by Mia Ford
“This is between you and your son. It has nothing to do with me and I would rather not get into the middle of a domestic dispute.” I stood my ground, but I could feel myself weakening underneath her mom stare. “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. There’s no way that you can treat me the same way that you do your son.” She pointed towards the living room and I had no choice. I had to obey. It was almost like it was ingrained in me from the way that my mother could literally give me one look and have me at a loss for words.
Marshall leaned into me and whispered in private “I’m sorry that you have to be here for this. I was hoping that we were never going to have to have that talk. I do have to say that I’m quite surprised to see you here. Pleasantly so, but I still have to wonder what compelled you to come here.” It was an interesting question and one that I was hoping that we could get into it after I had him screaming obscenities and writhing on top of me.
She grabbed us both by the ear. I didn’t know how painful that could be until that very moment. “I will have no secrets when I’m standing right here. If you have something to say, then share it with the rest of the class.” It was obvious to me that her background was in teaching. She knew how to garner respect and when she didn’t get it, there was only one way that she could go to make her point abundantly clear.
“Mother, I’m a grown man and I don’t need you to police my life.” It was nice to see him stand up for himself, but it didn’t look like she was going to let him play the martyr. “I have every right to live the way that I see fit. I really don’t need your permission or acceptance. You might be right and maybe some of what dad did to you rubbed off on me. I never thought of it like that before.” I didn’t want to wait my whole life for a man that had mommy issues.
“I know that you’re old enough to know better. You’re definitely too old to put over my knee, but a good talking to never goes out of style. Maybe if you hear some harsh truths then you will finally realize that your actions have consequences.” She was only small in stature at 5 foot nothing. I could’ve easily taken her, but for some reason, her intimidation tactics were too much for me to bear.
“I watched my father play with your heart and each and every time you came back after he apologized profusely for his actions. I didn’t respect you for that. I understood that you were doing it because you wanted to make it work. I hated him and we’ve never been able to stay in the same room together for any length of time before angry words were spoken.” I sat down with them and the only thing that I could do was listen. I was still feeling this need to drape my leg over the top of him and take that necessary test drive.
There was that awkward silence. This was obviously building up for a very long time. “I didn’t stay with your father because I wanted to make it work. I stayed with your father because I saw some redeeming qualities that I thought we could build on. It took several hours with a therapist before I finally realized that he just didn’t have it in him to be monogamous. I even gave him the benefit of the doubt. I tried to meet him halfway by spicing things up in the bedroom.” I looked at Marshall and he had his hands over his ears like a little child and whistling loudly so that he didn’t have to be subjected to this.
I put my hands on his wrists and I pulled them away. “I think that it is a good idea that we listen to her. She has been keeping this in for a long time and it’s not healthy. I’m starting to understand where the way that you treat women comes from. You’re damaged goods. You may not think so, but there’s something wrong inside you that needs to be fixed. I’m just not sure that I’m the woman that can do that for you. I would like to give it a try. I would feel stupid if I didn’t and you found somebody else.” I wasn’t looking at his mother, but I could hear her breathing like she was doing it over my shoulder.
“I don’t know you and I was really not impressed by the way you manhandled my son. You’re the type of girl that I wouldn’t want him to bring home to dinner. I get this feeling that there is a long line of broken hearts in your wake. That might be something that you have in common with my son.” I didn’t want to hear about my own faults and shortcomings. It didn’t look like I was going to be able to stop drop and roll from a moving vehicle metaphorically speaking. She had me where she wanted me and this was her time to say her peace.
“It was hard seeing you and father at odds. I screamed into my pillow every time that I heard you both arguing loudly. You didn’t take into consideration what that was going to do for a little boy’s self-esteem. I drew in on myself and never was one to make friends. It was only after I got out of school that my resentment turned into something that I don’t even recognize anymore. I actually enjoyed sleeping with women and then never seeing them again. I don’t want to admit this, but I think in some small way it was to get back at you.” This was a huge step and one that made me see the weight coming off his shoulders.
“That’s not something that a mother wants to hear. I’m leaving and I do hope that I have given you food for thought. It’s quite obvious what was going to happen. I can’t even look at you. You’re going to do whatever you want anyway and there’s nothing that I’m going to do to stop you. I think we need some time apart. There has been a lot said here that needed to be said. We both need time to absorb it.” She stepped to the front door and took off the red jacket by the door.
Marshall was about to get up and go after her, but I put my hand on his knee to signify that it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I knew enough about the female species to understand that it was not the time to get into it.
The door closed and Marshall was sitting there stunned staring out into space. This was neither the time nor the place to take our affection to the next level. I was just going to have to find some other outlet that didn’t include our sweaty bodies slamming against one another until we were both spent and had nothing left to give.
