Crystal's Calamity (The Red Petticoat Saloon)

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by Stevie MacFarlane


  At the moment, Clementine was incredibly dirty and unkempt. With a smile, she remembered thinking the same about another young woman under her roof. The first time she’d seen Della, all she could see was the color brown. A bath was all it took to show the woman’s physical beauty. Love and a lot of Nettie’s good cooking had gone a long way, allowing the woman to begin giving glimpses of her inner beauty as well.

  Pulling her thoughts back to the present, Jewel gave her full attention to the woman currently seated before her. Clementine’s figure was seriously lacking in womanly curves, much more suited to the young boy she portrayed herself to be. Those were all things that could be dealt with. A little padding here and there could do wonders and most of the men she would service would have already had enough to drink they wouldn’t remember if she was lacking. Frequently satisfied customers were men who passed out long before they crawled between a woman’s thighs, crowing proudly the next morning of their stamina because they’d spent the night in one of the girl’s beds while she slept elsewhere.

  Of course, there were the insatiable ones too. It took an experienced gem to handle them. “Are you a virgin?” she asked suddenly and bluntly.

  “Yes,” Clem admitted, sticking her chin up and refusing to feel inferior because of it.

  “Do you have any other skills?”

  “Well, I’ve been told I have a nice voice for singing. I have very nice penmanship and I’m good with sums. I’m a fair cook.”

  “I already have a cook, Nettie, and a bookkeeper, but I could probably find something else for you to do,” Jewel offered, tapping the tips of her fingers together. “We have girls here who don’t go upstairs. They wear pink petticoats, serve drinks and meals, and deal cards. Possibly you’re better suited for that.”

  “I don’t think anything else would pay enough for what I need,” Clem said softly. “Please, Miss Jewel. I won’t cause you any trouble. I’m a fast learner and a hard worker. Give me a chance,” she pleaded.

  “Do you have any idea what goes on in one of the rooms upstairs?” Jewel asked, her expression reminding Clem what she’d said earlier about lying.

  “Not from experience,” Clem admitted, “but I have knowledge of the basics.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what you think happens?” Jewel suggested.

  “Well, I imagine I would take a man upstairs to my room and we would… well, touch each other, maybe kiss and caress for a while. Then I would let him get between my legs where he would um… penetrate me with his, um…”

  “No, no and no!” Jewel informed with a shake of her head. “What most of the men who come here want is vulgarly referred to as a ‘poke’. They are not interested in your pleasure or your comfort. Thankfully, most of the time it’s over quickly, sometimes only a minute or two. You must be the aggressor at times, and it’s to your benefit to encourage a swift culmination.

  “Before any intimate contact you must wash their organs, if they haven’t visited the bathing room, looking carefully for signs of disease. Some men don’t like this. They are offended or in too big of a hurry to be bothered with ‘such nonsense’, however, it’s a hard and fast rule in this establishment to insure your own health and safety. Believe me when I tell you, syphilis is not a pleasant way to die. You’ll be taught what to look for. You must also keep yourself meticulously clean in that area. In any case, if this process seems in any way romantic, get that out of your head right now. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Clem whispered.

  “Good. It’s a job. You provide a service with your body for which you are well paid. Oh, I admit occasionally a charming or kind man comes along and it’s hard to keep a professional distance, but you must at all costs. Offers to marry you and take you away from all this,” she said with a sweep of her hand, “are a dime a dozen. Men who’ve had too much to drink will promise you anything,” she sighed, looking at Clementine whose face was so red it looked as though her ears were on fire.

  “Now and then you will get a man who wants more than to have you lay on your back so they can ‘poke’ you. They will want you to put your mouth on their organs or possibly want to penetrate your arse. My advice to you is, no. While there is nothing wrong with this type of lovemaking, I would like you to stick to the basics, at least for a while. Leave those men for the more experienced gems.”

  “Gems?”

