Harry would dance with Molly at the ball. Not twice, of course. That would signify a special attachment between them. He would dance with her just to show the neighbors how distant the past truly was.
And how exciting the future could be. Because Harry intended to announce his plan at the ball. And if his father liked it, he could thank that long ago day—the Christmas incident—for providing Harry the inspiration.
“Are you sure you’re well, Molly?” Lord Sutton growled at her one morning, about a month after her return home. He’d been none the wiser about her absence. Neither had the servants or Cousin Augusta. She’d laid the ground well before she’d eloped with Cedric, little realizing how differently things would turn out.
She poked at her eggs. “Yes, Papa. I’m well.”
“You usually eat like a horse.”
She shrugged. “I’m feeling quite the thing, I assure you.”
Which was an out-and-out lie. She’d never been more miserable.
Lord Sutton cut into his morning beefsteak. “You haven’t been the same since I got back.” He chewed, stared at her, and swallowed. “And quite frankly, neither have I. I’m still baffled by Cedric’s disappearance. I’m considering employing another assistant unless I hear from him in the next day or two. Are you sure he didn’t say where he was going?”
Molly felt her face flame red.
“Oho!” Her father eyed her suspiciously. “Was something going on between you and Cedric that I didn’t know about?”
“No, Papa. Nothing. And I don’t miss Cedric. Not one bit. I hope he never returns.”
“The lady doth protest too much,” Lord Sutton said with a chuckle. He took a sip of beer, gave a lip-smacking sigh, and set his tankard on the table with a great thunk. “Tell you what,” he said. “I shall speak with him when he returns. You two should marry. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. You—and Cedric!” He chuckled with delight. “You’ll stay with me forever and keep making me those delicious tarts—and he’ll be my assistant and watch over my artifacts when I die.”
Papa appeared very pleased with himself.
Molly put down her fork. “No, thank you, Papa. And I—I’ve been meaning to discuss something with you.”
“What?”
“Cedric and I are not suited”—she paused, took a breath—“but I certainly would like a Season in town.”
“You’re too old for a Season!” Lord Sutton sputtered. “You’re practically on the shelf!”
She felt her mouth tremble. “And I have you to thank for that, Papa. You’ve kept me buried here with Cousin Augusta. Why?”
Lord Sutton’s face turned red. “How dare you question my judgment? I know what’s best for you.”
Molly sighed and walked around the table to be close to her father. Sinking into a chair next to him, she said, “All these years, ever since that unfortunate Christmas incident, I’ve either gone to a very strict school or I’ve been here with you and Cousin Augusta. I love you, Papa, but I’ve missed countless balls in London. I’ve never had flowers delivered to my door after a soiree or rout. And I’ve been becoming a spinster, slowly but surely.”
Lord Sutton’s shoulders sank a few inches.
Molly put her hand on top of his and schooled her voice to be gentle. “You taught me yourself, through your work to preserve the past, to not let life pass me by without truly seeing it as it unravels. Please.” She gave him a beseeching gaze. “I would like to have some memories of a London Season.”
Lord Sutton sighed. “All right,” he said. “One Season.” He chucked her chin. “Are you sure you won’t have Cedric?”
“I’m sure, Papa.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “And thank you for being so understanding.”
He grimaced, never one to like displays of affection. “You’re very welcome,” he granted her. “It is but the beginning of October. You have several months to wait. We’ll rent my good friend’s house on Jermyn Street from January to June.”
“And meanwhile, we might have to make a trip up to London, so I can shop for a new wardrobe,” she said, brightening at the thought.
Lord Sutton rolled his eyes. “I suppose that might be necessary. We shall leave tomorrow.”
“Why so soon?”
“You’ll need some clothes sooner than you think,” he said. “There is to be a small ball in a fortnight at the duke’s residence. To celebrate Penelope and Roderick’s return from Italy.”
