“Maybe she’s with Brandon,” Aaron said.
“She better not be with that punk,” he snapped loudly.
Aaron winced.
Sean sadly lowered his head and wrapped his arms around his son. “I’m sorry, bud. I’m just worried.”
“Does she have her cell phone on her?” Michelle asked.
Sean nodded. “She never goes anywhere without it.”
“You could call it,” Michelle suggested.
Sean pulled his phone out.
Michelle laid her hand on his. “Wait! That might spook her.”
“Hold on!” Aaron suddenly declared, and he ran upstairs to Ashley’s room.
They followed close behind.
Aaron seated himself at Ashley’s desk, opened her laptop, and started scrolling through the posts on her Facebook wall.
Sean hovered over him.
“Somebody tagged her in some photos,” Aaron announced. “See.” He clicked on one that showed Ashley with a couple of her friends at a party, then scrolled through several others, including one of her kissing a guy. His face was not clearly visible in the photo.
“That’s gotta be Brandon,” Sean stated with gritted teeth.
Michelle pointed at the screen. “It looks like they were just posted an hour ago.”
Aaron clicked through a few more.
“Look,” Michelle grabbed Sean’s arm. “That one says ‘Party at Brandon’s’.”
Sean was out the door before she finished her sentence. He called his brother, and they dropped Aaron off at his house on the way.
As they drove across town, Sean was seething.
“You need to calm down and have a level head when you go in there,” Michelle told him.
He gripped the steering wheel so hard his fingers turned white. “I’m not gonna calm down. My daughter is somewhere she knows she’s not supposed to be.”
Michelle said nothing more.
Brandon’s house was old and run-down and not in a very nice neighborhood. The yard was overflowing with cars, and there was loud, thumping music coming from within.
Michelle followed behind Sean as he entered through the front door.
There were lots of underage kids drinking, smoking pot, and making out. A strong feeling of deja vu hit Michelle. She had been at parties just like this when she was Ashley’s age. She had been the girl getting high and making out with older guys.
They walked from room to room, scanning the crowd for Ashley. Sean started calling out her name, which drew strange looks from the kids. As they reached the back of the house, they finally found her curled up in a ball in the corner of a dark stairway. The expression on Sean’s face at the sight of his daughter broke Michelle’s heart.
“Ashley.”
Ashley’s face was tear-streaked, her eyes wide with horror. “Dad? What are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“Let’s go.”
She broke down sobbing, and he scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the house.
Michelle slid open the side door of the van, and Sean lowered Ashley onto the seat.
“Are you OK? Are you hurt?” he asked.
Michelle reached into her purse, pulled out a tissue, and started to wipe Ashley’s tears.
Ashley slapped her hand away. “Don’t! You’re not my mom.”
She was close enough to smell alcohol on Ashley’s breath.
Sean paced back and forth beside the van. She could tell he was doing everything he could to keep control.
“Tell me,” he demanded. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Brandon,” she whimpered.
Sean spun around and covered his face with his hands. He was very close to losing it.
“What did he do to you?” Michelle asked.
“I found him in bed with my friend, Ari.” She spoke through more tears.
Sean turned and looked at her. “He didn’t touch you?”
“Nobody touched me, Dad.”
He let out a relieved sigh. “You are so lucky, young lady. Do you know what could have happened to you tonight?”
Ashley didn’t reply, and he slid the van door closed between them and climbed behind the steering wheel.
Michelle returned to the passenger seat and looked over at him.
He took a few deep breaths in and out, then started the van.
“Do you want me to drive home?” Michelle asked.
“I’m fine,” he cried.
He was far from fine. And neither was his daughter.
Back at the house, there was a lot of yelling and slamming of doors. Michelle sat at the kitchen table and prayed for them. She wished she could help. As she sat there, the image of her screaming at her mother, slamming her bedroom door, then sneaking out later that night popped into her mind. And she suddenly saw the entire situation from her mother’s perspective. She suddenly understood that helpless feeling a parent gets when their child is out of control and they have no idea what to do about it.
Sean came stomping down the stairs after Ashley locked herself in the bathroom to get cleaned up from the party. He plopped down at the table next to Michelle and rested his head in his hands. “Bet you’re glad you came to visit, huh?”
“I am, actually. I think I can help you.”
He looked up at her, exhausted and at a loss. “How?”
“When we walked into that party tonight, it was like stepping back in time. That was my life. Exactly my life.”
He listened intently as she shared about her partying ways, losing her virginity at Ashley’s age, thinking she had to put out for guys to like her.
“I’ve been where she is right now. Maybe I did it for different reasons, but we’re the same.”
“But how can you help?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I can just tell her my story. See if she’ll at least listen to me. It’s worth a try.”
“I’m open to anything at this point.” His head sank back into his hands.
Michelle took a seat at Ashley’s desk and waited for her to return to her room. She had no idea how this conversation would go, but she had to try. Her stomach was tied up in knots. She wanted to help, so much. She wanted to make things better for Ashley. But if this didn’t go well, she would have to walk down those stairs and see the disappointment in a father’s eyes.
