But that night, lying in bed, Penny remembered the little boy who had shown her nothing but kindness and friendship. A flash moved through her mind of the two of them sitting on his front steps, she staring at the round, puckered scars for the first time, not understanding what she was viewing. And then he told her that his stepfather hurt him, she remembered tears squeezing from her eyes as her heart ached for him.
It was at his house where the accident occurred. She wondered what happened to him and hoped that he had been able to escape the man who hurt him. Rolling over and punching her pillow to fluff it to a more comfortable position, she wondered if sleep would ever come, considering her mind was all over the place.
Her conversation with Asher had certainly brought up so many memories that life and time had buried. Flopping to her back and staring up at the ceiling, she grimaced at the twinge of pain that shot from her hip down her leg. Breathing deeply for a moment until the pain subsided, she sighed. Thinking about the past will do no good. What she really wanted to figure out was if her story had scared Asher away since he left so abruptly. And if so, was there a way she could reconnect with the man who had come to mean so much to her?
* * *
Hours later, after a day at work where her closet-office felt confining instead of safe, she sat on the park bench. An opened but unread book lay on her lap. The minutes had clicked by, one by one, as her gaze cast over the park. The sun was beginning to shift to the top of the trees, and evening shadows would soon appear. Parents were gathering their children, who were still tossing kernels of corn to the ducks and geese, laughing as they pecked at each other.
There was a slight stinging behind her eyes, but she squeezed them closed while tightly pressing her lips together. Steeling her spine, she inhaled deeply through her nose before letting it out slowly. I’ve always been on my own. For years I fought my own battles. If he can’t handle my past and who I am now…
She opened her eyes, her gaze dropping to the book on her lap. She shut it and carefully placed it back into her bag before closing her fingers around her folded cane. She took another moment and looked around, memorizing the beauty and feel of the park, the trees in all their autumn glory and the pond in the middle. She knew that she would be back, not willing to give up such a peaceful place of respite, but she vowed to no longer come in the afternoons after work and wait for a man who was no longer interested in getting to know her.
Unfolding her cane, she pushed to a stand, slinging her bag to her shoulder. She had only taken one step when the movement by the pond caught her eye. Asher stood on the sidewalk staring at her. Not in running clothes, he wore jeans that fit his frame perfectly. A long-sleeved T-shirt, tight over his torso, with the sleeves pushed up showing the myriad of tattoos on his forearms. His fingers were shoved in his front pockets, and his head was cocked slightly to the side, his chin low as he looked up at her. From a distance, he appeared as a young boy, unsure of what he should do.
Uncertainty filled her also, but curiosity won out. She remained standing, making the decision that he would need to come to her. Her insides quaked as she waited, but his long legs ate up the distance as he walked toward her. As he grew closer, she could see the evidence of his uncertainty in his eyes as well.
“Hey,” he said, his hands no longer in his pockets but hanging awkwardly at his sides.
“Hi, Asher,” she replied. Her gaze dropped down to his work boots and back up again before adding, “You didn’t run today.”
Shaking his head, he said, “No. I had some problems at work that took up all my time. I knew I wouldn’t have time to go for a run before coming here to meet you. In fact, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it here before you left.”
“I see.” The truth was she did not see at all, having wondered if he had decided he no longer wanted to meet her at the park.
Dipping his chin to the side again, he asked, “Uh, do you want to sit? Or…uh…were you leaving?"
“I was getting ready to leave, but...um…I can sit.” She plopped down onto the bench then grimaced at both the pain in her hip and the unceremonious way she had sat.
Asher immediately moved forward, sitting close without touching but twisted his body so that he was facing her. “Penelope…uh…Penny…”
Despite the pain in her leg, she could not help but smile. Hearing her mother’s nickname on his lips sounded right. She looked at him, blush rising over his tatted neck and sought to assure him. “It’s fine, Asher. Really it is. Penny was the first name I knew. While I have very few memories of my mom, I can still hear her standing in the kitchen, calling for me.”
He reached over and placed his hand on hers and asked, “How old were you when you stopped going by that nickname?”
She looked back out over the pond, casting her mind back, and answered, “Probably about thirteen or fourteen. Children can be cruel, you know. Because I could not do everything the other kids did, I even had special accommodations at school for PE classes. One of my foster brothers started making fun of my name and adding that I was so worthless, I wasn’t even worth penny. That taunt quickly caught on to some others, and I grew to hate it.” Jerking her head around toward him, she amended, “I didn’t hate the nickname, I just hated the way they said it. When I went for my first job interview as a teenager, I wrote down my full name on the application. That’s what everybody there called me, and it just stuck as an adult.”
“And now?”
Shrugging, she admitted, “I don’t really know. At work, I’m still Penelope. But just now, hearing Penny from you, it sounded nice.”
He smiled, his eyes warm as he said, “Okay, then. Penny, it is.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, not as comfortable as it had been before, but still familiar. Unable to stop herself from asking, she blurted, “You seemed upset when you left yesterday.” An awkward silence ensued, so she continued, “I know it was a lot to lay on you all at once. But…um…well, I just thought that maybe…”
His hand on hers tightened. “Please, look at me, Penny.”