Molly blinked. “Of course. I should have thought of that. Do you suppose Harry will be there?”
Lord Sutton frowned. “Why should we care? But I suppose he probably will.”
Molly’s curiosity about Harry was soon put to rest. She was pruning some roses in the garden later that afternoon when a house maid came to her with a note.
“A letter for you, Lady Molly.” The maid bobbed a curtsy and left her with the shears dangling from one hand and the letter in the other.
Molly’s heart raced. She put the shears down and broke the seal. It was a note from Harry. After much deciphering of his appalling scrawl, she figured out that he would be coming to the ball.
Harry! At the ball! She held the paper to her lips and savored the news for a moment. But as she continued reading, a cold chill spread from her feet to her hands. Harry wrote that he’d be bringing some friends down from London who would be suitable marriage prospects for her. And she should be ready to flirt.
Of course she should. She sighed, folded the letter. He was only doing as she asked, so why was she so…disappointed?
She fingered a rose and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
Oh, she was more than disappointed, wasn’t she? She was heartbroken. That was her problem. She loved Harry. And he—
He obviously didn’t love her.
They’d had fun together, yes! The most fun she’d ever had with anyone.
But he didn’t love her.
She stared at the bottom of the note. He’d signed his name with a large H followed by some more indecipherable scribble.
Harry.
Molly folded the letter and tucked it in the pocket of her garden apron. Harry’s teachers must have despaired of his handwriting when he was a boy. So typical of him not to care.
Yet so endearing, too.
But she couldn’t smile.
No, she had to stop thinking of him. Stop thinking of all those things she loved about him.
She put away her shears. Then she walked into the house, up her father’s wide staircase, and to her room to pack for the trip to London. She was in the market for a husband. Perennial bachelors with bad penmanship simply wouldn’t do.
Chapter 43
“I’ve got big news, brother,” Roderick said, tying his cravat in the looking glass.
“Let me guess.” Harry took a sip of his brandy.
It was early evening, and his parents’ ball would commence in less than an hour. Harry was in the opulent suite Roderick and Penelope shared when they stayed with the duke and duchess.
“You know already, don’t you?” Roderick smiled.
Harry put the brandy down and stood up. “I can tell just by that grin on your face. Your fertility and your legacy are assured. Penelope is with child, and you think it’s a boy.”
Roderick laughed. “Yes, you devil. Is it that obvious I’m proud to have caused my beautiful wife to breed yet again?”
“Yes, it is.” Harry slapped him on the back. “Well done. And how are you so sure this time that she’ll produce a son?”
Roderick sighed. “She feels different, she said. And her maid did some kind of trick with a spoon on a string and proclaimed the babe to be a boy. But truth be told, if we have another little Penelope, I’d be equally glad.”
“You know what this means, don’t you?” asked Harry.
“Not exactly,” Roderick replied, pouring himself his own brandy.
“If you have a boy, I will no longer be the spare.”
Roderick paused
. “You’re right.”
“I shall be released from the one duty I’ve been carrying all my life.”
Roderick gazed at him. “I can’t tell if you’re relieved—or will somehow miss it.”
Harry raked a hand through his hair. “I’m mixed, actually. Being the spare has defined me all these years. As being the heir has defined you.”
Roderick nodded in understanding. “It does get rather wearying, doesn’t it?”
The brothers both sat on the edge of the bed. “I sometimes think, Roderick”—Harry felt his jaw clenching—“that even now, Father doesn’t know me. Or care to.”
Roderick sat silent for a moment, then said, “He isn’t the most affectionate of men.” He lightly punched Harry’s arm. “I should have noticed you more. Given you that attention every boy needs.”
“You needed it, too.”
Roderick shrugged. “I got plenty of attention from Father. It might not have been warm, or particularly personal, but I did feel important.” Roderick threw out an arm and intoned, “What would happen to the world without the house of Mallan? It would stop spinning.” He grinned, but it was wistful. “That was the feeling I got from Father.”
