“So where in all this very sad tale do you accuse yourself of not caring for your children, Ellen?” Val drew his hand down the thick length of her braid in slow, soothing sweeps. “You were young, and God’s will prevailed.”
“Not God’s will, Val,” Ellen said tiredly. “Freddy’s. That lovely, comforting tea he brought me, the only one that quieted my digestion? It was mostly pennyroyal, though he told me it was a blend of spearmint, and I did not know any better.”
“Pennyroyal?” Val’s memory stirred, but nothing clear came to mind. “Ah, the little plant you tossed aside. You were not happy to see it.”
“Pennyroyal will bring on menses. Ask any midwife or physician. It is an ancient remedy for the unwanted pregnancy, but in a tea or tisane, particularly if it’s mixed with other ingredients, it tastes like spearmint. I eagerly swilled the poison that killed all three of my babies, Val, and it’s my fault they died.”
“But you didn’t know. Freddy should be brought to account for this, and it is not your fault.”
“It is my fault,” Ellen rejoined. “Early in my marriage, Freddy approached me and suggested he and I might be allies of a sort. He was just a boy then, a gangly, spotty, lonely boy, and I found his overture endearing. It soon became clear he wasn’t a nice boy. We had trouble keeping maids when he was visiting in the summers, and then when he was sixteen, he came to live with us.”
“He’s a bully and a sneak and a thoroughgoing scoundrel.”
“He suggested I might want to share my pin money with him,” Ellen went on, “but I’d overheard the footmen discussing Freddy’s gambling losses, and since he was still only a boy, I did not think it wise to indulge him.”
“And you were right.”
“And I was a fool,” Ellen retorted bitterly. “Freddy exploded when I refused him; that’s the only word I can use. His reason came undone, and he said awful things. I had not said anything to Francis about Freddy trying to borrow from me, because I didn’t want Freddy to suffer in his cousin’s esteem. But when Freddy lost his temper like that, I had the first inkling I should have been afraid of him.”
“He would have been only a youth. Francis would have dealt with him sternly.”
“Francis wanted to see only the best in Freddy. That cranky, sullen, lazy, manipulative boy was Francis’s heir and the only other member of Francis’s family. I did not want to destroy Francis’s respect for him altogether.”
“So you made an enemy,” Val concluded. “One willing to stoop to sneaking and poison to get what he wanted.”
“Exactly, and Freddy could be so charming, so convincing in his apologies. When he came bearing tea and sympathy to my sick room, offering to play a hand of cards or read to me, I was touched and tried to forget his terrible tantrum. I should have known better.”
“When did you learn the truth?” Val asked, now drawing his fingers through Ellen’s unbound hair, even as he vowed to kill Freddy by poison and make sure the whelp of Satan knew exactly how he was dying and why.
“After Francis’s funeral,” Ellen said, her voice taking on a detached quality, as if the words themselves hurt her, “the solicitors read the will, and Freddy maintained his composure beautifully, until he and I were left alone in the formal parlor at Roxbury Hall. Then he had another tantrum, quite as impressive as the first.”
“Let me see if I can figure this,” Val said, wanting to spare her the rest of the recitation. “Francis had cut him out of the will, more or less, or at least until he was thirty, but you were well provided for. Freddy told you he would be collecting all your income, lest he reveal you had terminated your pregnancies on purpose, and ruin you socially.”
“He did better than that.” Ellen paused and lifted her arms from Val’s waist to his neck. “He told me my willful behavior—for he would confess I had begged him to procure me that tea, and he just a lad who didn’t know any better—amounted to a serious crime, and if I couldn’t be convicted for that, he’d demonstrate that a woman who would kill three babies might also kill their father.”
“God above. I should have killed the little shite when I had the chance.”
“You are not a murderer,” Ellen said firmly. “Freddy is, and a murderer of innocents, Val.”
“You are not a murderer, either,” Val said, tightening his embrace.
