by Ramona Finn
He runs a hand through his thick hair, then speaks again. “No, I don’t. But you still can’t go.”
I clench my hands into fists in anger. “Why not? You let the others go! You’re such a hypocrite! You don’t like the biogear, but you think it’s important enough that you require me to have it on before I go out? How does that make any sense?!”
I try to push past him and go down the tunnel anyway, defying his orders, but his hand reaches out for my upper arm. He jerks me back around to face him. “You can’t go,” he tells me seriously, his dark eyes boring into mine. “I won’t allow it.”
“Why not?” I demand.
He hesitates a second longer, and then he finally says, “Because I care about you, Lib. More than I should.”
Before I can process his words, he leans down until his mouth touches mine. I know I’m supposed to be over him, but I can’t help it—my eyes flutter closed. I’m supposed to be strong and to move past whatever this is between us. But in this moment, I can’t. When his arms go around my waist and pull me closer, I know that all I want is to stay here with him. To let him kiss me as long as he wants.
I won’t go to the Empties. I’ll just sleep and dream of Wolf’s kiss.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I feel happy, almost giddy with the memory of his confession to me from last night. Part of me worried when I got up that he’d take it all back and pretend that it meant nothing, now that day has come and we’ve each slept on our conversation, but when I walked into the main hall for breakfast, he came up to me and kissed me on the cheek. It wasn’t full of the emotional upheaval that came with las night, but it tinged my cheeks red and I was perfectly aware of the attention it got.
He did it deliberately, too. To show me and everyone else that he cares.
It’s a large part of my good mood today, though as the rest of my team filters into the room we use for planning missions, I can tell that they mostly don’t feel the same as I do. Alis has forgone this particular meeting altogether, though I know that’s only temporary. She’s still annoyed after our conversation, but she’ll come back. I’m sure of it. Penny and Star are sitting on the dirt floor with their backs against the wall. They seem in pretty good spirits, but then, they usually are. They look like night and day. Penny, who comes from a clan far to the North, where she swears it’s a tundra and not a desert, is a much lighter tan, almost pale even, and has sandy blonde hair that she wears in twin braids. Star has short, jet black hair and much darker skin. She paints her lips red and wears fitted clothing. She’s also about half as tall as Penny. Their personalities are opposites, too, but they maintain their friendship easily.
I often wonder how they do it.
Pike is smoothing a buttery substance across her skin over the top of her newest henna design, her vest laid to the side until she’s finished. Her hair is in a series of tiny, long braids, pulled up into a loose, wide ponytail that keeps the longer ones from hanging in her face.
I do a quick look for the rest of our group, but notice that both Hawk and Crow are missing. “Where are the others?” I ask Pike.
She doesn’t even glance up as she answers. “Who knows? Crow’s been in a mood today. I don’t know who ground their heel in his heart, but it’s making him a real jerk.”
I frown. What’s wrong with Crow? Why is he having trouble? I almost ask the group as a whole, but decide that’s maybe a private thing. Instead I ask, “And Hawk?”
“Probably following Crow around like a little puppy.” She snorts. “What a dork.”
Hawk is young. Younger than the rest of us. Not by a lot, but the difference is elevated by a lack of experience. It’s part of the reason he decided to join our little group.
Before we can say anything more about the only two boys in our group, the objects of our discussion come down the tunnel. It’s just as Pike suggested. Crow comes in first, looking annoyed. He’s followed closely by Hawk, his youthful face as eager as ever, his eyes bright as he chatters away.
“…all the drama and—”
Crow swivels to face him, causing the other boy to barrel into Crow’s significantly larger chest. “Would you knock it off already? You talk more than anyone I’ve ever met before!”
Hawk’s mouth snaps shut and I can see the hurt in his eyes. When did Hawk become so attached to Crow?
“You guys are late,” I comment. I’m in too good of a mood to be really scolding, but I admit that I’m anxious to get started. I can’t go on missions right now; the least I can do is plan them.
