it’s me, Ivy. It’s not too late, is it?”
“I know it’s you, and no, it’s not too late. You know I’m a night owl. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
She felt better already. “When will you be back in the country?”
“In a couple of months or so,” he replied.
“Do you still want to go out when you come back? If so, I’d like to take you up on your offer.”
“Sounds like a smashing idea.”
Ivy closed her eyes. Forget Lucas.
“Great,” she said, keeping her voice upbeat. “Call me when you’re back in Seattle.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Royal flush, gentlemen.” Derrick laid his hand on the table, a wide grin plastered across his face.
“Dammit!” Lucas tossed down his cards and joined in the chorus of groans as his friend scraped his winnings to his side of the table.
Five of them had gathered to play poker in Derrick’s man cave on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. In addition to Lucas, there was Derrick, Derrick’s half brothers Roarke and Matthew, and their brother-in-law, Antonio.
After traveling to New York for an appearance that lasted Thanksgiving Day and the day after, Lucas came back to town and savored spending time with his buddies. The brothers often included him in family events—weddings, a bachelor party, or simply hanging out in Derrick’s man cave, like they were tonight. They were the brothers he’d never had.
Located on the bottom floor of his mansion, Derrick’s lair contained leather furniture and a polished steel, custom made pool table. A fully stocked bar and refrigerator ensured the men could eat and drink for hours without having to go upstairs. As if that wasn’t enough, his chef had prepared platters of crab cakes, meatballs, a crazy-good hot caprese dip, and something called broccoli cheese bites that Lucas couldn’t get enough of.
Tonight’s get together had been prompted by his best friend Roarke’s temporary return. A professor of physics at the University of Georgia, he was on loan to a university in Chile and had come home for the holidays. It was a one-year assignment, and he and his wife had decided that it was best to live apart for the year rather than uproot the entire family.
“This is ridiculous.” Matthew scowled across the table at his brother. Derrick had won every single hand they’d played. He was definitely the better player amongst the five of them, but this was a record even for him.
Derrick chuckled. “Are you guys even playing?”
“I think you just invite us over to take our money,” Lucas said, eyeing Derrick as he counted the cash.
Derrick laughed. “Sorry to have to do this to you again, gentlemen.”
Antonio stood up from the table. “You’re not sorry.” He went over to the refrigerator and took out a beer.
“Don’t you have enough money already?” Matthew asked Derrick.
“You can never have enough money, Matt,” Derrick replied. His comment didn’t come as a surprise to Lucas. Derrick had inherited millions from his adoptive father and strived to build the business left to him into an even bigger, more successful company.
“I’m done.” Matthew scraped back his chair and went over to the pool table.
“Me, too.” Antonio followed Matthew and they each grabbed a cue stick from the wall.
“Don’t be sore losers,” Derrick called, a grin on his face.
Roarke rose from the table and headed toward the bar. “I know you’re cheating, but I haven’t figured out how. Anybody else want a beer?” he asked.
“I’ll take one,” Lucas replied.
Roarke came back with two bottles of Full Moon beer. “I’m going to figure out how you’re doing it, too,” he said to Derrick.
“Did it ever occur to you that I might be a better player?” Derrick asked, his blue-gray eyes filled with amusement.
“No!” Matthew and Antonio yelled from across the room.
“I don’t know if that’s up for debate, since I’m the only one who won any hands tonight.” Derrick was enjoying rubbing it in. The brothers went back and forth, taking verbal shots at each other for a while.
When they were done giving each other a hard time, Derrick turned in Lucas’s direction. “You’re quieter than usual,” he observed.
“Thinking, man, just thinking.” Something he’d been doing a lot of lately. He’d found it particularly hard to leave Seattle after his last trip. Katie’s sad little face still haunted him.
“How are you adjusting to being a father?”
“I gotta hear this,” Matthew called from across the room, “because I never expected you of all people would ever have kids.”
Lucas snorted. “I didn’t either, but I had one eight years ago.” He launched into the story of his relationship with Ivy. The room fell silent and all eyes turned on him as he explained what had happened. He left out the part about Ivy purposely not taking the pill, but he did mention that she’d known he didn’t want kids and that’s why she never told him.
Antonio whistled and came back to the table. “I didn’t know Ivy Johnson was the mother of your kid. Her family’s got more money than—Derrick. They’ve been hitting the Forbes list for years. They’re billionaires.”
“Yeah, I know, but I had no idea who she was when I met her.”
Antonio pointed at the beer on the table. “This lager is the most popular product in the line and the one that started it all. One of my female clients had an endorsement deal for them a few years ago when they launched a low calorie brew.” Antonio was a publicist for professional athletes.
“How do you feel about this?” Matthew asked. He walked over and stood beside Antonio.
They were all looking at him with concerned eyes, as if he’d just announced that he had a life-ending disease.
He shrugged. “I’m good.”
“Ivy’s still letting you be a part of your daughter’s life, right?” That was Roarke, the consummate family man.
“She is. I’ve been back to see her—Katie, I mean. We talk on the phone regularly, but to be honest, man, it’s all so new.” So new he felt overwhelmed, like someone had drawn a blanket of water over his head and he risked drowning. “I have a kid. I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to do with her.” He chuckled and shook his head.
“You just be her dad,” Roarke said.
“Hard to do from so far away,” Matthew pointed out.
“But not impossible,” Roarke insisted. “Celeste’s ex lives somewhere up in that area, too, and he uses it as an excuse not to do anything for Arianna.” Roarke was more of a father to his stepdaughter than her biological father ever was.
“I’m not going to be like him, that’s for sure,” Lucas said.
“How did your daughter react to finding out you were her father?” Derrick asked.
“Reserved. It was hard at first, but I found a way to connect with her and it helped a lot. We have a pretty good relationship now.”
“Look,” Roarke said thoughtfully. “It’s a learning process, but it’s one that you can manage. Just because you’ve never been a father doesn’t mean you can’t be a good one. Every man had to start somewh
ere.”
“Easy for you to say. You’ve been doing it for years.” Roarke had practically been groomed for fatherhood, since he’d raised his younger brother and sister from the time he was eighteen years old. “I’m nowhere near prepared.”
“Well, at least you won’t have to pay child support,” Matthew said, with his usual attempt at humor. “That kid isn’t going to need a damn thing from you.”
“Don’t listen to Matt,” Antonio said. “Growing up, we had everything we could possibly want, but the best gifts were always the time we got to spend with my father when he wasn’t traveling for a game. She’s just getting to know you. That’s what I’d concentrate on.”
“How do you guys do it, though?” Lucas asked. He looked at Derrick and then at Roarke since they were the only ones who had children. “I only found out I was a father a few months ago, and already I want to lock her in an ivory tower.”
Roarke laughed. “I don’t think that feeling will ever go away. It’s part of being a parent. It’s hard, but we can’t stifle them or hold them back from living their lives.”
“Yeah, but it’s probably different for you guys. Katie’s all the way in Seattle. I’m not there to…I don’t know, protect her.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but it doesn’t matter if Violet’s near or far, I’ll always feel the same way,” Derrick said. “I can’t imagine a day when I won’t want to protect her and her mother. Having them in my life creates a level of anxiety I never experienced before. I worry more about them than I do my own self. I want them to be fine, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I’d do anything for Violet and Eva. I would slay dragons for them.”
The room fell silent as each man nodded. Lucas stared at the bottle of beer as he mulled Derrick’s words. He looked up at a soft knock on the door.
“Come in,” Derrick called.
His wife, Eva, looking very pregnant, appeared in the doorway holding their toddler, Violet, by the hand. The little girl wore footed pajamas with cartoon animals all over them.
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