She shifted just enough to look at him, his face now so close to hers. Her breath halted in her lungs as she waited to see what he wanted to say.
His gaze never wavering, he said, “You’re right. I did leave abruptly, and for that, I’m so sorry. I was upset at what you told me, but not for the reason you might be thinking. It was just a lot to take in, and I hurt so much for you that you had to go through that.”
“It was a long time ago, Asher,” she whispered, her eyes dropping to his mouth, remembering the kiss they almost shared the previous day before the rain interrupted.
“It may have been a long time ago, Penny, but you have to deal with those ramifications every day.”
Her gaze moved back to his eyes, and said, "Lots of people have tough lives, Asher. Lots of people have physical limitations and ailments, down on their luck, rotten childhoods."
“But not everybody rises above the way you have. Especially the way life kept kicking you when you were down.”
He had moved another inch closer, and once more, she stared at his perfect mouth. Barely breathing, she said, “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
His arm had slid around the back of the bench, now cupping her shoulder, holding her close. His lips were now a whisper away, his breath warm on her face once again. “What do you want?”
Not willing to wait for another second, she tilted her head ever so slightly and closed the distance. The touch of his lips on hers filled her mind with swirling sensations. They were soft, and yet so strong. The hand holding hers shifted so that their fingers were linked while in her lap. His other arm, around her back, slid from her shoulder toward her neck, his fingers gently caressing the soft skin as he angled his head more for deeper contact.
She felt each subtle movement, but it was his lips that commanded her attention. She exhaled a small sigh, and he took the opportunity to touch his tongue to hers. Not a deep plunging. Not a heavy explorin
g. Just a touch. But from that simple touch of tongues, she melted into him, desiring everything he had to give.
She lost all sense of time as her world narrowed to the park bench, the man whose arms were wrapped around her, and his mouth on hers. He pulled away, and she immediately felt the loss. Her eyes shot open, and she saw the agony on his face. Embarrassed, she jerked back.
“Oh, no, baby,” he said, dropping his forehead to rest against hers. “Whatever’s going through your mind, shut that doubt down.”
Surprised at how he was able to read her thoughts, she did not have time to speak before he continued.
“The only reason I’m stopping is because I want everything with you, but I gotta tell my cock to chill out.”
She dropped her gaze down to his crotch and could see the bulge. Unsure what to say, a giggle slipped out instead.
“She gets me hard as a rock, and laughs about my misery,” he grumbled.
She sucked in her lips, stilling her mirth, and said, “I’m sorry, Asher. Really I am.”
“I want to walk you home, so that’s why I stopped kissing you. I need a moment to be able to walk straight.”
She looked down at their still clasped hands, knowing her smile was going to be impossible to hide. Thrilled that her kiss had had such an effect on him, she was equally thrilled that he wanted to walk her home.
Nodding, she said, “I’d like that.”
He stood and adjusted himself in his pants discreetly while she gathered her bag and cane again. Taking his hand, she allowed him to assist her up and over the grass to the path around the pond.
“The ducks and geese really snap at each other when they’re battling for the food, don’t they?” she said, both curious at the birds’ behavior and hoping to find a neutral topic of conversation.
They stopped and watched for a moment as the waterfowl continued to search for food, the geese honking loudly and occasionally snapping out their long necks and beaks toward another. “Kind of reminds me of some people,” Asher said.
Laughing, Penny nodded. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought about it that way.”
They continued on, his long steps slowing to match her gait until they reached his truck. It only took a moment for him to drive to her apartment. He bent his head to stare out of the windshield, up at her building.
“I know you’re proud of your apartment,” he began. “And I don’t want to make you feel bad.”
She swung her head around, not knowing what he was getting at. “What?”
“I hate that there’s so little security here,” he explained.
She turned and stared out of the windshield, following his line of vision. “I know,” she sighed. “When I moved in four years ago, I was so excited to finally have my own place. No more sleeping on friends’ sofas. No more nights at the homeless shelter.” A chuckle slipped from her lips as she admitted, “When I first moved in, I had no furniture. I slept on the floor until I could save up enough money to buy a bed.”
“Oh, Penny,” he said, but she quickly continued.
“It wasn’t as bad as you think." She turned and held his gaze, saying, “Don’t you see? It was mine. Mine. Not shared with anyone else. Not loaned or borrowed. Not a hand-me-down. But mine.” She looked back out the windshield and said, “I admit that I would like to get something in a safer neighborhood that might be a little bigger. I had hoped that would happen when I got the new position and a raise, but…"
“That’s not gonna happen?”
Frowning, she shook her head. “No. My boss is hiring his niece for the position even though she has no experience. He likes the work I do but prefers for me to stay in the background."
Before Asher had a chance to speak, she asked, “Would you like to come in again?”
His face fell as he admitted, “I want to make sure you get in safely, but I do have to go back to work.”
A crinkle appeared between her brows, and he said, “One of the buildings I work with is having some problems in the kitchen. I need to get back and make sure everything is running smoothly.”
