by Ali Parker
"I will. Soon." I closed my eyes as the breeze picked up. Life was way too complex to think through any of it at the moment. There were too many emotions waiting to pounce on me, to suffocate me and pull me under.
Numbness was my best option. It always had been.
Chapter 9
Demetri
I had a million things I wanted to say to her, but Joe's comment about her possibly being involved in everything gave me pause. Did I really believe that?
That Izabella Castaletta would turn on her family, that she would turn on me?
"Fuck no," I whispered under my breath as I walked toward the front of the restaurant. Everyone had been cheeky in singing me happy birthday after dinner, which just felt fucked up. It was Freddy's funeral early that morning and no one really seemed too upset other than Joe, Marco and Izzy.
Poor kid. Never really did belong.
"D." Izzy walked toward me as I paused, her long dark hair dancing around her as if it had a life of its own. I needed to sink my fingers into her silky locks and make love to her until she begged me to stop, to lord over her tight body and remind her that my actions would most often contradict the truth because they had to.
I loved her with every part of me.
"What?" I pulled my keys from my pocket and worked to not bark at her. The birthday bullshit had me off center.
"Where are you headed now?" She walked toward the door, forcing me to join her.
Always needing to be in control.
"I'm meeting up with Nate at my place. He's going to take care of a few things for me, and his brother Timothy is going to cover for him." I held the door open for her. "You need a ride home?"
"I want to come with you." She walked toward my car. "I don't want to be at home right now."
There it was. A little bit of honesty. The beautifully broken girl that owned my heart and soul would peak around the edges of the tough bitch who'd taken her place out of necessity.
"You told Joe about the tapes?" I got in the car and buckled up, turning to watch her as she sunk down into her seat. It took everything inside of me not to reach over and drag her into my seat, consuming her with a long kiss that proved the underlying desires I had burning up my damn insides.
"Yes. Marco listened to them and said that Freddy confessed on them, though I'm still having a hard time swallowing that." She brushed her hair back, wafting the sweet smell of her skin in the air. My cock twitched painfully in my slacks.
As if she would let me within ten feet of her. As if I would hurt her again by trying.
"Me too." I started the car and pulled out, heading back toward my place. "Your brother was a wussy above all else. There's no way he had a spiteful bone in his body. He was a child. A coward."
"Okay!" She barked. "I get it."
"Sorry." I reached for her hand, squeezing it softly. She surprised me by turning her hand over and clinging to mine. I glanced down at our hands and back up at her. "I can't do this with us at odds, Izzy. It doesn't work out so well for me."
"Me either," she whispered and glanced out the window. "Marco originally said the tapes had nothing on them. Do you think he was lying to save Freddy, or do you think that he simply didn't listen to all of them?"
"I don't know. Knowing your brother's heart, he probably did it to save Freddy, but maybe that lie ate him alive?" I shrugged and pulled her fingers up to my lips, kissing them softly. "Forgive me for not being more attentive to you. You know my job comes first."
She ignored me. "My father really told you to stay away from me?"
"Yeah. He threatened me, which he hasn't done in a long time."
"And?" She turned to face me, her beautiful eyes wide, her lips so damn soft-looking.
"And it makes me want you even more, as if that shit is possible." I licked at one of her fingers. "You're going to be the death of me."
"Let's hope it's death by lust and not that I'm sent to put a bullet in your head."
"Right after you lure me to a hotel room and give me the false hope that I'm going to get to taste your pussy." I licked my lips and released her hand as she snorted. Poor Parker. The guy never stood a chance against our enforcer. I almost felt bad for the dick.
"Parker," she whispered reverently, her tone catching my attention.
"What is it?" I pulled into my parking spot and got out of the car, glancing up to see Nate and Timothy leaning over the main balcony, smiling and laughing.
"Audrey looks like Parker to me. That's why it's bothering me so much." Izzy brushed her fingers by her lips. "There's a lot of things nagging at me right now, but I just can't let this one go."
