“How’s Jenna?”
“She’s worrying herself to death waiting to hear something from the hospital. It’s taking a toll on her, all this stress. I wish there was something I could do. I’m worried about her.”
***
About an hour after Allie arrived, Jenna returned home after a long shift exhausted. She was starting to lose sleep from all the stress and worrying about her job. At this point, she was only guaranteed two more months at the hospital. If she didn’t hear anything by the end of the month, she would have to start looking elsewhere to settle down and start a new life. If she stayed, she would also be looking to buy her first house, which was also causing her stress. On top of that, she had Kris to worry about. She wanted to take Kris in her arms and confess her feelings for her, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of them if she had to leave soon. Every time the phone rang, she jumped not knowing if it was the call that would tell her if she would be able to stay or if she would have to move on.
Jenna removed the elastic band holding her ponytail in place and ran her fingers through her hair. It was all she could do to force a smile before collapsing onto her side on the floor where she curled up beside Jax.
“Please tell me you’re off tomorrow. You need some rest before you worry yourself to death,” Kris said.
Jenna rolled over onto her back and stretched. “I’m off tomorrow, but I’ll not be able to relax until I can start planning my future.”
Kris lifted her arms and opened them. “Come here. I think you need a hug.”
Jenna stood up and walked over to Kris. She bent down and wrapped her arms around her. She had to bite her tongue to hold back the tears that were waiting behind her tightly closed eyelids.
Allie came across the room to join them. “I want to get in on the action too.”
After the hug was over, Allie pulled Jenna towards the door. “Let’s go take Jax for a walk. Maybe that’ll make you feel better.” She turned to Kris. “We’ll be right back, Kris.”
Jenna walked ahead of Allie trying to compose herself. A few minutes passed and Allie caught up to her. Allie hooked her arm around Jenna’s.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Allie asked.
Jenna continued to stare down at the sidewalk in front of her. She shook her head no.
Allie tugged on Jenna’s arm. “That’s fine, but I think I know what is going on, and I want you to know that I’m here for you if you change your mind.”
Jenna came to a stop. Her mind raced. Does she know? She was dying to confide in someone, but was Kris's best friend the right person to confess her feelings to?
Allie watched Jenna’s expression change. “I already know Jenna, and I promise you whatever we discuss will stay between us. I’ve known since last weekend.”
“How did you know? I just found out, myself, a few days ago.”
“I knew at the cookout. I caught you looking at Kris a few times while she was busy talking to the other girls. It was the same way I used to stare at Danni before we started dating. I was also suspicious that you chose a dare instead of a question last weekend. You enjoy flirting with her too. I see the way you light up every time Kris enters the room.”
Jenna continued to stare at the sidewalk beneath her feet. She didn’t look up. “I know she feels the same way.”
Jenna took a deep breath and began walking again. It felt a little exhilarating to acknowledge how she felt out loud to someone else, even though it wasn’t the person she wanted to tell.
Allie walked alongside her in silence. Jenna stopped in front of the park where her feelings for Kris had first started developing over frozen yogurt. She sat down on the bench at the entry to the park, and Allie sat down beside her. “This is where I first started seeing Kris differently. I’m still not sure how to define it, but I haven’t been the same since then.”
“Have you ever felt this way before?” Allie put her arm around Jenna.
Jenna rested her head on Allie’s shoulder. “No, never. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to tell her how I feel, but....”
“Don’t worry. Just thinking about another woman doesn’t make you a lesbian. You don’t need to label your sexuality based on that.”
Jenna stood up and turned away from Allie. She wasn’t sure how much to tell her or how much of it would find its way back to Kris. She was conflicted, but right now she had no one else to talk to. She turned back around to face Allie and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “This is all new to me. Yes, it’s a little scary, but that isn’t the problem.”
Allie bent down to pet Jax, who was eager to continue the walk. “What do you think the problem is?”
“The problem is my future is uncertain at this point. I don’t want to start a relationship now not knowing if I have to pick up everything and leave.” Jenna paused. She could feel herself getting upset again. “I also don’t want to lose her either. What if I do get to stay, but she finds someone else before I get a chance to tell her how I feel?”
Allie threw her head back and laughed. “I promise you that won’t happen. When Kris has her mind set on something, she doesn’t stop until she gets it. Let’s just say she’s pretty focused and determined to win your heart.”
Jenna grinned for the first time in a long time. “Thanks, Allie. I feel a lot better now. I know you two are best friends, but please don’t tell her anything we’ve discussed.”
Allie stood up. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’m just a spectator waiting to see how this plays out, but I’m cheering for the two of you. I’ll keep Kris occupied. You just focus on work and let them know how much you deserve that position.”
Chapter Ten
Jenna was able to sleep better that night after talking with Allie. The next morning She got up feeling refreshed and energized. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She made a resolution to only think positive thoughts. She had read somewhere that good things happen when you open yourself up and allow positive energy to flow into your life. She thought it was worth trying. Besides, all these negative thoughts were getting her nowhere and only caused more stress.
She started her day with a morning run before Kris got up. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to bring water and didn’t have any cash on her either. By the time she returned, she was sweating and in desperate need of quenching her thirst.