He climbed out of his truck and walked around, assisting her down. Once inside her apartment, he did a walk-through, assuring that the windows were all locked and secure. Standing at her front door, he lifted his hand and cupped the back of her head, his thumb sweeping across the apple of her cheek.
“I’m glad you were there in the park today,” he said.
Her lips curved upward, and she replied, “And I’m glad you came to the park today to find me.”
“Will you go out with me?”
She blinked in surprise, uncertain of his meaning. “Out?”
“On a date,” he said, his smile firmly on his face but his eyes showing nervousness. “I know we’ve always met in the park, but I would like to take you out on a real date."
Her heart raced as she nodded. “I’d love that.”
They exchanged cell phone numbers, and he said, “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know when I’ll pick you up.” Then, standing at the front door, he bent and placed his lips on hers.
Just like in the park, she felt herself melt into him, not wanting the kiss to end. As he pulled away slowly, he kissed the end of her nose. “Lock up, Penny. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
With that, he was gone, and after she had flipped all the locks, she turned and leaned her back against the door. Lifting her hand to her still-tingling lips, she grinned widely, her heart lighter than it had been in years.
15
“If ever a man looked like he had something on his mind, it would be you.”
Asher looked up at Zeke and grumbled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He had spent the morning at the homeless shelter trying to get some more work done in the kitchen. While he had been instrumental in working with the city on renovating the building, once they took it over he still assisted with repairs, particularly in the kitchen where Zeke spent a lot of time.
When Zeke started running the restaurant for Grimm’s, he and Zander became partners. But both agreed that it would be for the evening hours only, not wanting to turn the bar into a full-time restaurant. Zeke had been instrumental in working for the homeless shelter’s kitchen since it was first opened and continued to work there every day before going to Grimm’s.
Several of the appliances were in dire need of repair, and Asher had spent the last several days making sure the kitchen was in good working order.
Now Zeke was staring at him, waiting for an explanation of his distracted mood. Normally, he felt as though he could talk to any of his brothers, but his feelings about Penny and the newly-discovered history they had together was too fresh for him to be able to discuss with anyone other than Miss Ethel.
“Nah, just thinking about what I’ve gotta do this afternoon at one of my apartments,” he semi-lied.
“Did you ever decide what to do about that house that was in your old neighborhood?”
He forgot that he had talked to Zeke and Cael about the house. Starting to pack his tools, he shook his head slowly, and said, “I just can’t do it. It would be a great house to redo and rent, but the bad memories from that street were too much for me to overcome.”
Zeke clapped him on the back, and said, “Then let it go. I think it’s great that you looked, but then I think it’s great that you decided it wasn’t the right thing for you. Plenty other houses around for you to be able to add to your real estate empire.”
Chuckling, he repeated, “Real estate empire? Not too sure about that.”
“Hell, bro. You got an apartment building and a bunch of houses to your name. I’d call that the beginning of an empire.”
Looking around the large room, he said, “I think this will keep you up and running, Zeke.” He leaned his hip against the counter and said, “What you do here is a good thing.”
Brushing off the praise, Zeke said, “You’re the one who got it started. All I do is come in here and help fix some breakfast and lu
nch. I like what I do, so I can’t really call it work.”
While he had wanted to help get the homeless shelter established, remembering the days when he and his mother lived in one, he knew that Zeke’s continued support came from deep, personal reasons as well. He never asked him about those reasons. All of Miss Ethel’s boys were close, but they each had their own secrets, sometimes buried in painful memories.
With handshakes and back slaps they said goodbye, and he hauled his tools out to his truck. It had been a while since he had been on his motorcycle, and he was beginning to feel the call of the road again. A flash of Penny riding on the back of his bike moved to his mind, and he furrowed his brow and thought. As much as he would like that to happen, he had no idea if her injuries would allow her to be able to ride comfortably.
It was afternoon by the time he pulled up in front of the apartment building, his mind now firmly focused on the date he planned for her that evening. He tried to push her from his thoughts, but as soon as he walked into the apartment, he could not help but compare it with the one she lived in now. Both were in older buildings, but his was in a much safer neighborhood, with larger rooms, windows with views, and the patio. He was ready to list the apartment for renters, but he kept seeing her there.
He had spent the previous night knowing that Miss Ethel was right about not taking on the guilt but was helpless to do so. He wanted to make her life better, easier. Double checking all the rooms to make sure it was ready to list, he wondered if she would like to look at some potential properties with him. Maybe she would even find one that she would like to live in.
* * *
Penny stood, staring into her closet, trying to figure out what to wear for her date. She had dress pants that she wore to work and jeans for comfort. She didn’t own a pair of shorts, capris, and certainly not a skirt or dress. She had once purchased a long, summer dress that would hang down to her shoes. She felt so feminine as the material swished around her legs, comfortable in the knowledge that her mangled scars were covered. But a brisk wind had caught the material, and even though it only lifted it a little, she felt naked. Mortified, she had clutched it tight to her thighs with one hand, hobbling with her cane in the other, until she could get home. Vowing never again, she just bought pants.
Asher: Heroes at Heart Page 11