"Did Jonathan get back to you on her?"
"Yeah. She's clean, but anyone worth their position as a rat usually is." She glanced back at me, giving me a knowing look before bounding up the stairs in front of me.
I'd work through things with Nate and Timothy and then get rid of everyone and force her to take a nap with me. We might be forced apart due to Joe's desire to protect all of us, but that didn't mean I couldn't comfort her. It was part of my job as the head of the family.
Or it was today.
*
"So you're wanting me to get in with the Kallups by Friday?" Nate gave me a funny look as we sat at the table with his brother.
Izzy was in my bedroom, probably asleep by now. She was beyond beat up and needed to take the rest of the day to let herself heal. Joe would wonder where she was, but we'd make up something. I didn't need any more drama in my life, and my girl certainly didn't.
"Yep." I lifted my beer to my lips. "You able to make that happen?"
"I think so." Nate glanced over to his twin brother, Timothy. "You still talk to that old girl from high school?"
"Which one?" Timothy gave a shit-eating grin. The guy was an exact replica of Nate, but had a twang in his accent. From what I could tell, he was going to be perfect standing watch at the door. Much like Nate, Timothy was a Navy Seal from his younger days.
"Tanya." Nate tapped the table. "She's the nastiest bitch in this town. She'll know how to get me into the underground with the Kallups."
"True. If anyone can help you, it's her." Timothy shivered.
"Alright. You guys figure it all out, but be safe." I gave them a stern look. "Don't say a fucking thing about the Castalettas, or the Kallups are going to be the least of your worries."
"Not in a million years, boss." Nate stood up and stretched. "Tim will be at the house tomorrow morning, taking my place, and I'll be working on getting in tight with a Mister Thomas Kallup. Good?"
"Yep. And if you need us, just let us know. I think you'll have to prove yourself to the Kallups. We can help with that. Just reach out." I stood and extended my hand to both of them. "Be careful, Nate. These fuckers aren't the childish thugs we believed them to be."
"Right. You guys are heading out of town tomorrow, right?" Nate walked toward the door with his brother in tow.
"Yeah. We'll only be gone for the night, but wish us luck. Walking into someone else's turf without an invite is always a good time." I opened the door and moved back.
"You'll be fine. Just make sure you take care of that pretty girl in there." Nate nodded toward the bedroom. "She's hurting. I know you realize that, but just in case you forget... she might be our enforcer, the deadliest bitch in the universe, but underneath all of that-"
"She's still a woman. A soft, beautiful, incredibly sensitive creature," Tim picked up where Nate left off.
"And she's mine. Keep that in mind." I lifted my eyebrow and nodded toward the door. "Get outta here before I start to wonder about you two."
"Later boss." Nate nodded and walked out, Timothy following him.
I couldn't help but pause and smile as the two of them started cutting up not two seconds after they left me. Their joke was that I was going to beat their asses for noticing Izabella. No way in hell. I'd be whooping everyone's ass if that was the situation.
"They gone?" Izzy walked out of the bedroom
wearing nothing but a white button down. Her long hair hung around her shoulder, framing her face and accenting her perfect tits.
"Yeah," I breathed out. "Fuck. You gotta tease me, hm?"
"Not my intention." She shrugged and walked toward the table, picking up my beer and finishing it.
I watched her unabashed, wishing like hell things could be different between us. "We need to listen to those tapes. I assume your father is going to want to as well."
"He does. Let's do that tonight or tomorrow morning?" She set the beer down and turned to face me. "You want me to go?"
"No, but I can't let myself go with you right now. There's too much at stake, and I'm honestly not sure I'd survive another fuck where I didn't get to hold you afterward." I licked my lips, praying that she would offer up the right to hold her, making it all worth it.
"You're a liar." She walked toward me, sliding her hands up my chest. "And you and I are a hot fucking mess when we're together. Maybe we should just walk away for good?"