Kris was in the kitchen when the side door swung open and Jenna dashed past her like someone was chasing her. Startled, Kris hopped up on the counter before Jenna knocked her over.
Jenna bent over the table heaving and gasping for air. She then turned to find Kris sitting on the counter stunned, trying to figure out what was going on. A tall glass of water sat beside her on the counter. She lunged towards the glass and managed to drink half before having to stop and catch her breath.
Kris was still perched on top of the counter staring wide-eyed at Jenna. “Are you okay? You scared me to death.”
Jenna rolled the cool glass across her forehead and flushed cheeks while her breathing calmed down. “I’m better now. I forgot to take water with me this morning, and I’m thirsty as hell.”
Kris pointed to the now half empty glass in Jenna’s hand. “I had already taken a few sips from that glass, you know? Thought you had a thing about germs?”
Jenna took another long sip and finished the rest of the glass. She walked towards the sink, which happened to be just to the right of Kris. Kris's legs were spread apart just enough for Jenna to squeeze between them. She put her left hand down on the counter beside Kris and stretched to the right around her, placing the glass in the sink.
The heat between them was undeniable and it had nothing to do with her run. She placed her right hand on the counter on the other side of Kris, pinning her on the counter. She leaned in further pressing her waist into Kris’s thighs. “I said I don’t drink after anyone I wouldn’t kiss.” She backed away.
Kris hopped down off of the counter. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jenna turned to exit the kitchen and glanced back over her shoulder. “It means what it means, but it doesn’t mean it will happen.” She sprinted up the stairs before Kris had a chance to respond. Had she taken it too far this time? The flirting was escalating on both sides and that’s all she could do for now. She wanted to keep Kris interested without getting involved. It was a selfish thing to do, but it would only be a few more weeks at the most. After that, she would either have to cut Kris loose or she would be free to pursue a relationship with her.
***
After Jenna ran upstairs, Kris made coffee. She hoped a few cups would help her process what just happened. A phone rang, but it wasn’t hers. Jenna had left her phone on the kitchen table. She picked it up and looked at the number, but there wasn’t a name listed with it. She ran upstairs to find Jenna.
When she reached the top of the stairs, she heard the shower running. She knocked on the door and waited for a response, but Jenna didn’t say anything. She opened the door a little, but the ringing stopped. “Jenna, you missed a phone call.”
The water turned off, and Jenna peeked out from behind the frosted sliding shower door. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the shower. What did you say?”
Kris pushed the door open further, not sure if Jenna was still in the shower or not. She glanced towards the shower. The outline of Jenna's body was visible behind the frosted glass. She waved the phone at her. “You missed a call, and I wasn’t sure if it was important.”
Jenna dried her hands on the blue striped towel hanging on the wall before taking the phone from Kris. “Thanks. It was Brian from the hospital. He’s a coworker of mine.”
That was a name Kris didn’t remember her mentioning before. A wave of jealousy washed over her. “I hope it wasn’t an emergency.”
“He would’ve left a message if it was that important, but thanks for letting me know. He’s a nice guy, but he keeps asking me out for a drink.”
Kris stared at the floor unable to look at her. “Are you interested in him?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she felt she needed to ask anyway. She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the large lump in her throat. Her eyes stung from holding back tears as she braced herself for Jenna’s response.
Jenna reached out handing the phone back to Kris letting her hand linger on Kris's longer than necessary. “Like I said, he’s a nice enough guy but I’m focused on work right now. He’s not my type anyway.”
Finally, Kris could breathe again. Maybe she still had a chance with her. Of course, Jenna needed to remain focused on her job, and she didn’t want to pester her like Brian was. She knew she’d have to play it cool and not distract her in any way or else Jenna’s career and their possible future could be in jeopardy.
“It sounds like you’re doing the right thing. Your career should be your main priority right now. Everything else will fall into place afterwards.” Kris smiled and closed the door behind her.
***
Jenna picked up on Kris’s jealousy. Hurting Kris was never her intention. She wished Brian’s name had never been mentioned. Her mind drifted as she turned the shower back on. The thought of inviting Kris into the shower with her got her worked up, and she imagined Kris getting undressed. She adjusted the faucet so that cool water pulsated from the shower head almost in rhythm to the pulsations she was feeling. The cool water still wasn’t enough to extinguish the burning desire rising up within her.
She closed her eyes and placed both hands against the wall. She leaned her face against the shower tiles, feeling the coolness contrast against the fever in her cheeks. She fantasized about having Kris pinned between her and the wall, the same as she had done downstairs on the counter. If thoughts could make her feel like this, it was beyond her imagination what it would be like if her thoughts became a reality.
She concentrated on the water running down her back, imagining it was Kris's hands and fingers instead. She leaned her head back into the shower stream and imagined Kris showering her face with kisses. She felt like she was going to explode. She lifted her left leg and rested it on the edge of the tub with her knee pressed into the corner of the shower. Her hand ran up the inside of her thigh, and she imagined it was Kris's fingers rubbing against her until she had an orgasm.
