He hesitated as he saw something move nearby.
Hey! Is… is that a little girl?
“Pssst! Mister!”
He looked down at her with shock and delight. A little girl! What a wonderful and unexpected twist ending! Absolutely brilliant! He looked around the park to see if anyone else was there to enjoy this little miracle and, of course, there wasn’t. He looked down again and saw that she was still there, crouched down beside a bush, wearing… wearing a…
Oh dear. He removed a handkerchief and dutifully polished his sunglasses.
Ah, he thought after a few moments. She was dressed in garbage, and smelling of… ammonia? Hmm. Yes. Was this his idea? What an odd thing to hallucinate at this time of day.
“Mister!” she whispered again. “You can’t stay here! There’s zombies coming!”
He gazed at her in puzzlement.
“My goodness,” he said. “You are real! How unexpected! Is this part of some greater picture I dreamt up? This… this whole experience is so mystifying sometimes.”
“We have to go!” the girl said. She pointed vaguely behind her.
“Go?” he repeated, his gaze following her finger, as if, in his amazement, he might see a floating doorway where she pointed. “Go where?”
“Marshal’s car,” she said. “Crapmobile. It’s disguised from the zombies and can take you someplace safe. But we have to go now.”
“My goodness,” the old man said, as a means of hiding that he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He looked longingly back in the direction of the approaching sunset and saw that, yes, there were… some zombies. No doubt they would interfere with his perfect sunset. They always tried.
He turned back to the girl with ravenous curiosity.
“Who are you, young woman?” he asked. “Who is this ‘Marshal’? What did you mean by ‘someplace safe’?”
The girl looked at him like he was crazy, her eyes flickering to the still distant but approaching zombies. “My name is Angie,” she said. “Marshal’s my big brother. We’re finding people and taking them to these safe spots we’ve got. You have to come now!”
The old man was absolutely amazed! Finding people? Safe spots? On the one hand, it was clear that the girl was risking her own life in an attempt to rescue him. On the other hand… Wow! What a wonderful twist of fate! He’d really have to congratulate himself later, when he started getting the rest of his memory back.
“Mister, come on!”
Oh, right! Zombies!
“Sorry, sorry!” he said, standing up. “Lead the way, and I’ll-”
“Crouch down!” she whispered so harshly it could have been a shout. Her eyes were terrified as they darted around, looking for danger.
“Oh. Of course.” He did so. “I forgot that was important.”
The look she gave him! “Are you crazy, mister?”
“Um…No? I just came out to watch the sunset.”
“Just follow me,” she said, shaking her head, “and try to keep down.”
Feeling embarrassed, the old man did his best to comply.
The girl moved with near silence, traveling quick but careful. He panted with effort until, after a few minutes, he came face to face with a substantial pile of windswept trash that, it turned out, wasn’t.
A hatch with a bulging, air-filled garbage bag stapled to it, smeared in mud stains and stinking of ammonia, was lifted, revealing a clean space inside. In fact, the interior seemed to be a vehicle of some kind, complete with a flat, storage space and seats for four people. It looked primitive, but the old man marveled at the ingenuity of it all.
“Fantastic!” he murmured, his eyes feasting on the sight. “Absolutely brilliant! Crapmobile, I presume?”
The girl nodded, waving her hand frantically to get in.
Quickly, the old man did so.
There was a slender man in the driver’s seat, with a huge, intimidating man seated next to him.
“Hello,” the driver said, turning in his seat and extending a hand, “My name is Marshal. The person sitting next to me is my head of security, Luca. Welcome to Crapmobile, the safest mode of transportation in post-apocalyptia.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” the old man answered, shaking hands. His eyes swept the working computer screens and tablets that seemed wired into the vehicle. “My name is God, and the pleasure is mine.”
Angie closed the hatchway, and Marshal turned back to the controls.
“Thank you.” A brief silence followed, save for the rumbling buzz as Crapmobile slowly rolled into motion. Marshal frowned as he scanned the various monitors for any sign of zombie life.