They sat quietly again, and Harry noticed he felt happy, despite the awkwardness of their conversation. It was good to sit with his brother and be…accepted.
“I knew I always had you,” Harry blurted out, his voice hoarse. With emotion, he supposed. Ever since that week at the hunting box with Molly, and all the feelings he’d felt there, he’d been more emotional than he’d ever been. He swallowed hard. “Thank you for believing in me when the whole world didn’t.”
Roderick lowered his brandy. “You mean…about what happened to you in the army?”
Harry nodded. “It’s been difficult. Really difficult. To not be able to defend myself.”
Roderick sighed. “Is that why you’ve simply…given in? Been what everyone expects of you?”
“Yes,” Harry said. “Part of it. Especially because Father expects so little of me. I’m not quite sure he believes I was protecting a lady’s honor. And still am.”
“Harry,” Roderick remonstrated with him. “As much as Father knows you’re doing the right thing, the frustrated parent in him doesn’t like standing by doing nothing. Trust me, I know, now that I’m a father myself, how much I’d hate to feel useless if one of our girls were in trouble.”
Harry sighed.
“He may not show it,” Roderick said, “but he loves you. He does. Feel sorry for him that he can’t show it more readily.” Roderick paused. “Do you love him, Harry?”
Harry stared at the floor. Did he? Did he love the man who’d shown him almost no attention and definitely no affection—for his entire life?
His brow creased. “Yes,” he said, looking at Roderick. “I do. I don’t know why, but I do.”
“Then tell him. Don’t wait for him to tell you. That might never happen, but you can tell him. And be at peace. Finally. That’s another reason you’re an Impossible Bachelor, isn’t it? Because you’re angry.”
Harry stared at Roderick. “Yes,” he said. “I’m angry.”
Roderick’s gaze locked onto his. His expression was concerned. Accepting.
Hopeful.
Harry smiled. “It’s time to move on, isn’t it?”
Roderick nodded. “I’m proud of you for realizing it. I knew it long ago, but unless it comes from your own heart—it can’t happen, can it?”
They both stood. A beat passed, and then Harry threw his arms around his brother and squeezed him hard.
“Thanks,” he whispered.
Roderick hugged him back. “No. Thank you for being there for me. Now that I look back on it, you always have been.”
Harry laughed. “Except for one time.”
“Oh, yes,” Roderick drawled. “When you kissed my wife.”
“She wasn’t your wife then.”
Roderick laughed. “Actually, that episode brought me around. I’m afraid I’d been taking her a bit for granted. I’ve never taken her for granted since.”
“Well, you’d best not quit now. We’re five minutes late, you know, for the gathering in the drawing room.”
Roderick rolled his eyes in mock horror. “There’ll be hell to pay from Mother and Penelope, won’t there?”
“Yes, but I’m used to it from Mother,” said Harry.
“Just wait until you get married.”
“That’ll be the day,” Harry murmured with a wicked grin.
They both chuckled and bounded down the stairs. Harry watched Roderick sail to Penelope’s side and kiss her soundly.
The retorts Harry used to defend his bachelor status were so habitual he could recite them in his sleep. But somehow, today, in light of Roderick and Penelope’s wonderful news and their…togetherness, those platitudes rang false even to his own ears.
Which was rather disconcerting.
Was he losing his touch?
He decided he rather didn’t care at the moment.
There were more important things to think about. Like family. And friends. And having a good time at a small country ball thrown by an overbearing duke who just might happen to love him, after all.
Chapter 44
Molly’s palms were damp. She couldn’t wait to see Harry. It had been six long weeks! How would she act toward him? And how would he act toward her?
She knew she was a fool to wonder. Harry was free to be a bachelor and, as far as she knew, that’s exactly what he’d been doing. According to the gossip rags, he’d been out and about all over London, although she noticed that in no report did his actions appear to be more dissolute than any other bachelor’s.
