by Dee J. Adams
Meow. The cat leapt on the banister from the stairs on the right and before Leo had a chance to say anything else, she took another flying leap straight for him. Apparently, she was not only feeling better, but her bandages weren’t slowing her down either.
“Whoa! Ouch!” Leo caught her deftly against his chest and her instant purring made Kim melt. She got in on the love fest and they both gave Stella the attention she needed. Kim was glad they’d left out plenty of dry cat food and a second big bowl of water.
Wilson came in behind them. “I’ll just set this here. Here’s your mail too. It was still in the box.” He placed the pack and mail on the nearest leather chair. “You probably want to rest, so I’ll catch you later.”
Leo stuck his hand out and Wilson grabbed it. “Thanks again, man. I really appreciate everything you did. I don’t know how soon you planned on leaving town, but I hope you let me take you to dinner as a thank you. It’s the least I can do.”
Kim knew the answer to that before Leo finished the invitation.
“That’d be great,” Wilson said, smiling between the two of them. “I probably won’t be going back for another two or three days, so just give me a shout.”
“Will do,” Leo said. Stella still basked in his arms as Kim opened the door to let Wilson out.
“Thanks again, Wilson,” she said as she walked him across the porch. “You really saved us. I owe you.” She probably shouldn’t have said those exact words, but they were true.
He smiled, flashed his dimple and looked more carefree than she’d seen him in months. “Like I said, glad I was here to help.” He waved as he took the steps toward the street. “Talk to you soon. Later, Carolyn.”
What? “Who?” Kim asked as Wilson walked away.
He turned. “What? What’s wrong?”
“You just called me Carolyn.”
He tilted his head. “Did I?” Before she answered, he went on, “Oh, I guess I did. Never done that before.” He watched her for a second. “You know you really do look a lot like her.”
“I know, I know. I was born to the wrong sister.”
He gave her a tired grin and started walking, “Bye. Call me if you need anything.”
Kim took a deep breath as she watched him go. Birds chirped and squirrels played in the trees across the street. The picturesque view of the city made her long for a change from Indiana. She could almost see living here if it weren’t for the earthquakes. Closing her eyes, she steeled herself to get through these remaining days. The idea that her passport had arrived cheered her up and she hurried to check.
Back inside, Kim found Leo in the kitchen watching Stella as she feasted on a can of cat food. Her tail swished back and forth in contentment as she ate. It was a scene she never expected to see. Leo almost domesticated with a pet. Her traitorous heart liked what it saw.
“FedEx tried to deliver your passport. They left a tag.” He waved the Post-it note from the door. “We can pick it up tomorrow.” He looked almost sad at the idea.
“Great.” Kim turned away. Finally. She didn’t want to see his eyes or even guess what he might be thinking. She made them soup and sandwiches since that’s what Leo seemed to have handy and after dinner she walked him to his bedroom.
He spent a few minutes in the bathroom as she tossed dirty clothes in the hamper. After getting him settled in bed, she got into her pajamas and came back to see if he needed anything else. He took her hand in his and dragged her closer until she sat next to him. Then he just watched her. It was hell trying to ignore his bare chest and ripped abs staring her in the face. Even with all the scrapes and bruises, he was gorgeous.
“What?” she said, grazing her thumb over his scratched knuckles. They were both still pretty marked up. Quite a pair actually.
“You look like you’re leaving. I want you to stay.”
Leo saw the indecision on Kim’s face. It wasn’t the sex that had her considering his request because that particular activity between them ranked off the charts. Which meant maybe—just maybe—she was fighting the same emotional attachment he was. And why wouldn’t she with what he’d told her already?
When she didn’t answer him, he tried something else. “I need to finish a conversation we started in the hospital,” he said. “Will you stay?”
Kim nodded and Leo kept her hand in his.
“I told you about Megan, but there’s something I didn’t spell out for you. You may have figured it out or not. I’m not sure. But you need to hear it from me so you know where I’m coming from.” Leo swallowed and dove in. “I know what I said the first time we met about how some people are meant to be parents and others are meant to make fun of those people. But I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” He faltered, wasn’t sure how to continue, but Kim squeezed his hand and he looked into her supportive eyes and saw something he’d never seen before. Compassion. Usually he saw intent or excitement in a woman’s eyes, but none of them ever showed him compassion.
“Basically, I just always thought I was better off not having kids, not so much for me, but for the woman having my baby and maybe the baby itself.” He paused for a second before continuing. “I mean, let’s be honest, clearly my gene pool has issues.” He exhaled a slow breath. “What if because of me, there’s something wrong with the baby? What if he or she is a Down baby or has other issues because of me?” He shook his head. “I can’t put someone through that. I mean, I have no idea if Megan understands her limitations or if she’s inside there trying to get out…” Swallowing hard he looked into Kim’s eyes. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” He glanced at her still flat stomach then back to her eyes. “That’s why I don’t want you to have this baby.”
Her brows slanted in frustration.
“Look, I realize that it’s not my decision because I’m not the one who’s actually going to give birth. I get that you have the right to choose what path you take and I respect that.”