“Nonetheless, I can be very convincingly accused of murder… of my unborn children’s murder, of my husband’s.”
Through the haze of rage and protectiveness clouding his brain, Val tried to remember what he’d read of law. “Firstly, your children weren’t born, so they could not be murdered, not under civil law as I recall it. Secondly, you’ve been investigated regarding your husband’s death and found innocent.”
Ellen dropped her forehead to his throat. “I disobeyed my husband when I terminated those pregnancies, and therein lies a crime. Then too, by virtue of the use of pennyroyal, I am demonstrated to be familiar with poisons, and Freddy will harp on that to have the investigation reopened. He will ruin me and anybody associated with me, and enjoy doing it.”
“He cannot ruin you if you are my wife, Ellen. I won’t allow it, and I flatter myself my family has the influence to send Freddy packing.”
“I will not allow you to put it to the test. He has killed babies, Val, and I have every suspicion he killed Francis, as well.”
“Was he not investigated?” Val asked, mental wheels turning in all manner of directions.
“He had not yet reached his majority and did a very convincing job of being the bewildered youth bereft of his mentor and his only real relation on this earth. He wailed at great length he wasn’t ready to be the baron and did not want to be the baron, and if only one of my children had lived, he would be spared the awful task of filling Francis’s shoes.”
“Then he turned around and promptly drained the income from all three of your estates.”
Ellen’s head came up. “You know about the other two?”
“Francis loved you very much,” Val said gently, “and you told me he’d had two weeks to set his affairs in order. This estate was hardly habitable, so I concluded there were others. Maybe Francis had some inkling Freddy would not deal well with you, or maybe he just wanted you to have all you were due.”
“But you knew.” Ellen cocked her head. “And you said nothing?”
“I just found out recently.” Val tucked her against him again. “I wouldn’t have, except the Markham solicitors were told to keep an eye on you even if you insisted they leave you in peace.”
“Told by whom?”
“Your late husband.” Val kissed her cheek. “They continue to hold him in great respect. As long as you insisted they keep their noses out of your affairs, they could only watch the income come into Freddy’s pockets through the back door. Someday, I’d like to see these estates of yours, Ellen Markham.”
“But you cannot, Valentine. If Freddy knew I’d told you all this, he would feel excused in killing you outright.”
“Why hasn’t he killed you?”
“The life estate here,” Ellen explained. “I get the rents here only as long as I am alive, and these rents are substantial enough I am worth more to Freddy alive than dead. Francis set it up so if I die without issue, the other two estates go his distant relative, Mr. Grey, while this one reverts to a trust Freddy can’t touch for years.”
“Mr. Grey is the theoretical cousin?”
“Unless I remarry and produce children, in which case the properties will pass to them or can be sold by them on my death for equal division—hence Freddy’s reluctance to see me married to anyone before my dotage.”
“This is a lot to consider, Ellen,” Val said, feeling the effects of sitting too long on one hard, little piano bench—which was odd. A year ago, he would never have considered any piano bench too hard. “Shall we discuss it further while we make our way home?”
“Yes.” She let Val draw her to her feet. He settled her shawl around her and drew her unboun
d hair over her shoulders, then took her hand and led her down the stairs.
The moon had risen, illuminating the deserted green, while laughter and the sound of a harmonica came from the Rooster.
Val and Ellen passed along the lane through the soft summer night, the air fragrant with the scents of honeysuckle growing along the hedgerows. It wasn’t a long walk, not nearly long enough in some regards. When they got to Ellen’s cottage, Val unlocked the door and lifted Ellen into his arms, carrying her across the threshold.
She smiled, probably at the gallantry and symbolism of it, but it was a sad smile. When Val laid her down on the bed and moved off to shed his clothes, she made no protest, though. He undressed her, as well, and tugged her to a sitting position so he might assist her with her nighttime ablutions, then tucked her under the sheet and managed his own washing up with swift dispatch.
He wanted to argue with her, wanted to ravish her, wanted to keep her safe and never leave her side.