“So…” Marshal said, still watching the screens. “You said your name was…?”
“God,” the old man said. “Just God, too, if its all right. ‘Mister’ God sounds a bit pretentious, don’t you think? And Jehovah or Jahwee sounds just as bad. I like to think I’m a little more down-to-earth than that.”
“God,” Marshal repeated, “as in, the God.”
“Oh don’t worry,” God said, holding both hands palm outward. “I’ve misplaced most of my Divine power and insight. It’s kind of like amnesia. For the time being, I’m just like you. It’s possible that it’ll wear off, but I’m not holding my breath. I can be so damn ineffable sometimes.”
Marshal opened his mouth but failed to make any words come out.
“Another fuckin’ wacko,” Luca grumbled. He glared over his shoulder. “An honor to meet you, yer Omnipotence,” he said. “Please stay in your seat for the whole trip. And keep your voice down. Crapmobile has a little bit of soundproofing, but it ain’t the greatest, so no talking until we get to our destination. Understand?”
“Absolutely,” God agreed, sitting down. He looked excited. “You won’t hear another word from me.”
“He was alone,” Angie spoke up, sounding defensive, “on a park bench, about to be eaten by zombies. What else was I supposed to do?”
“You did the right thing, Angie,” Luca said, softening his tone.
“Luca’s right, Ang,” Marshal agreed. “We’re headed back to the apartment, for now. It’s been a long day. But, in the meantime…”
He turned to look the newcomer up and down.
“Everybody is valuable in some way,” he said. “That goes double for God, since we’ve been lucky enough to stumble across him. And let’s face it, we could use the upside.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help!” God declared, slapping his knee.
Luca glared at the old man.
“I’ll start by trying to be a bit more quiet,” God added.
And so it was.
Chapter Fifteen: Day 30: Professional Help
Marshal was swamped by attention the moment the skid-lift closed.
“Marshal? Can I talk to you?”
“And afterwards, buddy, if I could get a chance?”
He looked up and saw Sophie Wyatt standing in front of Brad Campbell. Behind them, Gladys milled about with concerns of her own. To top it off, leaning up against the wall and watching was Valerie Hunter, her arms folded across her chest.
“See ya later, Marshal,” Angie said, grinning up at him. “Maybe for dinner?”
“I’ll try to make it, Ang,” he answered, eying the line-up. “In an hour?”
She stretched upwards as high as she could go and gave him a peck on the cheek. Then, with a twist of her body that shucked half of her garbage dress, she hobbled off in the direction of her bedroom.
Sophie’s concerned gaze followed her as she left.
“I’ll start getting my stuff ready,” Luca said, stifling a yawn. “If everything goes well tomorrow, then I’ll be moving into the auditorium and tryin’ to get Shitbox put together. Feel free to give my bed up to someone who needs it. Give it up to soldier-boy, if he can pull his head out of his ass long enough to make the move.”
“Cut him some slack, Luca,” Marshal said. He glanced through the open wall to the storage area where, unseen in a c
urtained-off corner, the soldier rested. “He’s earned some respect and can probably hear you from here. He wouldn’t be in this condition if he hadn’t sacrificed his own life for others.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Luca shook his head. “I got nothin’ but respect for the guy. He’s a goddamn hero! I just think he should start acting like one.”
He glared at the curtained area, and then shrugged.
“Do whatever you gotta do,” he said. “I’ll see you and Angie at dinner. If you ain’t there, I’ll find you and drag you to the table by your swelled head, even if you are the boss. Later.”
With that, he lumbered off in the direction of his room.
“He’s really just a big, cuddly, teddy bear,” Marshal said tiredly. Sophie and Brad merely nodded at this with diplomatic restraint.
“Where is this heroic soldier? I’d like to meet him.”
Heads turned, suddenly noticing the old man standing next to Marshal.
“Oh… sorry,” Marshal said, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. “I almost forgot you were there, God.”
“Well, you’ve been busy,” God said in a forgiving tone.
