Kathy rose up a little in the bed. “You have the strangest look on your face right now. Are you okay?”
The irony of Kathy asking her that question made Sarah laugh. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just… I’m okay.” With an effort, she managed to turn her attention back to the book long enough to finish reading the story. She didn’t remember any of it later. Her mind raced as she started putting together puzzle pieces: the deer’s odd, human-like behavior, Owen’s certainty that Sarah would reject him once he revealed all his secrets. Everything made a strange sort of sense. As she finished the story, another thought occurred to her. She’d gone skinny-dipping that day at the pool.
“That little… I was naked!” she burst out. “And he was there.”
“Who was where when you were naked?” Kathy looked completely confused.
Sarah was saved from having to answer by a soft knock on the door. She and Kathy turned, and Kathy inhaled sharply when they saw who the visitor was.
“Mama!” Kathy struggled to get up, reaching for Eliza, and their mother hurried across the room.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.” Eliza tucked Kathy into her arms carefully, mindful of her injuries, and Kathy started to cry.
Nancy had stopped in the doorway, and she gestured to Sarah. Understanding, Sarah gathered her bag and joined her aunt in the hall. She closed the door behind her, and Nancy held her arms open for Sarah, who accepted the hug gratefully.
“Let’s get some air, shall we? They’re going to need a while.”
“There’s a little area downstairs the nurses showed me. We can go there,” Sarah said.
The tiny garden was deserted, and Sarah tossed her bag on top of the picnic table that sat to one side of the green space.
“How are you?” Nancy asked. She walked around, stretching her legs and her back.
“Okay. Coping. Did you all just get in?”
“Yes. We drove straight through from Knoxville. What a mess, Sarah. What a damned tragic mess.” She sat beside Sarah and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. She offered one to Sarah, then lit her own when Sarah declined. “Have you all talked to the funeral director yet?”
“Jack spoke to him earlier this week, and again yesterday, I think. Kathy isn’t able to talk about it, and we wanted to wait until Mama got here. He understood. I expect we’ll have to take care of that tomorrow.”
“God damn Randall Begley. Have you heard from his family?”
“Oh, yes. His mother blames Kathy for everything. Said he should have killed Kathy, instead of himself. They had to sedate her, she was so upset. Randall’s father is almost as upset, as you can probably imagine.”
“Well, they lost a son and two grandchildren, so they have every right to grieve. But Kathy’s not the one who pulled the trigger on that gun. He could have let her walk out. They’ll never see it that way, though.” Nancy stubbed the cigarette out in the tray on the table. “So what about you? Eliza said you’d been having some problems with your beau. Have you straightened them out?”
“No. I’ve still not heard from him. I guess Mama told you he went to London?” When Nancy nodded, Sarah continued. “Well, Kathy came up to the house Monday. That’s when she told me she was leaving Randall, but she also came to tell me she’d seen Owen with another woman. She and Randall had been down there, and she saw him.”
Nancy looked surprised, and Sarah shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting it, either. I tried again to call him after…well, after. I think he gave me the wrong number because it just rang and rang, unanswered. He’ll show up one day, or he won’t. Not much I can do at this point.” She sighed.
“I do hate that things have turned out like that between the two of you. I was rather impressed with him when I met him. I never would have expected him to act like that.”
“Neither did I, Nancy.” Sarah thought about the connection she’d made between Owen and the deer a short while ago. “I must be more tired than I thought.”
Her aunt sent her a quizzical look. “What makes you say that?”
Sarah laughed. “It’s nothing. I imagine you all are exhausted, as well.”
“It wasn’t an easy trip, no. We didn’t stop to eat lunch today. Neither of us was really able to think about it at the time, but I’m starting to get a little hungry now. Have you eaten?”
“No. We could get something from the cafeteria.”
Nancy stood and held out her hand. “I was thinking about the drugstore, actually.”
Sarah grimaced. “That’s probably not a good idea right now, unfortunately. I made that mistake Wednesday. I either got stared at like I was a leper or questioned nearly half to death. Until some of this with Kathy blows over, I’m avoiding public places as much as I can.”
“I was afraid of that. Cafeteria it is, then.”
After a quick lunch, they returned to the floor where Kathy’s room was. As they got off the elevator, Nancy asked Sarah about her job. “Are they accommodating you, or are you in trouble?”
“They’ve been wonderful. The director’s promised to hold my job as long as she can. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go back in a week or two.”
As they passed the waiting room, Sarah happened to glance inside. The sight of a tall, dark-haired man stopped her dead in her tracks. He had his back to the hallway, but when she gasped, he turned.
“Owen.” Sarah couldn’t move as he hurried toward her, concern etched on his face. When he reached out for her, however, she slapped his hand away with a smack that echoed in the small room. Not waiting to see how he would react, she ran down the hall and into the ladies’ room.
Both stalls were thankfully empty, and Sarah locked herself inside the smallest. She pressed her back against the door, heart hammering in her throat. For a minute, she thought she might throw up. Her hands were clammy, and she couldn’t think beyond the knowledge that Owen, finally, was there.
