by Cassie Allee
“I wonder what’s going on…”
“What do you mean?” Mom answered my noisy thought.
I realized what I had just done, again, and scrambled to try and think of an explanation. “Oh nothing, just talking to myself…again.” I muttered. She gave me a sideways look and went into the house without another word. When she was out of earshot I asked Gray what was on his mind. He shuffled his feet for a minute and I watched patiently, noticing the dirt beneath his shuffling feet wasn’t moving.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just being a girl about this whole thing, I guess.” He said.
“The Joey thing? You’re not scared, are you?”
“I’m just scared that it’s not going to work. He has your life in his hands! I mean, look at yourself. You look like a zombie! Your clothes are baggy and your eyes are sunken in. You look like you haven’t slept in days. I don’t think you see how bad it’s getting.”
I let all of his worry roll off of my shoulders. “I don’t feel bad though. I’m fine. I might be getting a little rough looking, but I don’t think it’s taking as big of a toll on me as you think.
Gray hung his head low and gave me a look that showed me that he was irritated and thought that I was crazy. I rolled my eyes and then he turned and walked into the house, motioning me behind him.
I really did feel fine other than I was more tired than usual. I could see the change in my appearance, but I wasn’t hallucinating or anything. I figured that Gray was probably just being over protective. He always looked out for my wellbeing as if he were my parent so I decided that he was just worrying too much. I found myself thinking, again, about how I hoped he had been a dad before he died. If Gray could have a child, than that child would be the most loved and looked after child on the planet.
Risk still hadn’t made it back to the house yet, but he had left the kitchen sparkling clean, and Mom was gushing over his chivalry. I found my dress hanging by the front door, freshly pressed, with a note on the clear garment bag that said, “Can’t wait to see you in this!” Mom was frantically pointing to it while grinning like an idiot. I never told her about how Risk had grown up. I never told her how he had always had to take care of himself and his parents. I’d never asked him to tell me much about his life other than the things that I had seen myself, because I really didn’t think that was something that he wanted to re-live and I knew he would tell me eventually if he wanted me know. I only knew that he worked his ass off at some garage that only paid him minimum wage and didn’t care whether or not he got an education. They were constantly insisting that he miss school so that he could come in and work. I also knew that his “parents” made him support their bad habits and that he often had to shower them so they wouldn’t be passed out in their own mess all day. They physically and verbally abused him daily and had beaten him down so much that he thought that the treatment they gave him was all that he deserved. Risk told me that he had never once asked about his biological parents or gone looking for them, but his parents told him that after he was adopted they both died in a car accident. I wasn’t convinced that they were telling the truth.
That was all I knew for now, and honestly, I wasn’t sure that I could handle knowing any more. I wished that he knew a loving family like I had growing up. Of course, we had our ups and downs, but I knew love from the day that I was born. Gray had also been a huge influence in my life. He taught me how to climb trees and find worms, and he explained to me the importance of making sure that your loved ones knew that they were special to you every day. He made sure that I always treated others with kindness and respect, and he always kept a watchful eye on me, but from a distance so that I could choose my own path. He was always there to remind me to do the right thing, even when I didn’t want to.
My thoughts wandered back to the conversation at breakfast. I was completely freaked out by the idea of marriage, but if Risk ever wanted to marry me than I would get hitched tomorrow. I knew that he was the one for me and I loved him with all of my heart and I was going to make sure that he knew it every day. Asking him to move in with me whenever school was over would be inevitable. My mom would be moving her things out, and Risk always stayed with me when she wasn’t home anyway. It just seemed like the economical thing to do, or that’s how I decided I was going to explain it to him. He didn’t need to be paying rent on a nasty run down trailer when he wasn’t even staying there anyway.