“Everyone? This is God. God? This is everyone. Angie found him sitting out in the open, plain as day, waiting for the sunset and about two or three zombies to arrive. Discovering Angie seems to have given him a new lease on life.”
“She is an amazing little girl,” Sophie said.
“That she is, my dear,” God said with a smile, stepping up to her. “And you are?”
“Sophie Wyatt,” she answered as God gently took her hand and brushed her fingers with his lips. “Er… former school teacher. And you’re the God? Which one? Christian? Muslim? Or are you some sort of Hindu version with multiple personalities?”
“I’m sort of an amalgamation of them all,” he answered, “like I’ve always been.”
“Well I, for one, am glad that we finally have God on our side,” Brad declared, with just a hint of sarcasm. “Up until now, it’s been just Marshal and the devil of St. Luca.” He extended a hand. “Brad Campbell. Former salesman. Looking forward to working with you. I’ve always been a big fan, and a little omnipotence it just the thing we need right about now.”
God accepted the hand, shaking in it firmly with just the hint of a smile.
“The pleasure is mine,” he answered. “I’m here to help however I can, but I’m afraid I’ve misplaced most of my omnipotence recently, along with my omniscience. I’m not certain when I’ll be getting it back.”
“Lost your omniscience, eh?” Brad said, retrieving his hand. “That’s too bad. On the other hand, it would explain why you haven’t been doing your job lately.”
“That depends,” God said, smiling at Gladys.
“On what?”
“On what you think my job actually is. Hello, my dear, dear lady,” God said to Gladys. “It is so wonderful to discover a true woman in among all these children. What an honor it is to meet you, my lady.”
“You mind your manners, you old fart,” Gladys snapped, though some color managed to reach her cheeks. “I don’t tolerate nonsense, any more than I tolerate blasphemy! You’re obviously crazy, or else I’d show you-”
“You know,” God interrupted, “they said the same thing when they first saw the platypus. That I was crazy, I mean. For my part, I thought it was rather wonderful, but I took no offense. It was weird, after all.”
“Gladys,” Marshal said, cutting off what would have been a scathing reply, “why don’t you introduce God to Master Corporal Vandermeer? And while you’re at it, let God know why we all think the Corporal is such a hero.”
Gladys bit back her words.
“If you say so, Marshal, dear,” she said, glaring at God. “Come on, you.”
The two of them headed towards the curtained-off area.
“Right,” Marshal said. “Brad first. What can I do for you, Brad?”
“Actually, Marshal,” the middle-aged man said, rubbing the back of his neck with a look of chagrin. “It’s what I can do for you. Look, I realize we got off on the wrong foot, but I promise you… I’m not that guy. It’s taken me a little while to catch up, but…”
He hesitated, and his eyes took on a hint of fear.
“Kumar and I were talking, see, and he showed me how your computer was tracking the outbreak from the beginning, and… and your computer remembers the things that you… well, anyway… It’s kind of dawned on me that there may not be any kind of rescue coming. You, Luca, and these people… this could be it.”
“There will be others,” Marshal assured him. “After all, we just rescued God today. That has to be the definitive good omen. Who knows who could be next.”
“Yeah,” Brad half-laughed. “But you know what I mean. Like it or not, these people we save, that’s it! That’s everybody in the world, or it may as well be. And… and I want to do what I can to help. I need you to know that. I didn’t touch a drink all day, and I’m ready for anything you got. I’m forty-three, and out of shape, but whatever you need, it’s yours. I give you my word.”
He extended a hand, and Marshal shook it.
“Thank you, Brad,” he said. “I appreciate it. And for the record, keep speaking your mind. Believe it or not, you were kind of helpful today, and I do need all the help I can get. Meanwhile, as to your offer of assistance… What do you know about fixing cars?”
“Not much,” Brad admitted. “I mean, I love cars, but I was always more about driving them then building them.”
“How would you like to learn?”
Brad shrugged. “Whatever you need.”