"Maybe you should hush and get some rest. You're talking nonsense. It's unlike you." I smirked and ran my hand down the side of her face before cupping her throat and squeezing a little. "I can still hear you moaning from our night together. I can almost feel you clench around me."
She took a shaky breath and reached out, brushing the back of her fingers by my cock as it twitched in my pants, begging for her to notice it. "And you don't want a friend with benefits relationship? Might be better than what we've allowed each other in the past."
I leaned in and nipped at her lips as aggression ran through me. "I don't want anything until I can have everything."
Her teasing expression faded. "Then don't think you can tell me where to lay my head at night, Demetri. Sex is the only release I get." She rubbed my chest and moved back. "And fucking yourself gets old after a while."
"Don't I know it." I released her and watched her walk back toward the bedroom. "You taking a nap?"
"No. I'm going to find Edward. He's less likely to deny me warmth." The door to my bedroom closed and my heart sank.
Of course she was running to Eddy. Everyone enjoyed a temporary hit when the thing they wanted most was inaccessible.
And why am I unwilling to give in? I glanced down, stroking myself once as my body screamed for release inside of her. I wanted more than anything to press my teeth into her flesh, my cock deep inside of her, to have my hands all over her soft skin, worshiping her like only I could.
"Then why?" I whispered and turned to walk into the kitchen. Was it to honor Joe's wishes? To keep myself from finding a gun pressed to my temple for disobedience?
No. None of those things frightened me.
Then what did?
The sound of the door in the living room closing behind her caused my heart to ache. It was simple. I would one lose her or two she would lose me. Death would find one of us in a dark alley, and then what?
How in the fuck would I survive her death if I let myself go completely with her now? If I let myself fall so deeply in love that nothing mattered but my Bella?
I couldn't. And as such, she would run to Eddy.
It had always been that way. It always would be.
Chapter 10
Edward
The dinner for Freddy was far more laid back than it should have been. Either most of the syndicate family didn't care about the kid, or they were trying hard to pretend like they didn't. Everyone singing Happy Birthday to D was the cherry on the shit sundae.
"Better him than me." I dropped my stuff on the kitchen table and pulled my sweater over my head. Izzy hadn't said much more to me after I left to grab the call from Jesse Parnz, our gambling capo out in Vegas. Seemed like business was going okay, but there was a leak in the cash flow. Jesse was sweating bullets, and he should be.
Joe didn't play with anyone, and the Parnz were on their last leg. I snorted at the thought of being on the wrong end of the gun from Don Castaletta, or worse, his beautiful enforcer.
My phone buzzed, stealing my thoughts. D. Damn.
"What's up?" I pulled out a chair and worked to unbutton my shirt.
"I know you're aware that Audrey is going to be working with Marcus on the narcotics ring-"
"D, if you wanted to call just to chat, all you gotta do is say so, man. No need to hide your true intentions by calling with something silly." I smirked, loving the fact that it wouldn't take much to piss the big bastard off.
"She's under your keep. Izzy is worried about her for some reason, so watch her closely. Marcus will do his part, but she's yours to mentor and such."
"Mentor?" I snorted again and chuckled. "Is Joe starting a new mafia mentorship program? Am I the pilot? I'm being punked, aren't I?"
"Keep her close by and if Izzy shows up at your place today, do yourself a favor, turn her away." The phone went silent as he dropped the call.
I pulled my phone from my face and studied it like it might grow wings and fly away.
"Interesting." I stood and pulled my shirt off my shoulders before working on my shoes as I walked to the bedroom. My apartment was big, extravagant, everything I wanted to call my own. Well, almost everything. "Izzy coming to visit? This day might have just gotten a lot better."
After sitting on the bed with a stupid grin on my face for a few minutes, I decided to up my chances of seeing her. A short text telling her that I was there for her for anything she needed.
I dropped back down on the cold sheets and closed my eyes, trying to remember how good it felt to have her pressed against me in the car not too long ago. Her body mine for a little while, but her heart completely locked away. The warm pleasure of sex was quickly chilled by my insane longing to matter more to her than I did.