When she opened her eyes, she slid the shower door open enough to make sure the bathroom door was still closed. She hoped Kris hadn’t heard her. She turned the water off and grabbed the towel. How much longer did she have to hide her feelings? It wasn’t fair and one phone call had all the power to change that.
She opened the door of the bathroom at the same time Kris came out of her bedroom across the hall. Consumed in their own thoughts and not paying attention, they collided causing Jenna to let go of her towel. She turned her back to Kris and managed to catch the towel after it passed the small of her back, not fast enough. She snapped the towel back up and tucked the edge in again.
She turned back around to face Kris. Her hair was dripping wet sending droplets of water down around her bare shoulders. Even though she had managed to wrap the towel back around her and tuck it in where it overlapped near her cleavage, there was still enough for Kris to take in. The towel was short and barely covered her bottom and top. The top of her cleavage peeked out above the towel, and she tugged at the towel trying to cover more of her upper thighs.
“I’m so sorry, Kris, I wasn’t expecting you to be up here.” She fidgeted with the towel some more.
“Are you kidding? Running into a beautiful woman who is only wearing a towel is nothing to apologize for.” Kris smiled and winked at her.
She noticed for the first time how perfect Kris's smile was. “We do seem to keep running into each other, don’t we?” She twisted a lock of hair around her finger and looked up at Kris.
“Maybe I was meant to see that tattoo you’ve been hiding on your lower back. What is it? I could only see part of it.”
“Sorry, only a few people have seen it, and that’s a short list.” She turned and walked towards her bedroom.
“How does one go about getting on the list?”
Jenna laughed and shut the door behind her, but her laughter faded when she saw her phone on the bed reminding her of her uncertain future.
Chapter Eleven
The next few weeks went by slow while Jenna waited to hear any news from the hospital. The Chief of Surgery invited all the surgeons to a formal dinner at the country club. Jenna knew most of the faces and had heard some of the names before, but there were still some people she didn’t recognize. She always felt awkward in social gatherings, especially around a lot of people she didn’t know. She took a sip of her drink and looked across the room at Kris.
Jenna was glad she had invited Kris to the dinner. Kris was the complete opposite of her when it came to socializing. Kris knew most of the people at the party, which was no surprise because she knew everyone. If she did meet someone new, they were no longer strangers by the end of the conversation. She could find something in common with anyone and use that to keep the conversation going. If networking were a sport, Kris would earn a gold medal.
Part of it was her job, but most of it was just her being herself. She was kind, genuine, and took an interest in the person she was talking to. She never judged anyone. She wore her heart on her sleeve and took people for their word. Jenna had learned from Allie that this had gotten Kris hurt before. She had trusted people who were not trustworthy. Girlfriends had taken her for granted and abused Kris's unconditional love. Even after finding out about them cheating, she continued to believe their lies when they promised her it would never happen again.
It broke Jenna’s heart to know the pain Kris had gone through. Jenna had wanted unconditional love all her life, and here was Kris giving it out but never receiving it back. If she had the chance, she would make sure Kris received the love she deserved. She was still learning about love herself, but she was sure Kris could help her figure it out.
Kri
s wrapped up another conversation and smiled as she walked towards Jenna. Jenna held out the drink she picked up for Kris. As she got closer, Jenna admired her natural beauty. Kris almost never wore makeup, but when she did it was natural and barely noticeable. In Jenna's opinion, she didn’t need any cosmetic help.
“I didn’t want to interrupt your chat with Dr. Stevenson,” Jenna said.
Kris took the drink from Jenna. “You should have joined us. The chief kept going on and on about how talented you are.”
Jenna took another nervous sip making a mental note to pace herself. If she kept this rate up, Kris would have to carry her out from drinking too much. “Yeah, right.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Brian approaching.
Brian extended his hand to Kris. “Well, now I understand why you turned me down all those times. I don’t blame you.”
Kris smiled, but looked to Jenna for an explanation.
Jenna moved closer to Kris and put her arm around her shoulder. “Kris, this is Dr. Brian Tolson.” Kris's smile faded a little when she heard his name. “Brian, this is Kris Fletcher.”
Brian smiled at Kris. “Did you two know each other before Jenna moved here?”
Jenna answered for Kris. “Actually, we met after I arrived in town, and we’ve been pretty close since.”
Brian’s eyes darted back and forth between Jenna and Kris. He nodded his head. “Yes, I can see that.”
Kris's smile returned. She realized Brian presumed they were a couple, but what made her feel even better was the fact that Jenna didn’t correct him. She liked the way Jenna had her arm around her and the way it felt to be a couple, even if it was a show for Brian. Kris decided to play along also. She brought her left hand up to her shoulder where Jenna’s hand rested. She put her hand on top of Jenna’s and left it there, and Jenna didn’t pull away. She had no idea what Jenna and Brian were discussing, something about a surgery from the week before.
Everyone’s attention was directed towards the front of the room where Dr. Stevenson, the Chief of Surgery, was about to make a speech. Brian extended his arm towards the front. “After you.” He motioned for Jenna and Kris to go first.
Jenna's Awakening (Dr. Jenna Harper Series Book 1) Page 6