All of these thoughts were jumbled in my head as I waited for Risk to get to my house. I waited down stairs until I had to start getting ready for the dance. I sent him a quick text to tell him that I was getting ready and that he had better not be late or my mom was going to freak. Gray hung out with me while I got ready, but he made fun of me most of the time. I put more makeup on than normal trying to cover up the dark circles beneath my eyes and spent some time doing extra things like lip gloss and eyeliner instead of just a swipe of mascara like I normally did. As I was shooing Gray away so that I could put on my dress, I heard the doorbell ring and Risks voice coming from downstairs.
I couldn’t wait to see him and show him the dress that he had gotten for me. I slipped into it and stood for a moment to admire myself in the mirror. I didn’t look as sick and tired as I had this morning and the canary yellow material hung on my curves in just the right way. I was feeling frozen in time when I heard a knock at my bedroom door and Mom came in. She wiped a tear away from her eye and told me how beautiful I looked. She then started looking around my room with a confused expression.
“Where’s all of your furniture?” I had forgotten that she hadn’t seen my room since my nightmares literally came true.
“Um, well, I’m grown up now and I didn’t want the same furniture that I had in second grade…I guess, I’m remodeling.” I said and smiled awkwardly. I could tell that she didn’t believe my explanation, but at least it shut her up.
“Risk is downstairs waiting. He looks good enough to eat!” Mom said and I couldn’t hide my excitement at hearing his name. I grabbed my shoes and rushed downstairs to meet him. When our eyes met I could feel the electricity between us and my body felt as if it were on fire as I watched him devour every inch of me with his eyes. He had his hair fixed, but it looked like he had carefully placed the chunks so that it looked professionally messy. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a yellow vest and tie that matched my dress and perfectly complimented his green eyes. He walked over to me with a clear box that had a yellow rose corsage in it, then slipped it onto my wrist.
Mom snapped a billion pictures before shuffling us out of the door. I tossed Risk the keys to the Delray when we were outside and he opened my door for me. After Risk climbed into the driver’s seat Gray appeared behind us in the car.
“Are you going to prom with us?” I asked and gave him a sarcastic smile.
He smiled in return and said, “Nope, I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are Spud.” Then he turned to speak to Risk. “You take care of her Risk. She’s my best friend and it’s your responsibility as a good man to make sure she is safe and happy.” Gray looked seriously at Risk and Risk gave him an understanding nod.
“You be careful too, okay?” I said, “And when you’re done talking with Roletta, find us so that we know you’re okay.”
Gray nodded and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before disappearing again. Risk laced his fingers with mine and brought my hand to his lips as we started off down the road towards the prom.
On the way there we slowed to see the increasing number of Lost Ones that were invading our town. I had often fantasized about talking with someone about my gift, someone that actually believed me, but I never thought that there would actually come a day when it would finally happen. Risk told me that if it weren’t for me than he would still be in denial about his own gift and that he felt like talking with Gray had opened up a whole new life for him. He explained how close he and Gray had gotten since the first time he saw him, and that he felt a special connection to him from the st
art.
It wasn’t long before we got to the school and I was starting to get nervous. What if someone threw punch on my dress? I don’t normally let myself get anxious about those things, but my dress was special and it would completely ruin our night. Risk must have noticed the sweat on my brow because he put a gentle hand on my knee and smiled warmly at me. It was a simple gesture, but it made me feel so much better. He made sure to open the door for me when we got out of the car and when we entered the school gymnasium.
It looked like someone had vomited streamers in there. It was typical prom décor, but somehow the proms that I had seen on TV seemed much more extravagant. We were a small town high school so the streamers were apparently all they had money for in the budget. There were a few balloons and a table with punch on it, but I wasn’t drinking from it. I could just imagine the things people had been putting into it already. I giggled at Risk nervously and he took me to some tables so that I could be eased into the social awkwardness.
I wasn’t normally a nervous person, but when I was anxious, it wasn’t because of ghosts. Ghosts I could deal with, but awkward teenage high school life was another story. I was an outcast, and everyone made sure that I knew it, so I was completely surprised when the group of Mean Girls started to make their way over to our table. When they sat down at the other seats at our table I started to say something smart ass, but Skank Numero Uno beat me to the punch.