“Not me. Luca. Luca’s starting in on building the next generation of Crapmobile, and it’s incredibly important that he’s successful. He’s going to need all the help he can get, but everyone else is already busy. Torstein’s crew is doing work almost as important as Luca, and I’d hate to have to pull anyone away.”
“Working with Luca, eh?” Brad said uneasily, some of his enthusiasm leaking.
“Trust me,” Marshal said, “he’s not as bad as he seems. He’ll be glad for the help, and I promise you that as soon as we have Crapmobiles rolling off the line, you’ll be one of the first to get one. As for Luca, I’ll have a talk with him and make it absolutely clear that he’s to give you a break.”
“Yeah. Sure! He seems like such a generous guy.”
“Actually, Brad, I don’t think he’ll be a problem. I’ve known the man my whole life, and I guarantee you, he’ll be grateful that you’re willing to help.”
“Well… okay,” Brad said, swallowing hard. “If you say so, Marshal.”
“I do. In the meantime, help yourself to the bar. There will be no drinking during work hours, but otherwise, my home is your home.”
“Think I’ll grab a bite to eat instead,” Brad said, brightening. “I noticed that there are still some steaks available. But thanks anyway, Marshal.”
“And now you, Sophie. What can I-”
“I want to talk about Angie,” she broke in.
“What about her?”
Sophie fixed him with a hard gaze.
“You know what about her,” she said.
Marshal held up a hand. “Sophie, I’m going to stop you there.”
“Marshal! She’s - what? - twelve years old? And you have her gallivanting around outside during a zombie apocalypse?”
“Don’t you think I’ve been through this already?” Marshal asked. “I tried to enforce her staying indoors once, but she started sneaking out. What was I supposed to do? Should I waste time and talent punishing her? The truth is that she’s better at sneaking around than any one of us. People are alive because of her, Sophie, and I won’t imprison her on principle alone. Besides, we have a deal, and so far she’s held up her end of the bargain. Don’t ask me to renege.”
For a few seconds, she scowled at him with displeasure. Then, she sighed, looking down at the floor.
“Fine,” she said, “but you have to und
erstand, Marshal, she’s setting a dangerous example for my kids. They don’t have her natural skill, and when they’re not waking up screaming from the nightmares, they’re terrified that you’re going to ask them to do what she does.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Truth to tell, I don’t much like Angie going out there on her own, but she’s so damn good at it, my hands are tied. I sure as hell won’t force them-”
“I know, I know,” Sophie said, looking at him with a calculating expression. “So fine. I’ll keep an open mind regarding Angie, but here’s what I want you to do for me. First, I want you to speak with the kids directly… and any other children we’re lucky enough to find, promising them that they won’t be expected to go wandering around like Angie. If you’re going to be our supreme leader, then the children will need to know you personally, and this is the sort of promise that will help them sleep at night.”
Marshal nodded. “No problem.”
“Second, I want Angie to teach the children what she knows,” Sophie continued. “I want her to show the other children how’s she’s able to do what she does, just in case they ever find themselves caught out in the open.”
Marshal blinked. “That’s-”
“She’s four years older than them,” she said, as if trying to head off his argument. “They look up to her. They trust her, and she trusts you. Knowing that a girl like her can survive out there on her own might help the children feel safer. And if, God forbid, any of them are ever caught outside, then Angie’s teaching may be the difference between life and death. Please, Marshal, just say yes!”
Marshal laughed.
“I was going to say that I think it’s a brilliant idea. In fact, it would make sense for some of the adults to take classes too. Either way, if you set it up, then I’ll make sure that Angie’s on board. Personally, I think she’ll be flattered.”
Sophie flashed him a bright, grateful smile.
“Thank you, Marshal. You’re getting the hand of this leader thing. Just keep doing what I say, and you’ll have it down pat.”
“I’ll try to remember,” Marshal said. “Am I to infer from this conversation that you will be taking charge of the community’s children?”
From Oblivion's Ashes Page 28
