by Geri Foster
Candi and Tyler held the hose while he pumped. By the time they were finished, his shirt stuck to his damp body and Tyler’s jeans were wet.
Laughing, they headed back to the barn. Once there, Candi dusted her hands. “That was a hard day’s work.”
He put his hands on his hips and cocked his hip. “You think so?”
Tyler nodded. “I moved a lot of hay today.”
“Now we get to load the trailer up for tomorrow.”
Candi groaned. “You’re kidding.”
“No. When Clay Burcaw comes over to feed the cattle tomorrow, it’s not fair for him to have to load the trailer first.”
Without waiting for them to reply, he backed the trailer into the barn and began stacking up bales. Candi and Tyler worked together and were able to get several bales stacked up. A couple of hours later they were all exhausted and leaning against the work bench, wiping off sweat.
“I never realized how much work went into ranching.”
“This is nothing,” he said. “We just covered feeding time. There’s a lot more to ranching than what we did today.”
“I’m tired,” Tyler said. “And hungry.”
“One more thing before we leave. Stay right here.”
He ran into the back of the shed and drove out the old tractor. Tyler jumped up and down with excitement. “A tractor, Mom. A real tractor.”
He patted his lap. “Get on up here. You can’t go home without driving a tractor.”
Tyler ran full out until he stepped beside the old machine.
Looking at Candi, he called. “Come on, there’s room for you to stand right here.” He pointed to a twelve by twelve area behind the driver’s seat.
With Tyler already on his lap, he reached down and pulled Candi up beside him. “Step right there and hold on to my shoulders.”
Together, they made several turns around the pasture, Tyler handling the wheel and practically vibrating with excitement. Candi held on tightly to Austin’s arms as he guided the boy on how to steer.
Before long, they drove the tractor back to the barn and he allowed Tyler to park it in the back. Then, they all jumped to the ground.
He bent down, placing his hands on his knees, his eyes even with Tyler’s. “How about a nice, juicy hamburger.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Candi said quickly. “We can wait until we get home.”
“You two put in a hard day. The least I can do is feed the help.”
“Yeah, Mom. The least he can do is feed us.”
They laughed while washing their hands in the sink area of the barn. Before long they loaded into his car and headed for town. He pulled into a popular hamburger place and they exited the car.
The next thing he knew, Tyler ran up and took his hand, holding on tightly, while Candi walked on his other side. Just for an instant, he felt what being part of a family might feel like.
Chapter 10
Candi had never had such a fun and exhausting day. She’d definitely be hitting the shower as soon as they reached her apartment. Looking around, she hoped no one in the rustic restaurant smelled them. She had to remind herself that hardworking people compiled this community and they tended to mind their own business.
Finishing their burgers, Austin gave Tyler some change to play video games while they relaxed a few minutes before heading back home. They both kept a close eye on him.
“He never tires out,” she said, thankful for Austin’s patience.
“I imagine little boys his age are all alike.”
She braced her head on her palm. “He’s my little bundle of joy, all right.”
He remained quiet for several seconds and she feared he might have had his fill of them for one day and wanted to get her and Tyler home as soon as possible. “Thanks for sharing your day with us. If you’re ready to go, we can leave anytime.”
He looked surprised. “But Tyler is still playing.” He straightened. “I’m sorry, do you have other plans?”
She shot upright. “No, no. I have absolutely nothing to do when I get home.”
“Then what’s the rush?”
“I thought maybe you were sick of putting up with a seven- year-old,” she lowered her voice and glanced away. “And his mother.”
He reached over and took her hand, cupping it between his palms. His warmth sent her heart to another hemisphere. “That’s not the case at all. I could stay here with the two of you all night.”
She perked up. “Really?” then glanced away. “I just assumed since you didn’t have children, they weren’t of interest to you.”
“Before spending the day with Tyler I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be a dad.”
“What?” she chuckled. “You’d be a great dad.”
“Not the way I was raised.”
Now she understood why he hadn’t bothered to have a serious relationship. His father. She always found it strange how parents who had kids didn’t realize how they framed their future lives. A bad home often meant trouble ahead for children.
“Your dad’s changed a lot.”
“You’re right, he has, but he sure put my mom and me through hell first.”
“There wasn’t anything you could do.”
He shook his head and stared off into the distance. “I know, but I don’t want to screw up a kid’s life. I could never live with myself if I did.”
“I know Russ is sorry. He’s told me many times how he wishes he had it all to do over again. A second chance. He always assures me that he loved you and your mom, even when it didn’t seem like it.”
“He does now, and I’m not going to disrespect him for the past, because he is trying to make amends. But, it makes me second guess my ability to really love someone, want a family, all that kind of stuff.” He turned and their eyes met. “I don’t know if I’m good family material.”
“I believe you are. You’re a good man, Austin. You don’t need me to tell you that. You already have Tyler wrapped around your little finger.”
He focused on her boy and grinned. “He’s quite the kid.”