Crow stalks away from Hawk to join us at the small table with the map carved into the surface. “Sorry to have intruded upon your day,” Crow tells me sarcastically.
A frown pulls at my lips. Crow is never this… upset with me. I don’t know what I’ve done, and I open my mouth to ask him, but he says, “Are we going to start or what?”
I glance around at the others, but they seem not to have noticed Crow’s mood. Or at least they’re ignoring it pretty well. Either way, I push it aside and treat it as though it isn’t noticeable or biting.
“Right. Well, as you know, I’ve been temporarily banned from missions—”
Crow makes a derisive noise in his throat. “By your own doing,” he mutters.
I shoot him a look, but don’t comment on it. Instead, I just continue to address the group. “But that doesn’t mean our goals have changed. We still need to know what’s going on with the AI. Which means that we’ve got a lot of planning to do for when we get back in the game.”
“Back in the game?” Pike repeats. “What do you mean? Just because you’re grounded doesn’t mean the rest of us are. We can still go out and—”
I hold up a hand to silence her. “No,” I say with firmness and certainty. “This stuff is dangerous, and if Wolf finds out—”
“So this is all about Wolf then, isn’t it?” demands Crow, sounding angry. “Who cares if he knows or not? He’s not the boss of us!”
I’m surprised by Crow’s vehemence. What’s wrong with him? I want to ask, but I don’t think it’ll get me anywhere. Taking a deep breath, I try to make them understand. “Wolf is the leader of the Tracker Clan. Whether we agree with that or not doesn’t matter. He’s still in charge. If he doesn’t like these missions, they’ll stop. And he’ll stop them by Trying to keep you guys safe.” I hesitate, guilt coming at me for dragging them into this. “I’m trying to keep you guys safe, too.”
Penny and Star have thus far been quiet, just sitting with each other and making what looks like rock-beaded bracelets. But Star jumps in now, getting up. She’s still incredibly short when she stands, an almost miniature version of a person. “I don’t get why us not going is what’s best for us,” she comments, though she doesn’t sound angry like Crow and Pike do. Penny looks up at me, too, but remains seated and silent. She’s watching the show unfold rather than participating as of yet.
Addressing the group again, I try once more. “Because it’s dangerous—”
“We knew that when we started,” Pike reminds me, folding her arms across her flat chest. Her creamy lotion has been put away.
Biting my lip, I nod. “I know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t feel comfortable asking you guys to risk something when I can’t risk it myself, right along with you. It’s not fair, and I won’t ask you to do it.”
For a second, everyone’s quiet. I’m waiting for another angry outburst, probably from Crow, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “Are you done with the missions permanently?” he asks cautiously, sending out feelers before committing to whatever he wants to say next.
I shake my head. “No. I’ll start up again. I’m just waiting on—” I break off. Do I really want to tell them? No. No more than I wanted to tell Alis. But I need to give them something. I can see their confidence in me waning. Finally, I say, “I’m waiting for answers. And I can’t move forward without them. No matter how much I want to.”
Not rea
lly the answer their looking for, but they won’t get more from me. “What answers?” Crow asks.
I shake my head. “It’s complicated. I’m just trying to play it safe.”
Crow’s features soften ever so slightly. The angry scar down his cheek makes him look like half of him is still furious with me, but the other half seems to have forgiven me. “Alright, then. I guess now we just need to see who still wants to go.”
My brow furrows in confusion. “What?”
Crow fixes me with an intense stare that’s full of meaning, even if I’m not sure what that meaning is. “You don’t have to ask us to do this, Lib. We agreed to the dangerous part before, and so long as you’re still standing by us, even if you can’t go, then I at least am going to stick with it.”
Within moments, Pike and everyone else have piped up with their agreement.
“But, you shouldn’t—”
Crow steps closer to me. “We know the risks. And you think this is important. Let us do this for you.”