In what Ellen no doubt believed to be their final hours together, what Val wanted most, though, was to cherish his lady. He put aside his misgivings, doubts, schemes, and arguments, pulled her into his arms, and stroked his hand over her back until at last, sleep claimed them both.
When he next came to awareness, it was to hear the pretty, fluting morning carol of the birds—an incongruously optimistic sound given what the day held. The cottage was still dark, but dawn was just minutes away.
“You’re still here.” Ellen, sleepy, warm, and precious, burrowed into his embrace.
In the cocoon of drowsiness and trust enveloping them, it occurred to Val to lay his plans before the woman he loved, except she would not agree with the course he’d chosen. They’d argue, and then they’d part in anger.
They’d talked enough, at least for the present, so when Val settled his length over her, he offered her one heartfelt, “I love you,” before allowing his hands and mouth and body to express for him what words could only approximate.
“I love you, too,” Ellen replied, lifting her hips to receive him and closing her arms around him. “I always will.”
He joined them slowly, memorizing every sensation and sound: Ellen’s sighs; the way her body welcomed his into sweet, female heat; the feel of her foot gliding up his calf; the hot glow of pleasure simmering in his groin. He kissed her, grazed his mouth over her every feature, and held still while she returned his explorations. When he moved again, it was with less restraint and more desperation.
“Stay with me.”
Val heard Ellen’s words whispered against his shoulder and understood what she was asking—and what she wasn’t. Not, “Don’t ride away today,” which would have had him singing hallelujahs for the whole shire to hear, but rather, “Share bodily pleasure with me, intimately, completely, one last time.”
A gentleman with any sense wouldn’t. A smart man, out of consideration for the woman and for his own future might not. A wise man certainly couldn’t even entertain the notion, given the timing of the lady’s request.
But Val was her lover, and binding Ellen to him through any means was entirely consistent with his hopes, his dreams, and his heartfelt needs. Even that might not have allowed him to comply with her plea, but he knew her and took it upon himself to know her dreams and needs, as well.
When Ellen locked her ankles at the small of his back, when she was making an odd little keening sound against his shoulder, when slow, deep strokes into her body had Val’s entire being aflame with the pleasure of their joining, he allowed himself to stay with her. He deluged her with pleasure and submerged himself in the same flood, until passion was spent, and the time to part was inexorably upon them.
By the time he rose from the bed, the cottage was growing light, and the birds had gone quiet.
“Valentine?” Ellen struggled up against the pillows banking the headboard.
“Love?”
“Thank you—for everything. And I do love you.”
He offered her a smile, realizing that even in giving him the words, she was confirming her belief that they needed to part. He heard the farewell in her words, though he didn’t want to. The same farewell had been in her smile when he’d carried her over the threshold; the same farewell had been in her entire story when he’d held her on the piano bench in the assembly room, and in her loving just moments earlier.
So he’d leave her and let her—and Freddy—think the game was over. Lord Valentine Windham, musical artist and virtuoso without portfolio, had things to do if he was going to ensure his lady’s peace of mind and safety. If Ellen had to remain here, he’d trust friends, Almighty God, contingency plans, and the good luck he was long overdue to keep her safe until Val himself was once again at her side.
Fifteen
Sean took Zeke’s reins from Val’s hand, and Ellen watched as Val stuffed his riding gloves in his pocket. He was all brisk efficiency this morning, while Ellen felt dazed and aching in every corner of her soul.
“Walk with me, Ellen.” He linked his fingers through hers and turned her toward the home wood. “You will listen to me, for the sooner I can get moving, the less heat Zeke will have to deal with between here and Town.”
She nodded, heart breaking, while Val—man-fashion—focused on practicalities.
“You are to move to the house,” he began, sounding very stern indeed, as stern as a duke. “If Freddy is waiting to strike, you will be safer at the house. The staff is instructed not to admit him and to keep you safe at all times. I understand you will want to continue to pass along your rents to that weasel, and I can’t stop you, but I’ve hired gardeners for this property, and I expect you to put them to work.”