  “Yes, each of my girls uses the name of a jewel. If I hire you, from that point forward we will not be using your real name. Clementine McKay does not work at The Red Petticoat. It’s a way to protect your privacy should you choose to move on from here.”

  “I understand,” Clem replied, thinking it was a way to keep her real identity secret. She would be free to move around. So far there were only three people who knew Clem was a woman and she’d like to keep it that way, at least until she discovered who murdered her Pa.

  “Men will offer you outrageous amounts of money for these acts,” Jewel continued, “especially if they’ve just struck it big, but if you value your health and safety you will refuse. This is my place and my rules. If you disobey them, you will be punished or dismissed. Are you still interested in a job?”

  “Yes,” Clem squeaked out.

  Jewel sighed and drummed her fingers on her desk before continuing.

  “Sooner rather than later you will have a customer with a mean streak. Men like this enjoy abusing women. It enhances their sexual pleasure.”

  “What do you mean by abuse?” Clem asked nervously.

  “It varies. Some men enjoy spanking a girl until her bottom is red and hot. Others favor more severe methods and would like to use a belt, whip or cane. Occasionally a customer will request the privilege of tying you up or gagging you. All of these are acceptable for experienced gems and there are some who enjoy these games. However, it must be consensual. There are cords in each room, within reach of the bed, that will signal Mr. Vasquez if you need help or get into a dangerous situation. Part of his job is to protect me and my girls, but be aware he will have no problem turning you over his knee and administering his own brand of justice if he determines you have caused your own predicament by not following the rules I have set forth. Gabe is not a man to play with and he takes his job very seriously indeed.”

  “How much money will I make?” Clem asked stiffly.

  “Again, that depends on you,” Jewel stated. “I get thirty percent; you pocket the rest. The rules are simple. Keep yourself and your room meticulously clean. Show up on time for meals. Nettie is not your personal servant. Inform me immediately if you’re sick or there is some other reason you cannot perform your duties and inform Mr. Vasquez as soon as there is a problem of any sort with a customer. You may call him Mr. Gabe but remember, he doesn’t like surprises,” she said ruefully.

  “What if I don’t take anyone up to my room? Will I still be paid?”

  “You will be paid for your work. When you are not seeing a gentleman caller you’ll be serving drinks and talking to the men. You’ll also be added to the rotation in the bathing room. If a man is particularly dirty, and I mean to the point where a wash with a rag and soap upstairs won’t do the trick, they either agree to a bath or they aren’t allowed off the first floor.” She paused and gave a soft smile. “Believe me, the men find it far easier to bear taking a full bath when a pretty gem is waiting to scrub a back and wash his hair and a gem finds it a great deal more pleasant if a clean man shares their bed.” Another pause and then the madame continued. “At times you will be asked to dance with a man, but that’s your decision and your tips are you own to do with as you please. The main thing is be pleasant, attractive, and friendly. It will keep the men coming back even if you choose not to take it any further. I’ll provide you with the basics, your underthings, petticoats and dresses. You’ll be responsible for any other personal needs. Any questions?”

  “When can I move in and start work?”

  “You are a stubborn girl, aren’t you?” Jewel asked, shaking h
er head. “You can move in right away. Della will help you get settled and I’ll have one of the girls show you around. You’ll want a bath and I’ll see what I can find for you to wear until I can have some things made for you. The other girls will help you look your best. I have an image to maintain and I expect all my girls to uphold it.”

  “Thank you,” Clem replied as Jewel rose and led her from the room. “What will my name be?” she asked curiously.

  “Gabe, meet Crystal,” Jewel said as they left the office and approached the bar.

  Gabe laughed. “It’s nice to meet you, Crystal. We’ll get along fine as long as you behave yourself.”

  “Miss Jewel, I was wondering…”

  “What is it, Crystal?”

  “My Pa is being buried in the morning and I was wondering if you or any of the girls have a black dress I could borrow. Or should I go to the graveside wearing my britches? I don’t want anyone to recognize me as Crystal when I’m not working.”