I don’t want to say yes. I want to tell him that this is all dangerous and stupid and that, if I’m not taking the risk, no one else should be either. But then I remember how angry I was with Wolf. How he forbade me from going on missions just because of my lack of biogear. How he made it clear that I wasn’t even allowed to go to the Empties on my own anymore. He said he was doing it because he cares—and I think I believe him. But does that make it right?
I don’t think it does. Which means that, if these people, my friends, want to take the risk, then preventing them from doing so is wrong, too.
With a heavy sigh, I nod. “Okay. But be careful, please. And keep me in the loop. I want to know what’s going on out there and what progress the AI is making.”
Crow offers me a half smile, his eyes alight with excitement. “It’s settled. Now, let’s get down to business.”
…
For the next four days, things go smoothly. In the week that I’ve been grounded from missions, my team has already gone to the Norm once to check on the building status. The AI has been busy, and construction is moving rapidly. It’s given us a renewed sense of urgency, but the team can’t get there often. It’s rare that only those we trust are placed on the same team, and I insist that we not risk bringing anyone else into the fold. Mostly because I’m not sure who to trust. Still, at least we have some information about the AI and the Norm. And no one’s discovered what we’re up to.
I’ve tangled with mixed feelings over Wolf. On the one hand, I can’t deny the feelings he brings up in me. Heat and giddiness. A sense of contentment and peace. Comfort that I can’t seem to find anywhere else. But it isn’t enough to make me completely ignore the rest of it.
How he insists that I not go out on missions, even though he doesn’t like biogear and even though I’m perfectly capable. How he thinks that biogear is unnatural, just like Bird does. How, despite how he treats me, he still seems prejudiced against the Glitches.
I don’t know how to reconcile these things, and it makes me hesitant to trust him. Because part of me wants to tell him about why I want to keep an eye on the Norm. The other part of me is sure that he won’t like it and that he’ll insist I stop. Neither of these things sits well with me. So, for now, I keep my silence.
I’m headed down the hallway today to talk about what they found when they last went to the Norm. I want to see if we can really get the details down, and maybe come up with a real concept of what the AI is working on. Probably, we don’t have enough insight yet, but my days aren’t feeling quite as full lately without the missions.
I’m halfway down the tunnel when I start to hear it. A commotion. Raised voices. Shuffling feet. I frown. What is that? I quicken my pace, though not quite to running, and when I round the corner I see Crow angrily shouting at another Rogue. I don’t know him. He looks familiar, but I can’t place him or put a name to him. But I break out into a full run because I know the looks on both of these men’s faces. Anger. And the urge to fight.
“… our leader!” the other Rogue spits angrily back at Crow. I’ve missed the first part of their argument, but ‘leader’ means Wolf. They’re arguing about him.
“You don’t know the first thing about it!” Crow counters and he pulls his arm back, his hand balling into a fist.
My eyes widen. He’s going to punch the other Rogue. “No!” I shout at him and hurry forward. I catch Crow’s arm just before he releases it into the other Rogue’s face. He looks at me, startled, but I can still see the spark of anger there, too. “Stop it!” I order him firmly. He hesitates. I can tell he really wants to punch this Rogue. After a moment, he shakes me off. I worry that he’ll throw the punch anyway, but all he does is get in the face of the other man.
“This isn’t over. You keep running your mouth and there’s going to be trouble. Believe it.”
The other Rogue glances at me. I can see contempt shining there and I frown. I thought this was about Wolf? But he waves off Crow and leaves the tunnel for another room. When we can no longer hear the echoes of his footsteps, I turn to Crow. “What was that all about?”
“What else? Wolf.”
“What about him?” I ask cautiously.
Crow snorts and makes an ugly face that’s made uglier by his scar. “He’s slacking in his leadership. I think, maybe, he shouldn’t be taking charge anymore. Maybe it’s time for someone to step up.”