“Hey Risk. How’s it going?” She batted her fake eyelashes at him and her lips curled up into a devilish grin. I knew exactly what was on her mind and my blood started to boil. Her fellow bitches started to laugh and looked at me as if I were a stinking garbage can, but Risk didn’t miss a beat. He cut off their laughter saying, “I’m doing great! Just enjoying the view.” When I looked at him he was romantically gazing into my eyes. I almost forgot that they were there until I heard a scoff and turned to see the skank rolling her eyes at me. I smiled at her, and it must have made her braver. She grabbed Risks knee and leaned in to whisper something into his ear. His face turned red for a moment so I knew that whatever she had said to him was surely provocative. These girls played for blood and I was only collateral damage. Risk held his ground though, and shrugged her away with a polite smile, but his words were bitter.
“No thanks. I don’t like leftovers, especially after they’ve been through the entire town. I’m all set with the hottest girl in school already, so why don’t you go find someone more on your level.”
All three girls dropped their jaws and gawked at Risk for a moment. The head mean girl, Trina, got herself together first and moved to throw her punch all over Risk. Just before her cup left her hand my reflexes kicked into high gear and I slapped the cup back onto her. Not a drop was spilled on Risk, but her dress (which was probably the most expensive in the room) was drenched in red punch. I couldn’t believe that I had just done that, but I stood proud and looked her right in the eye and said, “Not today.” The mean girls gathered up their tiny purses in a hurry and scurried off to the bathroom to figure something out about the bitches dress. Knowing Trina she might demand someone trade clothes with her, and her minions wouldn’t even blink before obeying her command.
I was still on cloud nine when I heard Risk say, “I don’t know why you’ve let all of these people punk on you for all of those years. You’re such a badass, and did I mention how incredibly sexy that is?”
I laughed at him and he pulled me onto the dance floor. A slow song was playing so he pulled me close and I nuzzled my head into his chest. I got lost in the movement and the smell of him for a few glorious moments and forgot everything that was going on around me. Risk moved his hand around to my face. He hooked a finger under my chin and tilted my face up so that we were eye to eye.
“I’ve never been so happy before in my life. I never knew what life was until I met you. My real parents didn’t want me and my adoptive parents, for some reason, hated me. I never thought that anyone could love me, especially not someone as amazing as you.”
I smiled at him and hugged him tight. “I love you Risk. I’ve always felt like I didn’t need anyone until you came around. You’re like the other half of my soul. You’ve accepted all of me, even the crazy part, and I’m so glad that you and Gray get along so well.”
Risk chuckled a little. “Yeah, he kind of grows on a person. He keeps a good eye out for you and I love that. He would’ve made a great father. He’s even tried laying the law down on me a few times.”
I laughed too, remembering all of the times that Gray and I had argued about silly things. There had been times when I said really mean things to him just hoping that he would go away and not pretend to be my conscience, but he never gave up on me. He took my rude comments with a grain of salt and stood his ground. He never lost his temper even once, and sometimes I seriously deserved to be knocked out. It was normal teenager stuff, but you would’ve thought that Gray had years of experience dealing with snot-nose kids with as much patience as he had with me.
When our song was over, Risk grabbed my hand and led me back to the table. When we got out of the crowd of people I saw that Gray was sitting there waiting for us. I couldn’t shake my good mood, but I was afraid to smile at him. I didn’t know how his attempt at talking to Roletta had gone and I felt bad that he had to go through it alone. Risk broke the ice, trying to be discreet but loud enough so that Gray could hear him over the loud music.
“How did it go, buddy?”
Gray looked up at us and I was glad to see he that he looked triumphant, but he also looked worried. “It was…okay.”
I didn’t like that he was being so vague, so I started asking questions. “What do you mean, okay?” I said.