Lord, please help me. Give me the right words to get through to her.
“Get out of my room!” Ashley cried when she spotted Michelle.
Michelle held her hands up. “I come in peace.”
“Whatever! Just get out!” Ashley picked up some clothes from the floor and threw them into her hamper.
“I thought you might wanna talk to someone other than your dad.”
“Well, you thought wrong,” Ashley snapped. She walked over and sat down at her vanity.
Michelle was quiet for a few minutes, while Ashley combed through her wet locks.
“You can go now.” Ashley stared at Michelle’s reflection in the mirror.
“I grew up in Chicago, too. Did you know that? I lived in the city with my mom in a crappy little apartment.”
“Who cares.”
Michelle ignored her and continued. “My parents weren’t around very much, so I could pretty much do whatever I wanted and get away with it.”
Ashley grabbed her cell phone and started checking her messages, but still Michelle talked.
“And I did for the most part. I went all over town with my friends. We went to parties, got drunk, smoked pot. We thought we were so cool.”
Ashley glanced at her, then back at her phone.
“I used to be so in love with this guy, Tyler. He was sixteen, a couple years older than me, and I thought he was everything.”
Ashley rolled her eyes.
“But he was a lot more experienced than me, and I thought the only way to get him to like me was to put out. So we got really drunk at a party one night, and I lost my virginity to him on some kid’s parents’ bed.” Michelle p
aused. She was surprised how raw the emotions were, and she fought back tears. “I’ve never told anyone but your dad about that.”
Ashley looked over at her and set down her phone. She reached for a tissue and held it out to Michelle.
“Thanks.” Michelle dabbed her eyes.
“Did he like you?” Ashley asked.
Michelle was surprised to hear her voice.
“Was he your boyfriend after that?”
Michelle shook her head sadly.
“What a jerk.”
“Can I ask about your friend, Brandon?”
“Brandon’s not like that Tyler guy.” Ashley’s defenses went up. “He’s the sweetest. He would never hurt me.”
“Have you forgotten what happened at the party? If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t have had sex with your friend.”
Ashley’s chin fell.
Michelle had to ask. “Have you had sex with him?”
“That’s none of your business,” Ashley snapped, her attention returning to her phone.
Michelle closed her eyes and prayed silently for guidance. When her eyes opened, she noticed a tear slip down Ashley’s cheek.
“You can talk to me. Nothing you say will leave this room.”
Ashley brushed the tear from her cheek, but said nothing.
Michelle didn’t push. She stood and walked to Ashley’s bookcase and looked at the pictures of her with her mom, with her dad, some of the whole family together. There were photos of her with friends and one with a boy, who might have been Brandon, but she thought it best not to ask. She looked back to the photo of Ashley with her mother. Lindsay was an attractive woman with a vibrant smile and bright eyes. Sean had been right — the resemblance between Ashley and her mom was unmistakable.
“You’re so lucky,” Michelle said. “Such a beautiful family. My family was a mess. My dad was never around. I barely knew him. And my mom worked all the time.”
“At least you have a mom,” Ashley blurted. Large tears fell from her eyes, and her shoulders began to shake. She threw herself down and cried into her comforter.
Michelle wasn’t sure what to do next. This was all new to her. She slowly walked to the bed, sat down, and laid her hand on Ashley’s back. When Ashley didn’t jerk or slap her hand away, Michelle took that as a good sign.
She began to run her fingers softly through Ashley’s damp hair. She had very few memories of bonding moments with her mother, but one thing she remembered was how much she loved Mom playing with her hair when she was little.
“Your dad went crazy looking for your tonight, because he was so worried something might’ve happened to you. He loves you more than anything in this world. You know that, right?”
Ashley’s head moved a little, and she took that as a nod.
“I wish I’d had that when I was your age. I wish I had it now.”
Ashley turned her head a little and rested her cheek on the bed. “Your dad doesn’t love you?”
“I don’t know. If he does, he’s never showed it.”
They were quiet while Michelle continued playing with Ashley’s hair. Her thoughts returned to the party, to Brandon sleeping with Ashley’s friend.
“I’m sorry about what you saw at the party tonight. I had the same thing happen to me with Tyler more than once, and it hurts to see the guy you like with someone else.”
Ashley propped herself up on her elbow and looked at Michelle.
“But now you know what he’s really like. And Ashley …” She reached over and cupped her cheek. “You deserve better."
Giant tears filled Ashley’s eyes.
“I wish someone had told me that when I was your age.” She went back to playing with Ashley’s hair. “I can’t go back and change the things I did. I can’t ever get my virginity back.” She choked up for a minute, thinking of what had happened between her and Sean, what she had taken from him. “It’s a precious gift, and I wish I’d saved myself until God brought me the right guy to marry.”
A single tear slipped down Ashley’s cheek.
Michelle shifted and looked her straight in the eyes. “Have you had sex with Brandon? You can tell me.”