They were dissolute enough, however, to bring her pain. Was he already entangled with another woman?
At least she knew she looked her best. Her gown came straight from London. Papa, dear man, had spared no expense. It was a pale rose colored muslin—almost white—with the most delicate sheer sleeves. The neckline was modest enough, but the skirt was sprinkled with translucent beading which shimmered as she moved. And in her hair, which was miraculously holding its curl, she wore a cluster of pale pink roses.
At the balcony overlooking the ballroom, Molly waited in the receiving line to greet her host and hostess, after which she’d descend the massive staircase to join the festive crowds below. She realized she should be quite comfortable—the duke’s home was practically her home. She’d been coming here since she was a baby, and her sister was now the duke’s daughter-in-law.
But things had forever changed after the house party. And now, she couldn’t believe how she’d never noticed Harry before that time…in the way a woman notices a man.
She lost her father on the staircase—he was somewhere in the crowd below her.
But then he found her and touched her arm. “Go on without me, Molly. I must have a chat with Lord Winston, and I left my spectacles in the carriage. I shall be back momentarily.”
She was on close enough terms with Harry’s family to go through the receiving line on her own, of course.
“As you wish, Papa,” she said, and proceeded onward.
She couldn’t look down the line for Harry—she was much too preoccupied with greeting his parents. She wondered if she’d ever stop being intimidated by His Grace. She somehow doubted it, but the duchess made up for his controlled, intimidating manner.
“So good to see you, Molly.” The duchess smiled rather tenderly and squeezed her hand. “Do you know you look more like your mother with each passing day?”
Molly felt a rush of warmth fill her. “I do?”
“Most certainly,” replied the duchess. “I hope you enjoy yourself tonight, dear.”
Molly thanked the duchess and moved on to Penelope and Roderick, who were even more pleased to see her, of course. She gave them both the warmest of embraces.
“You look gorgeous,” Penelope gushed. “And it’s been an agony not seeing you sooner.” She hadn’t had
a moment to travel over to Marble Hill with the girls since coming home from Italy three days ago. She and the duchess had been busy with the ball preparations.
But Molly understood. And she couldn’t wait to have time alone with her big sister. She had a glow about her—it was love, of course. Love given and returned. Something that she felt destined never to experience herself. But she could be happy for Penelope, and she was. Genuinely so.
And in the midst of that happiness for Penelope, Molly sensed, rather than saw, that the object of her unrequited affections was very near. While she spoke to her sister about her favorite Italian haunts, she heard Roderick turn to his left and say, “Here’s the little hellion that caused you to join the army, Harry.”
And that’s when she saw him. Her insides instantly turned to jelly. In his perfectly cut evening clothes, Harry was more handsome than ever. Yet there was also a solitariness about him, a reserve, that he hadn’t had at the hunting box. Perhaps it was because he was around his family.
Molly could tell by the light in his eye that he was well pleased to see her. He kissed the back of her hand, and the shock of his touch sent ripples of pleasure through her.
“My friends from London shall be asking you to dance,” he continued rather low, even thought Roderick and Penelope were now immersed in conversation with two old spinsters. “I shall introduce you to them myself when I’m done here.”
Molly felt her bubble of happiness deflate. “Thank you, Harry.” She managed a smile. “I’m most obliged.”
“It is my firmest desire to fulfill my promise to you,” he said with a gravity to his tone that she’d never heard before.
He took her hand once more and kissed it. She made sure her smile stayed frozen in place until she was free of the receiving line—as she must be free of him.
He’d made a promise to help her find a husband. But did he have to be so happy to fulfill it? She must move on. She’d flirt with his friends. And if all went well, perhaps tonight she would dance with the man she would marry.
Harry didn’t mind that he’d got caught up in a circle of women surrounding his mother. She’d called him over to answer questions from them about his plans for the future. His parents and their cronies were always asking him his plans for the future.
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