“Well…I got her to listen, but now she’s asking to speak with you, Mar.”
“Oh…well, we’re supposed to bring her and Joey together tomorrow morning. How is this supposed to work?”
Gray cringed. “She’s here, outside in the parking lot. She wants to speak to you alone or she won’t speak to anyone.”
Risk had been quiet until Gray said that I had to go alone. “Oh hell no! Absolutely not! It’s way too dangerous.”
I looked at him sympathetically and shrugged my shoulders. I knew that he was scared, but it was the only way our plan would work, and something had to be done. According to Joey I was going to die from exhaustion sooner or later if things continued so it really wasn’t much of a risk. He quickly understood that this was our only option and said, “I didn’t think that this would ever actually happen…shit.” And he plopped down into his seat with an over exaggerated sigh. I grabbed my purse that matched my dress and bent to kiss Risk. I didn’t want to make it seem as if it were a goodbye kiss, so I made it short and sweet. I nodded and smiled at Gray and then I turned to go meet Mrs. Harper.
I looked for a few minutes amongst the crowded parking lot before I spotted her. She was dressed in a pretty dress and had her hair all pinned up. Her expression was hard and unreadable and instead of standing with slumped shoulders, like most ghosts, she stood with her head up high as if she were proud. That was very unusual for an angry ghost. I approached her slowly and she smiled a polite smile at me. I stopped about twenty feet in front of her and took a moment to check out my situation. She stood patiently waiting for me to speak first.
“Hello Mrs. Harper. I’m Marlee Chase, I’m an acquaintance of your son and husband.” She nodded at me and simply said, “I’m aware.” Her voice was like silk and it made me more nervous. “I would like to ask you a few questions, if that’s okay.”
“That’s why I’m here Miss Chase. Ask away.”
I cleared my throat. “Could you please tell me how much of your life you remember?”
“I’m sorry, but I remember nothing. Your…friend filled me in on some of it, but he couldn’t convince me that my life was something that I needed to remember. He thought that maybe you could change my mind, but it sounds tragic and I don’t see how you could come up with a better reason
for me to go through the pain of remembering the loss of a child.”
Her red eyes started to flare and I swallowed hard trying to keep my cool. “I understand what I’m asking you to go through, but you have to understand that you’ll be saving so many other souls, and hopefully you’ll be saving your own too.”
Her image flickered before suddenly appearing right in front of me. I gasped, but I stood my ground. I had to show her how serious I was, no matter how hard she tried to scare me. Her face had changed to a mess of anger and she made a growling sound in her throat.
“Do you have any idea what I can do to you, girl? I can bring you straight to my hell, right now.”
I didn’t like her threatening me. It sent all thoughts of fear away and replaced them with anger. I pushed my head forward so that our noses were almost touching and said, “You can do whatever you want to me, but if you do, your child will never know real happiness or peace in his death. He will wander this world forever carrying around the same hate that you feel. You’ll condemn him to the after-life that you’ve been living all of these years. Don’t you feel the pain that you carry with you?”
She backed off at hearing the anger in my own voice and her face softened into a worried expression.
“Do you know how I died?” She asked in a whisper.
I took a deep breath. “After two years of living with the grief you felt with Joey’s death, you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore and you shot yourself. He couldn’t remember much about his life when I found him, but something sparked his memory when we visited your old house and all of his memories came back. He thinks your death is all his fault, Roletta. He’s hurting people because he’s just as angry as you, it’s tearing him up inside. You have to help him. He’s your baby, whether you remember him or not.”
Roletta’s eyes welled with tears and she clamped them shut. I stood silently waiting for the storm to brew and for her to tear me to pieces, but instead, she opened her eyes. It was hard to see in the dark and she had backed away from me some, but I could see that the glow of red was gone and she was sobbing. I carefully took a few steps towards her. The closer I got, the more I could see the chocolate brown color of her eyes that matched what I remembered of Joey’s before his transformation.