“But?” The subtle change in her expression told him she was preparing for the worst.
“But I’m just being honest.” He saw her confusion. “You might be determined to have this baby, but now that you have more information, maybe you’ll think about other options. And if you do decide to keep it, I can’t let you do it alone. I won’t abandon a baby the way my father abandoned me. Am I terrified the baby might not be healthy. Hell yeah. But am I willing to forgo my place as the baby’s father? Not on your life.”
“Leo, you don’t have to do that. You have enough to worry about with Megan. I don’t expect you to…”
“To take care of this baby too?” He tipped his chin toward her stomach again. “What if there’s a problem? You shouldn’t have to deal with it by yourself.”
She held her hand over her stomach for the first time and it made Leo ultimately aware of their situation. “This baby is healthy.” Her tone grew almost angry. “I’m sorry about Megan, but I refuse to believe that this baby is going to have her issues. And you can’t assume it either.” Her back went rigid and Leo felt her drifting away from him. “I have the ability to take care of this child no matter what happens, so if you’re worried about my finances, you don’t need to be.”
He blew out another breath. “I’m sorry. Maybe you thought you were going to get rid of me, but you’re not. You can’t. If you have this baby, then we do it together.”
She stood slowly and pulled out of his grip. She didn’t look mad, but she didn’t look happy either. “It’s late and you should get some rest.” She backed up toward the door. “I’m going to…” She pointed behind her toward the door obviously looking for an excuse to be anywhere but where he was. “Going to take a shower,” she finished. She slipped out of the room before he got another word out.
He heard her pad downstairs and he stared up at the ceiling. The only shower was up here, which meant he’d been right. She didn’t want anything to do with him.
Maybe money did matter to her. The fact that he had none at the moment and she was rolling in it. Or
maybe it was his reputation. Or maybe it was the fact that he still didn’t want her to have this baby. Didn’t she get it? He couldn’t bring someone into the world who might suffer the way his sister suffered. And she barely had the mental capacity to understand what was wrong with her. All she knew was the hospital beds after a seizure and the sleep apnea machine that helped her get through the nights. How was Leo supposed to deal with that again with his own offspring?
He hated not having Kim next to him now. She’d been a fixture in his life for the past few days and now she’d barely been gone for five minutes, and he was lonelier than he’d been in years.
Leo threw the covers off and headed downstairs. They may not see eye to eye on this, but he wanted his friend back. He wanted to know she at least understood where he was coming from. And yeah, he just plain wanted her. Lately he’d been so busy and then the hospital stay had put a wrench in his life, but the whole time, in the back of his head, all he’d been thinking about was the next time he got Kim alone.
Every time he’d glanced at her, he’d mentally stripped off her clothes and thought about how it would feel to be inside her again. To feel her legs wrapped around his hips and her heels digging into his ass. He wanted to hear her whisper his name as he took her higher and feel the vibration of her orgasm when she came.
Yeah, no doubt about it, he was pretty much fucked.
Kim scooped Stella off the sofa and hugged her close as she sat down. Her brain felt like it had been scrambled and she didn’t know what to focus on.
Leo had been honest with her and she had to appreciate that. Didn’t mean she agreed with his assessment of their situation. A small part of her understood his worry, but the logical side wanted to smack him upside the head.
No one got guarantees. Ever. Life was one big-ass crapshoot, and you played the hand you got dealt. She’d learned that lesson on a few different levels. If she lived her life afraid to have a baby, then where did that leave her? No one to love. No one to raise.
Stella purred as Kim rubbed behind her ears. Hell, she didn’t even have Stella. Once she left here, she was on her own. With a baby on the way. She couldn’t forget that. In less than a month she’d be able to screen for Downs. She’d know as soon as possible exactly what she faced, and she’d be ready. Just because Leo wanted something didn’t mean he got it.
She should use his excuse as a reason to hate him, a way to keep her distance from him, but even that didn’t fly. Her rational brain said of course he’s scared, look what he’s had to deal with his whole life. But her emotional side wanted to break down like a child because he didn’t want their baby. Or her. It wasn’t as if she expected him to profess his love and welcome her with open arms. It was just what she wished.
Foolish. Should have been her middle name. Because despite knowing better, she’d gone and fallen for the dope who got her pregnant. And though he said they were in it together, she didn’t want him around if he didn’t love her. Or the baby, for that matter.
Together. What was his definition of the word anyway? Did he mean together together? Like live in the same city or same house? Probably not. He probably meant in the decision making process. Which still sucked because she’d have to deal with him on a regular basis.
Leo’s footsteps padded down the stairs and Kim looked up as his muscular legs brought him closer. His workout shorts were loose around his legs, but his T-shirt fit snug enough to outline his sculpted chest. Even with the stitches over his eyebrow, the scrapes on his face and the road rash on his legs, he was totally drool-worthy.
“Change your mind about the shower?” he asked. She didn’t catch any cynicism in the question. If anything he seemed to understand she needed space. Not that he was willing to give it to her.