When Sarah calmed down enough to come out of the bathroom, Owen was waiting for her in the hallway. He’d been leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets, but when she came out, he straightened.
He looked tired, and Sarah was shocked to see that he appeared to have lost ten pounds, maybe more. The beard was unexpected, but he wore it well. She laughed bitterly to herself. He seemed to wear everything well.
“Your mom needs to see you,” he said. “Sarah, I—”
She cut him off by simply walking away. As much as she’d prayed he would return, she didn’t have the least bit of interest in having a discussion with him at the moment. She was too tired and devastated by everything that had happened that week to care what he had to say. She went straight to Kathy’s room and tapped on the door.
“Come in,” Eliza said quietly. “Kathy’s asleep. They gave her something to help her rest.” She met Sarah near the door and pulled her into a hug so tight, Sarah thought she might suffocate. She didn’t complain, though.
Eliza pulled back and looked at her. “You look tired.”
“I could rest. You don’t look like a bundle of energy yourself.”
Taking her hand, Eliza glanced over her shoulder. “I’m going to stay here with Kathy. If you could, take Nancy over to Gilly’s parents’ house and let Gilly get her settled in. Then I’m going to have Owen take you home. The doctor came in while you and Nancy were at lunch, and he’s sending Kathy home tomorrow. We’ll stay here while you, Gilly, and Jack get some rest.”
Her emotions on a rollercoaster, Sarah started to refuse to take anything from Owen, but her mother stopped her.
“Look, I know the two of you have some problems you need to work out. But right now, I don’t care. You’re both adults, and I expect you to act like it. Whatever’s going on between you, put it aside for now. At least until we get Kathy home. Okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Owen?” Eliza prompted.
“Whatever you need,” he responded.
Eliza nodded. “Good. I’ll tell Nancy. You two wait in the hall.”
Sarah and Owen took up positions on either side of the door. Sarah kept her eyes forward and tried to pretend he didn’t exist. Nancy joined them after a couple of minutes, and they made their way to Owen’s truck.
Even though the ride to Gilly’s parents’ was short, it felt like a special kind of torture to Sarah. Nancy had managed to ensure Sarah sat in the middle of the bench seat. Owen was pressed all along her left side, and as he shifted gears, she could feel the muscles in his thigh bunch and relax. She held herself as stiffly as possible, but it didn’t help.
Gilly came out on the porch as they pulled up, and even from the driveway, Sarah could see her eyes widen.
“When did you get in?” she asked Owen as she walked up to the truck. “We figured you’d been eaten by wolves.”
He had the grace to blush. “A little while ago. Nancy, I’ll carry your bag in.”
“Thanks, Owen.” Nancy started to get out of the truck. When Sarah attempted to follow, she said, “No. You stay here. I know you’re not happy to be riding with him. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll manage. Get some rest,” Sarah said as she gave her aunt a quick hug. While Nancy updated Gilly on the plan, Sarah moved over to take Nancy’s spot. She let her head rest against the back of the seat, and her eyes drifted shut. She hadn’t slept in days, her dreams running red with blood every time she laid her head down on the pillow.
When Gilly spoke to her through the passenger window, she was startled awake.
“I’ll pack up your things and bring them home tonight when Jack and I come back. We’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Owen got back in and backed out down the driveway. Sarah waved at Gilly and Nancy before turning to face forward. Sarah didn’t speak until they neared the turn-off for the road that led to Owen’s house nearly twenty minutes later. “If you want to, go ahead and drive to your place. I’ll walk down. I need the exercise.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He took the turn, and before long, the foot of his driveway came into view. It was nearly hidden and, unless someone knew it was there or were really looking, was easy to miss. Owen steered the truck off the road and started the climb around the side of the hill.
“How’s your uncle?” Sarah finally remembered to ask. Her thoughts had been racing around in circles so much, she felt lucky to be able to string the words together enough to form the question.
“Better. He finally got to come home last Friday, and he’s been steadily improving ever since. We almost have their house rebuilt, too.”
“Already?”
“Yeah, it’s gone pretty fast.” They topped the hill, and Owen’s parents’ house came into view. He drove past it, and stopped the truck in front of the newer house. “I was starting to think I wouldn’t ever get to see this place again. Sarah, I’m sorry—”
“Stop. Just stop. I can’t do this right now. I only want to go home and sleep.”
“We will talk about this though, right?”
“Yes. But not today.” She didn’t wait for him to come around and open the door, but got out on her own.
“If you don’t mind waiting, I’ll put my bags inside and walk you home.” Owen had his bags in hand and was already halfway to the front door. “You’re too tired to go on your own.”
“Fine.” She knew she was being snappish, but she didn’t care. If he got offended, that was his problem. She started in the direction of the steps that led to the path home. She heard him curse behind her, but she kept walking, her only thoughts involving getting home and going to bed.
Owen caught up with her quickly, and Sarah was thankful that he didn’t try to initiate any conversation. At the house, she unlocked the door and led him into the kitchen, where the dishes were still piled up from Monday night. The jars of jam she’d canned were still waiting on the counter for their lids, and a line of sugar ants was marching from the back door toward the sink.