  “Let me think about this,” Jewel replied thoughtfully. “I’ll let you know what I decide later. For now, go on upstairs. You can have the room at the end of the hall, the last door on the left. I’ll send someone up to show you the layout, where you can bathe and lend you something to wear. I can hardly have you running around like that. Be downstairs for dinner at four. We dine early.”

  ***

  “Not quite a gem, is she?” Gabe stated as his eyes traveled from Clementine’s head to her dusty boots as she walked away with Della.

  “I guess not,” Jewel admitted ruefully, “but still, she has quite a bit of sparkle to her don’t you think?”

  “Let’s hope it’s sparkle and not spark. She’s very young, honey. I can’t quite believe you took her on, at least not for upstairs. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

  “No,” Jewel sighed, nibbling on her fingernail, “but what was I supposed to do, turn her out into the street? I tried to point out the details in the most graphic and unappealing way I could, but it didn’t seem to sway her. I think Miss McKay has a stubborn streak, or maybe I should say she’s determined, a bit like me in some aspects.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with wearing a pink petticoat and working down here,” Gabe pointed out, coming out from behind the bar.

  “She was insistent. If I didn’t take her, lord knows what she would have done, maybe end up far worse off. Have you forgotten the condition Della was in when we found her that night in the street?”

  “No,” he growled. “I haven’t forgotten, nor have I forgotten that a few minutes ago you were telling Crystal how attractive you thought Montgomery is. Care to explain that remark?” he asked, stalking towards her with a gleam in his dark eyes.

  “Um, not particularly,” she said with a grin as she backed up, putting her hands behind her back and covering her bottom.

  “I didn’t think so. Let’s step into the office and I’ll remind you who you belong to,” Gabe suggested, grasping her upper arm and pulling her against him when she’d backed herself into a corner.

  Jewel laughed and surrendered, relaxing against him and offering up her lips. When she was breathless, she eased away and fanned her face.

  “Give me a minute to tell Nettie to add another place for dinner. You know how she gets when she isn’t informed about such things. I swear I think she runs this place, her and that dam… um, darn wooden spoon.”

  “A wooden spoon will be the least of your worries if you’re not in that office in five minutes,” Gabe teased.

  “Are you in trouble again?” Opal asked with a laugh as she rounded the corner from the dining room with a cup of coffee.

  “No, but I’m glad you’re up. We have a new girl. Crystal. Della is showing her to her room and she’ll need help getting um… settled in. You’ll know what I mean when you see her. Please make sure everyone welcomes her and tell the girls to have black dresses ready for morning.”

  “Black?”

  “Yes, Crystal is burying her father in the morning and we’ll attend the services. I won’t have one of my girls dealing with that alone.”

  “Aw Jewel, you know I hate to get up early. I need my beauty sleep,” Opal whined.

  “And I know how you hate to sleep on your tummy, but that can be arranged,” John warned, coming up behind the lovely dark haired beauty.

  “Aren’t you due back at the mine soon, Harrison? Humph, I don’t know how I went from being my own boss to having more people ordering me around than I can count,” Opal sniffed disdainfully as she rolled her eyes at her lover.

  John laughed. “Someone seems to be in quite a hurry for me to leave this morning, which is odd since she’s always so happy to see me,” he drawled. “Has a certain little lady been misbehaving and hoping I don’t find out?”

  “Sorry I’m so grumpy this morning, Jewel,” she apologized with a sigh of resignation. “Someone kept me up till just before dawn and even though I adore this overbearing, impossible man, I’m tired. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure everyone does their part. The Red Petticoat gems will be dressed in black and daintily dabbing their eyes at the appropriate time.”

  “Thank you,” Jewel replied gratefully. “Now let me just…”

  “John, would you let Nettie know we’ve hired another girl and ask her to set another place at the table for dinner?” Gabe asked. “Miss Jewel and I have an important meeting, don’t we, honey?”

  “Oh yes, that’s right,” Jewel agreed with a blush as Gabe took her hand and pulled her toward the door at the back of the room.