“Yes, he is.” Taking him in, her heart ached. “You know I was a young mother and I can’t tell you the uncertainty I felt.”
“I imagine. It must’ve been hard when Aaron turned his back on you.”
“It was terribly painful.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “I even thought of putting him up for adoption.” He looked horror stricken until she raised her hand. “Only briefly. Then, I realized I didn’t have to know how to be a mom, I just needed to love him and give him the best I could.”
“You said yourself my dad loved me and my mom, yet he did some horrible things.”
“Russ used to love the bottle more. He did things drunk he’d never do sober. I think that’s why he doesn’t allow liquor in his home. Alcohol and addiction are terrible monsters. Russ wasn’t himself when he drank. He’s trying very hard to make up for that now. I know he’s grateful for a second chance.”
“I love my dad, but when I think back to what went on in that house, it gives me shivers to this day.”
“We’re not our parents, Austin. I know when I was young I found a lot of faults with my folks even though they loved me dearly. I hated being so poor. I know the other kids looked down on me, and I often blamed my parents. I didn’t realize they were doing the best they could with what they had.”
“Your dad is a good man.”
“He certainly is, but as he got older we realized he’d had a learning disability in school and that’s what prompted him to drop out early. No education, no good jobs.”
“But, he was a hustler.” Austin released her hand. “He found a way to feed his family.”
“Often that’s all he managed. But, I don’t hold anything against them anymore. It only makes me wish I could do more for Tyler.”
He turned and watched as her son played a video game. “He seems happy.”
“I think he is. Money isn’t everything. At least, not until he gets to high school. Ma
ybe by then I will have earned my degree and will have a better job than the diner.”
“Is that why you want a degree? For Tyler?”
“Just about everything I do is for him. I’d love to give him the world on a platter, but I can’t right now.”
“He doesn’t look like he wants a platter. He just needs a few extra quarters.”
Tyler joined them, looking exhausted. “Are we ready to go?”
“You spent all your money?” Austin asked. “Those machines are tough.”
“You can say that again. But it was fun.”
It surprised her that Tyler slid in the booth beside Austin and not her. He usually stuck pretty close to her when they were in a strange place. Maybe he was getting more confident. One thing was for certain: he really took a liking to Austin and so had she.
Sliding out of the booth, she exclaimed, “I can’t believe you’re ready to go home.” Austin stood and helped her slip on her jacket and she smiled her thanks. “You usually like to play those video games until you drop.”
“I do, but I also want to get home in time to tell Kyler what an awesome day I had. He’s not going to believe I drove a tractor.”
Austin laughed. “You going to mention the rooster?”
“I am, because I finally won him over. He knows better than to mess with me.”
At that, Austin smiled at her over Tyler’s head.
When they arrived home, her son was already yawning. “He’s going to sleep good tonight.”
“Well,” Austin said as they walked up the driveway, “I’m not.”
She stopped. “Why?”
“My uncle texted me while we were at the ranch and wants me to meet him at his new place to go over things before he transfers the cattle.”
“Does he have furniture?”
“No, but he’s offered a sleeping bag on the floor.”
“You’re right, this won’t be a good sleeping night for you.”
While Tyler ran ahead, Austin pulled her close and kissed her. She’d gotten to the point she loved their lips together. Holding her hand, he looked down into her eyes. “I’ll be tied up with Jeff tomorrow, but can I stop by in the evening? Maybe the three of us can go to the park or get some ice cream.”
She smiled. “I’d love that. Just call me first.”
He took his phone out of his pocket. “I don’t have your number.” He glanced up at her. “Do you have mine?”
They shared numbers and he promised if he found time tomorrow he’d call and see how things were going, which sent a thrill through her. Was this a relationship? Could there be more? Was she ready? And what about his past? Dare he gamble on love? She could only hope the answer to all those questions was yes.
Austin stopped by his dad’s for a few minutes after leaving Candi’s. “You meeting your Uncle Jeff out at his new place?”
“I told him I’d help him check out the fencing and the barn before he moves the herd. We plan to sleep out there tonight.”
His dad rubbed his back. “I’d join you two, but my aching bones won’t allow that. I’d pay for a week if I slept on the floor.”
“Better you stay here. Take it easy.”
“How did the day go with Candi and Tyler?”
“I think the kid really enjoyed himself. He worked his butt off. Tired enough to almost fall asleep on the way home.”
His dad glanced up coyly. “And Candi?”
He knew the direction the conversation was headed. “Now, Dad, don’t go making more of this than there is. I’ve always had a crush on Candi, sure, but you and I both know I was never the settling down type. We’re taking things one step at a time.”
“Well, she’s a pretty good catch in my opinion. Don’t wait too long or you might lose her.”
“She’s a good thing for anyone she marries, but she’s in no hurry.”
“You sure about that?”
“I’m not tying her down, Dad. She’s free to do as she pleases. I’m just enjoying her company and she is enjoying mine.”
“I don’t think you should take that attitude with a kid involved. Tyler is pretty smart and he’s hungry for male company.”