Sarah felt like crying. “Oh, damn it. I forgot what a mess we’d left this place in.”
Owen started rolling up his sleeves. “I can take care of this. You go rest. I’ll get this cleaned up in no time.”
His willingness to step in and take care of her was too much. The irony was the final straw and, temper flaring, she spun around to face him. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job. Please make yourself at home. When you’re finished here, Jack started painting the house Monday evening. You can finish that. And I’m sure we can find something else for you to do when you’re done with that chore. Just forgive me if I don’t believe you’ll finish any of them. Where were you, Owen?” Her voice had grown louder and louder until she was shouting. “Where the hell where you? Damn you! I needed you, and you weren’t here. Why are you here now? Go now before I need you again and you aren’t there!”
Owen’s face had turned to granite, and she could almost see him reining in his own temper. Angry, hurt, and wanting to lash out, Sarah stalked over to him and shoved him with both hands. He didn’t budge.
“Why, Owen? Why weren’t you here? I needed you, and you weren’t here. Why? Why, damn it?” She screamed the last, and the tears hit. Sobbing, she curled her hands and beat her fists against his chest. “Why, why, why?”
His arms came around her. Sarah fought, but Owen wouldn’t release her. Instead, he drew her closer. The grief took its sweet time winding down, and by the time her tears slowed, Owen had picked her up. Sarah realized he was taking her upstairs, but she didn’t protest. She was just too exhausted.
In her bedroom, Owen set her on her feet. “Where’s a nightgown?”
Sarah gestured toward the chest of drawers. “Second drawer.”
He walked over and pulled out a gown. “Do you need help? Need to use the bathroom?”
“I don’t know.”
Owen matter-of-factly started undressing her, his touch impersonal as he helped her out of her clothes. Once she was stripped down to her panties, he eased the gown over her head. He let her settle it around her hips as he opened the bedroom windows, letting in some fresh air.
“Let’s go wash your face. You’ll feel better.” Taking her hand, he led her down the hall and into the bathroom. He wet a washcloth and wrung it out, then gently used it to blot her face. “I’ll let you take care of more personal business. I’ll wait for you in your room.”
After he closed the door, Sarah stood at the sink for a minute, trying to get her body to cooperate with her brain. She used the bathroom and washed up, then managed to get back down the hall. Owen was waiting in her room, where she let him tuck her in bed.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything. Just holler.”
Exhausted, Sarah was asleep almost before he’d finished placing the sheet around her shoulders.
Chapter Forty-One
OWEN PULLED THE LETTER FROM his pocket and laid it on Sarah’s dresser, then left her bedroom and went to the top of the steps, where he sat down. Resting his head in his hands, he let the emotions he’d been holding back shudder through him. Unlike Sarah, whose tears had been violent and noisy, Owen’s were silent.
If he hadn’t known it was Kathy in the hospital bed, he never would have recognized her. Her face was swollen from the beating, and from what he’d seen of her arms, the rest of her body hadn’t fared any better. Owen had gotten into a few altercations over the years, tussles with Eli’s son Trent, and once with Harlan after they’d reached their late teens. Those battles had been rough, and Owen had come away from them sporting various aches, pains, and bruises, but nothing like what Kathy was suffering. He couldn’t imagine the kind of beating she had endure
d at Randall’s hands. If the man hadn’t killed himself, Owen would have gladly murdered him without regret.
The thought of Kathy’s children devastated him, but Sarah’s pain almost destroyed him. She had needed him, and he’d let her down. Owen couldn’t lie to himself anymore; he’d not written because he had been hesitant to put himself out there. As he’d told Shirley, he really had no excuse. He’d wanted to protect himself, so he’d held back. Sarah deserved better than him, and Owen suspected she knew it.
Once his emotions were under control, he went downstairs and started cleaning the kitchen. Owen knew a lot of men, his father included, considered dishes and cleaning women’s work. He’d never understood that. Work was work. If something needed to be done, then whoever was most able to do it should do it. It was a philosophy he’d always believed and Eli had helped reinforce.
Owen spared a few thoughts for Eli and Amy as he worked, but he realized that his responsibility wasn’t in Laurel County anymore. If he wanted a chance at working out his relationship with Sarah, he had to put her first, no exceptions.
Once the kitchen was clean, Owen did a little straightening around the house. He stepped out onto the back porch with the garbage and glanced over at the garden. It wasn’t in terrible shape, but the weeds were getting a decent hold. Knowing exactly what he needed to do next, he went back inside and grabbed the key to the shed off the wall. Thanks to the day he’d helped put the garden in, he was familiar with where all the tools were, and in hardly any time, he had the garden mostly put to rights. He was putting away the hoe and preparing to get out the lawn mower when he heard Sarah scream.
The blood was everywhere, coating Sarah’s hands, arms, legs, and torso. She frantically brushed at it, trying to shake it off, but it clung stubbornly. She couldn’t get it off.
The next thing she knew, someone was shaking her.
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