  “Anything I can help with?” Opal asked with a wink.

  John took the cup from her hand, swatted her smartly on the bottom and handed it back.

  “No sense ruining your pretty dress,” he explained. “And I’m sure Jewel can handle anything that pops up all on her own.”

  “I was only teasing,” Opal called after John. Pouting, she rubbed her behind as she made her way upstairs.

  ***

  Clem was up to her neck in bubbles, lovely, lovely bubbles that smelled of lavender. If she died right this moment it would be with a smile on her face. Never had she bathed in such luxury. Warm silky water caressed every nook and cranny of her body and she never wanted to get out.

  Della had kindly offered to help her wash her hair and it was piled on top of Clem’s head.

  “You’ll be shriveled as all get out if you don’t get out of there pretty soon,” Della warned with a sigh.

  “I don’t care,” Clem purred. “I’ll lie here till the water freezes over next winter,” she insisted, sponging her leg. She liked the delicate, quiet girl and appreciated her assistance, but this was too delicious.

  “You’ll be singing a different tune if Nettie comes in here to hurry you along,” Della advised with a grin.

  “Who’s Nettie?”

  “Technically she’s the cook, and the meals she serves will soon be putting curves on you in all the right places, but Nettie is much more than that. She’s been with Miss Jewel since New Orleans and she wields a lot of power around here. Miss Jewel listens to her, in fact we all do. Of course, the fact that she would have no problem marching in here and smacking your wet ass with her big wooden spoon may have something to do with that,” Della drawled, hiding her grin.

  “You’re joshing me,” Clem gasped, sitting bolt upright in the huge tub.

  “Not a bit. Nettie takes her role very seriously. She’s sort of a… um… well like a Mama Bear protecting her cubs. You are now one of those cubs, like it or not. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly although she’s got a heart of gold. If you ever have a serious problem, Nettie’s the one to see. Her advice almost never fails.”

  “I’ll remember that,” Clem replied, standing with a slight pout and taking the thick towel Della handed to her. “Is there anything else I need to know? What about Mr. Vasquez? What’s his job around here?” she asked, patting herself dry.

  “Gabe is Miss Jewel’s partner, in more ways than one,” Della answered with
a wink. “Jewel is the beauty, charm and grace behind The Red Petticoat and Gabe is, well he’s sort of the enforcer,” she informed Clem after some thought. “He’s a good man, fair and firm, but don’t defy him or you may find yourself over his knee and from what I’ve been told it’s very unpleasant.”

  “My goodness,” Clem said, fanning her face as she collapsed onto a bench.

  “I know,” Della breathed conspiratorially as she began to comb the tangles out of Clem’s hair.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Clem said, reaching back and stopping Della’s hand.

  “I know I don’t and I won’t normally. Today is special. It’s your first day here and while I don’t want to hurt your feelings, it looks like your hair hasn’t been tended to in quite a while. It will go quicker if you let me.”

  “Thank you, and it’s true. I haven’t given much thought to my appearance since we left home. Having people think I was a boy was easier and provided some protection from unwanted advances. Now I’m going to be paid for giving away what I’ve protected for so long. Life is strange, isn’t it?”

  “It is that,” Della agreed. “If it wasn’t for Jewel and Gabe, I wouldn’t be here to help you at all. They saved my life, along with Nettie’s nursing of course.”

  “What happened?” Clem asked gently, looking in the mirror at the pain on Della’s face.

  “I’d rather not talk about it right now,” she admitted truthfully. “Maybe someday when we know each other better I’ll tell you.”

  “Fair enough. What can you tell me about Jewel?”

  “I don’t know everything, mind you, but I do know she came from England and that she’s a Lady, I mean a real Lady with a title. I met her in San Francisco, and I think of her as an Angel of Mercy, at least mine. Opal and Amethyst were already with her, as well as Nettie, Gabe and John. Peridot met them in San Francisco and once the saloon was open, she moved to Culpepper and joined us.

 

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