“No, I’ve never had sex before,” Ashley mumbled.
Oh, thank God.
“Then you have a choice. You can choose to save that part of you for your future husband — for him and only him.”
Ashley wiped the tear away.
“And I know you think these people are your real friends. I thought the same thing about mine. But they aren’t. They’ll use you, and then they’ll leave you with nothing. I guarantee you God has wonderful people out there that are meant to be your true friends — supportive, encouraging friends, who really love you. You deserve all the blessings God has planned for you, Ashley.”
The tears spilled from Ashley’s pretty blue eyes then, and she reached for Michelle.
Michelle wrapped her up in her arms, and Ashley began to weep into her neck.
“I miss my Mom,” she murmured. “I need her.”
Michelle closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “I know you do.”
“Why did God take her away?”
“I don’t know, Ashley.” Her heart broke for this sweet girl. “I’m so sorry about your mom.” She held onto her for a long time and let her cry it out.
When Ashley’s tears subsided, she seemed more comfortable with Michelle. “I’m mad at God.”
Michelle nodded knowingly. “I get that. It’s OK to feel that way. I’ve had moments like that, too.”
“About what?”
“Well, it’s nothing as serious as losing a parent, but back in college, I liked your dad. A lot. And when he left school and came back to Chicago, I was really sad. Then he met your mom, and I was angry with God for taking him away from me. I let it get in the way of my relationship with God for a long time. But now I can see all that as His plan. If your dad hadn’t left, he might not have met your mom, and you might not be sitting here with me right now. I can’t be angry with God for that.”
Ashley smiled at her — a real, honest-to-goodness smile. It was a little breakthrough, and Michelle wanted to shout for joy. Thank you, Lord.
“We don’t always understand why things happen. But one day, after some time has passed, we might look back and see things differently. It’s OK to be upset, though.”
Ashley glanced down for a moment, then back at Michelle. “Are you still sad?”
“About what? About your dad leaving college?” Michelle asked.
Ashley nodded in reply.
“Sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if we would have stayed together if he hadn’t left.” She shrugged. “What might have been.”
“But you’re together now. You found each other again. That’s a good thing, right?”
Michelle couldn’t have put it better herself. “Do you think it’s a good thing?”
Ashley’s mouth twisted a little to the side, like she was pondering the situation.
“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want me to be with your dad.”
“I think I’m OK with it.”
When Michelle emerged, Sean was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She stopped at the top of the stairs, and her presence caught his eye.
He walked over and looked up at her. “How’d it go?”
Michelle tilted her head in the direction of Ashley’s room. “You should go talk to her.”
“Are you sure?”
Michelle nodded.
He raced up the stairs past Michelle to his daughter’s room.
She heard Ashley say, “I’m so sorry, Daddy”, and she knew it was a step in the right direction. They had a long road ahead of them, but she felt like she had broken through to Ashley — enough that she was willing to open up a little. There were a lot of things they would need to work through, but she believed her words had made an impact.
Michelle was exhausted and decided to turn in for the night. She collapsed onto the bed and thought about all th
at had happened since she arrived. In sharing her story with Ashley, she realized that she still had a lot of her own issues over what she had done as a young teen and the ways she had let guys use her. That had carried over into her betrayal with Ben, her relationship with Simon, and into the kitchen with Sean last night.
Lord, thank you for helping me through the conversation with Ashley. Thank you that you kept her from harm tonight, that you led us to her, and that she is home safe and sound. Be with Sean and the kids as they continue to grieve. And, Lord, about my issues — show me how to deal with them and make things right that need to be. I miss Maggie and Simon. Help me figure out how to fix things and …
She drifted off to sleep mid-prayer.
A pressure on Michelle’s hip and a gentle jostle woke her suddenly.
“What is it?” She sat up to Sean’s handsome face illuminated by the moonlight through her window. “Is it Ashley?” She was groggy, unsure if this was a dream.
His hand remained on her hip. “She’s gonna be fine.”
“Oh,” she rubbed her eyes. “Are you OK?”
He nodded, and suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around her. His fingers gripped the back of her shirt, and warm tears soon dripped onto her shoulder.
She pulled back and looked at him. Tears filled his eyes, some plopping down his cheeks. The sight of a man crying got her every time. She gently brushed his tears away.
He closed his eyes at her touch.
She traced his cheek and along his jawline.
When he looked at her again, her stomach flipped. Such tenderness behind those eyes, and that same look of adoration he had given her the day he left Cornerstone for good. “Thank you, Michelle.”
“You’re welcome. I just shared my own story with her. I wish I could have done more.”
“You’ve done so much already. And you were right about a counselor. I think she needs to keep talking.”
Michelle nodded. “She does.”
“I think we all do.” He sat back and wiped the remaining tears from his face, then took a deep breath and looked at her again. “I’m sorry to wake you. I didn’t know if you were planning to stay for church tomorrow morning or not, and I thought we should talk before you go.”
Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) Page 21