"Eddy?" Her voice called from the living room.
"Yeah. I'm in here." I cupped my hands behind my head and watched as she stopped at the entrance to the bedroom.
"You know this isn't fair to you."
"Can we cuddle for a little while after? Looks like you could use it."
She glanced around the room, a smile lifting her lips. "I guess, but only today."
I laughed and sat up, my body waking up, my heart still aching. Reaching for her, I pulled her into my arms and pressed my face to her stomach as she wrapped her arms around me. "D told me to turn you away today. You guys fighting?" I glanced up at her, wanting to offer her the world, but knowing there was no way she would take it from me. I wasn't enough.
She nodded and brushed her fingers through my hair. "Tell me to leave, Eddy."
"Never," I whispered and captured one of her hands. Bringing her wrist to my mouth, I brushed my lips by her soft skin and breathed in. "I'd never turn you away."
"Not even if you were married and completely in love?" The pain in her eyes scored me. She moved to her knees and leaned forward, tucking her face against my neck and wrapping her arms around me.
"Never." I pressed my lips to the side of her hair before trapping her against me. "Not ever. I'll always be here for you. In any way you need me to."
"Why?" Her voice broke a little as she licked up the side of my neck.
Chill bumps broke out across my skin and my breath caught in my chest. "Because you're my Izzy."
"You're better than that." She moved a little, brushing her nose by mine, her lips softly over the tops of mine. "You're better than me."
"Hush, woman." I ran my hands up her back and held her face, taking her in. My cock ached in my slacks, but far worse than that was the deep thumping of my heart. "I want to say a million things, but they would all leave me bare before you. I'm honestly not sure I can handle that today."
"Then don't say anything. Just tell me where you want me." She kissed me a few times, pressing against my hands.
"In my arms for the night." I forced her to stop. "All night."
She nodded and stood up, pulling her shirt over her head. "And I suspect you think we'll make love and then cuddle."
"I could only hope." I stood and
ran my hands up her sides, cupping her breasts and rubbing my thumbs over her tight nipples. "Why won't Demetri take you, Izzy? Why does he keep rejecting you? How fucking stupid can he be? I'd give anything to have you to start with me. Not end here."
"Maybe that's what I should focus on too." She pushed at my chest, forcing me back on the bed.
I crawled up on the soft mattress, leaning back and watching her undress for me. For herself. Every cell in my body woke up, my pulse spiking, my muscles tightening.
"Come here and let me fuck you." I moved to my knees, reaching for her and yanking hard. She yelped and landed face first on the bed, her beautiful body on display for me. I pressed my chest to her back and kissed the top of her shoulder as she moaned softly. "Maybe I should refuse you when we're done. Send you packing?"
She laughed, and I smiled before moving down her back to run my lips down the soft skin of her perfect ass.
"Please send me on my way? I deserve to-" She gasped loudly as I jerked her hips up and pressed my mouth to her sweet center, tapping her clit with my tongue and squeezing her ass and thighs with more pressure than I normally would.
She needed someone to take her mind off of things. I wanted to be that someone - whatever, whoever, however she needed me.
*
She was gone when I woke the next morning, the sun having yet to rise. Our night of tearing up my sheets played through my mind as I forced myself up to take a hot shower. I had to see what was going on with Audrey and Marcus. Was she still at the whore house and if so, did she need a new place to live? Had she worked out a schedule with Marcus yet?
"Why the fuck is this my problem?" I got in the shower and ran my hands down my body, tugging on my dick as I let the shower fade and the sound of Izzy whimpering fill my mind.
"I love how big you are." She rolled her hips, her back to me as she sat on my lap, fucking me reverse cowgirl, which seemed to be her favorite.
"I love how well you take me, how tight your little pussy is." I reached up and gripped her shoulder as she dug her fingernails into my thighs. "Make sure you're touching your clit."