Frustrated over getting unsolicited dating advice, without thinking, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “So now you’re father of the year?” The pain that flashed across his dad’s face cut like a knife. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
“Course you did and you had every right to say it. I was the worst dad a son could have. I beat you for no reason other than my own hurt and anger. I took it all out on you.” His dad moved to his favorite recliner and sat. “I’m sorry. Sorrier than you’ll ever know.”
Rubbing his knuckles, he decided, with the door already open, he might as well step inside and finally get some answers to some hard questions. “So…what I don’t get is, why did the drink ever make you beat up your wife…and your kid?” He looked his dad dead in the eyes as he asked the one question he had been anguishing over for years.
His dad held his gaze and answered honestly, “I have no real reason for treating you the way I did. You were a good boy who minded well and didn’t get in trouble. Again, it was all me and how mad I was at the world. I didn’t think I’d been given my fair share of the good things in life, so I took it out on you.”
“Like what? You had me and Mom, food on the table, a decent place to live. What were you missing?”
“Things weren’t as simple as that. When I lost my job, I couldn’t see a way to provide for my family anymore. And it pissed me off, so I started drinking more and more. I should have been able to take care of you. It shouldn’t have had to be your mother. And then, because she was out there, working…well, our marriage wasn’t perfect, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Are you saying it’s Mom’s fault you started getting violent with us?”
“I didn’t say that.” His voice rose. “I’d never accuse her of my own doings.”
“So, what happened?” he threw up his hands. “For crying out loud, I’m old enough to know what happened to make my dad beat up on his own family.”
His dad did a lot of grumbling before finally staring up at him. “Well, sit down. I’m not going to get a kink in my neck talking to you.”
He walked into the living room and took the chair opposite his dad. “Okay, is this better?”
His dad nodded. “I don’t know what made me violent. I’m sorry, I know that isn’t the answer you’re looking for but that is the truth. After I lost my job and with no money coming in, your mom had to work outside the home and that left me with nothing to do besides suck on a bottle and recount what a useless piece of crap I was for not being able to take care of my family.”
“I guess you didn’t consider looking for another job?” he said, a little coldly.
“Not when I could drink all day. And when I drank, I didn’t care,” his dad stated openly, owning up to his mistakes.
He hung his head, ashamed of his own behavior in the face of his dad’s candor. He said years ago he was going to give the man a second chance. Throwing his anger at him wasn’t following through with that. “Booze will definitely muddle the brain,” he offered quietly.
“That it will. It wasn’t long until your mom didn’t want to come home to a drunk at night.” He laid back his head and let out a deep sigh. “The next think I know, she’s going to leave me for her big shot boss.”
His head flew up at that. “Really? Mom? I had no idea.” His eyes widened, considering how that must have felt. “That will gut a man.”
“Don’t blame her. It was all my fault. If I’d been a good husband, she would’ve never strayed.” He was about to protest but his dad held up his palms. “I take full responsibility for that.”
He shook his head, “But Mom never left.”
“No, she didn’t.” His dad stared at him. “Because I wouldn’t let her take you.”
“Me? Wh—if she really wanted to go, how could you have stopped her?”
“Years ago, infidelity wasn’t as easily overlooked as it is today.”
“So, she stayed for me?”
His dad nodded and he leaned back in shock. Not only was his mom so unhappy in her marriage that she cheated on her dad but, she stayed in that horrible marriage just because she didn’t want to lose him. He was thankful that she felt that way, loved him that much, but it also hurt, knowing at least one of them could have been happy. And then, with the way it ended for her…“I hope you know you aren’t making me feel good about myself, knowing I’m the reason you two were so miserable.”
“No, you weren’t the reason. You were the only bright thing in your mom’s life at the time. And it was the bottle making me miserable—not you. It just took me a while to realize I was destroying my family as well as myself. I had to hit rock bottom before I finally got the message. The day your mother told me she had cancer and was dying, that’s the last day I drank.
“We didn’t know how long she had, but I promised I’d be there for her no matter what I had to do. I swore I’d not touch another drop of liquor, to make it up to her.”
“So, you nursed her until she died.”
“The strange thing that happened during that time is I fell more in love with her every single day God gave us.” Tears glistened in his dad’s eyes. “I cherished her and prayed she’d be spared, that I would be given the chance to give her the life she deserved.”
“That was a tough time for all of us,” he said softly, through a lump in his throat.
“Yes,” his father whispered.
Unable to take anymore, he stood, put his hands in his back pocket and looked out the front window. Tyler and his friend were walking down the street and he smiled a small smile. Tyler was talking up a storm, his arms swinging in the air. Their laugher reached his ears and he grinned, remembering the day they’d had together, carefree and happy.
“I told Candi earlier I didn’t think I’d make a good dad.”
“Why do you think that?” his dad asked, bewilderment in his voice. “You’d make a great dad. I’m surprised you don’t already have a couple of kids by now actually. You and Lydia were together a long time.”