Instantly, I’m furious. Of course there is some conflict these days. The biogear, the missions, the deaths... but that isn’t a reflection on Wolf! He hasn’t done anything wrong—no matter what Alis thinks or what Crow thinks. And maybe no matter what I’ve thought, too.
“That’s ridiculous,” I tell him, feeling outraged on behalf of Wolf.
Crow’s features soften a little, but the anger in his eyes hasn’t left. “Funny. He said that, too.” He gestures towards the tunnel where the other Rogue just disappeared to, and it hits me. The other Rogue was defending Wolf. It was Crow that doesn’t support Wolf.
I open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. I can’t think of what to say, though I sense I should say something. Anything.
Finally, Crow smirks and shakes his head. “It’s not ridiculous, Lib,” he says finally. “A lot of people would rather see you in charge than that rigid, prejudiced idiot. Remember that.”
Before I can find my voice, Crow is gone and I’m left wondering just how many people would really want me in charge.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
If I thought keeping the peace would be easy, I was seriously mistaken. It took only one more week of fighting for things to get really bad. Little spats were popping up everywhere, and neither me nor Wolf could truly contain them. Some of the Rogues are upset because Wolf is showing me so much attention. Some feel that he isn’t fit to be leader anymore, like his including me in the clan like a Rogue instead of a Glitch is somehow showing that he’s a flawed leader.
The fighting, he probably could have kept under control... until Komodo comes into it.
I’m talking with Hawk about training. Although he’s eager and willing, he’s not really very good at the physical combat aspect of all of this. I’ve been trying to help him along, with Crow. We’re just leaving the training room when I spot Komodo. He’s a member of the council, but otherwise I don’t know him well. But, I do know he doesn’t like me. I’d keep walking, except that I see the person he’s talking with. It’s Wolf, and he doesn’t look happy.
“Lib? Are you coming to the common room?” Hawk asks me when he notices that I’ve stopped and lagged behind him.
I don’t take my eyes off of Wolf and Komodo as I answer him, “No. You go ahead. I’ll catch up in a minute.”
He shrugs his shoulders, and turns and leaves without further comment. I move towards Wolf, sensing that the potential fight here could be worse than the others. Komodo isn’t a small man and neither is Wolf. If things escalate physically, it’s going to be bad.
I get closer and am about to
intervene, to try and soothe some of the tensions, but I’m stopped by Bird. I haven’t seen her lately beyond our sleeping arrangements, not since the ceremony in which she tried to help me see. I try to shake her off, but she holds firm to me. “Don’t,” she whispers to me.
Frowning, I say, “But they’re going to fight!”
Shaking her head, she leans closer. “Not right now.”
Not understanding, I glance between Komodo and Wolf, trying to figure it out. Their postures are tense, their eyes narrowed, their mouths pursed into thin lines on their hard faces. They look like mirrors of each other. It looks like they’re going to fight right now, but neither of them is making a concrete move towards the other. In fact, they’re silent. All they’re doing is staring at one another.
“What… what are they doing?” I ask Bird.
She takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly. Finally, she says, “It’s a challenge.”
“A challenge?” I repeat.
She nods. “There are a few ways you can become clan leader. If the last leader named you, that’ll work if you’re of age when the leader dies. You can also be voted in by the council, but that’s usually only in emergencies.”
“You said a few,” I tell her when she falls silent. “Is there another way?”
She nods solemnly. “Yes. If someone issues a challenge to the current leader, they must fight to resolve the challenge.”
My chest tightens at the idea that Wolf has to fight Komodo for leadership. “And if the current leader refuses to fight?”
“Then he must step down. No questions.”
And now I know. There’s no way that Wolf will step down. He’s going to have to fight Komodo.
…
I’ve been trying to talk Wolf out of this fight for the last twenty minutes. He won’t listen. He tells me it’s important, just as Bird did, but I still don’t like the idea of him facing off against Komodo. It seems not only dangerous, but needless.