“I think that I’m going to leave and this wasn’t a very good idea. I see now that I was overreacting to something else and I was going to use you as a substitute. I’m sure that you wouldn’t have complained in the very least, but this would’ve been monumentally stupid on both of our parts. Don’t get me wrong, I still want you, but you are in no frame of mind to live for the moment. You need to take a cold hard look at yourself. It’s time that you realize that what you have been doing is wrong.” I got up and he latched onto my wrist with pleading eyes.
“I really don’t want you to go. Can you just sit here for a little while and be with me?” It was an odd feeling to sit there with him. I consoled him by touching his hand lightly and putting my head on his shoulder.
This whole thing had taken a lot out of him. It was only a few minutes before he was fast asleep. I very carefully and holding my breath took his arm away from over my shoulders. I laid him back down and I realized that what I was seeing was more than a feeling. The way that I was feeling was nothing like I felt for any man. It didn’t take money and it didn’t take fame. That was the power of the infatuation that I had for Marshall.
I had gone home and had some chamomile tea to calm myself down. My nerves were frayed and I still felt like somebody was watching me. There was a pair of headlights that stayed with me all the way home and then turned the other direction when I got to my road. It had to be just this whole situation and the way that Lillian had acted towards me that got me wired too tight. I wouldn’t have put it past her to have someone following me to make sure that I lived up to my part of the deal.
I lay there in bed not able to get a wink of sleep and then I heard what sounded like glass breaking. I bolted straight up, grabbing for the nearest thing that I could use as a weapon. The only thing that I had on hand was a hair dryer. It was heavy and using it like a weapon might be perfect for sending the right message.
I very slowly went out of my bedroom, standing there in the darkness trying to adjust my eyes and then I saw the shadow of somebody by the broken window. Whoever it was had come in from th
e fire escape and was now skulking in the darkness like a specter of the night.
I tiptoed very carefully, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and my long hair hanging over my breasts to hide my nudity. I wasn’t even concerned that he might be here for more than just stealing me blind. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be in danger.
I wanted to shock whoever it was. I turned on the lamp to illuminate a man that should’ve been home nursing a hangover.
“I followed you and now I know where you live.” He had the stink of alcohol on his breath. Marshall had obviously gotten into the bottle to wash away his sins. “I don’t think that it was very fair of you for leaving me in my state. I barely heard the door close. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to keep up with you. I saw you go into this building and I wanted to join you, but I thought better of it. I didn’t get very far before I found myself with cash in hand buying a bottle of cognac. I’m just one step up from those that panhandle on the street.” I still held the hair dryer in my fist turning my fingers white. I wasn’t sure what to expect.
“You must know that you’re drunk and you’re not acting in your right mind. You broke my window. What exactly did you expect was going to happen? Did you want me to run into your arms like a fairy tale character and give you my love and undying devotion? Did you want to sleep it off here, because you were afraid of what your mother might think if she came over and found you like this?” I was still a few feet away from him and this was not the way that I was going to cement our bond.
“It’s not fair and everything was perfectly fine before you came into my life. I enjoyed having sex with multiple partners and not even bothering to learn their name. There were a couple of girls that really left a lasting impression. There was this older girl, very appreciative and responsive to the point that I wasn’t able to hold her down. Lillian knows how to push my buttons, but I couldn’t allow her to find a place in my heart. It was sick and I began to see her as my mother. I know that any therapist would have had a field day with that one.” He was swaying on his feet and the putrid stench coming from his mouth made me cringe and want to be anyplace but here.
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do for you, Marshall. I’m going to set you up out here on the couch. You can sleep it off and then we can talk about it in the morning. It’s very early and only roosters and farmers are up at this time of night or early morning. Take your pick. I’m not going to let you drive in your condition. You could have hurt somebody severely by driving here.” I wasn’t even sure that he was listening to me and it felt like he was staring right through me.
“I might be drunk, but I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Wait…did I say, that, right? I had enough sense not to drive here. I left my car in the liquor store parking lot most likely being stripped for parts as we speak. I got a taxi and I was on my way home, but I found myself telling him to drop me off here.” That at least gave me a feeling of relief that he wasn’t on the road becoming a menace to society.
“Don’t even think for one moment that you are going to get into my bed. It is a very comfy queen size. There’s more than enough for the both of us, but that’s not going to happen.” I went over to a hope chest and opened it to the smell of must assaulting my senses. There were a few blankets. I pulled a couple of them out and used them to get him ready for bed. It was making me feel like I was a nursemaid.
“I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me. I’ve given you no reason to and yet you keep coming back for more. What exactly does that say for you? I’ve been playing a game from the moment that I met you and you bought into it. I can’t be trusted and I’ve tried to stay away, but you’re a hard woman to forget.” He crashed against the table that had the lamp on it and sent it to the floor with a terrible crash. The only light had been extinguished. The room masked us both in darkness and shadows that danced on the wall.