“I can’t stay in your house,” Ellen protested weakly. “I’ll be a kept woman.”
“Stay in your cottage,” Val shot back, “and you could be a dead woman. I’m leaving, Ellen. Leaving. You own the life estate here and you have as much right to dwell in that house as I do. I will feel better knowing you are at the manor and not in the cottage where you might have already come to grief. I want your promise on this.”
She bit her lip but couldn’t deny his logic. “I’ll live at the house. I promise.”
“Good.” He nodded briskly and barreled onward. “You will also receive callers, including but not limited to Sir Dewey, and Axel and Abby Belmont. Abby will want a female friend on hand as her pregnancy progresses, and I think you owe her that much. I understand her sister-in-law will be up with Axel’s brother at the start of the Oxford term, and they will likely call on you.”
“I can receive them.” She didn’t know quite how, but for Valentine, she’d make the effort.
“And the vicar and his wife,” Val went on, “and Mrs. Bragdoll, if those louts of hers can ever be left unsupervised for a moment. And you will correspond with my sisters-in-law.” Ellen merely nodded, too overcome with the looming parting to do more than hear his words.
“Valentine?”
“Yes, love?” His green-eyed gaze held hers as he walked with her past a particular corner on the path through the woods.
“You’re really going?” Except it wasn’t a question.
“You’ve asked it of me,” Val reminded her gently, “and you are convinced Freddy will pester me literally to death if I don’t leave you to continue on with him as you did before, and you have forbidden me to call him out.”
She nodded and leaned into him, fell into him, because her knees threatened to buckle with the magnitude of the loss she was to endure.
Val embraced her, resting his cheek against her hair. “You’re a strong woman, Ellen Markham, and I have every faith in your ability to soldier on. I need to know as I trot out of your life that you will be fine and you will manage here without me. So”—he put a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze—“tell me some pretty lies, won’t you? You’ll be fine?”
Ellen blinked and obediently recited the requested untruth. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be fine, as
well.” Val smiled at her sadly. “And I’ll manage quite nicely on my own, as I always have. You?”
“Splendidly,” Ellen whimpered, closing her eyes as tears coursed hot and fast down her cheeks. “Oh, Val…” She clutched him to her desperately, there being no words to express the pure, undiluted misery of the grief she’d willingly brought on herself.
“My dearest love.” Val kissed her wet cheeks. “You really must not take on so, for it tortures me to see it. This is what you want, or do I mistake you at this late hour?”
“You do not.” The sigh Ellen heaved as she stepped back should have moved the entire planet. She wanted Val safe from Freddy’s infernal and deadly machinations, and this was the only way to achieve that goal. She had the conviction Valentine Windham, a supremely determined and competent man—son of a duke in every regard—would not take Freddy’s scheming seriously until it was too late.
It was up to her to protect the man she loved, and that thought alone allowed her to remain true to the only prudent course. “You have not mistaken me, not now—not ever.”
“I did not think you’d change your mind.” Val led her back toward the house by the hand. “I have left my direction in the library, and in the bottom drawer of the desk you will find some household money. I know you’d prefer to cut all ties, Ellen, but if you need anything—anything at all—you must call upon me. Promise?”
“I promise,” she recited, unable to do otherwise.
“And Ellen?” Val paused before they got to the stable yard. “Two things. First, thank you. You gave me more this summer than I could have ever imagined or deserved, and I will keep the memories of the joy we shared with me always. Second, if there should be a child, you will marry me.”
“There will not be a child,” she murmured, looking back toward the wood. He was thanking her? She’d cost him a fortune and put his well-being in jeopardy, and he was thanking her? “I do not, and never will, deserve you.”
“Promise me you’ll tell me if there’s a child?” Val’s green eyes were not gentle or patient. They were positively ducal in their force of will.
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