“Yeah.” She barely got the word out and focused on Stella since she didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes. There was no way in hell she was going to feel guilty about having this baby.
He watched her for a few seconds before sitting next to her. Stella—who clearly loved him like all women did—pushed her way into his lap and rubbed against his chest until he began stroking her. “Seems like she’s not too mad at us anymore.”
Kim nodded, afraid if she said anything her voice would crack. She’d never been so attracted to a man and at the same time known they’d never work out.
“You’re mad at me.” His statement came out of the blue and held no anger.
“No.” She shook her head. “Not mad. I just don’t get how it’s going to work. And honestly, I don’t want to talk about it right now.” It was all too fresh. This absolute realization that they’d never be together. Which only proved that her deluded little brain had hoped for that all along, because she did genuinely like the guy.
“Will you come upstairs with me?” He looked at her then, his blue eyes steady, but unsure.
“Why?” she whispered. Not because she didn’t know what he was asking, but because she wanted to know why he thought she should.
“Because I need you,” he answered softly.
The immediate explosion of nerves in her stomach sent an instant flush up her chest and to her cheeks. How many years had she wanted to be needed by someone? To be loved? Yes, she realized they were two different things, but it didn’t change the way it affected her.
She didn’t want to need him, too, but the longer she stayed with him, the more it happened. She didn’t want the damn sting in her eyes, either, because the serious look on his face cut down every defense she tried to erect. “Leo…” She barely got his name out. He was killing her.
“Aw, babe. C’mere.” He pulled her close until her head tucked neatly into his neck and she was in his arms, holding tight to the man who’d changed her life. He made her want. He made her dream. He made her hope again when she’d lost hope. His arms felt so good wrapped around her and his heat warmed her through the fabric of their clothes.
“It was a long day. Hell, it’s been a long four days,” he whispered in her ear.
Kim took a ragged breath and nodded. So now that it was over, what did she do? But even as the question circled her brain, her body already had the answer. So did her heart. Pulling back, she looked into his eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he scolded softly. “You know I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“I know.” Not intentionally. And that was the problem, because he would eventually hurt her. She tried to give him a smile but it lacked conviction.
“I can’t make you…” be with me. The words went unspoken but they hung in the air. He set Stella next to him and smoothed his thumb across her cheek. “But…”
Something in his eyes made her breath catch. He was struggling as much as she was with their predicament and even that fact…just another thing they had in common, made her heart lurch.
She set her hand on his nape exactly the way he touched her. A half sob escaped before she caught it and stilled her trembling jaw. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?”
He nodded, but his eyes brimmed with moisture just like hers. “I’m sorry,” he said, searching her eyes as if he needed an answer.
“For what?”
“For needing you.”
Something broke apart in her chest and instead of letting him see her cry, she moved forward and put her lips on his. The soft contact only lasted a few seconds before she dove in with all her heart. She needed him, too, and wished she didn’t.
One second they were sitting on the couch, practically glued to each other and the next, Leo pulled her up the stairs to his bedroom. He laid her down on his bed and moved on top of her, his mouth insistent and delicious against hers.
“We shouldn’t do this,” Kim breathed when his lips blazed a moist, warm path across her neck to her collarbone. “You have a concussion. You’re still banged up.”
“All I’ve been thinking about is being with you. For the past four days, this has been eating me up inside. Having you so close and not being able to touch you the way I want.
” His big hands stroked beneath her silky nightshirt and lifted the material over her head until she lay topless. He proved his words when he sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth.
Kim arched into the touch with a moan. Her breasts had never been this sensitive. If she thought his hands had been lethal, his tongue might kill her. It was stupid to deny she wanted him. Stupid to fight this time with him. Walking out on him right now wouldn’t change the way she felt about him. Misery was up ahead no matter how she looked at it, so instead of living with the pain longer, she decided to stay for now. Now was all she had with this man, so she might as well take it.
“This is what I need,” he murmured as he stripped her bottoms down her legs. His nostrils flared when he saw her lack of underwear. Again. “God damn, that is so fucking sexy,” he whispered.
She swallowed as he took in every inch of her, his hands skimming her hips and down her thighs—almost reverently—as he knelt between her legs.
“I owe you a thank you,” he said, meeting her gaze with a very serious expression on his face.
“You do?” Her heart thumped a primitive beat as his thumbs stroked the private crease between each thigh, so near to where her body pulsed in expectation.
He nodded. “I couldn’t have pulled off the shoot without you.” He eased a thumb directly across the wet seam of her vagina and circled her clit.
Kim gasped as the electric shock stoked up her arousal. “You didn’t need me,” she managed, though her brain was barely working.
The hint of a smile disappeared from his face and he shook his head. “Wrong. I did. And do. I think I should show you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done the past few days.” He shifted lower, hooked her legs over his shoulders and nuzzled the same crease of each thigh.
The expectation killed her. She felt his hot breath stroke over sensitive flesh and her lungs faltered as she waited. “Leo,” she pleaded. God, she hated that she sounded so needy. She lifted the tiniest fraction, offering herself up to him, body, heart and soul.