I could see his shadow coming towards me in a lumbering fashion. He acted like his shoes were untied. He fell forward and was soon smothering me underneath him. We were on the couch and he was mauling me like some Neanderthal thinking that the right way to a woman’s heart was by clubbing them over the head.
That little boy smile really was enough to bring me to my knees. He had his hands on my breasts and I could feel him clumsily trying to tweak my nipples. I should have stopped him, but it felt so good that I didn’t want it to stop.
“I don’t think that you’re going to feel very good about this in the morning.” He lifted his head and smiled with his eyes half closed. He nuzzled my neck with his tongue touching on that very spot. “Oh, fuck it… It’s not like I don’t want you.” That tongue swirled and caused me to feel this certain wetness creeping from between my legs.
He bit my shoulder, causing me to jerk in his grasp with the moonlight shining through the window. I could see his tongue snaking out of his mouth. I felt the wetness contact with my skin and I shivered like a pubescent girl about to have her first time.
“I can’t see how you can know what you’re doing in this condition. The liquor that you consumed is running upstream against any good sense.” I found myself spreading my legs with one over the back of the couch and one planted firmly on the floor.
“You can’t tell me that this isn’t what you want. You’ve been flaunting your body every chance that you get. There’s just so much that a man can take before he reaches his limit. I’m just a man with needs, but I know that you’re a woman with your own needs. Let me prove to you that I can be the man that you want me to be.” His tongue moved down while igniting my body with spastic waves of pleasure that had me anxious to see what he was going to do next.
“I do appreciate that you are willing to go that extra mile. It says something about your character, especially when you are in no frame of mind to realize what you’re doing.” His hands were all over me and they were awkward. There was no pattern and he was all over the place. That made him unpredictable and had me literally in the palm of his hands.
“You are so…so fucking hot that it’s hard for me to think of anything other than your beautiful body.” It was a nice thing to say, but how he was able to string two sentences together was beyond me. “I can’t believe that I’m fortunate enough to touch you. It is a dream come true and one that I will remember forever.” I had my doubts that he was going to remember his own name in the morning.
I held my breath and I swallowed hard when he bit my eraser hard nipple. I felt him pull it away from my body and then turn his attention to the other one to do the same thing. He was chewing on the tips, licking in circles and giving me a reason to let this continue even if he was using the liquor as an excuse.
“You’re definitely…ahh…earning some brownie points that I’m sure that you’re going to have to use at some point to get out of the dog house. Fuck…you do know what you’re doing, even if you are drunk off your ass.” I held his head and moved my hand through his hair while pressing him tightly against my right breast. I was extra sensitive and only those that had been with me in the past would know that.
I cried out a couple of times and my legs bucked from underneath him. He finally gave me my space, but only enough to move into position. He was pulling my shorts to the side. When that wasn’t enough, he lifted my legs into the air and took them off and flung them into the air.
“I just want to make you feel as good as you have made me feel. Just having you in my life gives me hope that there is room for love in my heart.” He surprised me with that comment, but I wasn’t going to read too much into it. “Those lips demand to be kissed.” I thought for sure that he was going to come up with that breath of his and make me endure the sloppy way that he would kiss me.
It was when he penetrated the barrier between my legs that had me lifting my whole body off the couch. “Yes…deeper…fuck me with that tongue and make me cream down my legs. I want you and I have been fighting this feeling for too long. You can see how wet I am and how desperate I am to…to… Jesus…a
nymore of that and I won’t be responsible for my actions.” I don’t know how he managed, but he slowed down and gave me an agonizing tongue lashing.
I heard the sloppy way that he was licking me, but it didn’t matter. His technique might’ve been a little all over the place, but it was getting me there. I was humping my ass off the couch with my hands over my head holding onto the arms of the couch. I could feel it growing inside me like an alien presence that was going to burst from my stomach like in that movie.
I could feel his hands gripping my thighs and digging his fingernails in for good measure. I wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t see that there was a place that I wanted to be other than right here and right now.
“You make me feel like I’m flying and that somehow I’m out of my body looking down and watching all of this happen. I feel like I’m floating in the ether of our desire for one another. You have no idea what you have started. The only thing that I know is that you better finish or I will have to take matters into my own hands.” His tongue was darting in and out of me with his two thumbs rubbing the pleasure center of my sex.
He was like a ravenous animal, completely unhinged and going after me like I was his last meal. I looked down and I could see the stain of my juices coating his lips like a very obscene milk mustache. He looked up, but he really wasn’t there. He was able to stay in the moment, but I had no idea how.
“You…definitely know how to touch me in just the right way.” This was so much better than my fingers and he was putting to shame the young man that I had gone to for this specific act of debauchery.
